Dir. David Ayer
Reviewed by Matt ‘Breacher’ Adcock (@cleric20)
Read the newspaper version of this review over at the: Buckinghamshire Advertiser & Review
“Scheming on a thing, that's a mirage,
I'm trying to tell you now, it's sabotage…”
Alas there’s not a Beastie Boy to be seen (or even heard) in this limp and stupid ‘action thriller’ that pretty much nails shut Arnie’s lead role action hero credentials coffin. Don’t get me wrong – I’m a big Schwarzenegger fan, and grew up loving his cheesy muscled butt kicking roles in Terminator, Commando, original Total Recall etc.
But all good things come to end and if there is any justice in the world, Sabotage should be a juddering halt that sees the 66 year old all at sea as the leader of an elite DEA tactical team John ‘Breacher’ Wharton.
"do the promotional formation"
Director David ‘End of Watch’ Ayer is normally great Cop action thriller maker but Sabotage is by far his weakest effort to date.
Arnie is actually the least of the problems, he might look confused as to quite why he’s even there – which isn’t helped by his most used line being “What the f…?” - but there are a couple of moments when his sheer bulky presence works. The script however is DOA and the rest of the cast look like they might have wandered onto set from another film altogether, seemingly ad-libbing wildly. Chief offender is Terrence Howard who plays Julius ‘Sugar’ Edmonds – his DEA tag should have been Julius ‘Token Black Male’ Edmonds as he only gets few lines and they are all stereotypically rubbish.
"Oh Arnie... time to stop"
The rest of the ill-fated team (it seems that they are being taken down one by one by a psychotic drug cartel after stealing $10 million from them) include the usually OK Sam ‘Avatar’ Worthington as James ‘Monster’ Murray. Then there’s Joe ‘Grinder’ Phillips (Joe Mangeniello), Eddie ‘Neck’ Jordan (Josh Holloway), Max ‘Pyro’ Roberts, ‘Smoke’ Jennings (Mark Schlegel) and Lizzy Murray (Mireille Enos) – all of them look embarrassed to be there – and Enos in particular hams up the screen like her life depends on it.
Sabotage is unnecessarily nasty too in places, which doesn’t sit well with the crass jovial banter tone of most of the dialogue. It also boasts the worst car chase ever committed to screen and one of the limpest of ‘climactic’ showdowns of all time.
Sabotage leaves no loose ends but is the cinematic equivalent of being repeatedly punched in the face by an angry imbecile – avoid if possible.
Out of a potential 5 you have to go with a Darkmatters:
ö1/5
(1.5 - I Can't stand it - I know you planned it...)
Awesomeness öö – not even so bad it's good often enough
Laughs öö – unwittingly funny
Horror ööö – nasty in places
Babes ö – Mireille Enos uglies up which is a shame
Spiritual Enlightenment ö - no saving grace
Recommended Hashtags: #PunchMyFace
"Just this single picture of Sabotage by Beastie Boys is better than the entire movie of the same name"
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