Darkmatters Review: Ghost In The Shell

Ghost In The Shell (15)

Dir. Rupert Sanders

Reviewed by Matt Adcock (@Cleric20)

“We cling to memories as if they define us, but they don't. What we do is what defines us.”

In the near future, Major Motoko Kusanagi (Scarlett ‘Avengers’ Johansson) is the first of her kind – a cyber-enhanced human mind housed in an automaton weapon system ‘shell’.

Designed to be the perfect counter-terrorist weapon, Major is tasked with taking down the world's most dangerous criminals as part of Section 9, backed up by humans – many of whom also have some augmented cybernetic enhancements. She’s good at her job too – able to cloak in invisibility and kill without mercy.

"we can rebuild her..."

Major is, however, experiencing hallucinations or glitches in her reality – are they somehow related to her human past before she was ‘saved’ and put into her Robocop-esque body? Bothered by how little she remembers about her past and exposed to possible malware after diving into a hacked robot – it becomes clear that things aren’t quite what they seem.

This film is based on the internationally acclaimed Japanese Manga, "The Ghost in the Shell” and director Rupert ‘Snow White and the Huntsman’ Sanders brings the fantastical Blade Runner-alike world to vibrant life. There are some jaw-dropping visuals on display backed up with some kick-ass action set pieces. Ironically though, despite the best efforts of Johansson, "Beat" Takeshi Kitano (as her boss) and Pilou Asbæk as Batou, her partner in Section 9 – the film fails to really feel like it has a soul within its impressive machine tooled body.

"it's in the eyes"

There is much to enjoy though and for sheer style over substance Ghost In The Shell is a triumph of future gazing, creating a world that looks scarily possible soon. The concept of uploading human consciousness is one that has been explored in many sci-fi films and is surely a holy grail that science is grappling with behind closed doors.

Much has been made of the change in making the character of Major be played by a white actress rather than an Asian one, but within the huge budget multi-cultural landscape Johansson throws her all into the part and delivers an iconic performance.

"she means business"

Alas baddie Kuze (Michael Pitt), a cyber-terrorist who might know more about Major’s past then she thinks, doesn’t command sufficient threat and the neatly tied up plot feels a little lite-weight.

Ghost In The Shell is for sci-fi fans – switch off brain, sit back and prepare to be dazzled.

Out of a potential 5, you have to go with a Darkmatters:

ööö

(3 -A visual but hollow feast)

Awesomeness öööö – Stylish and cool, exciting and brilliant

Laughs öö –  Ltd mirth

Horror ööö – Violence gets grim at points

Spiritual Enlightenment ööö - Souls are worth fighting for...

Darkmatters Review: Their Finest

Their Finest (12a)

Dir. Lone Scherfig

Reviewed by Gail Adcock (@nonblondie37)

The trailer for 'Their Finest' might suggests a cosy, rose-tinted cinematic experience - one that when the DVD is released will sit neatly alongside last year's new version of Dad's Army. However for all it's pretty Devonshire countryside scenes, the promo truly doesn't do justice to the immaculately crafted and beautiful gem of a movie this is. Adapted from Lissa Evans’s novel, ‘Their Finest Hour and a Half’ and directed by Lone ‘An Education’ Sherfig with an eye for capturing the individual and collective experiences with warmth, humour and an eye for detail.

The film tells the story of copy writer Catrin Cole, who is scriptwriting alongside Tom Buckley (Sam Clafin) on the creation of a propaganda film about the evacuation of Allied troops from Dunkirk, France, 1940. It powerfully conveys the horror of the blitz, the daily striving to maintain normal every day life in the midst of great threat and harrowing events. Via a clever 'film-within-a-film' plot device, the movie slips effortlessly, with the propaganda film neatly mirroring the unfolding shifts in the lives and events of the real-life writers, actors and war staff.

"she's giving him the look"

The performances are great with Gemma Arterton asserting her presence in every scene, bringing warmth, a quiet determination and courage to her role as Catrin. Bill Nighy, predictably perhaps, steals the majority of the comedic moments as the vain Ambrose Hilliard, an actor past the peak of his career, desperate to shore up his fame for as long as possible on the strength of a much earlier role as Inspector Carnforth.

A recurring theme highlights the role of women during these war years and the inherent sexism encountered on a regular basis. 'Their Finest' recognises the vital contribution made to the war effort by millions of women. At numerous points the question is posed - will the women be willing to go 'back in their boxes' once the war is over and it's abundantly clear they have absolutely no intention of doing so. Through opting to tell this story from the perspective of Cole, an oft missed dimension to the world war movie narrative is reclaimed and given a new lease of life.

"shady goings on"

On completion of a draft script for the propaganda film Buckley comments to Cole that it's too long, saying "Lose half", "Which half?" she asks "The half that you don't need" is his answer - thankfully the script for 'Their Finest' kept the very best bits. It's is a pleasure to behold, melding heart and substance, delivering a mighty fine hour or two of superb comedy drama packed full of charm.

Darkmatters Review: Free Fire

Free Fire (15)

Dir. Ben Wheatley

Reviewed by Matt Adcock (@Cleric20)

“We’d like to leave with our money, and I’m sure that you boys would like to leave with the weapons.”

From the twisted mind of Ben ‘High-Rise’ Wheatley comes a new action comedy thriller set in 1970s Boston. Featuring one of the longest and most intense fire-fights ever to grace the screen, Free Fire is a kind of British Reservoir Dogs, packing quips and character shifts along with death and carnage.

tooled up

Meet wanna gangster hardmen Bernie (Enzo ‘Guardians of the Galaxy Cilenti) and Stevo (Sam ‘Pride & Prejudice & Zombies’ Riley). Worse the wear from the night before, Stevo especially isn’t on top form but they are on duty for Frank (Michael ‘Black Mirror’ Smiley) and Chris (Cillian ‘Batman Begins’ Murphy) who are buying weapons for the unnamed Irish terrorist cause.

On the other side of the deal are the dangerous Ord (Armie ‘Nocturnal Animals’ Hammer) and Arms Dealer Vernon (Sharlto ‘District 9’ Copley) along with their thugs.

With itchy trigger fingers on both sides, distrust, unexpected prior bad blood between some of the muscle and some party crashers – things get very tense, very quickly.

Caught in the middle is Justine (Brie ‘Kong: Skull Island’ Larson) who actually brokered the meeting in a nicely deserted warehouse for the two groups. Who can be trusted and who will survive when the bullets start to fly is anyone’s guess.

a rose amoungst bullets

The warehouse itself is shot with all sorts of interesting lighting and the cinematography is dialed up to max with jump cuts that actually work rather than confusing the viewer about who is shooting who. The soundtrack is ace too both in terms of crackling gunfire and cool ‘70s music.

Free Fire is an absolute riot of gunplay, banter and double-crossing fun. The full-on shootout is magnificently handled with all characters getting moments to shine and the frantic action will live long in the memory. The carnage is broken up by lighthearted moments which add to the experience, like when one of gang shouts “I’ve forgotten which side I’m on” mid fight.

fight for your right to party

Wheatley is a superb director, it wouldn’t be unfair to call him a British Tarantino – Free Fire is another quality output and feels like the work of a filmmaker who is at the top of their game.

For a pure cinematic adrenalin rush of violence and fun, Free Fire hits the target, delivering a feel good flip on a classic crime tale.

Out of a potential 5, you have to go with a Darkmatters:

öööö

(4 - Shoot-em-ups don't come much better)

Awesomeness öööö – Stylish and cool, exciting and brilliant

Laughs ööö –  Lots of cracking quips

Horror ööö – Death and disfigurement a go go

Spiritual Enlightenment ööö - The law of the gun...

Dakrmatters Review: Life

Life (15)

Dir. Daniel Espinosa

Reviewed by Matt Adcock (@Cleric20)

“Calvin's trying to find a way through the airlocks!”

The ISS

In space no-one can here you say ‘this is a bit of radical reboot of the Eddie Murphy / Martin Lawrence comedy of the same name…’ But that’s because this a new ‘Life’, a gloop-em-up sci-fi horror thriller detailing mankind’s first contact with an alien lifeform rather than a prison farce.

We get to join the crew aboard the International Space Station (ISS) as they managed to dock with a space probe returning from Mars. On board the capsule is ‘Calvin’ – a microbe which is the first proof of extra-terrestrial life – does the little alien come in peace? Hhhmmm – not so much…

Is this Venom?

The alien organism (superbly brought to life with cutting edge CGI) is like nothing humans have ever encountered before – having the capacity to be ‘muscle, brain and eye’ all at the same time. Oh, and it’s not a spoiler for anyone who has seen the trailer to let you know that it isn’t very friendly either.

This might sound a little like Ridley Scott’s Alien just not so far in the future – and it is - so you’ll know what to expect. The beastie grows and gets hostile – the crew panic and realise they are trapped aboard the ISS with a rapidly-growing threat, which they really don’t want to let get to earth.

It's a scream

Speaking of the crew, they are a likeable bunch made up of: Dr. David Jordan (Jake ‘Nocturnal Animals’ Gyllenhaal), Dr. Miranda North (Rebecca ‘Girl on the Train’ Ferguson), Hugh Derry (Ariyon Bakare), Sho Kendo (Hiroyuki ‘Sunshine’ Sanada), Katerina Golovkina (Olga Dihovichnaya) and Rory Adams (Ryan ‘Deadpool’ Reynolds).

Cue lots of running, screaming and dying with at least one really unforgettable death and a decent array of scares along for the ride. Director Daniel ‘Safe House’ Espinosa has crafted an exciting space survival flick that might not be very original but certainly delivers on the sci-fi thrills. Be warned though that my wife is still unsettled by the sheer intensity of the horrible bits!?

Deadpool in space...

If this is a parallel to the classic ‘Alien’, I’d be excited to see a follow up ‘Aliens’ equivalent where we try and take the fight to these lifeforms, although the potential Alien vs Life vs Predator might not be the way forward.

Fans of sci-fi should sign up immediately for this adventure, it’s a full-throttle nail biting thrill ride which delivers a frightfully fun night out.

Out of a potential 5, you have to go with a Darkmatters:

ööö1/2

(3.5 - Gripping space survival)

Awesomeness öööö – Strong tension and survive-em-up thrills

Laughs öö – A few funnies to begin with (Thanks Ryan)

Horror öööö – Gets grim and gloopy

Spiritual Enlightenment ööö - God's creatures aren't all nice...

Darkmatters Review: Get Out

Get Out (15)

Dir. Jordan Peele

Reviewed by Matt Adcock (@Cleric20)

 “Fair skin was in favour for the last couple of thousand years. Now the pendulum has swung back. Black is in fashion!?”

Get ready for Get Out, the first great comic horror thriller of 2017 – a startlingly vibrant and shocking cinematic opus to racial divides which doesn’t skimp on pure terror.

"look into my eyes"

Meet Chris (Daniel ‘Sicario’ Kaluuya) a young guy in love. He goes to meet the parents of his girlfriend, Rose (Allison ‘Girls’ Williams), despite being nervous that they might not welcome him due to his being black and Rose white. She assures him that all will be well because her dad, Dean (Bradley ‘The Cabin In The Woods’ Whitford), ‘would have voted for Obama for a third term if he could have’…

What she fails to mention is that her family actually have some very unusual and upsetting views on race relations. Chris it seems will get to experience these family values first hand after Rose’s mother Missy (Catherine ‘Being John Malkovich’ Keener) hypnotizes him in order to help him stop smoking. Don’t worry too much about the plot, this is a film that builds up slowly with a tangible sense of voodoo menace which ratchets up the tension until it finally all explodes in bloody violence.

"happy families?"

With Get Out, first time director Jordan Peele, creates a quality addition to the horror genre – one that is both a biting social satire and a freaky shock fest which pays off big time by the climax. In this age of Trump when the threat of white supremacist mindsets is suddenly a horribly relevant again, Get Out sneakily tears down racist ideals and has lots of fun in the process. Peele’s debut really marks him out as a director to watch.

The audience I caught this with were screaming one moment and cheering the next, this is a film that is worth catching on a big screen as witnessing and being part of the communal suspense build up throughout is a lot of fun.

"it's a scream"

All the cast go about the grisly business with conviction, Chris’s friend Officer Rod Williams (Lil Rel Howery) brings welcome comic relief as a TSA (Transportation Security Administration) agent, whilst Rose's creepy brother (Caleb Landry Jones) is all barely restrained hatred.

Highly recommended viewing - Get Out is a film destined to be a cult classic and one that you’ll be discussing long after the credits roll.

Out of a potential 5, you have to go with a Darkmatters:

öööö

(4 - Excellent horror comic thrills)

Awesomeness öööö – Quality filmmaking shines through

Laughs ööö – Tension releases throughout

Horror öööö – Very gruesome at points

Spiritual Enlightenment ööö - All men are created equal?

Darkmatters Review: Kong Skull Island

Kong: Skull Island (12a)

Dir. Jordan Vogt-Roberts

Reviewed by Matt Adcock (@Cleric20)

“This planet doesn't belong to us. Ancient species owned this earth long before mankind. I spent 30 years trying to prove the truth: monsters exist…”

The one true king of the monsters is back – bigger and better than ever. Kong: Skull Island is an atmospheric apocalyptic romp that knocks the monkey business out of Peter Jackson’s 2005 effort (Darkmatters Review).

"Easy does it"

Director Jordan Vogt-Roberts bring Skull Island to full living breathing cinematic life and from the impressive opening manages to keep the action rocking along without short-changing any of the characters. The humans range from Samuel L. Jackson’s hard war-bitten Packard who vows to take Kong down, through to Brie Larson’s plucky photo-journalist Mason Weaver who wins the huge ape’s heart – these are characters worth spending time with and ones that we get to care about. Which makes it tough in places because Skull Island is a place of death so maybe don’t get too attached to anyone…

"That's a serious monkey"

Tom ‘High-Rise’ Hiddleston stands out as adventurer Conrad (and not just for his British accent), John ’10 Cloverfield Lane’ Goodman gives good value as scientist Bill Randa but it’s John C Reilly who brings some welcome comic relief and savvy observations – having been stuck on the island for 30+ years…

"This is where you RUN"

Then there’s the monsters and boy, this is where Kong: Skull Island really shines. Upping the ick and gore factor to a pleasing degree (probably pushing the limits of a 12a rating), the various humans – especially the soldiers accompanying the expedition get taken out in all sorts of grisly ways. The CGI menagerie includes mutant tree topping spiders, limb tearing pterodactyls and monstrous water buffalos but it’s the skull crawlers who are the main danger. Part lizard, part alien, part skull – all threat - they are the stuff of nightmares and when Kong fights them it's a monster battle royale that makes even the Kong vs Tyrannosaurs fights of yore look weak.

"and death came with them"

This is Kong’s film though and he’s superbly realised – massive and heroic in a way that we haven’t seen him before, the scene where he first encounters the helicopters invading his home is one of the best action sequences ever committed to film.

Many critics have been sniffy about Vogt-Roberts’ new take on Kong but for me, this is the daddy of all monster movies. Pure hairy excitement, lavishly and stylishly shot, backed with a killer ‘70s soundtrack – this is a super fun monkey-em-up that will leave you grinning and demands a sequel!

"Girl power"

Out of a potential 5, you have to go with a Darkmatters:

öööö

(4 - Kong-gratulations the King is BACK!!)

Awesomeness ööööö – Monster sized set pieces

Laughs ööö – Some funnies

Horror ööö – Bit grim in places

Spiritual Enlightenment ööö - Monkey Gods have love of humans..?

Darkmatters Review: Logan

Logan (15)

Dir. James Mangold

Reviewed by Matt Adcock (@Cleric20)

“Nature made me a freak. Man made me a weapon. And God made it last too long.”

The angry claw-handed Wolverine is back for one possibly final epic big screen outing, older, more damaged and suffering from his lifetime of violence. We’ve come a long way since Hugh Jackman made the role his own seventeen years ago and yet Logan manages to be the best, most brutal and altogether most meaningful X-Men movie to date.

"Road trips"

In the near future mutants are an endangered species. All that’s left of the mighty X-Men are Patrick Stewart’s Charles Xavier who at 90 is finding his super brain succumbing to degenerative disease and classified as a weapon of mass destruction. Logan is a broken mutant himself, addicted to liquor and drugs just to get by. He and Stephen Merchant’s waning Caliban are trying to protect Professor X from the nefarious military authorities who are hunting them.

"Anger issues"

Logan is a poignant glimpse into what happens when heroic mutants are aged and jaded. With their powers waning and their world view tainted – these final X-remenants come across a young new mutant Laura, also known as ‘X23’ (a star-making turn from upcoming young Dafne Keen) who brings a world of trouble to their lives.

Director James ‘Knight & Day’ Mangold manages to slip his 12a rating limitations which have made him previously neuter the inherent violence that the character of Wolverine is all about. Logan however is a hard 15 with seriously grim violence, adult themes and mucho swearing – so if you’re thinking of checking this, you need to be prepared.

"Part man, part C3PO"

The bad guys of the piece are headed up by nasty mechanically handed Donald Pierce (Boyd ‘Gone Girl’ Holbrook) who works for evil Dr Rice (Richard E. ‘Hudson Hawk’ Grant). They want Laura ‘off the board’ as she’s escaped from a new mutant experiment programme – but they’ll have to go through Logan to get to her.

Cue some of the best super action you’ll ever witness. The sight of kinda father / daughter Wolverine and X23 taking on an army of gun packing baddies together is the stuff comic book fans have only dreamt of up until now. Laura is the most lethal big screen 11-year-old since Kick Ass’s Hit Girl and she acts up a storm, reminiscent of young Natalie Portman in Leon. Patrick Stewart is excellent too but Jackman is just incredible and this is his best performance as Wolverine.

"Let the right mutant in"

Not your average super-movie, Logan is a fantastic conclusion to the Wolverine trilogy and makes every other X-Men movie look weak in comparison.

Out of a potential 5, you have to go with a Darkmatters:

ööööö

(5 - The Wolverine is finally boss...)

Awesomeness ööööö – This is X-rated action fun

Laughs öö –  Not a bag of laughs

Horror öööö – Heavy duty violence

Spiritual Enlightenment ööö - Some kind of family values

Darkmatters Review: A Cure For Wellness

A Cure For Wellness (18)

Dir. Gore Verbinski

Reviewed by Matt Adcock (@Cleric20)

“Do you know what the cure for the human condition is? Disease...”

With a name like ‘Gore’ it’s little wonder that Director Gore ‘Pirates of the Caribbean 1-3’ Verbinski decided to go back to the horror genre (although some would say that his take on ‘The Lone Ranger’ was pretty grim). Anyway, here we have A Cure For Wellness, which sees corporate weasel Lockhart (Dane ‘Chronicle’ DeHan) sent to try and find out what’s up with his company's CEO, Roland Pembroke (Harry ‘Road To Perdition’ Groener) – because he’s holed himself up in an idyllic but mysterious "wellness centre" in the Alps and left a note that he’s not coming back – which is an issue as there’s a big deal which needs his signature.

lovely sinister camerawork

So, the scene is set and from then on A Cure For Wellness and there follows a tense, brooding and increasingly creepy build up as young Lockhart travels to the centre and finds much more than he bargained for… The spa is run by Dr. Volmer (Jason ‘Fury’ Isaacs) who recommends Lockhart try some of their unique therapies while he recovers from an accident. The problem is that the small print on these treatments would read something like “liable to induce unhinged nightmarish visions – mostly ripped off from other horror films”…

You really should floss

From this point A Cure For Wellness becomes a slow burn of freakish and disturbing elements that will make you squirm, scream and cringe. Whilst at the centre Lockhart meets a strange young girl named Hannah (the excellently name Mia Goth), who, like Dr. Volmer, takes the ‘cure’ – a weird serum only available at the spa.

Things get even more insane when it transpires there’s a horrible history to the castle the wellness centre is built on but enough of the plot – what you need to know is that this is an incredibly stylish, beautifully shot, living breathing nightmare writ large.

X-men training? 

It’s fair to say that A Cure For Wellness not so much ‘tips the hat’ at horror directors like Stanley Kubrick and John Carpenter as head-butts them in the face and makes off with some of their best bits… Verbinski doesn’t seem to know when to quit either letting the film run on for over two and half hours packed with some seriously 18 rated material which is liable to test those easily offended.

floats like a butterfly...

Not for the faint of heart, the Dr. will see you now...

Out of a potential 5, you have to go with a Darkmatters:

öööö

(4 - An effectively lurid, dark fable of freakiness)...

Awesomeness öööö – Gore creates some memorably classic creepy scenes

Laughs öö –  Occasional dark humour

Horror ööööö – Strong horror, violence and disturbing sexual assault

Spiritual Enlightenment -öö - Hard to find much positive energy here

Darkmatters Review: John Wick 2

John Wick Chapter 2 (15)

Dir. Chad Stahelski

Reviewed by Matt Adcock (@Cleric20)

Read the newspaper version of this review: The Leamington Courier

“The man. The myth. The legend. John Wick. You're not very good at retiring.”

Jaded ‘best in the business’ hitman John Wick (Keanu Reeves) is back, still angry, still looking to retire but this time he’s brought back into the violent world of assassinations due to an unpaid debt.

Director of the first movie, Chad Stahelski returns with a sequel that delivers exactly what fans will appreciate – slick visuals, deeper background lore and kick ass action on a whole new scale. John Wick Chapter 2 is a pure adrenaline rush of hyper violence, it’s not healthy, has dubious morals but it is undeniably exciting.

"My Wick would like a quiet word with you"

This time it’s bad guy Santino D’Antonio (Riccardo ‘Burnt’ Scamarcio), who challenges Wick to take out his sister Gianna (Claudia ‘The Passion of the Christ’ Gerini) and when he says ‘take out’ it’s not on a date. Knowing the Wick wants to retire, D’antonio, rather than kill his dog, motivates John by burning down his house!? Cue mayhem and death, lots of death, most of which is delivered by Wick in his graceful gun-fu fighting style which turns killing into a kind of art form.

Reeves even at 52 is completely believable as Wick and he makes this role a cool on screen icon to rival Neo from The Matrix. Speaking of The Matrix it’s fun to have a mini reunion with Morpheus himself, Laurence Fishburne who plays shady Crime Lord - The Bowery King who Wick turns to for assistance.

" These are not your friends"

With a comic book meets video game plot structure Joh Wick Chapter 2 piles on the action clichés but does so with so much style and energy that unless you really hate action movies you’ll be dragged along in a state of breathless anticipation for the next fight.

The underworld mythos of this murder-em-up is certainly fascinating and allows for potentially more Wick adventures in the future. Chapter 2 is a long film though and because it rarely lets up on the action it can leave you dazed and confused from the visual beating administered to your eyeballs.

Certainly not for everyone, and packing scenes that are liable to offend (can you really have a shoot out in a nightclub these days without uncomfortable real world news flashbacks?), this is an old school action movie redressed in cutting edge neo-noir style. These violent delights have violent ends as they say…

Out of a potential 5 you have to go with a Darkmatters:

öööö

(4 - I'm thinking he's back, in style)...

Awesomeness öööö – Nobody dispatches bad guys quite like Wick

Laughs ööö – Wry smiles to be had between the carnage

Horror öööö – Quite nasty comic book violence

Spiritual Enlightenment ööö - Payback isn't good for the soul

Read the Darkmatters original John Wick review

Darkmatters Review: Fifty Shades Darker

Fifty Shades Darker (18)

Dir. James Foley

Reviewed by Matt Adcock (@Cleric20)

“I want to renegotiate terms… “

So, unfortunately, the world’s favourite perv-em-up is back for mediocre second helpings of big screen sadistic flavoured relationship distortion. The billionaire with sex issues Christian Grey (acting like a plank again Jamie ‘Marie Antoinette’ Dornan) is still pursuing Anastasia Steele (the much too good for this tripe Dakota ‘Black Mass’ Johnson).

"foreplay"

The flimsy plot which is contractually obligated to pauses about every 10 mins for a bonk session sees Ana trying to move on from her relationship with Grey but he convinces her to resume their romance under new conditions. Alas their new more ‘normal’ relationship is soon threatened by characters from Grey’s past and Ana’s present.

If anything, this sequel is so poor that it makes the original look quite good in comparison (Darkmatters Review here) – Director James ‘Who’s That Girl’ Foley somehow manages to make the film unsexy despite the copious amounts of sex in it.

"I'm Batman"

Along for the unsavoury and cringe-worthy ride are Eric Johnson as Ana’s dodgy boss / wanna be boyfriend, Rita Ora as Mia Grey, Christian’s adopted younger sister and the mysterious Elena Lincoln, Grey’s business partner and former BDSM lover (Kim ‘9 1/2 Weeks’ Basinger). Then there’s Leila Williams (Bella ‘The Neon Demon’ Heathcote) - once one of Grey’s ‘submissives’ – who starts stalking Ana.

Quite why Ana is so drawn to the wrong un Grey - a messed-up character, certainly not a hero to be emulated – brings the dangerous message that apparently women should be prepared to put up with deviant abuse and sexual power games if the bloke has money and looks. Can you imagine how this film would play if Grey was a homeless obese redneck - it would feel much more like a horror film.

"a brief moment of excitement"

Fifty Shades Darker is worryingly still trying to normalise the disturbing notion of sadistic relationships aren’t all that bad. Having said that there’s not actually much excessive kinkiness on display and the pot boiling drama efforts would be embarrassing for a daytime TV Soap.

Based on merit, Fifty Shades Darker wouldn’t even make it as a direct to video release, the fact it’s part of a worldwide phenomenon is a tragic indictment on our cinematic tastes. Alas there’s still another one to come in this awful trilogy…

"Forgot my trousers again..."

Out of a potential 5 you have to go with a Darkmatters:

ö1/2

(1.5 - More slap than tickle)...

Awesomeness öö – Occasional interesting scene

Laughs öö – Limited mirth, unless you count the unintentional stuff

Horror öööö – It's not fun or OK to be in an abusive relationship

Spiritual Enlightenment -öööö - Glossing over issues will end in tears

Darkmatters Review: The Lego Batman Movie

The Lego Batman Movie (U)

Dir. Chris McKay

Reviewed by Matt Adcock (@Cleric20)

“I have seen you go through similar phases in 2016 and 2012 and 2008 and 2005 and 1997 and 1995 and 1992 and 1989 and that weird one in 1966.”

Everything is super awesome in this Bat-fun spin-off from the superb Lego Movie. Batman in his loveable Lego guise (gruffly voiced by Will Arnet) rises to the call when the Gotham is threatened by The Joker (Zach Galifianakis) and possibly the most terrifying all-star group of baddies and monsters ever assembled. But this time it’s possible that Batman – who always works alone - will need accept the idea of getting backup and not from his usual Justice League pals.

"Flashback"

Also on Batman / Bruce Wayne’s mind is having to deal with becoming the adoptive father to Dick Grayson / Robin (Michael Cera), thinking through his relationship with his mentor Alfred (Ralph Fiennes) and working out his possible romantic feelings for new Gotham Commissioner Barbara Gordon (Rosario Dawson). And feelings are Batman’s one weakness…

"Boy Wonder"

The Lego Batman Movie is a hyperactive blast of feel-good superhero adventure which is totally meta and packed with a ton of quick fire Easter egg cultural references that will have anyone with even a passing interest in super-em-up films grinning from start to finish. Whenever the action lulls there are brilliant cameos from other movies and TV including King Kong, Voldemort, Sauron and even the Daleks (who the narrator tells US audiences to ask their ‘nerdy friends’ if they don’t recognize them).

"Emotions"

This might just be the most merchandisable film ever too – as you can pretty much buy every single vehicle, character and setting in all their Lego glory and play the virtual incarnation on your Playstation too.

The Lego Batman Movie is exactly what we need to put 2017 on track – providing a brilliantly irreverent comedy that feels like a kind of Deadpool junior (the opening credits themselves are some of the best ever). Bat fans everywhere are well served with classic characters, Batsuits and pop culture references but newcomers and for those too young to have witnessed The Dark Knight on the big screen this is likely to be an addictive gateway drug.

"You'll want this..."

A Bat-blast of fantastically fun big screen super action – The Lego Batman Movie is a triumph and hopefully a wake up call for those making the live action batflicks. Don’t deny yourself this undiluted endorphin rush, everything is awesome (again).

Out of a potential 5 you have to go with a Darkmatters:

öööö1/2

(4.5 - Batman is awesome)...

Awesomeness öööö – So many incredible scenes

Laughs ööööö – Very very funny

Horror öö – Mild peril and comic book violence

Spiritual Enlightenment ööö - Feelings aren't to be feared

Darkmatters Review: Resident Evil - The Final Chapter

Resident Evil: The Final Chapter (15)

Dir. Paul W.S. Anderson

Reviewed by Matt Adcock (@Cleric20)

Read the newspaper version of this review: The Observer

“We're here today to talk about our destiny. We're here to talk about the end of the world. One way or another, our world is coming to an end. The question is, will we end with it?”


Ah Resident Evil – we’ve come so far… With 5 films in the bag and over a billion dollars in the bank as a result, it looks like we might have come to the end of this action-over-substance videogame series.

"is this the end?"

Resident Evil: The Final Chapter (although if this makes more cash I wouldn’t rule out them making more of these) picks up the end of the world carnage immediately after the events of 2012’s Resident Evil: Retribution. Alice (Milla Jovovich) is back as the only survivor of what was meant to be humanity's final stand against the undead. This time she must return to where the nightmare began - The Hive in Raccoon City, where the Umbrella Corporation is gathering its forces for a final strike against the only remaining survivors of the apocalypse – because they are even more intent on destroying the planet than any new presidents in the real world.

"suicide squad 2?"

Cue an hour and half of flashy images, frantic zombie battling action and scenes basically inspired by (I say inspired by but I mean ripped off) from a host of other films including Mad Max. All of it lacks any real sense of a narrative or anything you’d struggle to call a plot. The Final Chapter is basically the closest films have come to actually being a video game – just one you can’t play. It feels like the longest ever between level ‘cut scene’, like someone on their Playstation but never letting you have a go.

"level up"

Resident Evil: The Final Chapter, does try to bring at least a little closure to those who have been paying to see this series since it kicked off 15 year ago but it fails to be the thrilling conclusion it obviously wants to be. The reason for this is that it is edited in such a confusing, jump cut, jumble that even scenes which could have been iconic, lose some of their currency due to the fact that you can’t always tell what’s going on.

"Mad Max 5?"

I have the same feeling with every single film ever made by Paul W.S. Anderson – I want to like it more than I actually do when I see it.  This is the guy who as well as the Resident Evil series has made Alien vs Predator, Solider, Shopping, Death Race and erm Pompeii – yet the only film he’s made that I’d be keen to watch again is his space horror Event Horizon.

"who's a pretty boy?"

So here we have the evil Umbrella Corporation using their infected zombie army, enhanced soldiers and a variety of ‘Boss – end of level’ bad guys to try and wipe out the last of humanity. Jovovich as rebellion heroine Alice is our last chance and fortunately, she might just be bad ass enough to pull it off. Whether you care or not is very much in the balance however…

Out of a potential 5 you have to go with a Darkmatters:

öö

(2 - Of interest to those who have endured the other 5 films)...

Awesomeness ööö – Occasional 'oooh' factor but most lost in the edit

Laughs öö – Unintentionally funny in places

Horror ööö – A bit grim throughout with lots of gory violence

Spiritual Enlightenment öö - Saving mankind is almost worth fighting for