Ghost Rider - review

"nice bike, shame about the film..."


Ghost Rider (12a)
Dir. Mark Steven Johnson

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

“There will be no excuses. The guilty will be punished…”
In this case though the guilty are the filmmakers who have unashamedly taken a half decent comic book premise – man sells soul to devil but is tricked into becoming the evil one’s bounty hunter, and dumbed it down, blandedit out and laughed all the way to the bank as it cruises past $100million dollar takings in the U.S. alone.
I used to have a pile of Ghost Rider comics and matchbox toy of his flaming bike which I loved as a boy; alas those pleasant memories of long afternoons burning around my house have been ruined by this limp screen adaptation. Anyway, step this way if you’re in the mood to see Nicholas Cage act even less convincingly than he did in the abysmal Wicker Man remake last year. Here he plays Johnny Blaze, a hot shot stunt biker who inadvertently signs over his soul to Mephistopheles (played like a camp Christopher Walken by Peter Fonda). This diabolic dealing leaves Blaze contractually obligated to be the devil’s own biker scout by night, his head becomes a flaming skull and his bike develops a seriously flammable demeanour.
The sight of the Ghost Rider in full CGI glory is probably the only thing worth checking this stale, lame and completely unnecessary movie out for. But even this wears thin after about a minute or two and becomes laughable when you see the ‘skull’ try to lip synch his clichéd lines.
The baddies don’t fare much better with satan’s son ‘Blackheart’ (Wes Bentley) moping about the place randomly killing people whilst tracking down a legendary contract that he wants to use to put his dad out of a job. The ‘climatic’ showdown between Ghost Rider and Blackheart has to be one of the weakest on screen battles ever, several people even walked out during it which really isn’t a good sign.
The gorgeous Eva Mendez pops up as the unfortunate love interest who has to share Blaze with his hot headed nocturnal exploits – but she’s given little to do except look doe eyed and pout.
Beware Mark Steven Johnson (the director), because if the Ghost Rider is out there, as he says in the film: “Your soul has been tainted by the blood of the innocent. Look into my eyes and feel their pain!” – That’s the pain of the audience he’s talking about and you will suffer greatly!!

Darkmatters rating system (out of 5):

Action ö - weak and frankly rubbish
Laughs öö – a couple, mostly laughing 'at it' not 'with it'
Horror öö – some unpleasant images
Babes ööö – Mendez is hot
Overall öö(prepare for disappointment)


"please don't make me make a sequel!?"

Darkmatters: H O M E