DARKMATTERS - The Mind of Matt

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Friday, March 03, 2023

Matt embraces the COCAINE BEAR (review)


Cocaine Bear (15)

Dir. Elizabeth Banks

Reviewed by Matt Adcock (@Cleric20)

“I’d love to not remember this. But it seems like the kind of thing that stays with a man forever…”

If you go down to the woods today you better be ready for some drug-fuelled grizzly alpha predator carnage. Yes, cocaine bear is a thing and oh boy it's a lot of fun. Directed by Elizabeth Banks and written by Jimmy Warden, This is the tail of what ‘might’ have happened if 175 pound black bear had ingested a lot of cocaine – because that much at least did happen back in 1985.

What really happened was much less exciting, the bear died after 20 minutes. Here however we get out deliciously insane coke-fuelled murderous rampage of fun. 

The ‘all you can eat human buffet’ for the bear with serious munchies aren’t presented as mere just bear fodder - Banks gets good milage from her decent ensemble who include Sari (Keri Russell) soccer mom searching for her missing daughter (Brooklynn ‘Florida Project’ Prince), who’s skipped school to go rambling in the woods. Comedy park ranger (Margo Martindale) and her unrequited love interest wildlife inspector (Jesse Tyler Ferguson), police chief (Isiah Whitlock Jr) who is on the trail of the missing cocaine. But best of all is uber gangster Syd Dentwood (Ray Liotta, who died last year, and to whom this film is dedicated)…

Who is survive and what will be left of them is anyone’s guess.

Cocaine Bear is better than a film of that title has any right to be – and if there’s any justice in the world this will be a much-watched cult classic in years to come!

Out of a potential 5, you have to go with a Darkmatters:


(4 - Coke-Bear-Mageddon 

Awesomeness ööö
ö – Godilocks better watch out...

Laughs öööö – laugh-out-loud in places

Horror öö
 – some gory bits

Spiritual Enlightenment -öö - don't do drugs kids

>>> Imagine a world where the earth is becoming hell?

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