DARKMATTERS - The Mind of Matt

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Sunday, September 28, 2008

Film Review - Righteous Kill

Righteous Kill (15)

Dir. Jon Avnet

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

“There’s nothing wrong with a little shooting, as long as the right people get shot!?” In this case though it’s the film makers who should be in the firing line…

My name is Turk, I’m a no-nonsense cop who isn’t averse to breaking a few scumbag’s heads in the line of duty.

And my name is Rooster, I’m erm, also a no-nonsense cop who isn’t averse to breaking a few scumbag’s heads in the line of duty…

Turk – well, I’m a real badass, maverick cop and you’re gonna respect me cos I’m played by heavy-weight Oscar winner Robert De Niro!?

Rooster – huh, well, I’m also a real badass, maverick cop and I’m played by heavy-weight Oscar winner Al Pacino so who’s the daddy now?

You get the idea right, Righteous Kill is nothing if not a star vehicle for De Niro and Pacino, each waving their bits playing cop partners caught up in a serial killer case where the killer looks like being a cop. Sounds like a certain smash hit, bringing the two screen legends together in a movie for the first time since their sizzling riposte in Michael Mann’s classic ‘Heat’.

So good cop, bad cop, but is the film any cop? In a word ‘no’, Righteous Kill is a steaming shoddy embarrassment for all concerned, not least the viewer. On the evidence presented here director Avnet deserves to be banned from ever making another film, so criminal is his waste of the talent on offer. It made me want to weep seeing the two acting titans limping about without anything meaningful to do, spouting rubbish dialogue and treading a predictable, risible plot. I’d heard bad things about Righteous Kill but even setting my expectations to ‘low’ could not prepare me for quite how poor this was.

Words like ‘woeful’ and ‘lackluster’ kept popping into my mind while the vigilante killings of various criminals stumbled across the screen. It seems any perp acquitted of murder, drug dealing, child molestation etc on Turk and Rooster’s watch comes to a sticky end from the business end of a police issue weapon. Could one or both of them be responsible or are they being framed? You probably won’t even care after an hour of po-faced plodding and half hearted autopilot acting from all concerned. But however poor the majority of the film is, the supposed climax plunges to previously unexplored depths of pain inducing tedium.

You’ve been warned…

DARKMATTERS RATING SYSTEM (all ratings out of maximum 10 but '-' is bad whereas '+' is good):

Endorphin Stimulation: ö (1)
- Really very poor and un-engaging...

Tasty Action: öööö (4)
+ Some half hearted shootin...

Gratuitous Babeness: ööööööö (7)
+ Carla Gugino is quite foxy...

Mind Blight / Boredom: ööööööööö (9)
- Monkeys might fly out of my butt, but I still almost fell asleep...

Comedic Value: öööööö (6)
+ You might laugh at just how bad it is...

Arbitrary final rating: öö (2)
"Most people respect the badge, everyone respects the gun," but nobody respects a duff movie and that’s what Righteous Kill is.

"This guy's a gonna. Bit like our film careers if we make any more films like this..."

Liable to make you:
"bitterly regret going to see this..."

DM Poster Quote:
"See two old timers laughing all the way to the bank!"

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