Matt is probably on the beach...

Cowboy (who looks like Edward Norton): "hey sexy Evan Rachel Wood - have you seen Matt about anywhere on this beach? He hasn't updated his blog for like a week or something..."

Sexy Evan Rachel Wood: "nope, not seen him - I heard he'd gone to France with his family so he's probably not going to have chance to blog till the 30th August now... didn't even ask me to go neither..."

Film Review: Harsh Times

Harsh Times (15) 

Dir. David Ayer 

Reviewed by Matt Adcock 

"I'm a soldier of the apocalypse, man - a stone-cold killer… A psyched out, mentally unstable nightmare on your doorstep and you want to know the best part? I’m going to be a cop real soon… Let’s be careful out there yeah?"

Times certainly are ‘harsh’ in this powerful directorial debut from ‘Training Day’ screenwriter David Ayer. Christian Bale excels as Jim, your average disturbed ex-US Ranger / heavy-duty American psycho, burning up the screen and damaging all who come into contact with him. That’s not to say that he isn’t trying to be a nice guy most of the time, just that he’s only ever a hair-trigger away from unleashing a world of violent pain on anyone who crosses him. 

Harsh Times really is a kind of Taxi Driver companion piece and it’s every bit as good as Martin Scorsese’s ’76 tour de force. This time we have an alienated Iraq War veteran trying to get his life together back on civvy street but the phrase ‘own worst enemy

has never been so apt. Spending his days hanging out with his best pal Mike (Freddy Rodríguez) the two of them are trouble magnets despite their good intentions of finding jobs and settling down with their women (the gorgeous pair of Eva ‘Desperate Housewives’ Longoria and Tammy Trull). The film is incredibly watchable and the script sparkles with genius lines like when Jim surveys the other candidates around the Homeland Security training centre and deadpan quips “I see dumb people.” 

Harsh Times deals in self-destructive black comedy of the highest order. The characters are ones which you will want to see survive, that you’d like to see make it to the dream happy-ever-after of meaningful employment and family life. But, however much fun the dodgy duo of pals get into – there is a creeping sense of unassailable, inevitable doom stalking the plotline and you just know that it will end in tears. Tears and heavy-duty gunplay quite possibly involving some scumbag Mexican gangbangers. 

I can’t state enough just how astonishing Bale’s performance is here, he’s scarily convincing as a pure rage-fuelled powderkeg of anger. It’s all beautifully shot too with grainy handheld camerawork mixed with sweeping vistas which puts you right there on the mean streets of LA and Mexico. 

If you’ve a hankering for an intense cinematic experience that will take you on a ride to the edge, Harsh Times will blow you away. 

Darkmatters rating system (out of 5): 

Action öööö – gunfights and beatings look very good here 

Laughs ööö – some great moments 

Horror ööö – brutal but not horrific 

Babes öööö – Eva Longoria and Tammy Trull look bring the girl power

Overall öööö (very impressive debut!!)

Film Review: Severance

 

Severance (15) 

Dir. Christopher Smith 

Reviewed by Matt Adcock (@cleric20)

Welcome to the latest team-building exercise for the European sales division of Palisade Defence (the multi-national weapons company that really cares about its staff). On this excursion, you will get to experience the thrill of bonding with your co-workers in ways I’m pretty sure you’ll have never dreamt of. 

As well as the usual paintball, brainstorming, and socialising – there will be some fun additional activities that include: Running for your lives from a psychopathic bunch of war-crazed killers intent on murdering every last one of you, and avoiding the numerous booby traps such as antipersonnel landmines (Palisade’s finest of course) and some very nasty bear traps… 

Of course if Palisade had just gone to the Institute of Leadership & Management (ILM) for their management training requirements none of this would have been necessary… Anyway, Severance is pretty much the ultimate slasher/action/comedy film. Think ‘Shaun of the Dead’ but swap the zombies for evil gun and machete toting nutjobs and you’ll be in the right zone. And Severance really delivers in all areas; I was literally blown away by Christopher ‘Creep’ Smith’s insanely enjoyable film. Danny ‘The Football Factory’ Dyer as wide-boy stoner Steve leads the impressive ensemble cast on this amusingly doomed expedition. 

An ill-fated journey that takes in levels of violence that wouldn’t have been out of place in Eli Roth’s ‘Hostel’, so be warned, Severance is certainly not for the squeamish. Having said that however the makers manage to do something very difficult –have you laughing out loud one moment and genuinely scared the next. Add into the mix some very smart and politically astute dialogue, characters that you get to care about (before they die), and some crunching fight scenes and you’re in for a very good evening. 

Also, watch out for the ‘rocket launcher scene’ which is so audacious that it instantly became my new ‘all-time favourite scene ever’!! I’ll no doubt have to do some sort of penance for wholeheartedly endorsing such a twisted and gleefully nasty tale but I’m afraid that films like this just don’t come along very often… 

Makers of scary movies the world over should take note – this is how you make a decent horror/comedy film. Severance is, without doubt, the most dysfunctional, delightful and potentially brain-damaging cinematic experience of 2006 – altogether a superior quality British film you simply must not miss...!! 

Darkmatters rating system (out of 5):

Action öööö – slapstick, gunfights, set-piece heaven

Laughs öööö – superb dark wit at work here

Horror ööööö – downright nasty in places and scary too

Overall ööööö (perfect Brit horror comedy? ...pretty darned close!)

Link to previous post on Severance: http://darkmatt.blogspot.com/2006/08/brit-horror-comedy-severancelooks.html 

"you know smoking kills but then so do masked psychopaths..."

Make someone happy (me) - check out my novel - click this banner...

Be afraid - The Straw Men are here…

"slick, intense, and harrowing... like good thrillers should be..."

The Straw Men
By Michael Marshall

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

Every parents nightmare… Their 14year old daughter abducted… An insane serial killer "The Upright Man", on the loose… A grisly trail that means if it’s ‘him’ that has their child, she is likely to be tortured and has at best about a week to live…
Cue hard boiled and self hating LA homicide detective hero (whose own daughter was one of the killer’s victims) and a link to a guy who is fast finding out that nothing he thought he knew about his past or his parents was based on fact.
Mix these elements and pump them through the highly creative mind of Michael Marshall – Brit author of the very cool ‘Spares, One of Us and Only Forward’ and you have an absolute grade 'A' thriller that will rip your still beating heart out and eat it in front of you... The good news for sicko killer thriller fans being that The Straw Men is only part one of a trilogy (I will be seeking out and reading part 2 The Lonely Dead ASAP)…

Sample passage page 437:
“All three had guns. All were firing them.
The youth died first. His technique was pure television: gun held out sideways, gangbanger style. Bobby had him down with one shot. I slipped behind one of the pillars and straight out the other side, getting McGregor first in the thigh, then the chest. I still only narrowly avoided taking one to the face, felt the hum as it spun past my head. I dropped to one knee and scooted behind one corner of the reception, praying that the woman hadn’t seen me. Reloaded dropping half the bullets…
McGregor was still shooting. The woman behind the desk nearly took Bobby out before I took a breath and stood up, emptying half of my gun into her.”

MM said that he saw the book as: “a reminder that we're animals, and that much of what we do and how we behave can be more easily explained by remembering that, rather than pretending that we're a bunch of angels wandering amongst the beasts."
That sounds about right to me…

The Straw Men is a cracking read and would lend itself to a film or mini series – am really looking forward to parts 2 & 3.

Buy it at Amazon: The Straw Men

Darkmatters rating system (out of 5):
Action öööö – When it hits, it hits hard
Laughs ööö – Some decent black humour
Horror ööö – Gets grim but not over the top
Babes ö – Nothing to get excited about in this area

Overall öööö (buy it and never look at your neighbour the same way again)

Matt Adcock meets M Night Shyamalan

Matt Adcock Meets M Night Shyamalan

Everything looks a little off kilter after witnessing M Night Shyamalan’s latest film, Lady in the Water. Or it might just be the effect of the multiple blue spotlights that the Warner Bros PR people have set up – either way I’m excited to be able to put some questions to the writer/director/actor who shot to fame with his movie ‘The Sixth Sense’ and has been spooking audiences ever since.

Where did you get the ideas for Lady in the Water?

A. The story actually came from me telling the back story that’s in the movie to my kids as a bedtime tale. Ultimately, what I was trying to duplicate with the movie was the kind of free-spiritedness that’s there when you tell it to your kids. I think there’s a moment when I watch Wizard of Oz or Peter Pan where you sense that the author has left the rules of normal storytelling and they’re following a light that’s moving around, going places that they might not fully understand and yet children can understand.

Do you think that audiences might be coming to this film expecting to be scared rather than charmed?

A. I’ve been struggling with what to do with all that. The Sixth Sense was my first one that everyone got to see and that happened to be scary. Then I did Unbreakable about comic books and it wasn’t meant to be scary. But it became seen as a mistake that it wasn’t scary. I didn’t even know that I’d been put in that ‘He’s the scary film guy’ vein then. I definitely like suspense though – I don’t even know how to think without it.


Your role is Lady in the Water is your biggest yet – are you planning to take the lead in your next film maybe?

A. Luckily, there are world class actors that can do that. But I did one film called Playing With Anger, which was my first film in India with a really low budget, and I was the lead in that. With this one, the struggle of a writer is something that I'm obviously very, very familiar with. I’ve felt that feeling of going into a closed room and just feeling lost. So anytime anyone writes something about a writer I'm always connected to the plight of that lonely person struggling to hear something.
But role wise - Signs offered the perfect balance of what I’d love to do – a meaningful small role that can contribute to the emotion of the movie.

How did your children react to seeing their bedtime story up on the big screen?

A. That was the only time I was really, really nervous - the day I showed it to them. The last thing you want is pity from your kids, for them to look up with that expression they give people who give them presents that they don’t really like… But they loved it, they’re 10 and 6, and I’d never seen them so transported. They’ve seen it now four times.

As a fellow dad I can relate to that feeling of wanting your children to like what you’ve created. Alas the novel I’m working on is pretty adult orientated so it might be a while before they get to read it. For now though I’ll be interested to see what my boys think of Lady in the Water, it’s certainly dark and scary in places – like many of the classic children’s stories?

Lady in the Water review: http://darkmatt.blogspot.com/2006/08/film-review-lady-in-water.html

Darkmatters: H O M E

Film Review: Lady in the Water

Lady in the Water (PG)
Dir. M Night Shyamalan

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

Let me tell you a strange bedtime story of weird and wacky things that go ‘splash’ in the night. Come with me to the blue world, a place populated by Narfs (water nymphs), Scrunts (ferocious predatory wolf things) and the Tartutic (three simian beasts made out of trees)… No, I’m not making this up I swear – this tale springs from the fervently bonkers imagination of M Night ‘Sixth Sense’ Shyamalan who made it up for his children.
Lady in the Water is highly divisive with many people just not buying into the kooky childish mythology or feeling let down by the only moderate scares on offer here. And even those who are prepared to go along with this uncompromisingly odd brain splurge could be forgiven for joining those still feeling let down by The Village a couple of years ago in thinking that this is his worst film to date… Unfortunately I’d have to agree but even saying that I did enjoy parts of Lady in the Water, (I mean what’s not to like in a scene where the know it all film critic tries to talk his way out of a confrontation with a monster - only to get mauled to death anyway!?).
One of the main problems is that whilst the excellent Paul Giamatti battles heroically to overcome the cumbersome script and brings real feeling to his care-worn caretaker character, everybody else seems to have regressed to a state of non acting ability. Also you’ll have to make your own mind up about how Shyamalan’s role of ‘misunderstood genius writer who will change the world’ relates to his own view of himself… After meeting him this week I am just about prepared to give him the benefit of the doubt and file this as a valiant failure.
So it is that ‘Story’ the Narf (played by Bryce Dallas Howard) has little to do but look confused and get attacked by the vicious scrunts. And when one character says: “This is like a scene out of a horror movie,” you wonder if they may have been adlibbing a bit too accurately? Alas it looks like time is running out for a happy ending to the M Night Shyamalan series of films unless he finds a much stronger project to bounce back with – perhaps recapturing his magic with Unbreakable 2 or The Seventh Sense?

Darkmatters rating system (out of 5):
Action öö – bit soggy
Laughs ööö – some nice flashes of genius
Horror ööö – couple of nice jumps and some kid friendly menace
Babes ööö – Bryce Dallas Howard is yummy

Overall öö1/2 (a near miss - but still worth seeing)

Matt Adcock meets M Night Shyamalan

Darkmatters: H O M E

Film Review: Stormbreaker

Stormbreaker (PG)
Dir. Geoffrey Sax

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

“You know, I wouldn't mind giving you one too…”
Thus says evil baddie Darrius Sayle (Mickey ‘Sin City’ Rourke) most inappropriately to the young female BBC Newsround reporter and I can’t help laughing… Suddenly I realise that I’m the only person in the cinema laughing at this semi crude joke which has gone over the heads of the amassed kids (my two sons included) – ah well, respect to the filmmakers for putting some little adult friendly bonuses like that into this fun junior Bond-esq romp.

Director Sax makes amends for his weak White Noise last year with Stormbreaker – the big screen version of the first of Anthony Horowitz’s teen spy book series. It’s jolly good fun too with enough action to stop children losing interest and a plot so lightweight that it makes Miami Vice look like a serious essay on the human soul…

Alex Pettyfer does a decent enough job in the lead role of Alex Rider. The ensemble supporting cast go about the daftness with aplomb and Sarah ‘In America’ Bolger tries her hand being a teen romantic interest.

My eldest son Luke who is 9 has become a big fan of all things Stormbreaker (DS Game, Graphic Novel etc etc) and it’s a series that has potential to make a not unwelcome return at some point soon – providing the box office holds up I’m guessing?

Stormbreaker cracks along competently and I enjoyed it all – this is a fun action packed family movie that makes a decent change from animated rodents and soppy family comedies… Enjoy…

Darkmatters rating system (out of 5):
Action ööö – some decently staged set pieces
Laughs ööö – more than I expected
Horror ö – nothing much too nasty
Babes ööö – Bolger has potential for a few years time…

Overall ööö (you’re never too young to die – or enjoy fun films)

Darkmatters: H O M E

Game nerds heaven... don't look if you're adverse to hot females

"last gasp usage of non wireless controllers"


Darkmatters: H O M E

Brit horror / comedy Severance looks great!!

"Remember - there's no 'i' in 'team', there are a couple in 'kill or be killed'"

Top looking new UK horror / comedy Severance hits the screens in a couple of weeks and stars cheeky cool Brit actor Danny 'Football Factory' Dyer and a bird named Laura Harris. It's the story of mucho death in the countryside when an international arms dealer (Palisade Defence) decides to reward its six-member sales division with a weekend team-building retreat in the mountains of Eastern Europe...

The agenda for their trip changes when the group realise that they are under attack from a renegade band of war-crazed soldiers seeking twisted revenge...

Forced to defend themselves, the group of corporate execs don't know whether to laugh, cry or get medieval on their asses...

File this under 'must see'!!

Check out the official site severancethemovie.co.uk and play a sick sick game online (if you like that sort of thing!?).

Darkmatters: H O M E

Film Review: Miami Vice

Miami Vice (15)

Dir. Michael Mann

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

“Smooth… That’s how we do it.”

Oh yes, here it is – Miami Vice finally on the big screen some 20 years since the TV show changed the viewing habits and dress sense of millions of impressionable males across the world. I should know, I was one of them. So bad was my love of Miami Vice that it wasn’t until I met my wife in the early nineties that I finally accepted it was ‘not actually cool’ to walk around with the sleeves of my cream linen jacket rolled up and Jan Hammer tunes blaring from my car stereo…

The feature film is directed by Michael ‘Heat’ Mann who also created the original TV series but only the title, premise and characters have survived. Everything about the new version is harder, darker and more stylish than before. Miami Vice is a deliciously vicious victory of boiled down style over substance. The message here is that you don’t need to know any back story to these two cool undercover cops – and character development is for wimps. 

What you sign up for this time is two and bit hours in their dangerous knife edge world where attitude, confidence and crunching violence are the only necessary currency.
The plot is perfunctory; detectives Crockett (Colin Farrell) and Tubbs (Jamie Foxx) go undercover in Miami to bring down a serious bunch of drug dealers. Things get a bit out of hand when Crockett falls for drug princess Isabella (Gong Li) and completely ‘which way is up’ when a white supremacist group start mixing weapon shipments and abductions into the drug running mix. Add cool cars, tasty speedboats, private jets and high tech counter espionage and ignite the slow burn fuse.

In order to really appreciate Miami Vice in its new guise you need something that many cinema goers simply have forgotten how to use – an attention span of more than five minutes. From the moment you’re thrown into a throbbing nightclub opening scene without a clue what’s going on, through to the climatic gun battle that sets new standards in awesome cinematic overkill, you need to pay attention.

It’s worth it though because this is cinema at its macho best. Mann has successfully taken the classic cheesy TV show, stripped it, remixed it and unleashed it on a new generation. 

As Tubbs asks at one point:

“Do you understand the meaning of the word ‘foreboding’, as in badness is happening right now?” 

Watch this and you will do… 

Highly recommended viewing.

Darkmatters rating system (out of 5):

Action öööö – when it comes... it hits hard

Laughs öö – not much apart from Farrell's hairdo

Horror ööö – some seriously nasty death shots

Babes ööö – Gong Li... yes please

Overall öööö (quality reworking of much loved TV series)

Links:

Matt Adcock meets Colin Farrell

Matt falls for ANGEL - A

Angel - A (15)
Dir. Luc Besson

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

“I can feel my life ebbing away, evil chills creep into me in exchange for the steady loss of consciousness… I realise exactly what is happening but quite why my untimely demise should be any consideration to you… that is something I do not understand?”
From the novel ‘Darkmatters’

Imagine it’s all true… that angels exist and are amongst us on missions to help out poor souls – it’s a nice concept, an uplifting thought and one which seems to have tickled the fancy of cool French film maker Besson in his romantic fantasy ‘Angel – A’.

This is the story of big time loser Andre (Jamel Debbouze) who is so down on his luck – and not to mention so in debt some rather nasty types – that he decides to top himself by jumping into the Seine. Imagine his surprise when he sees a super hot blonde in a micro dress about to do the same…

He rescues her, she tells him that she’ll do anything he wants to help him get back on his feet and the pair bicker in the best style before finally admitting their true feelings for each other… Just one problem, she’s actually an angel and she’s not allowed to get involved with humans…

Angel A has had a pretty rough ride from critics so far but it touch me deeply and I was swept up in it’s monochrome wonderfulness. Plus of course the blonde angel (Rie Rasmussen) is an absolute babe who can fight, screw and smoke any man under the table…

Don’t go expecting Besson’s usual violence (which I do love especially in Nikita, Leon and 5th Element) – take a date and revel in the most gorgeous film for lovers to hit the screen in years…

Darkmatters rating system (out of 5):
Action ööö – some fights but no gunplay
Laughs ööö – I laughed out loud several times
Horror öö – nothing too nasty
Babes öööö – Rasmussen is gorgeous and her legs go on forever!

Overall öööö (quality fantasy… memorable)


"only angels can wear dresses this short!"

Darkmatters: H O M E

Hot new Spanish horror 'La Hora Fria' trailer now live

"guns vs the unknown... with Spanish style"

La Hora Fria is shaping up to be a cool underground horror hit from sunny Spain...

The tale is about a group of eight people living in isolated in crumbling installations. They cannot abandon the complex and they live in a constant state of vigilance. The food supplies are running out and they urgently need medicines and ammunitions, but in order to find them they must abandon the secure area. What lurks outside the small area they inhabit, however, is so menacing that they dare not even speak of it...

I like the set up and will be tracking this for a release date.

The teaser trailer from "La Hora Fria" is now available with english subtitles:




If you can't see it above - check it here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v0iI02f6li4


Darkmatters: H O M E

Film Review: Renaissance

"out now in the UK and September '06 in the US"

Renaissance (15)
Dir: Christian Volckman

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

“First I’m strip you naked, then I’m gonna tie you up. You know of course that I’m going to torture you until you lose control. Finally I’ll dispose you in some quiet Parisian sewer and nobody will ever know where you went or why…”
Crumbs… did I say that out loud? Sorry about that – think I might have just had a flashback from the subliminal programming I might have received whilst watching Renaissance – an uber dark, paranoia inducing, threatening and completely unique cinematic experience.

Welcome to a near future underworld (Paris, AD 2054) ripped from a comic which could sit alongside Sin City and not look out of place. Actually Renaissance is an original film – it started production before Sin City came along and trumped it last year… This in many ways is a tragedy for the Renaissance makers, because whilst their film is bold, striking and looks amazing, it just can't touch the storyline or characters of Frank Miller's classic.

He’s a snippet from a BBC interview with the director: “Two or three years into production we saw the first Sin City trailers and completely freaked out. We thought, ‘That’s it, someone’s doing this before us.’ But I think if we had come out first, people would say, ‘Oh, Sin City is like Renaissance…’ I was trying to achieve the same feeling that you have when you’re looking at a painting. Which is a cross between reality and something more graphic or dreamlike. So with black-and-white and Motion Capture I could have this realistic feeling of human movement on one side, and on the other side have this completely strange world.” Read more here: http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/collective/A13384226

Anyway, the 'movement capture' used here is pretty impressive stuff – the high contrast black and sheer white is retina burning - it needs to be seen to be believed. The story is your average bad corporation / abducted female scientist kind of thing. You know, a tough cop (voiced by new James Bond Daniel Craig no less) stumbles into a sinister secret project to find a way of living forever etc…

Graphic novel lovers are in for a visual treat and whilst it tends to drag a little and could have been tighter with some of the padding removed but it’s still a ‘must see’ movie!


Darkmatters rating system (out of 5):
Action ööö – some gun scenes, some chasing, you know the drill
Laughs ö – not a comedy in any shape or form
Horror ööö – slightly disturbing
Babes ööö – if you like your T&A animated, step right up…

Overall öööö (I love the genre but Sin City just did it better)

Darkmatters: H O M E

Matt Adcock Meets Colin Farrell

"Hey, Tubbs - out the way this is my interview!"

Matt Adcock Meets Colin Farrell

In a London hotel an undercover bust is going down… I’m packing some heat but trying to act nonchalant, all around me are very dodgy looking people. Actually that’s not the quite case* – I’m just here to talk to Colin Farrell - Irish born Hollywood heart-throb who’s gracing the screens as one of my all time TV idols ‘Det. James 'Sonny' Crockett’ in Miami Vice. Looking for a hit after the hilariously bad Alexander – Colin is in a foul mouthed but fun mood.

Colin, Miami Vice is a long way from Ballykissangel which is where lots of people got their first look at your acting. So, how did you feel about the TV series of Miami Vice – were you a fan?

“Hey I was an 8year old still in shorts so although I enjoyed watching the original series as a kid – I don’t think it influenced me too much – in fact I think CHIPS might have influenced me more!"

Ah yes that motorcycle cop Saturday afternoon spectacular… Anyway, I heard that you got taken on a real drug bust as part of your preparation for your undercover cop role in Miami Vice – how was that?

“We did a lot of work with the undercover cops to get ready and I spent a week with them running through scenarios. I thought I had built up a lot of trust with them. They told me they were going to make a real ‘buy’ – some kilos of cocaine from some Columbians and that I could come along and have a look at a live deal. I remember thinking ‘what if one of them was one of the 15 people who saw ALEXANDER?’ maybe I'll be in trouble…
“But I went along, guns were pulled, the s*** hit the fan – I had an accident in my pants but I did get the real sensation of what it’s like when these things go awry… I found out the next day that it was all a set up!”

How you laughed I bet… But talking of guns, did you get much weapons training for this gun toting role?

“We (i.e. along with Jamie Foxx who plays Tubbs) got a lot of trigger time with live ammo in preparation for the role. By the time we came to shoot we were comfortable with the guns – it had to look like we carried these things all the time.”

Miami Vice was one of my favourite ever TV shows – I even had a cream linen jacket with the sleeves rolled up. Are you nervous about the film doing well?

“I be lying if I said I wasn’t nervous. This film has cost a lot of money to make and taken 10 months of my life – so I do have an emotional involvement in it.”

Was it tough dealing with the media attention on set – and what was that about ‘Don’t talk to Colin’ T-shirts being worn?

“It’s not so tough, I mean you know you’re going to get sustained media interest all through your life if you do this job. But yeah, one of the girls – she’s mental – got those T-shirts printed, she’s fired now (kidding).”

And with that he’s gone – off to enjoy the London premier of Miami Vice – potentially my ‘film of the year’.


*There were lots of dodgy looking people – but I realised later that they were just the other film reviewers!!


Darkmatters: H O M E

Film Review: Cars

Cars (PG)
Dir. John Lasseter

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

Get your motor runnin’, head out on the highway, lookin’ for adventure and whatever comes our way!! Rev your engine and prepare for some high octane summer entertainment – it might not be eco friendly but Cars is high on MPH (mirth per hour).
Lots of critics have been bashing Pixar for making Cars – but I loved it as much as the excellent Toy Story films or The Incredibles.
The story features a young red racing car name Lightning McQueen. He's a hot rookie racing sensation but his success has gone to his head and he may need some fine tuning under the bonnet in terms of caring about his fellow cars. Fate steps in and dictates that he takes an unexpected detour en route to his major championship showdown and finds that life might actually be about more than winning!?

What’s so good about Cars? Well it brings the coolest, shiniest animation ever seen, I’m talking astonishing attention to detail and stunning visuals all round. Then you have the characters – Lightning (Owen Wilson) is an iconic hero who as one of my sons enthused is ‘cooler than cool’ and destined to sell billions of toy cars… There are some wonderfully slick tributes, jokes and cameos too including one by Jeremy Clarkson which was a stroke of absolutely genius. There’s even a car ‘babe’ in the form of curvy Porsche Sally (voiced by Bonnie Hunt) and both Paul Newman and Larry The Cable Guy put in good work as the ex champ ‘Doc’ and the rusty redneck towtruck ‘Mater’.

You could claim that Cars may be a little long at almost 2 hours but for someone like me who apparently said ‘car’ before ‘mummy’ – that’s not such a bad thing. OK so my wife did dose gently in the middle stretch but there are plenty of good ol’ moral values and life lessons to soak up in the nitros fuelled fun. And if you don’t get the hairs on the back of your neck standing up during the final grand prix you should probably check for a pulse! Also look out during the end credits for some superb in-jokes.With Cars Pixar prove again that they are still the masters of the animated genre – although I do rather like the look of Monster House and Hoodwinked too. Oh and if you have Sky TV – you can see me talking about new Luc Besson flick Angel A this week on EAT CINEMA channel 199!

Darkmatters rating system (out of 5):

Action ööö – racing is cool...
Laughs ööö – cracking in jokes - Pixar style
Horror ö - a 3 yr old near me shouted 'I'm not scared'... I believed them
Babes ööö – take a Porsche for ride?

Overall öööö (I AM SPEED!!)


Darkmatters: H O M E

Matt on EAT CINEMA First Night Bites

"thank you - I'll be here all week!"

There I was watching Luc Besson's new film Angel - A and before I know there's a cool young TV crew and lights and camera and before I could run... action... Yep if you have SKY and can get channel 199 (Eat Cinema) then you can see my funky thoughts on Angel - A on their 'First Night Bites' programme...

And if you don't have that then you can read my review here on Darkmatters very soon!

Peace out...

That link again:
http://www.eatcinema.com/

Darkmatters: H O M E 

Matt takes a refreshing dip in Mean Creek

Mean Creek 15 (2004)
Dir. Jacob Aaron Estes

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

“My name is George... and this... is the inside of mind…” - sigh - ”The inside of my mind has a zillion things... “- sigh - ”The inside of my mind has a zillion things about it but... people that don't see inside of my mind don't know there are a zillion things. Y'know, since know one sees inside my mind no one really knows, but... one day people will know. One day people will know 'cause that's my master plan. To film it all. To document every aspect of the life that is me. And put it in a time capsule in my backyard and so that one day some alien or some highly evolved species will find it and... understand.”

But they won’t of course – they won’t because big fat bullyboy George ‘and his mind of zillion things’ is dead meat. The only things in his mind now are worms and bugs…want to know why? Take a trip to Mean Creek on DVD… it’s a twisted little coming of age tale that is also kinda beautiful and for once it’s acted by kids who can actually act!?

The ‘death in a group of teens’ storyline isn’t exactly original but having said that it’s rarely been brought to the screen with such earnest conviction and downright skill. Beneath the surface, everyone has a secret…and this talent bunch of kids manage to walk the fast blurring line between innocence, guilt and responsibility in a convincingly watchable way.

So we meet Sam (Rory Culkin), he gets beaten up by nasty / misunderstood George (Josh Peck), the overweight school bully. Sam’s older brother Rocky (Trevor Morgan), and his friends Marty (Scott Mechlowicz) and Clyde (Ryan Kelley) decide to teach George a lesson – a lesson in being humiliated… I won’t go into the plot any further but you’ll get the gist from the title that things turn out rather more macabre than anticipated – leading to a hasty round of soul searching and regret in the final act…

Star of the piece for me was young Millie (Carly Schroeder), Sam’s would-be girlfriend, she’s amazingly assured and manages to balance the raging testosterone from the rest of the all male group with a cute brand of blank acceptance mixed with knowing undercurrents. She’ll be major star soon mark my words – Dakota Fanning should be worried as her ‘wide eyed young blonde girl’ acting crown could well be in serious jeopardy!

Mean Creek is film that needs to be seen by teens and parents alike – powerful, intense and lingeringly poignant, I await with interest to see what Estes does next.

Darkmatters rating system (out of 5):

Action ööö – slowburn man
Laughs ööö – wry dark humour but you have to look for it
Horror ööö – tense rather than overly grim
Babes ööö – Schroeder could be a hottie in a few years

Overall öööö (a dark trip worth taking)

Darkmatters: H O M E

Film Review: The Break Up

The Break Up (12a)
Dir. Peyton Reed

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

It’s an old story… Boy meets girl, she’s with loser boyfriend. Boy wins her over and they live happily ever after (well, for a couple of years at least). But she starts to complain that he doesn’t help out enough around the house and that he takes her for granted. He secretly pines for a pool table in his lounge, time to play Grand Theft Auto on his PS2 and would rather watch sports highlights on TV rather than take her to the ballet. One day they hit an argument where all the underlying tensions are brought to the surface and she snaps and breaks up with him - then the fun begins.
Or so I thought after seeing the trailer for The Break Up which sold it as a fun romantic comedy and also showed off most of the funny lines. In fact I thought ‘Hey I’ll take my gorgeous wife to see this as an amusing early 12th Wedding Anniversary treat’. Alas The Break Up turned out to be much more of a relationship drama than any sort of feel good comedy, and was actually uncomfortable viewing for someone who doesn’t like witnessing couples arguing and not giving each a chance. Yes, I now know that the clue was in the title all along but like any painful break up, this movie can leave you feeling hollow, empty and wistful for the good bits. Hhhmmm, looks like I may still have got some work to do on the Wedding Anniversary treat front…
Anyway there are some good bits – in fact whenever tour bus guide Gary (the excellent Vince Vaughn) flexes his comic muscles the film comes alive, especially when playing off his comic buddy Johnny O played by Jon Favreau. There are also lots of not so good bits and they can mostly be summed up in two words: Jennifer, Aniston.
Director Peyton ‘Down With Love’ Reed really struggles to mix the funny comedy elements with the bitter fall outs and ends up satisfying nobody. If a romantic comedy or a film to reaffirm you relationship is what you’re after, this shouldn’t be on your ‘to see’ list. However, if you’re in the market for an awkward experience that constantly changes tone and leaves you feeling despondent, then The Break Up will be exactly what you’re looking for!

Darkmatters rating system (out of 5):
Action öö – couple of slapstick moments
Laughs öööö – the few that are hear are good ones!
Horror öööö – depends on how you feel about Jennifer Aniston
Babes ööö – as above

Overall öö1/2 (some fun to be had but it's almost not worth it)

Darkmatters: H O M E

Love that Modern Toss!!

"genius - but only for those not easily offended!"

Just been watchin a bit of Modern Toss have you? CHANNEL 4 11.00 on a TUESDAY EVE? Course you have... me too... loved it mate... check the official site here where you can buy all kinds of F'''''n stuff...

http://moderntoss.com/

Mr Tourette, Alan, Fly Talk, Customer Services... Best new comedy show on TV since Nathan Barley?

Yep!

"surprise celeb endorsement: Elisha Cuthbert!?"*

Darkmatters: H O M E

*based on nothing but a cute pic...

Film Review: District 13

District 13 (15)
Dir. Pierre Morel

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

What is it with Violent French men eh? It seems that in addition to their now world famous skills at head butting Italian football opponents, they can also sometimes be found running up walls…
Welcome to a near future France, where owing to an above average outbreak of lawless behaviour (possibly brought about by their world cup capitulation?) they’ve decided to simply wall off some of the less salubrious suburbs of Paris. This ghettoising policy quickly leads to criminals taking over and flooding the areas with drugs and stupid henchmen. But on these mean streets arises a hero named Leito (played by David Belle - the highly athletic co-inventor of the insane sport known as Parkour, which consists of moving freely in a natural area, i.e. climbing on buildings, leaping up and over whatever is in your way etc….). Leito is an ex-thug with a conscience and we meet him as he’s busy spoiling a drug lord's million euro stash of class A substances which surprisingly doesn’t go down all that well with the slimy crime boss. As luck would have it though at the very same time another hero is arising - Damien (Cyril Raffaelli), an undercover police officer, apprehends a mob lord in a shootout scene that is up there with the all time best…
And so it is that these two heroes are teamed up and given the virtually impossible mission to infiltrate notorious ‘no go area’ District 13, defuse a stolen neutron bomb – preferably rescuing Leito’s cute sister from the crime boss at the same time.
If you think this all sounds like just another excuse for lots of tasty big screen action violence, then you’re completely right. And District 13 really delivers big time on the action – the many fights are crunching affairs, peppered liberally with serious “ooh that’s got to hurt” moments. The stunts on the other hand are just amazing, this is the closest thing to ‘you’ll believe a man can fly’ sans red cape and kiss curl. Raffaelli and Belle redefine the art of being chased – there is pretty much nothing that can get in their way which is highly impressive but should also carry an enforceable ‘don’t try this at home’ warning.
It’s all completely over the top and instantly forgettable, but having said that it’s also much more entertaining than the many subtitled French films.

Darkmatters rating system (out of 5):
Action öööö – zut alors - this is the only reason to see the film!
Laughs öö – some laughs but not many
Horror öööö – as in 'arrggghh - I'm injured!'
Babes ööö – Dany Verissimo is a hot French chick...

Overall ööö (worth checking for the amazing action but no classic)


"the 'don't play with guns message really wasn't working"


"this crim character looks a LOT like my mate Alan Masters!"

Darkmatters: H O M E

Suck on this: Thumbsucker (2005)

"Ever felt like you're walking a path that others can't see?"

Thumbsucker (15)
Dir. Mike Mills

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

Q. How much pretentious indiemoviewank are we supposed to sit through in the Wake of Donnie Darko et al?
A. A never ending stream (thumb)suckers!!

Actually I’m just playing with ya – Thumbsucker is a joyful little comedy that owes a debt to most recent teen films and yet manages to walk it’s own path. It’s probably not for everyone but this adaptation of a novel by Walter Kirn is nice nough way to be reminded that you’re probably not alone in facing ‘the universal human condition of being less than totally satisfied with yourself’.

So here we have weido loser Justin Cobb (played with floppy haired conviction by Lou Taylor Pucci) - a 17-year-old who still sucks his thumb. This self digit sucking affliction makes him feel like an outcast from his family and peers, but in reality they seem to be far more screwed up than his thumb maligned dentistry… Dad Mike (Vincent D'Onofrio) can’t deal with his long-gone pro football dreams, Mum Audrey (Tilda ‘Narnia will be mine’ Swinton) may or may not be having it off with TV heartthrob Matt Schramm (a willfully cheesy Benjamin Bratt) and it’s possible that only kooky Zen guru orthodontist Dr. Lyman (Keanu ‘dude’ Reeves) can guide him on the true path towards some sort of social acceptance and any chance of ever getting laid!
Also formative in his development is his ‘debate class’ teacher Mr. Geary (Vince ‘serious role for once’ Vaughn), and when Justin substitutes Ritalin for his thumb and becomes a killer debater, confident girl befriender and all round smug asshole you are still kind of rooting for him…

Kelli Garner is the babe of the piece, a fine looking young lady who would be enough to make any man want to stop sucking himself – man she has got some fine assets! – but here she’s a cruel honey, the type that eats up men and spit out their broken hearts…

Thumbsucker is a decent little film – worth a couple of hours of your life… Especially if you’re a bit odd!?

Darkmatters rating system (out of 5):
Action ööö – teen angst and semi redemption
Laughs ööö – wry, deadpan humour
Horror ö – move along, there's nothing too grim (apart from one bloody scene where Swinton has to shove her fist up Benjamin Bratt's ass in order to retrieve some life threatening drugs!)
Babes öööö – Kelli Garner, v. v. v. hot!

Overall ööö1/2 (suck it and see)


"sucking thumbs is just the start..."

Darkmatters: H O M E