DARKMATTERS - The Mind of Matt

You met me at a very strange time in my life...

Sunday, September 10, 2006

Film Review: BEERFEST


"standing ovation for the Swedish team?"

Beerfest (15)
Dir. Jay Chandrasekhar

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

There is a secret underground contest where highly skilled teams compete at the highest level for glory, honour and national pride. I have learned that the contest is held each year in Germany and is referred to simply as ‘Beerfest’. Thanks to some intensive undercover drinking activities I have been granted access to this clandestine world where danger and buxom wenches go hand in hand and life is cheap, but not as cheap as the drinks.

I’m prepared to now risk everything by going public about this ‘Beerfest’, please pay heed to what I say as many Bothan spies died to bring you this information (they just can’t hold their drinks apparently)…

I got to celebrate notching up 300 film reviews for this esteemed title by spending almost two hours witnessing some of the least inspired gross-out humour ever to slop over the screen. Better men than I would have shirked the task but I just downed a beer, stocked up on popcorn and faced the challenge.

Beerfest opens with a severe warning / disclaimer that ‘if you drink the amount of beer the characters do in this film… you will die’. It’s a sobering thought but it’s also bang on the money. Beerfest depicts drinking on a scale that would cripple the NHS if emulated and what’s more its lame central message is that ‘drinking beer is funny’. Make of that what you will.

Written by Broken Lizard, the US comedy troop who have yet to deliver a really funny film and directed by Jay ‘Dukes of Hazard’ Chandrasekhar, you’ll hopefully know from the title what’s on offer here.

The inebriated plot features American brothers Todd and Jan Wolfhouse (Erik Stolhanske and Paul Soter) who inadvertently stumble upon a titular German underground beer drinking contest. In true US style they immediately try to show the rest of the world how things are done but are unprepared for the sheer drinking ability of their hosts and go home badly humiliated. For once however, instead of invading the offending country, the chastened yanks get beer drinking training in order to return the following year and prove that Americans can chug on a world wide stage.

Unfortunately for beer lovers everywhere, Beerfest is so sloppy that after what seems like hours of mildly amusing sleazy “jokes” and dim drinking games, any hope of enjoyment wears off like a short lived beer buzz and a cinematic hangover quickly sets in.

Darkmatters rating system (out of 5):


Action öö – Limited to drinking (but what did you expect?)
Laughs öö – Lacking big time, few and far between
Horror öö – Some horrific scenes of Germans
Babes ööö – Babes ahoy kits off...

Overall öö (not great even if viewed through beer goggles)

Darkmatters: H O M E
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1 comment:

Reese said...

Dude, I canNOT believe you saw this movie. Even I didn't see it, and I'll see anything. Lol.

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