The Losers (12a)
Dir. Sylvain White
Reviewed by Matt Adcock
As the soppy ’80s ballad went ‘Every Loser Wins’… But does this apply to a maverick bunch of revenge-hungry U.S. Special Forces who are double crossed and left for dead on their last mission?
These ‘Losers’ compromise of Clay (Watchmen’s Jeffrey Dean Morgan), Jensen (Fantastic Four’s Chris Evans), Roque (The Wire’s Idris Elba), Pooch (Columbus Short) and Cougar (Oscar Jaenada).
The action is ripped from the pages of the stylish graphic novel by Andy Diggle and a guy named ‘Jock’ – and it looks a treat on the big screen. Imagine the hyper- kinetic whiz bang visuals favoured by Tony Scott blended with the macho posturing of Guy Ritchie you’ll have some idea of what to expect.
The plot is a low on brain cell but high on explosion ‘revenge mission’ against powerful Bond like baddie known only as ‘Max’ (hammed up to the um, ‘max’ by Jason Patric). Max might not have a back story but he gets some good including: “It's like giving a handgun to a six-year-old, - you don't know how it's gonna end, but you're pretty sure it's gonna make the papers.” The Losers are aided by mysterious and beautiful Aisha (Avatar’s Zoe Saldana) but the odds are stacked against them all the way.
"all action babe!"
There are some fantastic set pieces that set this apart from the mire of many B-movie forgettable action flicks including an audacious helicopter hijack and a superb ‘human weapon’ scene where Jensen backed up by sniper Cougar pretends to have the ability to shoot people with his fingers.
Fans of the graphic novel will be delighted to see the film effectively capture the look and feel of the original material much like Watchmen or Sin City before it. Director Sylvain ‘I'll Always Know What You Did Last Summer’ White scores his best film to date with this likeable and genuinely exciting rollercoaster action ride which even sets up a welcome sequel should this one make enough cash at box-office.
"she likes a man with a big gun!"
Throw in some high-tech future weaponry, sizzling interactions between Clay and Aisha and a ‘Glee’-tastic comedy rendition of "Don't Stop Believin'" – sit back and let the good times roll. The Losers might not have an original element to its name but if you’ve a hankering for some tasty action then this will deliver just enough until the heavy artillery of The Expendables and The A-Team arrive later this summer.
By the way, The Losers clocks up as my 500th review for the award winning Johnson Press titles which include the ‘must read’ Luton News and ‘groundbreaking’ Biggleswade Chronicle…
UNSEEN DELETED SCENE:
The Losers run into The A-Team and have to battle to the death...
Darkmatters rating: öööööööö (8 tasty shootouts out of 10)
Darkmatters quick reference guide: Action 9 / Style 8 / Babes 8 / Comedy 7 / Horror 5 / Spiritual Enlightenment -1