DARKMATTERS - The Mind of Matt

You met me at a very strange time in my life...

Read my novel: Complete Darkness

TREAT yourself to the audiobook version: DARKNESS AUDIOBOOK
Listen to the PODCAST I co-host: Hosts in the Shell
Showing posts with label megan fox. Show all posts
Showing posts with label megan fox. Show all posts

Sunday, November 08, 2009

Darkmatters Review: Jennifer's Body



Jennifer’s Body (15)

Dir. Karyn Kusama

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

ONE WORD SUMMATION: grisslybabelicious

Some girls are just bad news… But none can measure up to the sexy Jennifer (Megan ‘Transformers’ Fox) who sets a whole new standard in being evil. It’s not just that she’s brazen, self centred, slutty and manipulative bitch – Jennifer is literally ‘demonic’ in this fresh horror comedy.
Sure Jennifer is beautiful – as proven from the opening scene where the camera creeps slowly and uncomfortably close all over her body as she lies on her bed. But looks aren’t everything and Jennifer is reliant on her best friend Needy (Amanda ‘Mumma Mia’ Seyfried) for emotional support. The girl’s have been friends since childhood but their relationship is about to stretched to breaking point when scumbag indie-rock band ‘Low Shoulder’ abduct and sacrifice Jennifer to the devil… But due to some occult small print, rather than dying Jennifer is transformed into a flesh eating demon with a taste for boys.
Cue a host of messy murders, teen fumbling and a satanic showdown between the two girls as Needy has to take a stand against her man munching friend / fiend. The film crackles with humour almost as sharp as devilish Jennifer’s fangs thanks to it being written by aptly named Diablo Cody who also penned the excellent Juno. There are some cuttingly well observed moments – my pick being when the band members try to justify their evil plan by moaning “Do you know how hard it is to make it as an indie band these days? There are so many of us, and we're all so cute and it's like if you don't get on some retarded soundtrack, you're screwed, okay?” Speaking of soundtracks Jennifer’s Body boasts a very cool collection of tracks including White Lies, Little Boots and in a nice touch – the fictional Low Shoulder too.
Director Karyn Kusama certainly does a better job than on her last film – the ‘nice effects shame about the plot’ box office flop Æon Flux – but Jennifer’s Body might be a bit too grim to please everyone. The special effects actually play second fiddle here despite having a monster as the main character, that highlights the fact that there is more to this movie than cheap shocks.
My expectations were lowered when Cineworld attendant Pat told me that it “wasn’t the best effort out there” but for those seeking some dark horror comedy – it doesn’t come much better looking than Jennifer’s Body.

Darkmatters final rating of: ööööööö (7 – grows on you)

Darkmatters quick reference guide:

Action 7 (Got bite)

Style 8 (High School angst)

Babes 9 (Fox is a nuclear hottie)

Comedy 8 (some genius dark comedy)

Horror 7 (nasty in places)

Spiritual Enlightenment 4 (not much...)


"she's smokin!"

Friday, October 30, 2009

Darkmatters Jennifer's Body COMPETITION



Darkmatters Jennifer's Body COMPETITION!!

Seen the gorgeous Megan Fox in Jennifer's Body yet?

If you live in the UK and wanna win some Jennifer's Body cool stuff - Iphone/Ipod Touch cover, T Shirt (guy's say 'I've seen Jennifer's Body' or girl's say 'I eat boys'), rocking soundtrack with White Lies, Black Kids, Florence and the Machine...

Here's what you have to do:

1. Marvel at the film's cheeky dialogue like this:

Needy Lesnicky: You're a terrible best friend. You stole my toys when we were little. You poured lemonade on my bed.

Jennifer Check: And now I'm eating your boyfriend. At least I'm consistent...


"don't try this at home"

2. Come up with your own suggested two liner using the same opening and closing lines - making up the most outrageous 'terrible best friend action and response from Jennifer' e.g. like this technology / pet cross over theme a friend suggested:

Needy Lesnicky: You're a terrible best friend. You superglued my hamster to my Iphone.

Jennifer Check: And now I'm feed your goldfish into your PS3. At least I'm consistent...

Email your entries to: darkmatters@another.com

- include your answer dialogue and contact details / postal address and choice of 'guy' or 'girl' shirt (then presuming we still have a functioning mail service once the strikes are over we will get the goodies out to you).

Best entries in by 14th November will win, Editor's decision is final...

Good luck!

"beware - smiling cheerleaders"

Monday, June 22, 2009

Darkmatters Review - Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen




Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (12a)

Dir. Michael Bay

Reviewed by Matt Adcock (in Luton with my sons aged 8 & 12 - who loved this film big time)

Strap in for the biggest, loudest action overload of the summer… The heavy metal Transformers are back and this time the heroic Autobots have got to stop the evil Decepticons destroying our sun (the ball of gas not the newspaper).

You might be surprised if I told you that ‘Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen is a subtle, gently nuanced film full of real human emotion and poignancy’ – actually I’d be surprised if I told you that too because nothing could be further from the truth.

Michael ‘Transformers and Bad Boys’ Bay subscribes to the filmmaking ethos of ‘Let’s blow up as much as we can and make the destruction look as good as possible’… He also seems to have a bit of a military fetish going on – never before have so many G.I.’ s been made to look so macho and patriotic, nobody does military hardware silhouetted against sunsets or explosions quite as well as this chap… It almost made me want to sign up for a tour of duty

Also in a Bay film, every single character has to have ‘hot moment’ where the camera pans around them slowly as they look earnestly into the middle distance. In the case of returning love interest Michaela (supernova hot Megan Fox) or new evil love interest rival Alice (unfeasibly attractive Isabel Lucas) – that’s not actually such a bad thing.

The main stars here though are the robots – brought to shiny, intricate life once again by the genius special effects teams of Industrial Light and Magic (ILM). Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen really does up the ante as to just what is possible to achieve on screen. The humans led by Sam (Shia ‘new Indiana Jones’ LaBeouf) run around getting in the way of the metal marvels whose clashes are suitably epic. One thing though, the robots aren’t that bright – summed up when new Autobots ‘Skids and Mudflap’ explain that they can’t actually read…

There is a plot of sorts but it really doesn’t need explaining, all you really need to know in order to appreciate this film is that thinking about it will only spoil it. There may never be a bigger, stupider or better looking summer blockbuster on planet earth… Although given the colossal amount of cash this is likely to make, the chances are that this won’t be the last time we see Optimus Prime and pals strutting their CGI stuff on the big screen. Good news for action loving filmgoers as long as you can unplug your brain before witnessing it.

Darkmatters Rating out of 5: öööö (4 - so wrong it's right!)

Darkmatters quick reference guide:
Action 4
Style 4
Comedy 3
Horror 4
Spiritual Enlightenment -2


Not convinced? check out this mini review of the film over at Tom Wade's Emporium of Man Love:

"Technoarmybabble talk scenes ‘Get the F17 to BRING THE RAIN in quadrant 17 of the T12’s white zero fly by in ZXA altitude…’ Am I boring you yet? Seriously, I’ve not left the cinema this angry for a long long time. Yes I know it’s a film about fighting robots blah blah blah – but that’s no excuse for self indulgent bloated work that my nephew could write in his sleep
No matter what I say you’ll either still go see it, or would have already seen it. if you’ve already witnessed it – I share your anger and pain. If you haven’ yet, go wonder into your local hospital and try and catch swine flu. I promise it’ll be time better spent.

And Matt Adcock – I know you loved this. But you’re wrong"

Read the Darkmatters review of the original Transformers HERE