Darkmatters Review: Machete Kills

Machete Kills (15)

Dir. Robert Rodriguez

Reviewed by Matt Adcock
Read the newspaper version of this review at: Bucks Advertiser & Review

“Machete don’t tweet!”

Opening with a funky spoof sci-fi trailer for ‘Machete Kills Again … In Space!’ Machete Kills is the follow up to 2010’s crazed slaughter-em-up Machete (which itself began life as a gimmick trailer in the Rodriguez / Tarantino flick Grindhouse).

But now Machete (Danny Trejo) is back and this time the blade-wielding hero is backed up with a much-improved cast headed up by Mel Gibson on top form as a devious villain and the lovely Amber Heard who will soon lead the big screen adaptation of Martin Amis’ London Fields.

"matching black outfits FTW"

Machete Kills packs a slicker, slightly more coherent plot than the original but is just as giddy in tearing up the screen with a wanton blast of over-the-top ultra-violence.

If someone tells you that Machete Kills is a romantic comedy (as I may have said to my wife to see if she would accompany me to check it), do not believe them.

But if you go in to this film expecting a hugely entertaining, sneeringly violent, action adventure comedy – then you’ll come out smiling and hoping that the ‘Machete Kills Again… In Space!’ trailer actually gets converted into a real follow up…

"Amber Heard gets in on the gunplay"

Director Rodriguez unleashes a manic revenge potboiler of fun with such inventive ideas as an assassin named La / El Chameleón who is played by a host of actors including Cuba Gooding Jr., Lady Gaga, and Antonio Banderas – each embodying a deadly new ‘face’. He also has fun with grimy jump cuts, grainy film stock and an ingenious ‘put on your 3D glasses now’ moment when Heard seduces Trejo.

There really is an excess of badass babes too – kind of like Sin City, which was also directed by Rodriguez, including Sartana (Jessica Alba), Desdemona (Sofia Vergara), Luz (Michelle Rodriguez), Cereza (Vanessa Hudgens) and Killjoy (Alexa Vega). You’ll probably never forget the scene where Desdemona straps on a truly insane ‘machinegun bra’ but that isn’t even the pinnacle of the insanity going on here.

"don't mess with these ladies"

Then throw in Charlie Sheen as the President of the USA – using his birth name of Carlos Estevez – and Demian ‘The Heat’ Bichir who almost steals the show as Gibson’s main evil enforcer and stand well back as Machete Kills explodes in all directions.

All-in-all Machete Kills is a master class in Friday night entertainment and if you’ve ever enjoyed an action movie, you owe it to yourself to check this out.

Out of a potential 5 you have to go with a Darkmatters:

öööö

(4 - nuts in the best possible way)...

Awesomeness öööö – super crazed

Laughs ööö – some good funnies

Horror ööö – blood and guts in excess

Babes ööööö – overloaded

Spiritual Enlightenment ö – limited

"Alexa Vega - come a long way since Spy Kids"