DARKMATTERS - The Mind of Matt

You met me at a very strange time in my life...

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Matt Adcock meets Russell Brand (and Adam Sandler)


Matt Adcock Meets Russell Brand (and Adam Sandler too)

As the new Disney magical fantasy adventure / comedy Bedtime Stories hits the screens I got to meet up with two of the stars of this fun family film.

Matt: I liked the ideas behind the stories your character tells the kids in this film coming to life. It must have been fun playing out the fantasy sections?

Adam: I looked great in a cowboy hat, so the Wild West scene was fun and I think I looked fantastic in leather pants in the space scene. I really looked good in the gladiator costume too. At least I am guessing I looked good judging by the reaction I got from my co-star Keri Russell.

Russell: I get to play a robot called ‘Lieutenant Mike’ in the Outer Space chapter and they were very diligent and assiduous in their make up job, painting even the inside of my mouth golden, in spite of what we learned from the film Goldfinger that being covered in gold paint can lead to death. There was one area of skin that didn’t get painted gold though… and when I went for a wee my genitals looked ridiculous, this pink organic object emerging from C-3PO’s robotic torso!

Matt: And so how did you pick Russell for the part?

Adam: We had a great part in the film for this room service guy at the hotel who was my best friend and kind of loose and great with the kids. First of all we imagined Russell doing it; we got excited just thinking about the possibility and then Russell was cool enough to say yes. I thought he would be good. He was more comfortable with the children than me in fact. Then we completed the movie and we screened it for the first time. When they ask audiences who is their favorite character, I got a score of 91 which is very high and I thought, ‘great’. But then I looked at Russell’s score and he got 96. I thought to myself: how dare he? The children of America have embraced the long and lean and handsome Russell Brand.

Russell: Thank you Adam and I look forward to in about 15 year’s time that will really start paying dividends!

Matt: What was it like making your first Disney film?

Adam: I always loved Disney movies growing up with my own family. Every Sunday we would watch a Disney movie with Kurt Russell. I was a very big Kurt Russell fan as a child and in fact I wanted to be the modern day Kurt Russell.

Russell: What I’d do is think ‘there are children here’. But it’s not mentally hard because, obviously in my life, I have friends who have got kids and hang out with kids. With them, I don’t think ‘right, now for some X-rated filth’ to pass the time. I use the usual methods I’d use socially and it’s nice to see myself doing something in a film and like it’s not all rude.

Matt: I’ve heard you’re both big sport fans – did you get to watch much whilst filming?

Russell: Sandler is obsessed with sport and, in fact, it seems to be prioritised over making the film. There were screens everywhere showing basketball, football and stuff like that next to the monitor that I’m trying my hardest to be doing my acting on. I’d say, what about that bit of acting? Was it all right?’ and someone would shout ‘they’ve just scored a touchdown’.
At least they understood the significance of West Ham United in my life. Sport was one of the things that made me feel very comfortable in that environment and enhanced my masculinity. It was like: ‘sport, hey? I like sport too. We’re not so different, are we?’


You can see Adam and Russell in Bedtime Stories from 26th December.

Read our review here and enter our competition here

Bedtime Stories - Christmas Competition


"be careful what you wish for..."

BEDTIME STORIES COMPETITION...

To celebrate the release of the new Disney film Bedtime Stories - Darkmatters have some cool prizes that you can win (if you live in the UK).

There are 4 runners up and one jackpot winner (umbrella, nightlight, book to write your own bedtime stories in...)

To be in with a chance of winning - just finish this sentence in less than 20 words and email it to:
darkmatters@another.com

My ulitmate bedtime story is the tale of......(your 20 words go here)


Editor's choice is final - winners picked by 12 Jan so get going!!

GOOD LUCK - and enjoy the film

Darkmatters review here: Bedtime Stories Review

Did it make our 'top ten films of the year'? find out here: matt's top ten films 2008

Film Review - Bedtime Stories


Bedtime Stories (PG)

Dir. Adam Shankman

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

2008 ends with a bang as the year’s most all round family pleasing fantasy effort rocks up to cinemas making far fetched children’s bedtime stories come to life.
In a brave move by Disney they have teamed up comedy goofball Adam Sandler with Brit shock comedian Russell Brand for their big Christmas movie. It might sound like a recipe for disaster but against all odds Bedtime Stories really works and director Adam ‘Cheaper By The Dozen 2’ Shankman manages to somewhat redeem his previous crimes against cinema with this genuinely good fun romp. So we have Skeeter Bronson (Adam Sandler) the immature but hardworking handyman at a swanky hotel that used to be run by his dad. Due to a twist of fate he is saddled with looking after his niece Bobbi and nephew Patrick (Laura Ann Kesling and Jonathan Morgan Heit) and all sorts of fun ensues when the crazy bedtime stories he tells them begin to come true in real life.Sure there is a predictable romantic subplot and lots of the comedy moments are telegraphed miles in advance but Sandler goes about his slapstick role with gusto and real heart. Russell Brand is surprisingly good as Mickey – Bronson’s best pal who also works at the hotel and suffers from a comedic sleep panic disorder but even he is upstaged by a goggle eyed guinea pig named Bugsy.
Bedtime Stories makes good use of it’s ‘anything can happen and you’re only limited by your imagination’ idea taking fantasy spins through the Wild West, a medieval castle and a messy outer space showdown. The kids are suitably adorable, the supporting cast are effective, especially Keri Russell as Jill ‘the love interest’ and the lovely Teresa Palmer as the spoilt babe daughter of the hotel owner Violet Nottingham. Of course there are baddies on offer in the form of underhand work rival Kendall (Guy Pearce) and his devious sidekick Aspen (Lucy Lawless). There are some lovely throw away touches such as a bright red Ferrari horse and Russell popping up as mermaid but pick of the bunch is Band’s robot alter ego – he could be C3PO’s long lost brother!
Hardened sceptics and Sandler haters might balk at such a machine tooled Disney feel good production but when it is done this well, there really isn’t any reason not to enjoy some fantasy kids dream wish fulfillment.

Happy Christmas!
Arbitrary final rating: öööööööö (8)

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Matt's top ten films 2008

Matt’s Top Ten Films of 2008

2008 had some fantastic films in just about every genre – there was high camp in Mama Mia (even if it was a bit like watching actors play SingStar on a Greek holiday), future art in Wall-E (unique and lovely)and more shoes than you can count in Sex and The City (I didn't like this but I know some women who did) but for me here’s the top ten of films that are worthy of special note:

"no one was supposed to get hurt..."

10. Before the Devil Knows You’re Dead (15)
An awesome slow burning, nerve grinding tour de force that will make you squirm as you see characters making very bad decisions and then try to deal with the consequences. Philip Seymour Hoffman and Ethan Hawke have never been better.

"What if the stories you told came to life?"

9. Bedtime Stories (PG)
You want ultimate kids dream wish fulfillment, genuinely funny slapstick, a romantic central plot and some great special effects… Disney deliver the goods this Christmas with the unlikely but winning team of Russell Brand and Adam Sandler bringing the feel good fun of making bedtime stories come to life. Adults need not apply.

"Never Forget. Never Forgive."

8. Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street (18)
Johnny Depp cuts a dashing swathe as the demon barber of Fleet Street, singing whilst he delivers this biting black comedy with a very sharp edge. A full blooded musical horror show driven by homicidal tendencies and cannibalistic appetites – it isn’t for the faint of heart.

"Shoot first. Sightsee later."

7. In Bruges (18)
You might not expect a foul mouthed, crunchingly violent and darkly comic oddball film about hitmen to make you stop and consider life, honour and the nature of Purgatory but that’s exactly what In Bruges achieves… Colin Farrell is on top form as a newbie contract killer hiding out in the quiet fairytale like Belgium town of Bruges.

"A comedy about growing up... and the bumps along the way."

6. Juno (15)
Teenage pregnancy is certainly no laughing matter but cool indie film Juno manages to deliver plenty of sharp comedy as well as a refreshing edginess in tackling a difficult subject head on. Juno has so much going for it, a fantastic cast, a rich and kookily left field comic vein and even a cool soundtrack. This compulsive watching and Ellen Page is going to be a massive star!

"When Ambition Meets Faith."

5. There Will Be Blood
Paul Thomas Anderson's epic sees Daniel Day-Lewis go completely over the top in a screen eating performance that burns into the retina. This is larger than life melodrama that doesn’t know when to stop. Mesmerising but uncomfortable – this is a must see, even if it’s only once.

"They took his daughter. He'll take their lives."

4. Taken (15)
“I will look for you, I will find you. And I will kill you…” People traffickers nab the wrong girl as her CIA trained dad (Neeson) goes on a rampage to save her. The plot might be wafer thin but that hardly matters when the action is this crunching and high octane. More exciting than the latest Bourne and Bond put together.

"Fully Charged."

3. Iron Man (12)
“Is it better to be feared or respected? I'd say is it too much to ask for both?” is the mantra of Tony Stark, multi-billionaire playboy and maverick high tech weapons dealer. Stark (a never better Robert Downey Jr.) becomes the titular metal clad super hero and unlike the multitude of tortured soul reluctant world saviours we’ve had recently, he relishes the opportunity.

"You can't stop what's coming."

2. No Country For Old Men (15)
In the land of the free they say that ‘there are no clean getaways’, and No Country for Old Men takes that notion and splatters it large across the screen in a stunning, violent modern classic. No Country for Old Men is an awesome experience - a perfect storm of a talented cast, quality source material and stunning direction, mixed with jaw dropping cinematography.

"Why So Serious?"

1. The Dark Knight (12)
The stakes are raised for Batman / Bruce Wayne (Christian Bale) when he has to figure out how to fight The Joker (Heath Ledger RIP) an enemy with an irrational lust for chaos. Dark and dangerous, fast and furious, a superhero film that is far more graphic novel than comic book. The Dark Knight is gorgeous, stylish and exciting - this is 2008’s defining film.



check out last year's list here:

matts-top-10-films-of-2007

Sunday, December 21, 2008

Film Review - Twilight


Twilight (12a)

 

Dir. Catherine Hardwicke (last two films: The Nativity, Lords of Dogtown)

 

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

           

Here’s something for those looking to get their teeth into an alternative teen angst relationship drama… Cribbed from Stephenie Meyer’s distinctly girly novel that takes on the live and loves of an impossibly good looking vampire Twilight oozes cool but lacks enough action or drama to make it worth more than a passing glance.

Director Catherine ‘Lords of Dogtown’ Hardwicke follows up her big screen depiction of the birth of Christ in The Nativity with a less festive tale of teenage love with a twist – one of the teenagers has been seventeen for over a hundred years!

Unfortunately it’s not as exciting as it sounds, Kristen Stewart plays Bella Swan, a love struck new girl in town who falls head over heels for goth looking Edward Cullen (Robert ‘Cedric from Harry Potter’ Pattinson). And erm, that’s about it really… Will it be love at first bite? Or is it just a pain in the neck?

My son Luke (now 11) said that he enjoyed the brief action scene towards the end where Cullen has to battle a much more evil vampire, but that the rest of the film left him cold. I can relate because  even the hand to hand combat between two super strong immortal creatures is a bit weak and over before it really has chance to raise the pulse rate. There’s a fun quidditch like game of vampire baseball at one point too but again it’s a blink and you’ll miss it few moments of light relief.

Most of the film is spent watching the two leads staring at each other, she can’t resist his vampire wiles despite his moody protestations that ‘you have to leave me alone or I’m liable to bite you’.  In fact it is Edward's repression of his bloodlust that forms most of the plot – a lumbering analogy for teen carnal impulses… Will he let his guard down and tuck into his new girlfriend or keep his fangs to himself and set up a lucrative sequel… take a wild guess… And is it just me or isn’t it a bit wrong for a guy who might look seventeen but is actually a very old man to be chasing such a young teenage girl?

Twilight has already been a pretty big hit in the States and has a series of novels to keep the films coming; I can only hope that they get more exciting as the go on.



Kristen Stewart - obvious vampire bait!

Arbitrary final rating: öööööö (6)

Friday, December 12, 2008

Film Review - The Day The Earth Stood Still



The Day The Earth Stood Still (12)

Dir.Scott Derrickson (last two films - The Exorcism of Emily Rose, Hellraiser: Inferno)

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

The world is in peril like never before; we have been tried by our celestial neighbours and found wanting… our sentence – complete annihilation… So as ominous massive spheres land around the globe, the people of earth do what they do best panic!!

Alien ambassador Klaatu (Keanu Reeves – looking distinctly inhuman) emerges from the sphere that lands in Central Park and is immediately shot and captured. Our American friends giving him the usual ‘welcome to earth’ treatment of drugging and interrogation – a great scene which sees some awesome dialogue:

"I'm going to ask you a series of control questions. Are you currently in a seated position?”

“Yes.”

“Are you human?”

“My body is.”

“Do you feel pain?”

“My Body does.”

“Are you aware of an impending attack on the planet earth?”

“You should let me go.”

Meanwhile Astro-biologist Helen Benson (Connelly) is forcefully dragged in to help the government figure out what they can do, but she takes a shine to our intergalactic guest and ends up on the run with him and her adopted son Jacob (Jaden Smith).

This remake of 1951’s sci-fi classic The Day The Earth Stood Still is a slick and relevant update, retooling the plot which then focused on the threat of nuclear war to now look at the eco disaster we’re busy creating. Director Scott ‘The Exorcism of Emily Rose’Derrickson keeps the best elements of the original including my favourite robot of all time ‘GORT’ (which stands for Genetically Organized Robotic Technology in case you were wondering). GORT is Klaatu’s bodyguard, a smooth, hulking, impassive sentinel that is so far beyond our primitive technology that we can’t even chip his armour plating.

Despite the end of the world scenario, sci-fi action seekers might be a bit gutted as this is more of the thinking thriller rather than butt kicking military battle simulator. There are a couple of action scenes and some jaw dropping effects which amp up when we feel the wrath of an impressive nanobot cloud but this certainly isn’t Independence Day 2.

Reeves is perfectly cast as Klaatu and Connelly does a good job of representing the human race, John Cleese even pops up as a professor at one point to allow for some high brow science discussions. Speaking of which the film also includes some interesting theological linkages- Klaatu gets to walk on water and raise someone from the dead. And if that isn’t enough for you, how about seeing him draw killer nanobots from the people he comes to care about and has them go into him instead… One friend suggested that this was like him taking away the sin of the world, I wouldn’t go that far but it makes for thought provoking watching. Are they saying that Jesus was one of these aliens that visited us 2,000 years ago?

Overall The Day The Earth Stood Still is a decent remake and good choice for anyone looking for something a little bit different. The eco moral running through the plot will give you lots to ponder and the eye candy special effects are very memorable.


Arbitrary final rating: öööööööö (8)

Sunday, December 07, 2008

Film Review - He Was A Quiet Man



He Was A Quiet Man (15)

Dir. Frank A Cappello

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

“You may ask why I did what I did. But what choice did you give me? How else could I get your attention? All I wanted to do is exist in your world. Just one person, would take time to actually see me. Help me find a way out.” Bob Maconel.

Bob (Christian Slater) was a quiet man, the office geek, the anonymous cube dwelling loser who nursed a deathwish about his work colleagues. This is the guy who sits across the street from this skyscraping workplace and fantasises about it blowing up, who actually carries a gun to work in his lunchbox with a view to blow a good number of his fellow workers away (egged on by his psychotic goldfish).

Welcome to a kind of Fightclub part 2, a world without rules, a frantic rollercoaster into the mind of a demented worker drone… Surreal and unnerving in equal measure, He Was A Quiet Man is a fantastic, amusing, satire / romance / thriller which digs under the calm surface tension of workplace bullying and wish fulfilment random violence leading to redemption. I mean who hasn’t at some point thought about blowing their co-workers away in a blaze of hot lead? Oh, you hadn’t, um, yeah well, it’s just a turn of phrase… Like when Bob says:

“There comes a time when the diseased and the weak must be sacrificed to save the herd.”

Slater is excellent here sporting an un-fetching receding hairline, chronic porno star moustache and a convincing clammy demeanour. He wants to be loved but he hasn’t got a chance with the pneumatic hotties in his office, especially as his male co-workers are loud, contemptible scumbags. One day the bald freako in the next booth beats Bob to the punch and starts to massacre everyone in the office. Bob is saved ironically because he was bending over to pick up a dropped bullet, and when he stands up is able to blow the killer away thus becoming an immediate hero. Suddenly Bob’s promoted to the role of Vice President for Creative Thinking, given a company car and executive privileges, life turns around so fast and so completely that it just might tip him over the edge. Also as a result of his hero status Bob gets to know Vanessa (Elisha Cuthbert) who took a bullet in the spine and is left paralysed, he steps up to become her new boyfriend / carer and things will never be the same for either of them…

The cinematography is superb, the flashes of surrealism are well judged and overall this is reality check for those who think Dilbert cartoons aren’t based in reality.

Even if you don’t think this sounds like your cup of tea, you should really check out the trailer for this mind blowing, challenging and altogether excellent movie… It’s a masterpiece and features some fantastic music – especially Robert Cosio’s ‘For You’… track it down here on my myspace page if you get chance.

He Was A Quiet Man is an odd film and certainly won’t be for everyone. But for me its gate crashed my top twenty films of all time and if you know the kind of stuff I like (Pi, Fight Club, The Crow, Die Hard, True Romance, Dark City, The Matrix etc) and think along the same lines then seeing this film should be the next thing you do!!

Film Review - Transporter 3


Transporter 3 (15)

Dir. Olivier Megaton

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

Vroom vroom crash bang wallop… Frank ‘the transporter’ Martin (Jason Statham) is back in the third all driving, all fighting , all macho nonsense Transporter sequel, delivering crazy car chase action that makes the Top Gear chaps look like a bunch of Sunday drivers.
To date the Transporter movies have been slick, brainless, breathless action flicks – so can the momentum be maintained for another high octane trip or is the franchise finally running out of fuel?
Alas, the smooth - and I don’t just mean his bald head - Statham is hamstrung in this latest outing by the fact that we’ve just about everything on offer here before, and it was better last time... The set up is achingly familiar, dubious characters hire Frank to drive a package somewhere at high speed, there’s an obligatory hot female (Natalya Rudakova) along for the ride and a host of baddies who’ll try and stop him.
Unfortunately no amount of Audis jumping onto moving trains, mass brawl fist fights or proximity bombs attached to body organs can overcome the crunching law of diminishing returns which bites hard here. Transporter 3 somehow manages to be stupid in the extreme and yet still take itself far too seriously. Writer-producers Luc Besson and Robert Mark Kamen seem content to serve up mildly reheated plot leftovers that not even Statham’s patented Bruce-Willis-alike smirk can make watchable.
New director Olivier Megaton couldn’t be less aptly named as Transporter 3 barely raises the pulse rate and delivers nothing very explosive. Also new is rubbish baddie named Johnson (Knepper) – a strong last minute entrant to nab the ‘weakest villain of the year’ award from that unthreatening bloke from Quantum of Solace. The dastardly plot is something about blackmail grubbiness to do with environmental policies and shiploads of toxic rubbish, which serves as an unfortunate but workable analogy for the film as a whole. One old face is back on duty but with very little to do except spout obvious plot observations and indulge in an odd spot of fishing with his unlikely pal Frank is Detective Tarconi (François Berléand), he really shouldn’t have bothered.
If a Transporter 4 is even being considered, we can only hope that it’s some kind of cross over where Jason Bourne, James Bond, John McClane and Frank Martin are pitted in a fight to death to see who is the hardest action hero… I’d pay to see that.
DARKMATTERS RATING SYSTEM (all ratings out of maximum 10 but '-' is bad whereas '+' is good):
Endorphin Stimulation: ööööö (5)
+ Averagely engaging
Tasty Action: öööööö (6)
+ Needed more polish, and new stuff...
Gratuitous Babeness: öööööö (6)
+ Natalya Rudakova is a bit freckly for my liking!?
Mind Blight / Boredom: öööööö (6)
+ No thinking required...
Comedic Value: ööööööö (7)
+ Best line... "are you 'the gay'?"... very amusing.
Arbitrary final rating: öööööö (5.5)
Fine but weakest of the series so far
Liable to make you:
"drive very fast on the way home"
DM Poster Quote:
"Choose life, choose Audi "

Sunday, November 30, 2008

Film Review - Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa



Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa (PG)

Dir. Eric Darnell and Tom McGrath

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

It’s a jungle down in your local cinema this week as a crazy bunch of New York City's Central Park Zoo escapees are back on the lose. It’s been three years since a funny series misadventures saw Alex the lion (Ben Stiller), Marty the zebra (Chris Rock), Melman the giraffe (David Schwimmer) and Gloria the hippo (Jada Pinkett Smith) washed up on the isle of Madagascar. Also back is the loopy Julien XIII (Sacha Baron Cohen), self proclaimed king of the lemurs, who decides to accompany the heroes on an ill fated attempted flight back to the Big Apple. The first moral of this sequel story is to never fly ‘Penguin Air’ because although they manage to get airborne, it isn’t long before the plane crash-lands in an African animal reserve. And would you believe it, this happens to be the exact reserve from where Alex grew up… so it’s not long before he’s reunited with his dad Zuba (Bernie Mac) and his mum (Sherri Shepherd). But the happy reunion is cut short thanks to devious Makunga (Alec Baldwin) – Zuba’s brother who has obviously been watching the Lion King because he engineers a pitfall which could see Alex immediately banished from the pride.
There’s more trouble coming from hard as nails Grandma (Elisa Gabrielli), the elderly lady who beat the living daylights out of Alex when they met in the first film, who by coincidence is on an African safari and not happy to see the ‘naughty kitty’ again.
Other unresolved issues left from the first movie such as Melman’s slightly creepy infatuation with Gloria are also explored when she becomes the attention of affection from Moto Moto the male hippo stud of the watering hole.
The scene stealing penguins are the pick of the wild bunch again, led as before by Skipper (co-director Tom McGrath), they take to robbing the local tourists in order to secure parts with which to try to rebuild the plane – and employ a team of funny monkeys to do the labour (thanks to their having opposable thumbs).
Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa is a fun if forgettable addition to the series, the quality cast, witty writing and occasionally impressive CGI artwork certainly make this a watchable all age treat. It’s no Shrek and won’t give Pixar animations any sleepless nights but there was enough here to keep my 8 year old son happy and I must confess to being pleasantly entertained too.

DARKMATTERS RATING SYSTEM (all ratings out of maximum 10 but '-' is bad whereas '+' is good):

Endorphin Stimulation: ööööööö (7)
+ Animal magic -ish

Tasty Action: öööööö (6)
+ slap that stick

Gratuitous Babeness: öööö (4)
+ Gloria is chunky

Mind Blight / Boredom: öööööö (6)
+ Even eight year olds sat through it

Comedic Value: ööööööö (7)
+ No wildlife joke left unused

Arbitrary final rating: öööööö (6)
Nice enough but won't be remembered


Liable to make you:
"book a safari"

DM Poster Quote:
"wildlife can be funny"

Film Review - Body Of Lies


Body of Lies (15)


Dir. Ridley Scott


Reviewed by Matt Adcock


Cinemagoers prepare to sign up and to do your part for the War on Terror,you’ll be working alongside crack CIA field agent Roger Ferris (LeonardoDiCaprio) in various hostile Middle Eastern locations.Your dangerous covert operations will be directed by smooth US basedoperative Ed Hoffman (Russell Crowe), who juggles your missions but mightnot be telling you everything you need to know.Ferris runs around Jordan, Iraq and Turkey hunting down nasty a BinLaden-ish Al-Saleem (Alon Aboutboul) and blowing terrorist fanatics awaywith extreme prejudice whilst Hoffman talks to him via a satellite linkheadset. There is an effective juxtaposition of Hoffman ordering the killsof suspects whilst ferrying his kids to football games or kissing them goodnight and tucking them into bed.There’s not a lot new here though – we’ve seen the ‘America andEurope are easy targets’ rhetoric many times before in films like last year’s The Kingdom (which packed less brain cells but ramped up theaction) and the older / younger spy formula has been even been effectivelyworked through by Scott’s younger brother Tony in Spy Game. So Body ofLies walks a fairly well trodden if horribly relevant path but Ridley‘Blade Runner’ Scott is a director who always delivers good looking movies even if they don’t completely captivate.There are several wham bam action scenes including a desert based carchase that would have fitted well into Quantum of Solace but even with the occasional shootout there are not enough set pieces to warrant callingthis an action thriller. Somehow ‘socio-political-analysis thriller’doesn’t have quite the same ring to it though.


Both the leads are effective especially Crowe who has plumped up for hisslimy role, even if DiCaprio still looks too boyishly young to be ahardened CIA veteran operative. Able support is on hand in the form ofMark Strong who plays Hani Salaam, the formidable and suave JordanianDirector of Intelligence along with an effective love interest for Ferrisin the form of sultry nurse Aisha (the lovely Golshifteh Farahani).Body of Lies probably isn’t going to change anyone’s world view but itis stylish and despite its simplistic depiction of the shades of greyamongst both friends and allies it makes for a mildly thought provokingevening out.


DARKMATTERS RATING SYSTEM (all ratings out of maximum 10 but '-' is bad whereas '+' is good):


Endorphin Stimulation: ööööööö (7)

+ Engaging if simplistic


Tasty Action: öööööööö (8)

+ Some very exciting action scenes


Gratuitous Babeness: ööööööö (7)

+ Golshifteh Farahani is cute


Mind Blight / Boredom: öööööö (6)

+ Not dull


Comedic Value: öööö (4)

+ Not a comedy whatever you think of American foreign policy


Arbitrary final rating: öööööö (7)

Does a stylish job of entertaining but no classic


Liable to make you:

"sign up for some covert ops"


DM Poster Quote:

“target identified - lock on to audience boredom..."

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Book Review - Anonymous by Jason Tanamor




Anonymous

by Jason Tanamor

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

"Stories are what make the world go round.
Stories entice people.
Stories influence..."

This story is called 'Anonymous' and its a hip freakfest nightmare ripped straight from the beating heart of suburban USA... If you're looking for some new powerful postmodern hard hitting fiction - like say Chuck Palahniuk or Douglas Copeland (note for reference that I am a fan of both) then Jason Tanamor is a funky new name to conjure with.

First things first - when I mention Palahniuk, I mean it. Tanamor writes fiction which if blind tested many would swear that Anonymous was the work of the Fight Club / Choke / Diary master author of the Zeitgeist...

Here's taster:

"The voices in the drainpipes, shooting out of
the toilet bowls, they’re talking about their lives when
they get out. When I get outta here, a voice says, I’m
going to change my life.

Another voice, it says, Me too.

I’m serious, the first ghost says, no more
bullsh*t for me.

Thanks for the stories, one voice says. And
then a flush.
These stories, the facts and the fictions often
get misconstrued.

Unknown, he is laying on his bed about to fall
asleep. Listening to the stories, telling his own, in
some way he’s united the guys.

He yells out loud, so that all the inmates can hear his voice traveling through
the drainpipes, “When you finally leave this dump, just
remember that you’re anonymous.”"

And that's the rub - do you know anything about that person you're sitting next to on the train, on the bus. That nice looking chap who serves you a coffee, who fixes your car, who sells you a newspaper?

As the cover blurb says...

"People are never what they appear to be. Thats why getting to know a person is so important. A persons hair, the way he dresses, his composure, thats what people notice. Its not like you can pick a pedophile or a sex addict out of a crowd. You never meet a person and think, That guy is a pedophile. Or That guy is a sex addict. You say, That man had a nice smile. Or, What a great guy. For a group of prisoners, however, thats all they think. Murderer? Child molester? Scam artist? Better yet, What did you do to get here?"

And so Anonymous is nifty series of tales, told by faceless prisoners blowing thier secrets and shame down the drain pipes... You'll get to hear from a generally unsavoury bunch spanning crimes great and small. There - that's Unknown, he's inside for pretending to be the manager of Brad Pitt, or Tom Cruise, that guy - he's Unknown, he's a sex addict, preying on women, scamming their affection from them. Or that guy... he's got anger issues, the next guy - bitter recriminations...

Reading Anonymous is like taking a audio tour of a high security jail, the tales told will shock, challenge and amuse in equal measure. Tanamor has a gift for skimming the scum from the top of a boiling pot of rancid emotion and making you taste it.

Not for the faint of heart, Anonymous isn't quite as hardcore as Palahniuk in full flow, but it'll freak out those who live in their own safe little worlds and never look outside.

Darkmatt Rating out of 5: öööö (grim but good)

Get yourself a copy here: http://www.amazon.com/Jason-Tanamor/dp/1434838285

Read Tanamor's blog here: http://jasontanamor.blogspot.com/

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Kirill - the mystery deepens... tune in!!



The adventure is building... Catch the first six episodes by clicking below:
http://kirill.uk.msn.com/?ocid=DBM

Max Payne Competition - take the payne home!!



Darkmatters Max Payne Competition

Pay attention - here's the lovely swag that the cool people at FOX have made available:

Be the envy of your mates with a bullet hole ridden t-shirt, a cool Max Payne wallet and erm, a cap too... Here's how:

If you live in the UK and can finish this sentence you'll be in with a chance...

"I don't believe in heaven, I believe in ____________"

Email your answer to: darkmatters@another.com

Good luck!!

Read the Darkmatters review of Max Payne here: http://darkmatt.blogspot.com/2008/11/film-review-max-payne.html

Sunday, November 16, 2008

Zack and Miri Make a Porno



Zack and Miri Make a Porno (18)

Dir. Kevin Smith

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

In these credit crunch times people it seems are being driven to ever more desperate lengths to make ends meet… And so it is for life-long friends Zack (Seth Rogen) and Miri (Elizabeth Banks), who are housemates struggling under a growing mountain of unpaid bills. Whilst changing for a school reunion Miri becomes an unwitting YouTube ‘star’ thanks to flashing her granny pants – underwear so enormous that even Bridget Jones would balk at them – to some mobile phone carrying teens. This gives Zack the inspiration for them to take an ill advised dive into the murky world of adult film production in order to raise some cash. But can the two platonic pals overcome their reticence, ditch their morals and get intimate on camera?
Writer-director Kevin ‘Clerks’ Smith isn’t shy about wallowing in the filth associated with the porno industry and Zack and Miri is certainly not a film for anyone easily offended. The incredibly bawdy and bodily function heavy humour, coupled with non-stop explicit language throughout makes this film offensive enough to traumatise any causal observer but Smith is on a mission here and the result is not what you might be expecting.
If you’re still reading and think that this might be your dirty cup of tea, there is certainly some very funny material here. Smith throws in everything from adult flavour Star Wars parody, marital disharmony / bliss observation and even a poignant sweet tale of true love…
Yes by the end of the movie you may well have been convinced that faithful relationships are definitely the best option in life and that true love is something worth holding out for. It seems that for all his gutter minded ingenuity, Smith has a romantic heart beating which he can’t help wearing on his sleeve. Zack and Miri despite it’s subject matter feels like his attempt to please more people than just his hardcore smut comedy usual fanbase – in a similar vein to Jersey Girl, only this time he hasn’t ditched all the filth.
Seth ‘Superbad’ Rogen is the comedy ‘go-to-guy’ of the moment and he sparkles here creating superb chemistry with the lovely Banks. These are two people you’ll really want to see end up together despite the murky business they get themselves caught up in.
You’ll laugh, you’ll wince and you’ll go home having been roundly disgusted but also amused.


"this isn't strictly come dancing!?"



"low quality acting from talented actors... only in an 'adult' film"

DARKMATTERS RATING SYSTEM (all ratings out of maximum 10 but '-' is bad whereas '+' is good):

Endorphin Stimulation: öööööö (6)
+ A no brainer in every sense of the word

Tasty Action: ööööö (5)
+ Dodgy is the only sort of 'action' on offer here

Gratuitous Babeness: öööööööö (8)
+ Banks is sexy and she has some cute friends too

Mind Blight / Boredom: öööööö (6)
+ Zips along to an unlikely but positive ending

Comedic Value: öööööööö (8)
+ Very funny, but very offensive too

Arbitrary final rating: öööööö (7)
'Hard' to recommend to anyone decent

Liable to make you:
"stay true to the one you love"

DM Poster Quote:
“is that a 'final demand bill' in your pocket?"

Sunday, November 09, 2008

Film Review - Max Payne



Max Payne (15)

Dir. John Moore

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

Max Payne says: “I don’t believe in Heaven, I believe in Pain…”

Video game to big screen adaptations are invariably hit or miss affairs, critics tend to hate them, fans of the game get upset if plot details are changed and even the actors rarely seem to ‘get’ the character they are playing… Having been an avid gamer since the days of Pong and ZX Spectrum, and having played and enjoyed both Max Payne (on PS2) and the follow up (on PC) I was really hoping that the filmmakers and Mark Wahlberg would do Max justice.

The Max Payne games were multiformat cult classic run and gun mysteries that implemented an impressive ‘bullet-time’ slow down (as opposed to frame rate drop) which was completely borrowed from The Matrix but worked so well that it never failed to put a massive grin on my face when I’d kick open a door, and shotgun blast each of the adversaries before they’d even had time to draw their weapons. Oh and there was a dose of Norse mythology fused into the noir detective storyline that made it much more interesting than a simple shoot-em-up.

Twentieth Century Fox picked John Moore (who already has a debt to Satan for making The Omen ’06 so average) to direct the film; he’s a guy who adheres to the ‘style over substance’ school of film making and that is how he tackles Max Payne. The hard-boiled noir look of the film is a stunning achievement – hypnotic hyper-stylised snow swirls in a constant poetic backdrop, the city is a wonderful bleak metropolis a la Sin City and Wahlberg’s constipated frown is a dead ringer for the videogame Payne. Production values are high across the board and even the slightly wacky hallucinogenic visions of Norse Valkyrie demons are rendered effectively. Then there are the babes, sultry but bad ass assassin Mona Sax (Mila Kunis), and a sizzling cameo by new Bond girl Olga Kurylenko who wears a mean red dress (and seems to have a thing for videogame movies as she was in Hitman last year). So far, so good…

But there’s always a downside and here it’s the plot which brings the payne (sorry). The movie is a mish mash mostly ripped straigh from the game and then padded out, remixed and jubbled togther without much care for consistency or dramatic endeavor. We find Max struggling with his guilt and rage over the death of his wife and child at the hands of drug addicted scumbags. Three years he’s been hunting the killer and now an outbreak of grissly murders looks to be linked to his family’s deaths. The join the dots linkages between scenes are liable to insult even the most retarded of teen gamers but at least there’s the tasty gun action right? Sure, there is some and when it eventually kicks off it looks very good – even working in some effective bullet-time moments, but it feels slightly muted and overly sanitised which goes against everything the original games stood for. I can see that the studio wants to make this available to as wider audience as possible (in the US it got a PG13 rating) but when trying to stand alongside similar ‘feel’ movies such as Sin City or The Crow, Payne wimps out. Maybe if the audience had been dosed up with the film’s experimental performance enhancing drug called Valkyr – they might have gotten into it more?

The cast are average at best, Beau Bridges hams up his role of Payne’s former partner like his family will be killed if he in any way manages to look convincing, Chris “Ludacris” Bridges shows that he should stick to rapping as he sleepwalks around looking confused and Chris O’Donnell, Donal Logue, and even Nelly Furtado round off the oddball assmebled ‘talent’.
You know you’re in trouble when two nameless junkies get some of the best lines e.g.:

Junkie 1: Hey man, see that dude with the watch? Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

Junkie 2: He could tell us what time it is?

Junkie 1: No you idiot! We could steal the watch, sell it, and get more drugs!

Junkie 2: That's a brilliant plan! I have a gun!

Junkie 3: Man, what if he has a gun too?

Junkie 1: You idiot, law-abiding citizens aren't allowed to have guns here! How do you think we'd survive if they did?

Junkie 2: Let's go f**k this guy up!

Screenwriter Beau Thorne doesn’t seem to know quite how to bring all elements together effectively, so he sacrifices coherence *cough side kick just happens to turn up and save Payne’s ass twenty stories up in a secure corporate tower? Huh? *cough and hopes that nobody is paying enough attention to notice.



Yes the Max Payne movie is slick and good looking, and is so nearly a great blast of crime mystery peppered with some decent fights but it trips itself up and in the end probably won’t please enough people to warrant a sequel. If you do find yourself buying into this, there’s a tease for a possible follow up after the end credits (but even this is in not in the same league as Iron Man’s Nick Fury post credit introduction).

My biggest problem with the fim version when compared to the game though is that for a climactic showdown, the ‘end boss’ is simply no challenge, whereas anyone who has played the game will attest otherwise!? The usual action movie double standards are writ large when Payne can take a point blank clip of semi-automatic machine gun to the chest whereas the enemy falls to an unsatisfying single round.

If you’re prepared to let a fairly dull plot wash over you whilst you enjoy the visual stylings and occasional flash of action then step right up, otherwise Payne is simply going to be another ‘failed’ videogame adaptation. Perhaps a PS3 Max Payne 3 might redress the balance because it would be a shame for the film to have taken Max to a watery grave…

DARKMATTERS RATING SYSTEM (all ratings out of maximum 10 but '-' is bad whereas '+' is good):

Endorphin Stimulation: öööööö (6)
+ Norse mythos helps a bit

Tasty Action: öööööö (6)
+ The action is cool but very sparse!
Gratuitous Babeness: öööööööö (8)
+ Mona Sax and Olga Kurylenko are suitably hot
Mind Blight / Boredom: öööööö (6)
- Why so slow and ponderous?? WHY???

Comedic Value: ööööö (5)
- limited wise cracking
Arbitrary final rating: öööööö (6)
I'm a sucker for cool stylish noir films but Payne only just passes muster

Liable to make you:
"get a Norse tattoo or go back and play the games again"
DM Poster Quote:
“Bring the Payne!?"

Saturday, November 08, 2008

Film Review - SCAR 3D


Scar 3D (18)

Dir. Jed Weintrob

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

So you’re a hot perky young blonde actress with a winning charismatic smile and no small amount of good looks, what challenge would you want to take on? And more importantly, how do you follow up appearing in the preteen sanitised Hannah Montana TV nerfdom? Try starring in an orgy of 3D torture horror which comes on like a Saw / Hostel / Friday the 13th fusion… That’s exactly the career route that talented young starlet Kirby Bliss Blanton has taken, appearing as all round USA sweet teen girlfriend Olympia in Scar 3D.
Scar also stars horror veteran Angela ‘freaked me out in May’ Bettis, as Joan Burrows, an emotionally and physically scarred wreck who suffered at the hands of a psycho nutjob back in the day (his MO is that he abducts two friends and tortures each in turn until one breaks and tells him to kill their friend)… The villain back then was freaky funeral home director Bishop, but when Joan returns to the town for Olympia’s prom it seems that Bishop is back too and the teen population start to have a very bad time of it.
It’s all very standard slasher guff, even if it is filmed in the fancy new 3D (which does divert attention from how ropey the script and plot is) by giving the audience such sights as topless 3D boobies and ‘quick duck or that spray of blood will splatter all over you’ moments.

"Kirby Bliss Blanton - a hottie to watch (don't hold Scar 3D against her!)"

Is Scar the sickest, most utterly hardcore 3D horror torture on the block? Well, it is but, only because it’s the only one in 3D, otherwise it’s just another wannabe to throw on the ‘don’t bother’ pile…
Scar is certainly unpleasant – I mean who wants to see tongues being chopped out and the soles of feet razor bladed after countless ‘me too’ torture porn flicks have recently gone there? Scar doesn’t do anything much worse or even vaguely ingenious in its macabre machinations, almost as if the screen writers’ only aim was to copy rather than innovate.
So belly button rings get yanked, staple guns get put where they really shouldn’t and scalpels are applied liberally, it really isn’t nice and worse still, it really isn’t very well done…
Sometimes you have to look beyond the obvious razzle dazzle – in this case nubile teens frolicking and then dying in 3D – because it’s a smokescreen to distract from the mediocre offering overall.
"What do you mean I'm not a scary bad guy!?"
DARKMATTERS RATING SYSTEM (all ratings out of maximum 10 but '-' is bad whereas '+' is good):

Endorphin Stimulation: öööö (4)
- Low brow thinking
Tasty Action: öööööö (6)
+ Depends what you're definition of 'tasty' is...
Gratuitous Babeness: öööööööö (8)
+ Kirby Bliss Blanton is seriously cute
Mind Blight / Boredom: ööööö (5)
+ Stupidity of plot and weakness on the fear factor...
Comedic Value: öööö (4)
- Slow and unfunny, torture just isn't fun
Arbitrary final rating: ööööö (5)
For serious gore hounds and novelty horror seekers only…

Liable to make you:
"make a short list of which friends you'd be prepared to get tortured to save"
DM Poster Quote:
“If you're film sucks ass, just add 3D and hope for the best!"

Sunday, November 02, 2008

Film Review - Quantum of Solace



Quantum of Solace (12a)

Dir. Marc Forster

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

Ah Mr Bond… I’ve been expecting you.

If you’ve come looking for a small degree of comfort, which is what ‘Quantum of Solace’ means, then you’ve come to the wrong place.

Heavy duty action is the name of the game this time as Bond blasts back onto the big screen. Licensed to kill the global box office, the smooth British Agent has already set a UK opening day all time record by taking almost £5million (nearly double what Casino Royale opened with in case you were wondering). But is Daniel Craig’s second tour of duty in the swath tuxedo twice as good as his first?

Unfortunately not, new Bond director Marc ‘Finding Neverland’ Forster sticks with the ‘Bourne’ again gritty gadget-less vibe from Casino Royale but seems to have surgically removed any trace of human emotion. Craig does a good grumpy vengeful force of nature Bond who shoots first and asks questions later – when the minimalist script lets him. Still immensely ticked off at the untimely death of his girlfriend Vesper (Eva Green), Bond gets up M’s (Judi Dench) nose but stumbling across a secret powerful criminal organisation and then killing as many of them as he can.

My Bond girl wife wasn’t impressed, stating that it was all just one action scene strung to another and that the overall experience was dull. As a Bond fan, I wouldn’t go that far, but I have to admit that Quantum of Solace does feel soulless. It’s all very action packed, stylish and looks jolly good but the villain of the piece Dominic Greene (Mathieu Amalric) is a bit duff and just not menacing enough.

Quantum of Solace scores point for its cool cars, jet set globe trotting and foxy females (Olga Kurylenko and Gemma Arterton) but a boys own adventure like this shouldn’t leave an audience feeling mostly underwhelmed.

As M says at one point: “I think you're so blinded by inconsolable rage that you don't care who you hurt. When you can't tell your friends from your enemies, it's time to go…” She could well have been talking to the film makers!?

I imagine that Bond will be back to finish off what could make a decent if not classic Bond trilogy story arc but let’s just hope 007 raises his game in the next one.


"Bond - licensed to tickle your back with his nose..."

DARKMATTERS RATING SYSTEM (all ratings out of maximum 10 but '-' is bad whereas '+' is good):

Endorphin Stimulation: ööööööö (7)
+ You might not be shaken or stirred, but it's good enough
Tasty Action: öööööööö (8)
+ Cars, planes, boats, big baddie solar powered bases? yep!
Gratuitous Babeness: öööööööö (8)
+ Olga Kurylenko and Gemma Arterton are babelicious
Mind Blight / Boredom: ööööö (5)
+ The shortest Bond film yet, zips along nicely
Comedic Value: ööööö (5)
+ Very few smirks raised

Arbitrary final rating: öööööö (6)

I'm a fan so willing to lap up Bond action and not worry too much about the plot - you might not be so forgiving!?

Liable to make you:
"Want to shoot the script writers and launch a covert mission to get Bond's gadgets back..."

DM Poster Quote:
“Shoot them all and let God sort them out..."


"Olga Kurylenko - mmmmmmmmm"

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Kirill - what is it?


Stumbled across this interesting logo today - does anyone out there know what it's for?

UPDATE:

Turns out that it's a episodic cool looking drama from MSN (with obligatory Xbox 360 sponsorship in places)...

Check the trailer - what do you reckon?
http://kirill.uk.msn.com/

Friday, October 24, 2008

Are we human? Or are we Dancer?



The Killers are back... but are they Human?

I am a massive fan of The Killers (click here for their site: http://www.thekillersmusic.com/)

And it is with excitement that I anticipate their new album 'Day and Age' which hits next month.

First single 'Human ' is a stomper here's the unofficial youtubetastic rendition (which doesn't have the video):


"My sign is vital. My hands are cold"


My best guess at what their going on about with the 'are we human, or are we dancer?' lyrics is that they must be inspired by the loony / genius Hunter S. Thompson who once wrote about how America was raising "a generation of dancers".


But I could be wrong... Anyway - I managed to bag tickets to their London O2 February 24th show which has made me very very happy!?


As a Christian I am drawn to the line in 'Human' that says "I'm on knees, looking for the answer" - have been there many times... good stuff...



"this is the day and age..."



Previous posts about The Killers:


Killers tour 06


Doesnt look a thing like Jesus

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Tis the Season to be PS3

2008 ends with a PlayStation 3 supernova of entertainment...

Matt PSN name: 'Cleric20' Adcock's top 3 games for this holiday:


3. First choice for saving the world...







"The future of online battles meets the Sci-Fi epic of the year"


Resistance 2 is going to rock so hard, prepare for 60 player online and super slick single player campaign - if you have a pulse and have ever enjoyed shooting stuff... Look no further.


2. First choice for Racing fanatics...





"Nosebleed, eyebleed, adrenalin overdose of racing excitement!"


Motorstorm: Pacific Rift... As a big fan of the original and having played the demo of the new Motorstorm - I can't wait to buckle up and hit the lava, water and dirt of the Pacific Rift Island... There won't be a racing experience to rival this for some time!
"There goes the no claims bonus..."


1. First choice for - EVERYONE...

As the Good Book says - 'Let everything that has breath praise the Lord', and there's a new reason to get your knees and give thanks LITTLE BIG PLANET!






"Anyone who has ever played a game - get excited and prepare to make your own!"

Having been gaming since the days of 'Pong' and the ZX Spectrum, I can honestly say that this Christmas is the most exciting ever thanks to Sony and their PS3. The joy of Little Big Planet is tangible - nothing has come close to the winning combination of creating levels, uploading them, downloading other people's and customising every last detail...


Am currently enjoying the PS3 Beta of 'home' and trying to finish Bioshock and Far Cry 2 before the 'Sony Trinity' of Resistance 2, Motorstorm 2 and Little Big Planet hit. If you're investing in a PS3 this holiday my tips for immediate download are: WipeOut HD, Burnout Paradise, PAIN and Warhawk... I'll see you online...

Final thought: if the PS3 was a woman - I think it might be Amber Heard...

More Amber Heard love here: Hottie

Monday, October 20, 2008

Film Review - Burn After Reading


Burn After Reading (15)

Dir. Joel and Ethan Coen

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

This is a highly classified review. So secret and sensitive is the following material that I advise you to ‘Burn After Reading’ – which may be problematic is reading this online... The report on the Coen brothers' latest cinematic experience crucially indicates the potential full-scale incompetence of non other than the CIA.

The first subject under investigation is CIA analyst Osborne Cox (John Malkovich), who quits his job after being sidelined – once his drinking problem is mentioned. He’s come back to his superior is however is typical of Coen brother sublimeness: “You're a Mormon. Compared to you we all have a drinking problem.”

The second subject is gym worker Linda (Frances McDormand), a lovelorn single who dreams of elective surgery to give her a better chance of finding Mr Right. She and dim co-worker Chad (Brad Pitt), stumble upon Cox’s memoirs on a disc and hatch an ill-fated blackmail scam.

Also in this tangled web is womanising wide boy Harry (George Clooney), who carries a big gun, works for the Treasury Department and is having a sordid affair with Cox's wife Katie (Tilda Swinton).

Things get rapidly out of hand with multiple path crosses, double crosses and much profanity backed up by some genuinely hilarious screwball comedy. This isn’t anything like the awesome gritty thrills of the Coen’s No Country for Old Men, Burn After Reading this is much more like a mix between their genius Big Lebowski and much-maligned Ladykillers. The result is uneven and veers from laugh out loud moments to mild bewilderment but overall it’s a film worth seeing as long as you’re not adverse to sporadic acts of violence.

Everyone in Burn After Reading seems to be having a real hoot putting this together and the sense of madcap fun is infectious. You just can’t help but get caught up in the maverick glee streaming from the screen – never more so than when CIA superiors (David Rasche and J.K. Simmons) try to make sense of what is being reported back to them about the whole muddled affair.

Which is summed up:

“So what did we learn from this?”

“Um... I don't know.”

“Report back to me when it makes sense!”



DARKMATTERS RATING SYSTEM (all ratings out of maximum 10 but '-' is bad whereas '+' is good):

Endorphin Stimulation: ööööööö (7)
+ Muddled plot takes a bit of keeping up with

Tasty Action: öööööö (6)
+ Some but only sparodic action

Gratuitous Babeness: ööööö (5)
+ Nothing to get steamed up about here

Mind Blight / Boredom: ööööö (5)
+ Screwballs bouncing left and right, try to keep up!

Comedic Value: öööööööö (8)
+ Some classic funnies in here and Pitt is hilarious

Arbitrary final rating: ööööööö (7)
Decent but not classic Coen comedy

Liable to make you:
"join a gym rather than the CIA"

DM Poster Quote:
“what just happened?"

End note:
Fans of Coen brothers comedies won’t have too long to wait for their next hit as A Serious Man, which will be a black comedy about a professor named Larry whose life unravels when his wife prepares to leave him.

Saturday, October 18, 2008

RockandRolla - US Pals have swag to blag...


"r u a rock-n-rolla?"

Want so bling ROCKNROLLA free stuff?

Live in the US?

Check this cool comp: spout.com

Read the Darkmatters review of what was one of the best gangsta flicks this year:
Film review rocknrolla

Give it a click!!

Sunday, October 12, 2008

Film Review - The House Bunny



The House Bunny (12a)

Dir. Fred Wolf

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

Here’s the year’s contender for ‘most gratuitous but joyous overuse of hot pants in a movie.’ The House Bunny is pretty much a retread of many US college comedies from Animal House to Mean Girls – just with added scantily clad Playboy dumb-blondeness. It’s a one-joke flick that seems to give the message that in order to succeed in life as a woman, all you need to do is be sexy and show a lot of skin.
So we have hot Playboy playmate Shelley (Anna ‘all four Scary Movies’ Faris) whose ambition in life extends only to be a centrefold in the infamous magazine. But her kit off dream is rudely taken from her when after turning 27 (which they say is 59 in ‘Bunny Years’) she is forced to vacate Hef's sexpot mansion. Homeless and clueless in equal measure – Shelley is reluctantly taken in by a desperate bunch of nerdy college misfit females who face eviction from their sorority house for not being able to recruit enough ‘pledges’. Can the Bunnygirl sex up the minging weirdos of Zeta House who include the actually cute but made to look rough Natalie (Emma ‘Superbad’ Stone) and man hating Mona (Kat ‘Charlie Bartlett’ Dennings)? Also in the party of unfortunately socially challenged college girls are full body brace wearing Joanne (Rumer ‘daughter of Bruce’ Willis) and pregnant Harmony (American Idol contestant Katherine McPhee who gets to ruin the end credits with a rubbish song).

"which look do you prefer?"

Faris shows a genuine talent for good natured comedy, delivering semi risqué material with an innocent Goldie Hawn vibe backed up by a killer Farrah Fawcett like figure which gets shot from every conceivable angle in eye watering close up. Along the predictable path to saving the day, Shelley also has time to try and woo old folks home manager Oliver (Colin ‘yes my dad is Tom’ Hanks). Then of course in true Revenge of the Nerds style there is the nasty middle class rival house fronted by a preppie sweater-wearing bitch.
But is The House Bunny for you? That depends entirely on your tolerance for sweet-natured sexiness, women in skimpy outfits and dippy college comedy bonding, complete with pratfalls and the occasional actually rather wry observation. It’s mostly a stupid, vapid, sexist money-spinner but try as I might to find serious fault with this, I found it hard and came out smiling having been amused.


"the House Bunnies take to the street..."

DARKMATTERS RATING SYSTEM (all ratings out of maximum 10 but '-' is bad whereas '+' is good):

Endorphin Stimulation: ööööö (5)
+ No braincells were hurt in the making of this movie

Tasty Action: öööö (4)
+ Not a great deal here

Gratuitous Babeness: ööööööööö (9)
+ Wow, fit bunny fun ahoy...

Mind Blight / Boredom: ööööö (5)
+ Blonde and dim but watchable

Comedic Value: ööööööö (7)
+ Should make you laugh out loud a couple of times

Arbitrary final rating: öööööö (6)
Far better than you might expect

Liable to make you:
"appreciate Playboy Bunnies as humans with feelings...

- just kidding LOL"

DM Poster Quote:
“vapid bunny hot pant frenzy"

Thursday, October 09, 2008

Sci Fi Babes are back... Heroes vs Terminator

Sci Fi has never looked so good

So as Heroes Season 3 hits the UK and Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles follows shortly... the question everyone needs to ask themselves is - which babe would you choose?

Exhibit A: Claire Bennet...

"also known as Hayden Panettiere"

In the third season of Heroes - Claire is found by Sylar, who may or may not be her uncle. He cuts open her skull and examines her brain. This allows him take her ability to regenerate; however, a side effect is that she loses the ability to feel physical pain.

"she's one cheerleader worth saving!"

or

Exhibit B: Cameron Phillips...
"she looks cute but she could kick your butt"

Cameron Phillips (Summer Glau) is a former Skynet Infiltrator, class T-OK715, from the apocalyptic future of 2027, reprogrammed by Tech-Com leader John Connor.


"here's one we made earlier... just not quite finished"

Cameron's programming enables her to mimic human emotions and behaviours but she's also programmed with the knowledge of martial arts and other hand-to-hand combats. She has an affection to art and music such as Chopin's Nocturne in C-sharp minor and ballet. Cameron is programmed to protect John Connor at all costs...

VOTE NOW:

Claire or Cameron

More about Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles

Some bonus Hayden Panettiere...


How about a third option - AMBER HEARD??

Tweet this...