Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (12a)
Dir. Michael Bay
Reviewed by Matt Adcock (in Luton with my sons aged 8 & 12 - who loved this film big time)
Strap in for the biggest, loudest action overload of the summer… The heavy metal Transformers are back and this time the heroic Autobots have got to stop the evil Decepticons destroying our sun (the ball of gas not the newspaper).
You might be surprised if I told you that ‘Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen is a subtle, gently nuanced film full of real human emotion and poignancy’ – actually I’d be surprised if I told you that too because nothing could be further from the truth.
Michael ‘Transformers and Bad Boys’ Bay subscribes to the filmmaking ethos of ‘Let’s blow up as much as we can and make the destruction look as good as possible’… He also seems to have a bit of a military fetish going on – never before have so many G.I.’ s been made to look so macho and patriotic, nobody does military hardware silhouetted against sunsets or explosions quite as well as this chap… It almost made me want to sign up for a tour of duty
Also in a Bay film, every single character has to have ‘hot moment’ where the camera pans around them slowly as they look earnestly into the middle distance. In the case of returning love interest Michaela (supernova hot Megan Fox) or new evil love interest rival Alice (unfeasibly attractive Isabel Lucas) – that’s not actually such a bad thing.
The main stars here though are the robots – brought to shiny, intricate life once again by the genius special effects teams of Industrial Light and Magic (ILM). Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen really does up the ante as to just what is possible to achieve on screen. The humans led by Sam (Shia ‘new Indiana Jones’ LaBeouf) run around getting in the way of the metal marvels whose clashes are suitably epic. One thing though, the robots aren’t that bright – summed up when new Autobots ‘Skids and Mudflap’ explain that they can’t actually read…
There is a plot of sorts but it really doesn’t need explaining, all you really need to know in order to appreciate this film is that thinking about it will only spoil it. There may never be a bigger, stupider or better looking summer blockbuster on planet earth… Although given the colossal amount of cash this is likely to make, the chances are that this won’t be the last time we see Optimus Prime and pals strutting their CGI stuff on the big screen. Good news for action loving filmgoers as long as you can unplug your brain before witnessing it.
Darkmatters Rating out of 5: öööö (4 - so wrong it's right!)
Darkmatters quick reference guide:
Spiritual Enlightenment -2
Not convinced? check out this mini review of the film over at Tom Wade's Emporium of Man Love:
"Technoarmybabble talk scenes ‘Get the F17 to BRING THE RAIN in quadrant 17 of the T12’s white zero fly by in ZXA altitude…’ Am I boring you yet? Seriously, I’ve not left the cinema this angry for a long long time. Yes I know it’s a film about fighting robots blah blah blah – but that’s no excuse for self indulgent bloated work that my nephew could write in his sleep
No matter what I say you’ll either still go see it, or would have already seen it. if you’ve already witnessed it – I share your anger and pain. If you haven’ yet, go wonder into your local hospital and try and catch swine flu. I promise it’ll be time better spent.
And Matt Adcock – I know you loved this. But you’re wrong"
Read the Darkmatters review of the original Transformers HERE