Sunday, June 04, 2006
Film Review: The Omen 2006
"heed the signs..."
The Omen (15)
Dir. John Moore
Reviewed by Matt Adcock
You must listen to me: I have seen and measured the signs; I know what is to come, yes it is even is amongst us already… We must be living in the ‘end of days’ if portents like this can occur. Hark how it was foretold that a great evil would arise. It will cause people to become mad, it will be a blasphemy upon the land and most of all it will probably make a lot of money thanks to the efforts of some truly dastardly marketing people. Yes, I speak of course about The Omen (2006) which spewed forth into cinemas on this Tuesday the sixth of June – 06.06.06 no less.
So those who have understanding – answer me this: What do you get if you cross a jackal, the devil, a big Hollywood budget and a little kid who can’t act? No, stand in the corner if you said “a big screen version of the X Factor”, the answer is a flashy but dim remake of the 1976 devil child thriller The Omen.
The new money making excuse / retelling is far more glossy and devilishly slick than the original but also faithful to it’s source material. This time Liev Schreiber and Julia Stiles do their best as the little Antichrist’s adopted American parents – the Thorns. Director John ‘Behind Enemy Lines’ Moore unsurprisingly ups the loud ‘what’s that goat headed creature in the mirror?’ jump moments whilst ticking off all the main plot points. See little Damien create more chaos in a zoo then even Harry Potter managed, wonder at the ever over used use of red imagery and ponder the meaning of the major world events (9/11, Hurricane Katrina etc) shoehorned in as sure ‘signs’ that the end is coming.
Wicked young Damien is played with a blank lack of emotion throughout by Seamus Davey-Fitzpatrick and doesn’t bring any chill to the screen. Brit thespians including David Thewlis, Pete Postlethwaite, and Michael Gambon rally to the cause but are really just fodder to be executed in horrific computer enhanced gory deaths. You’ll wince at the graphic decapitations and lightning rod impalings - if you’re still awake. Mia ‘Rosemary's Baby’ Farrow even pops up as the obligatory devil-worshipping nanny but it’s generally more ho hum than you’d expect.
Actually I heard that the devil has already called his agent demanding a better role in the inevitable Damian:Omen 2 remake…
Darkmatters rating system (out of 5):
Action ööö – Plodding but there in places
Laughs öö – More unintentional than planned
Horror ööö – The devil should be able to chill more than this!
Babes öö – Julia Stiles, you would / Mia Farrow, you wouldn't
Overall öö1/2 (Not terrible but not terribly good either)
"those satanic rose petals will get you in the end..."
Darkmatters: H O M E
Posted by Matt Adcock at 8:56 am