Dir. Mark Newton
Reviewed by Matt Adcock (agree or feedback: @Cleric20)
“HHHhhmmm – you’re an intelligent cop there Mr…”
Here’s an indie comic crime trip about an incompetent ‘Hit Team’. Meet Max (Myles McLane) and Ruthie (Emerald Robinson), assassins on a mission in L.A. to take down six targets in one day. It’s a fun premise played fully balls-out OTT stupid…
"I'm going on top!"
OK so the acting is universally terrible, the script is pretty terrible and the production values flat out suck – but if you stick with it past the unconvincing and generally cringe-worthy first hour, something odd happens and you might actually find yourself digging this brain-dead romp. And there was me thinking that they’d somehow missed a letter ‘s’ off the title!?
So anyway, thanks to the miracle of streaming, low-rent movies like this can find an audience and Mark Newton’s "Hit Team" is at the vanguard of ultra crappy but weirdly watchable new-wave flicks.
If you want to be generous (and I kinda do, after all, McLane supplied viewing for Darkmatters) – there are certainly things in "Hit Team" you just don’t get to see in most mainstream movies. Hit man with a penchant for necrophilia? Check. Guy having a full clip of ammo emptied into his balls? Yep. Goofy comic lines about whores, a$$holes and an ill-advised tick for the Crimelord Boss (Douglas Macpherson) who sings opera-style responses to his team - delivered with terrible timing? Oh yes.
"necessary plot exposition"
Also on hand are doofus cop partners Akeem (Roger Payano) and Cynthia (Anita Leeman) plus eyecandy sidekick for the boss, ‘Sprinkles’ (the gorgeous Melanie Camp). Oh and various assorted victims.
There’s a fair amount of violence, a ton of sexual innuendo and an unseasonable curse to non-expletive ratio in the dialogue but if you’re up for a fast-paced smirk-em-up then there is a beating heart of creativity in the bowels of this movie somewhere (sorry about the unfortunate medical metaphor there)!
"good cop / incompetent cop"
Overall, if you want to calibrate your appreciation of big-budget films, every now and then you need to witness what a willing bunch of creatives can do with dreams that outstrip their resources.
"Hit Team" could one day be looked back at as a cult classic, it just might not be in our generation’s time…
Out of a potential 5 you have to go with a Darkmatters:
(2.5 - putting the 'ass' into 'assassination' )
Awesomeness öö – there are scenes in this movie
Laughs ööö – you'll laugh in places if not throughout
Horror öö – some gunshot wounds n' stuff
Spiritual Enlightenment -öö - not a spiritual flick
In the US? Hit Team is available on YouTube Pay-Per-View at the link is below: