DARKMATTERS - The Mind of Matt

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Monday, November 23, 2009

Darkmatters Review: Twilight Saga - New Moon



The Twilight Saga: New Moon (12a)

Dir. Chris Weitz

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

ONE WORD SUMMATION: fangs-for-nothing

Prepare yourself for the swoon-em-up sequel to one of last year’s dullest yet most successful films… Yes the money making, tween girl pleasing, vampire/werewolf love triangle storms back into cinemas taking millions of dollars (biggest opening day in history to date no less!?) and fluttering the hearts of females aplenty.

At the sold out screening in Letchworth where the audience was 98% female, the last film I saw with this much oestrogen in the theatre was shopping and shagging fest ‘Sex and the City’ – alas New Moon isn’t much better.

For non Twilighters out there who haven’t read the million selling books, this is the sorry tale of Bella Swan (Kristen Stewart) who fell in love with pasty faced vampire-lite Edward Cullen (Robert Pattinson) in the first film. Here he decides to move on “to protect her” and she is devastated and mopes about for what feels like hours. But the plot dictates that she get back on with her life and hunky Jacob Black (Taylor Lautner) steps in to be her surrogate man. Bella however seems to have a knack for picking the ‘wrong’ bloke as Jacob turns out to be a werewolf and he too tells her to get lost so that she doesn’t end up as his dinner… Director Chris Weitz who managed to ruin The Golden Compass does the bare minimum here – what could have been an intriguing if cheesy exploration of teen heartbreak is unforgivably lifeless – almost as if it’s blood had been drained from it.

I’m not saying New Moon is a terrible film, it’s just an okay one and it’s a shame. Of course that hasn’t / won’t stop thousands of people chomping at the bit to declare their ‘Team Edward’ or ‘Team Jacob’ allegiance… But the question of the film is - who will Bella pick?

At least there are a couple of slightly better action sequences this time, including a genuinely creepy interlude featuring ‘The Volturi’ - the closest thing vampires have to royalty. Fast rising film star poppet of the moment Dakota Fanning pops up here and is excellent as the powerful daughter of one of the vampire’s royal command – and she’ll be back in the next Twilight film ‘Eclipse’. Speaking of which Twilight 3 will be directed by David ’30 Days of Night’ Slade – who is a director I admire and someone who might just do the seemingly impossible: make the first really cool film of the Twilight Saga. We’ll find out next year!?


"Fanning isn't happy with the red-eye on her vampire holiday snaps"

Darkmatters final rating / out of 10: öööööö (6 – no worse than part one... no better really either)


Darkmatters quick reference guide:

Action 6 (if you want vampire / werewolf action try Underworld)

Style 7 (maintains the bespoke dreariness of the first film)

Babes 6 (Kristen Stewart is kooky hot, Fanning has potential in a few years)

Comedy 4 (gloomy rather than funny)

Horror 5 (not scary at all)

Spiritual Enlightenment -4 ("I don't even want my soul" gushes Bella in the hope of trading damnation for some vampire sex... women eh?)


8 comments:

Term Paper said...

A Great Article indeed and very much detailed...

Hamza said...

i give 7/10.. waiting for the next part..
hamza@samruz.com
http://www.jobspert.com

Term Papers said...

I just love this movie desperately waiting for eclipse.

Winstrol said...

This book was a leader at an Internet library, but when I read it - I was very surprised because it is obviously bad. But it seems that the story is good enough for a film.

error fix said...

Prepare yourself for the swoon-em-up sequel to one of last year’s dullest yet most successful films… Yes the money making, tween girl pleasing, vampire/werewolf love triangle storms back into cinemas taking millions of dollars (biggest opening day in history to date no less!?) and fluttering the hearts of females aplenty.

Custom Home Detailing said...

Darkness is great. I want to see what they will come out with this new year.

Rain Gutter Cleaning said...

We will show this to the class. We think they will like it. Good post.

College term papers said...

It is an excellent movie. Like it.

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