Darkmatters Review: Grimsby

Grimsby (15)

Dir. Louis Leterrier

Reviewed by Matt Adcock (@Cleric20)

When the world is threatened by an evil plot, can MI6's top agent Sebastian Butcher (Mark ‘Kingsman’ Strong) find a way to save us? It’s a big ask, especially as he’s in an emotionally vulnerable state after a reunion with his long lost brother Carl ‘Nobby’ Butcher (Sacha Baron Cohen).

"unlikely team"

These Butcher brothers are made of stern stuff, they hail from Grimsby after all. Meet big hearted and foul mouthed Nobby, an unlikely working class hero. Part football yob, part idiot benefit cheat with 9 children (named Django Unchained, Skeletor etc) – is this the man who can help his brother foil a attempt to assassinate leading humanitarian Rhonda George (Penelope Cruz)? With Sebastian’s cover blown and only his faithful handler Jodie (Isla Fisher) willing to help, he doesn’t have a choice.

Director Louis ‘The Transporter’ Leterrier changes up the ‘usual’ Sacha Cohen tom foolery by injecting some balls out (in every sense of the words) action scenes, up there with Mission Impossible et al. Strong is erm, strong in the super spy role whilst Cohen is brings his cutting satire comedy lens to bear on broken Britain – putting the ‘grim’ in Grimsby.

"Northern family"

Get ready then for a seriously bad-taste-em-up action comedy that will offend as much as it amuses, get your adrenalin pumping and leave you laughing (even if hating yourself for it). Cohen just doesn’t have a PC filter and here the biggest laughs are crafted from seriously gross out scenes – the elephant orgy alone is liable to burn itself into your mind forever.

There is a cleverness at work behind the scenes though - making cutting social points such as when Nobby gets into a shootout and tells Sebastian “I understand why you love guns so much now…It completely detaches you from the guilt of your actions.”

"Gun nut"

Some of the targets work better than others, Donald Trump makes this feel very ‘of the moment’ whilst quite what Daniel Radcliffe has done to deserve such treatment we can only wonder at. There are a ton of fun cameos that include Rebel ‘Pitch Perfect’ Wilson as Nobby’s Northern Mrs - Lindsey, Gabourey ‘Precious’ Sidibe as Banu the Cleaner and Ricky Tomlinson as Paedo Pete.

Not everything works – the jokes about AIDS and wheelchair bound children are hardly fitting as mass crowd-pleasers but Cohen’s horrible gift is in getting you laughing along despite yourself and thus losing the right claim moral high ground.

Out of a potential 5 you have to go with a Darkmatters:

ööö

(3 - Heavy duty laughs - that will dirty you up)

Awesomeness ööö – Outrage(ous) set pieces a go go

Laughs öööö – You want funny, be careful what you wish for

Horror ööö – Gross out!

Spiritual Enlightenment ö - none

Darkmatters Review: Triple 9

Triple 9 (15)

Dir. John Hillcoat

Reviewed by Matt Adcock (@Cleric20)

“There’s no limit to what desperate men will do when pushed.”

Step this way for a stylishly hard boiled action-crime-drama directed by John ‘Lawless’ Hillcoat that comes on like Heat meets True Detective. This tasty heist-em-up follows a group of dirty cops who find themselves in the line of fire when crossing paths with the Russian mob.

Meet idealistic rookie cop Chris Allen (Casey ‘Interstellar’ Affleck), who gets assigned to work with streetwise detective Marcus Atwood (Anthony ‘Captain America’ Mackie). Trouble is Atwood is part of a bank robbing crew with leader Terrel Tompkins (Chiwetel ‘The Martian’ Ejiofor), foot soldier Russel Welch (Norman ‘The Walking Dead’ Reedus) and his brother / lose cannon Gabe Welch (Aaron ‘Breaking Bad’ Paul).

"red team move in..."

The plot rips along at a frantic pace, the initial heist and freeway shootout is a tight, nail biting affair. But before you can say ‘there’s no honour among thieves’ the pressure begins to tear the crew apart. Things go from bad to worse when Kate Winslet’s nasty mob boss demands a seemingly impossible ‘one more job’ from the gang or else they will all be executed.

So with limited options Tomkins devises a plan to have Allen killed to trigger a ‘triple nine / officer down’ in order to create a diversion which they can use to attempt the heist. From then on all bets are off as to who, if anyone, will survive – especially with Woody Harrelson in the mix as a dangerous investigator who tells his team to “out-monster the monsters.” Easier said than done when Allen and Atwood find a row of severed heads lined up on a car bonnet – the monsters here are not nice.

"why detective, what big teeth you have..."

Triple 9 is a taut action-thriller which deals in serious violence, greed, betrayal and quotable banter. Drug dealers, strippers and gun totting gang-bangers, ensure that this is a super seedy trawl through the underbelly of city on high alert. The cast is superb and their sterling work elevates this above your average cop flick.

Winslet is an absolute revelation as the psychotic mob boss and her acidic chemistry steals every scene she’s in. New Wonder Woman Gal Gadot is on hand too as the love interest / potential kidnap leverage, but the male leads have their work cut out to match Winslet as this is her film.

"America's got talent?"

Highly recommended for crime action fans – Triple 9 is more ‘End of Watch’ than ‘Ride Along’ so come prepared for some heavy duty, hard hitting thrills.

Out of a potential 5 you have to go with a Darkmatters:

öööö

(4 - Not black or white - just exciting shades of violent grey)

Awesomeness öööö – quality crime thrills

Laughs öö – Occasionally funny

Horror ööö – Some nasty violence

Spiritual Enlightenment ö - not much alas

Darkmatters Review: Deadpool

Deadpool (15)

Dir. Tim Miller

Reviewed by Matt Adcock (@Cleric20)

“You're probably thinking ‘This is a superhero movie, but that guy in the suit just turned that other guy into a kebab.’
Surprise, this is a different kind of superhero story.”

Another superhero origin story? I know right. But this one dear reader is a little different, a bit of a spicier cocktail of seriously non-PC jaw dropping violence, laugh-out-loud profane funnies and ironic pop-culture zeitgeist that bleeds cool from every frame.

"forceful negotiations"

Deadpool has already had a brief burst of big screen action in 2009’s X-Men Origins: Wolverine – but here the former Special Forces operative turned ‘Merc with a Mouth’ is the antihero star.

Meet Wade Wilson (Ryan ‘Van Wilder: Party Liaison’ Reynolds), just your average bad-ass mercenary for hire who falls for Vanessa (Morena ‘Firefly’ Baccarin) – possibly the only woman who’d match his seriously ‘wrong’ sense of humour.

When Wade gets terminal cancer he is offered a chance by a shady organisation who promise to not only cure him but give him super powers. Things aren’t quite what they seem though, leaving him horribly disfigured, incredibly angry and packing self-regenerating abilities to go along with his enhanced fighting skills.

"Negasonic"

With bloody vengeance on his mind Deadpool takes on an insanely violent one-man crusade to bring down his tormentors and try to win back the love of his life. Main bad guy of the piece is ‘British Villain’ Ajax (Ed ‘Kill Your Friends’ Skrein) who also has mutant powers and may hold the only hope for Wilson to get his face back.

The huge death count and swathe of destruction that Deadpool wreaks draws the attention of the X-Men who send metal skinned Colossus (Stefan Kapicic) and atomic powered Negasonic Teenage Warhead (Brianna Hildebrand) to try and intervene. There are two other people in Deadpool’s life – mostly for comic effect – long suffering taxi driver Dopinder (Karen Soni) and his blind housemate called erm, Blind Al (Leslie Uggams).

You don’t need to worry about the plot – it’s better to just sit back and let the awesome OTT sensory assault wash over you. The action is crunching and makes great use of CGI, especially moments of super slow-mo such as a highway ambush (the infamous ‘leaked footage’ fans loved so much it led to the film getting made)…

"Clobberin time"

If easily offended Deadpool is liable to freak you out completely so proceed with caution but for comic book fans looking for a fresh, exciting total blast of super powered thrills, this is the best subversive joy ride since Kick Ass.

Out of a potential 5 you have to go with a Darkmatters:

öööö1/2

(4.5 - Smart Ass kicks Ass in fine style)

Awesomeness öööö – tasty action and motormouth fun

Laughs öööö – Very funny

Horror ööö – Some heavy duty comic book violence

Spiritual Enlightenment ö - limited

Darkmatters Review: Risen

Risen (12a)

Dir. Kevin Reynolds

Reviewed by Matt Adcock (@Cleric20)

Read the newspaper version of this review at: The Hemel Gazette

“What frightens you?”
“Being wrong... Wagering eternity on him.”

Welcome to one of the biggest and most speculated about events in history. It’s 33 A.D. - a key date for the biblical narrative as it was when Jesus / Yeshua (played here with huge amounts of charisma by Cliff ‘Fear The Walking Dead’ Curtis) was crucified and buried. Yes, Risen is the latest bible-em-up reworking of the resurrection, overlapping and following on from the events in Mel Gibson’s The Passion of The Christ.

"The 'King of the Jews' dying with thieves"

The difference this time is that Director and co-writer Kevin ‘Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves’ Reynolds retells the events through the eyes of a non-believing Roman Centurion named Clavius (Joseph ‘Shakespeare In Love’ Fiennes).

As religious fervour threatens to ignite civil unrest across Judea in the wake of the disappearance of Jesus’s body, the Roman Prefect, Pontius Pilate (Peter ‘Spooks’ Firth) orders an inquiry into what exactly happened. The religious leaders and Pharisees claim that the body had been stolen by Christ’s followers, the soldiers tasked with guarding the tomb go into hiding fearing for their lives and the rumours of a resurrection start to spread.

"I never liked you in Harry Potter"

Risen (although possibly the biggest spoiler title for a movie ever) starts off effectively setting the scene with Clavius and his men caught up in a bloody skirmish with Jewish renegades. As the events of the first Easter Weekend unfold, turmoil and uncertainty run rampant through the city and it’s well portrayed – and avoids falling into the ‘Life of Brian’ style farce.

Fiennes is good as the hard bitten Clavius and his journey is compelling as he gets to lead, along with his ambitious aide Lucius (Tom ‘Harry Potter’ Felton), the manhunt for Yeshua’s body.

As a Christian who reviews films, I’m often massively let down by the attempts to bring scripture or overtly ‘pro-faith’ stories to the medium of film. I really don’t want to be ‘preached at’ any more than the next cinema goer. The fact that Risen actually works as a historical thriller for much of its running time before eventually getting a bit carried away with the ‘it must be true’ narrative is to the credit of the filmmakers. It’s kind of like an ancient times alternative to a Dan Brown novel.

"First hand account"

OK so there is very little screen time for women here, Mary Magdalene (María ‘Mad Dogs’ Botto) isn’t given much to do although being one of the core witnesses in the bible account. There is no Pilate's wife either and Mary - Mother of Jesus has a blink and you’ll miss it contribution.

But seeing as the ‘did Jesus rise from the dead?’ question is one that continues to be asked 2,000 years later, Risen is a thought provoking option for cinema audiences to mull over this Easter.

Out of a potential 5 you have to go with a Darkmatters:

ööö

(3 - a historically changed, biblical thriller...)

Awesomeness ööö – The opening battle is a highlight

Laughs ö – Limited mirth here

Horror ööö – Stronger violence than expected

Spiritual Enlightenment öööö - will make you think


Risen opens in the UK on 18 March.

Damaris Media are working with Sony Pictures to produce a free in-depth set of resources for churches and their leaders. Find out more at: www.risen.damarismedia.com 

Darkmatters Review: Dad's Army

Dad’s Army (PG)

Dir. Oliver Parker

Reviewed by Matt Adcock (@Cleric20)

“Who do you think you are kidding Mr Hitler?”

Come back to 1944, just as World War II is reaching its climax. With the Allies poised to invade France - the heroes of Walmington-on-Sea’s ‘Home Guard’ might prove to be the unlikeliest of key strategic elements in the military campaign…

"reporting for duty"

Dad’s Army is a reverent big screen reworking / homage of the much loved BBC tea time sitcom. I count myself a fan of the original owing to much watching of it back in the days when there were only 3 TV channels and we couldn’t record or watch on demand.

Plot wise we find that morale amongst the Home Guard led by bungling Captain Mainwaring (Toby ‘The Hunger Games’ Jones) is at a low ebb. His shambolic unit of generable old duffers, a naïve teen and an opportunistic chancer include: Sergeant Wilson (Bill ‘Love Actually’ Nighy), Lance Corporal Jones (Tom Courtenay) and Privates Frazer (Bill Paterson), Walker (Daniel Mays), Pike (Blake ‘The Inbetweeners’ Harrison) and Godfrey (Michael Gambon).

"tactical genius"

This fantastic British cast are just excellent in recreating the classic roles – and there is much fun to had watching their bumbling antics. The men find themselves are struggling with the double whammy of being the focus of a feature by foxy journalist Rose Winters (Catherine Zeta-Jones) for The Lady magazine and at the same time ordered to track down a German spy operating in the area.

Also on hand in this modern version are the lesser seen ladies of Walmington led by the industrious Mrs Mainwaring (Felicity Montagu). This essential support network of other halves and love interests may be more use than all men put together.

"secret weapon?"

There are a couple of nice cameos by original cast members including Pike (Ian Lavender) who pops up as a brigadier and Frank Williams who reprises his role as the local vicar.

Don’t be expecting huge Saving Private Ryan battle scenes, although there is a small scale skirmish at the climax, this is very much a gentler and quintessentially British kind of war film.

The funnies are mostly of the slapstick tomfoolery and inept soldiering cringe factor, backed up by the catchphrases from the original. There’s real wartime enjoyment on offer here and the characters themselves certainly make this worth seeing – sure - it’s not a classic movie but for fans of the TV series this is a mission accomplished.

Out of a potential 5 you have to go with a Darkmatters:

ööö

(3 - Don't Panic, stupid boy...)

Awesomeness ööö – No stick is left unslapped

Laughs ööö – Good amounts of genial mirth

Horror ö – Not grim

Spiritual Enlightenment öö - the Dunkirk Spirit writ large

Darkmatters Review: 13 Hours: The Secret Soldiers of Benghazi

13 Hours: The Secret Soldiers of Benghazi (15)

Dir. Michael Bay

Reviewed by Matt Adcock (@Cleric20)

Read the newspaper version of this review: The Luton News

“You can't put a price on being able to live with yourself.”

September 11, 2012 saw a bloodthirsty attack on the American diplomatic outpost in Benghazi, Libya which led to many political recriminations as to why the U.S. left their people in harms way with no air support or relief.

"There goes the neighbourhood"

13 Hours: The Secret Soldiers of Benghazi is a meaningfully high-brow, tender piece of big screen investigative journalism – just kidding – this is Michael ‘Transformers’ Bay and he’s here to blow a lot of stuff up and shout ‘God Bless America’ at the audience as loudly as possible!

We get to witness the full ferocity of the night when a six-man American security detail tried to fight off hundreds of Islamic militants —it plays out much like Ridley Scott’s Black Hawk Down, which was also based on real events of U.S. forces outnumbered by impossible odds.. Bay however ups the gung ho, macho factor to ‘maximum’ and peppers the the narrative with the yanks saying things like 'we’re doing the right thing' (which is apparently wiping out hundreds of nasty locals).

"Beards - not optional"

It all looks good, thanks in large part to stylish cinematography of Dion ‘Edge of Tomorrow’ Beebe, and is certainly exciting when the battle kicks off – but there is a deeply ingrained feeling that this is a propaganda-em-up rather than a balanced account of a truly desperate situation.

The cast go about their heavy weapon business with aplomb. Back stories for the likes of lead character Jack Da Silva (John ‘Jim from the U.S. Office’ Krasinski) and his fellow Navy SEAL pal Tyrone ‘Rone’ Woods (James ‘Iron Man 3’ Badge Dale) are just quick clichéd sketches. More time is devoted to the copious amounts of less memorable Top Gun-lite man banter between the team in the build up to the ‘action’.

"incoming..."

Throw into the mix an obstinate outpost commander (David ‘Breaking Bad’ Costabile) who resents having the security team around – but who is also reluctant to let them try to save the visiting U.S. Ambassador Chris Stevens (Matt Letscher) when his compound comes under attack.

As the carnage eventually ramps up Bay gets a bit carried away with jump cutting between surveillance drone footage, close up shock and awe mussel flashes and shots of the Americans either panicking (the CIA staff) or being heroically stoic (the security operatives).

In the end 13 Hours feels like the slightly retarded offspring of American Sniper – for gun action enthusiasts only…

"look out for the aliens behind you!?"

Out of a potential 5 you have to go with a Darkmatters:

öö1/2

(2.5 - A slightly retarded offspring of American Sniper)

Awesomeness ööö – Gunfight adrenalin writ large

Laughs ö – Limited mirth

Horror ööö – Nasty battle wounds a go go

Spiritual Enlightenment öö - Honour at what cost?

Darkmatters Review: The Big Short

The Big Short (15)

Dir. Adam McKay

Reviewed by Matt Adcock (@Cleric20)

“We live in an era of fraud in America. Not just in banking, but in government, education, religion, food. Even baseball...”

When the words ‘corruption’ and ‘banking’ became synonymous during the world-wide financial crisis of 2008, millions of people’s lives were completely wrecked, but not everyone’s. Adam ‘Anchorman’ McKay’s The Big Short takes us inside the true story of how a few men foresaw the crash and managed to actually make money from the situation.

And while witnessing the callous, greed driven nightmare that took people’s homes and livelihoods from them will make you potentially want to punch the next banker you meet, this is ‘must see’ filmmaking.

"feel the love"

Meet Michael Burry (Christian ‘The Dark Knight’ Bale), a maverick ex-physician who runs a hedge fund. He is the first to spot that the US housing market’s foundations are built on a volatile bubble that looks like it will burst. So convinced is he about this doomsday scenario that Burry places a huge bet (known as a short) against the housing market with the banks – who are more than happy to take this ‘crazy’ bet against something that just never happens.

Meanwhile market trader Jared Vennett (Ryan ‘Drive’ Gosling) gets wind of what Burry is doing and looks to also cash in. Then a wrong number phone call tips off another small team of fund managers led by Mark Baum (Steve ‘Foxcatcher’ Carell) and the final bunch to the party are young investors Charlie Geller (John Magaro) and Jamie Shipley (Finn WIttrock). Theses two have a secret weapon in the form of retired master banker Ben Rickert (Brad Pitt) who agrees to help them.

"Jedi banking master?"

This rag tag bunch of outsiders are thought to be crying wolf but as the crisis escalates, well, it’s not a spoiler because we know what went down, they actually make serious money when everybody else was losing big time. Burry’s fund sees 489% profits on their gamble!?

OK enough plot, The Big Short does a good job of making the hard to comprehend world of subprime loans, collateralized debt obligations and AAA credit ratings into a darkly comic thrill ride. There are some genius 4th wall breaking moments of handy explanation from the celebrity likes of starlet Margot Robbie (in a bubble bath), top chef Anthony Bourdain (with some fish) and pop star Selena Gomes with business guru Richard Thaler – which really help you keep up with key details.

"listen carefully the lady in the tub as she explains sub prime loans"

The Big Short is a superb film that blows the lid off a very painful real life topic. The cast are fantastic, making what could have been a hard slog of a tale bounce along with energy and believable humanity.

If this had been a fictional account you might have said it was too far fetched to believe but the fact that it happened and we’re still feeling the financial fallout from it is absolutely terrifying.

"Aint that a kicker"

Out of a potential 5 you have to go with a Darkmatters:

öööö

(4 - Sky-Fell: attack of the bankers)

Awesomeness öööö – Truth can be as terrifying as any fiction

Laughs öööö – Very funny in places but painful too

Horror ö – Only the swears and the tension to upset here

Spiritual Enlightenment öö - Is money the root of all evil?

"Get the batmobile"

Darkmatters Review: The Revenant

The Revenant

Dir. Alejandro G. Iñárritu

Reviewed by Matt Adcock (@Cleric20)

“As long as you can still grab a breath, you fight. You breathe... keep breathing.”

Revenant: a person who has returned, especially supposedly from the dead… which makes the title of this epically brutal ‘survive-em-up’ spot on.

The ‘revenant’ in question here is Hugh Glass (Leonardo Di Caprio on surely Oscar winning at last form) – a real life frontiersman and fur trapper in the 1800’s who underwent an incredible wilderness ordeal to try and find revenge.

"it's snow joke out there..."

Strap in then for a seriously perilous thrill ride of survival, where the extraordinary power of the human spirit is writ large in breathtaking cinematic style. Glass’s experiences of the uncharted American wilderness are certainly not for the faint of heart. Brief highlights include a brutal bear attack, beatings, being shot at with arrows and guns, freezing conditions and surviving on no provisions, plus being left for dead by his own friends. Broken limbs, life threatening injuries and a hunting party of bloodthirsty natives tracking him, Glass’ s quest for survival is the very definition of ‘against the odds’.

"where are my marmalade sandwiches?"

The bear who mauls Glass is a work of cinematic genius, terrifying and brilliantly realised – this is the best on screen bear since, erm, Paddington… Although anyone looking for a Paddington sequel here will be severely traumatised!?

Villain of the piece is back-stabbing scumbag John Fitzgerald (Tom Hardy also on good form) whose betrayal of Glass sets up the main plot. The sheer force of will that sees Glass battling enemies, the elements and physical ailments in order to exact bloody vengeance is a glimpse into the dark motivations that lie under the civilised surface of man. This is a decent man who chooses a terrible course of action in order to exact a form of justice and find inner redemption. In the process he burns up his soul with the astonishing physical torment he has to endure.

"better times"

Director Iñárritu brings jaw-dropping cinematic spectacle to this snowy tale, the scenery is liable to transfix you with wondrous shots of forests and mountains which wouldn’t look out of place in a gallery.

The Revenant packs a compelling story, aided by a top notch cast. The two leads are ably supported by Domhnall ‘Star Wars: The Force Awakens’ Gleeson and Will ‘Maze Runner’ Poulter in particular.

This is a movie that will make you appreciate your nice warm home and safe existence just a little more. Highly recommended!

Out of a potential 5 you have to go with a Darkmatters:

öööö1/2

(4.5 - Survive Hard: with a vengeance)

Awesomeness öööö – Like the most brutal ever episode of 'I'm a Celebrity: Get Me Out Of Here)

Laughs öö – Not a comedy but some black humour

Horror öööö – Very grim

Spiritual Enlightenment öö - What drives you?

Darkmatters Review: The Hateful Eight

The Hateful Eight (18)

Dir. Quentin Tarantino

Reviewed by Matt Adcock @Cleric20


“Oh, you believe in Jesus now, huh? Good, 'cause you 'bout to meet him!”


The 8th film by Quentin Tarantino takes us back to post Civil War America where we join a stagecoach cutting through a wintry Wyoming landscape en route to the town of Red Rock – and a date with justice.

"strangers approach"

Legendary bounty hunter John ‘The Hangman’ Ruth (Kurt Russell) is taking his captured fugitive Daisy Domergue (Jennifer Jason Leigh) to hang for her crimes. But it won’t be easy. Faced with a blizzard and encounters with a rival bounty hunter Major Marquis Warren (Samuel L Jackson) and Chris Mannix (Walton Goggins), who claims to be Red Rock's new sheriff, the coach party decide to hole up in Minnie’s Haberdashery.

What happens next is a delicious pressure cooker of guilt, suspicion and bluff – which builds up to a horrifically violent climax… Playing out like a western homage to Agatha Christie’s And Then There Were None – The Hateful Eight is a compulsive mystery delivered with Tarantino’s over-the-top theatrical flair.

"the 'hat-full' eight?"

The ‘hateful’ suspects are a bunch of scoundrels who along with Ruth, Domergue, Warren and Mannix include General Smithers (Bruce Dern), Hangman Oswaldo Mobray (Tim Roth), Cowboy Joe Gage (Michael Madsen) and Seńor Bob (Demian Bichir). At least one of them could be lying and have murderous intent.

Who will survive and will any of them see justice? There is much profanity laden fun to be had finding out, as with all of Tarantino’s work, this is not for the faint of heart, easily offended or for anyone squeamish.

With a running time to rival some TV mini series and all the action taking place in only a couple of locations The Hateful Eight could have been an exercise in tedious, self-referential dialogue heavy boredom. But thanks the who-can-you trust suspicion backed up by some excellent performances, what we have is a riveting thrill ride and a step up from the fun but disjointed Django Unchained (Darkmatters Review).

"It's not just the cold that kills"

Jackson makes for a great flawed hero of sorts but Kurt Russell is the stand out here – packing an incredible moustache and some righteous authority, even if they are only slightly less reprehensible – you could say eight shades of criminal grey - than the vermin who they mix with. I feel obliged to point out the Kurt Russell plus snow = The Thing homage connection too!?

The Hateful Eight will make you laugh, squirm and possibly look away in disgust, these are some ‘reservoir cowboys’ worth hanging out with.

Out of a potential 5 you have to go with a Darkmatters:

öööö1/2

(4.5 - No one to trust. Everyone to hate - but it's great fun!)

Awesomeness öööö – Crackling dialogue and crunching violence

Laughs ööö – Really funny in places

Horror öööö – Nasty to the point of horror in places

Spiritual Enlightenment öö - trust is hard to win

"dead by dawn?"

Darkmatters Review: JOY

Joy (12a)

Dir. David O. Russell

Reviewed by Matt Adcock @Cleric20

Read the newspaper version of this review: The Hemel Gazette

“Listen to me. I’ll tell you what’s gonna come of you. You are going to grow up
and be a strong smart young woman…”

2016 kicks off with the incredible, life-affirming ‘based on true events’ tale of Joy Mangano (Jennifer Lawrence) – inventor of the first self-wringing mop... You might not think a film that revolves around the creation of the ‘Miracle Mop’ would be the stuff of nail-biting tension, heartbreaking loss, intense emotion and searing against all odds determination, but you’d be wrong.

"Not Silver Linings"

Director David ‘American Hustle’ O. Russell has a real knack of getting some of the very best performances from Lawrence and she is on absolutely jaw-dropping form again here. It wouldn’t surprise me if their combo works for a repeat Oscar nod – as they did with Silver Linings Playbook. Joy’s life is anything but like her name though. Divorced and trying to bring up her two young children whilst also helping her ill grandmother (who lives in one of the downstairs rooms). Joy has money problems and little support from her bitchy half sister Peggy (Elisabeth Röhm) and father Rudy (Robert De Niro) who has anger issues – there is never a dull moment in her miserable life.

"who wants some?"

Despite all the odds being stacked against her, Joy takes life by the scruff of the neck and ventures into the cut throat world of enterprise. Armed only with her creativity, good heart and unrelenting drive to succeed she faces challenge after challenge in trying to make it.

Thanks to her ex-husband setting up a meeting for her, Joy’s path crosses with slick Neil Walker (a highly charismatic turn by Bradley Cooper), who runs the newly establish QVC channel and could provide a real chance for her mop based commercial aspirations. But success does not come easy for Joy and viewers are put through an emotional wringer as trials and tribulations pepper this rollercoaster of a tale.

"Independent woman"

Joy is powerful inspiration for anyone looking to succeed – she’s a bold woman, a heroine for the modern age who battles for herself without relying on a prince charming in an empowering and most non-Disney way. It’s refreshing to see a film that can grip you so hard without having any real physical threat or violence.

This is fine film making which shows just how big a drama life is, be it in business or socially. Joy will leave you stimulated and inspired to face whatever the year might throw at you – and very likely feeling the titular emotion too. Recommended!

Out of a potential 5 you have to go with a Darkmatters:

öööö

(4 - Choose Joy!)

Awesomeness öööö – Edge of your seat is a fun place to be

Laughs öö – Some amusement but not a comedy

Horror öö – Very tense but not too grim

Spiritual Enlightenment öööö - Never give up!

The CultureSlap Awards for 2015

CultureSlap is the twisted alternative take on the world of entertainment...

Part man (Tom Wade @ThinkWade) Part machine - enjoy!!

Top ten lists are great (READ the Darkmatters Top Ten Films of 2015) - but hard to do. What really qualifies a film being number 3 and not number 4, what if I’ve seen a film more than once - did that mean I liked it more? What happens when someone loves a particular film so much that they just ignore all of its flaws and stick it at in the top 3 anyway (Kingsman…)?

Well with that in mind, I decided that this year it’d be easier just to throw some random awards around to celebrate the Good, the Bad and the Entourage…

Best new potential film franchise:

John Wick (Darkmatters review)

Who’d have thought that a film called ‘John Wick’ would have ended up being so good? And who would have thought that Keanu Reeves can still kick butt in 2015? Now if only Keanu could make a John Wick sequel where he goes back in time and beats himself up before he agrees to make the Matrix sequels.

Worst new potential film franchise:

Fantastic Four (Darkmatters review)

Poor Fox. They keep trying. They keep failing. Any film that the director publicly denounces on its day of release is going to have problems (and led to Trank loosing his Star Wars job as well). Hopefully one day we’ll find out exactly what happened… But hey - here’s to the next attempt at Fantastic 4 in 2020!

Best new film that isn’t a reboot:

The Martian (Darkmatters Review)

Made from an excellent book - this combined a witty script and a fantastic central performance from Matt Damon to create an engaging and exciting ride.

Worst attempt at a reboot:

Terminator Genisys (Darkmatters Review)

Another Terminator reboot/sequel/prequel/alternative universe… Another failed attempt at giving the franchise new blood. After the first ten minutes everything is pure drivel.

Best new sequel/reboot

Tied between: Mad Max (Darkmatters review)

and Star Wars: The Force Awakens (Darkmatters review)

Who actually expected Mad Max to be one of (if not the best) the films of the year? An adrenaline filled chase that is like putting red bull directly into your brain (if red bull didn’t taste like cat piss). Star Wars similarly had so much that could go wrong with it and the crushing expectations of (if box office results are to be believed) 99% of the planet. Thankfully it managed to meet and even exceed most of what fans has demanded of it.

Best Vin Diesel film that will never get to 8 instalments:

The Last Witch Hunter

Cool wig though.

Best Vin Diesel film that will get to an 8th instalment:

Fast and the Furious 7

If you sit and think about the Fast and the Furious, it does become hard to separate each film out into their own instalments. It think the most recent one had cars jumping out of planes and Vin Diesel trying to find a sat nav to help him find the person who is already trying to find him. Or something.

Best 3 films you saw that nobody else probably has:

The Lobster

Funny, odd - but not so odd that it removes you from the central idea of humans being turned into animals if they are single - The Lobster is well worth a watch. Ideally with someone who is currently single and depressed about it.

The Forbidden Room

Any film that has vampire bananas in it deserved more widespread acclaim than this film got.

Hard to be a God.

An astronaut visits a mirror planet to earth that (sadly) doesn’t feature Apes, but instead is stuck in the Dark Ages. It’s brutal. Pretty, pretty brutal.

Best Horror film:

It Follows (Darkmatters review)

The sort of film that as soon as you hear the concept, you go ‘why has no one ever done this before?!’ A film that lives with you long after the credits role, it’s creepy and it may just put you off sex for an hour or too.

Best animated film:

Inside Out (Darkmatters review)

This may also be the best film of the year. Pure, unadulterated brilliance from start to finish.

Most intense film:

Sicario (Darkmatters review)

You’ll never look at a traffic jam in the same way ever again.

Biggest surprise film

The Gift 

Where did this film come from? A pleasant surprise and a throwback to old skool suspense and twist and turns. Happy face.

Best Sci-Fi film

Ex Machina (Darkmatters review)

I know you could put Star Wars here, but it’s worth mentioning Ex Machina as a tense (essentially a 3 character piece), suspense filled piece that covers the idea of AI Singularity better than any other film that I can remember.

Harshest reviewed film:

Tomorrowland (Darkmatters review)

For some reason everyone wanted to take their turns in pooping on this film. I don’t know why. It’s actually pretty fun - and it features the least annoying child actor this year.

Best Comedy:

Trainwreck

Funny, insightful, brutal and honest. It made everyone stand up and take notice of Amy Schumer, and it’s probably the least annoying Judd Apatow film.

Biggest film that made lots of money that isn’t very good on a second watch:

Jurassic World (Darkmatters review)

Seriously - go watch it again. It’s not as good on a smaller screen - plus the characterisation is as detailed as an Ikea instruction sheet.

Biggest Disappointment:

Avengers 2: Age of Ultron (Darkmatters review)

Not a bad film by any means. But the fact that this ended up just being ‘another film’ means that Whedon and co. didn’t quite manage to find the same magic as before. It also seemed to suffer under the weight of needing to launch a whole new set of films - the whole thing ended up feeling a bit like a trailer for the next Phase. Here’s hoping that Whedon can go away and do a few more personal projects now.

Biggest hype that everyone immediately forgot about a month later:

50 Shades of Grey (Darkmatters review)

Does anyone even remember everyone getting so excited/shocked/bored by this? At least we have a few more to go.

Best Superhero TV shows

Daredevil - the one to watch with someone who doesn’t normally like ‘superhero’ things.

Jessica Jones - the one to watch with someone who likes brutal slow burners.

The Flash - the one to watch with someone who likes comic books. Great fun.

GAMES>>>

Read Matt Adcock's top 5 games of 2015 over at the awesome PushSquare