Darkmatters Review: Prometheus

Prometheus (15)

Dir. Ridley Scott

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

“If we don't stop it, there won't be any home to go back to…”

Before the fateful events of the original Alien movie it seems that there were creatures from outer space tinkering with genetic DNA both on our planet and others.

Could these ‘Engineers’ have been the origins of life on Earth? If they were, who created them? And perhaps more importantly to fans of the Alien franchise, how and why did they come into contact with the acid blooded xenomorphic killing machines from the Alien films?

With Prometheus, Director Ridley ‘Alien and Blade Runner’ Scott sets about delivering some seriously cool, visually stunning and intriguingly thought provoking sci-fi, the like of which we have not witnessed for a long time.

"Love those quality space effects"

There are no Predators here and none of the crassness that the Alien vs Predator films have managed to sully the Alien franchise with either. No, Prometheus is something much more akin to the original Alien. The fate of the universe is in the balance again – because we humans can’t help poking our noses in when we find images in archaeological digs all over the Earth where ancient civilizations that shared no contact, somehow drew the same pictogram. Turns out it’s an invite from space…

The crew of the ill fated Prometheus (a scientific exploration ship named after the Greek Titan who purportedly brought fire to man) include feisty researcher Elizabeth Shaw (Noomi Rapace), synthetic human android David (Michael Fassbender), icy corporate type Meredith (Charlize Theron) and maverick captain Janeck (Idris Elba). Each are on board for different reasons but all want to discover if the alien life forms who left us the invite are still waiting for us to visit. 

"for forgetting your spacesuit you'll have to fight the alien in your pants"

Scott does a fantastic job of re-shuffling the basic elements from his classic Alien film – including Rapace as the strong female who must pit wits against an alien foe wearing just her underwear. But Prometheus is less a straight horror prequel and more as a fascinating glimpse into a fantastic exploration of the Alien universe.

There is plenty of meticulous tense build up, some seriously icky human / alien interaction and a nice overall sense of creeping dread. Don’t go expecting gung-ho man versus alien gunplay (although there’s plenty of room left for a second Prometheus film that could take the ‘Aliens’ route).

Effective, compulsive and altogether a fitting addition to the Alien cannon, this is freaky sci-fi at it’s best.

Highly recommended.

Out of a potential 5 you have to go with a Darkmatters:

ööööö - In space, no-one can hear your jaw drop.

5 – Classy heavy duty alien adventuring

Awesomeness ööööö – some fantastic scenes, iconic...

Laughs ö – occasional dry wit

Horror öööö – strong stomachs required (literally)

Babes öööö – Rapace looks great, Theron wears a mean jumpsuit

Spiritual Enlightenment ööö – are we human? or are we dancer?

"fun time Prometheus"

"Theron - out of this world"

Darkmatters Review: Diablo 3

Diablo III (PC / Mac - and rumoured PS3)

Developed by Blizzard

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

Welcome gamer – come with me to Sanctuary, a wild and wonderful dark fantasy world where angels and demons clash, and the fate of mankind is in the hands of heroes of various classes…

Say goodbye to your life… The high heavens themselves need saving - time to step up!!

It’s been 11 long years since the excellent Diablo II turned otherwise normal people into fully geeked out fantasy game fans whose whole existence was consumed with finding and upgrading the be possible loot, defeating the lords of hell and generally levelling up as much as possible. It’s a fever, a compulsion, an addiction – testament to this is the fact that Diablo III is the most pre-ordered PC game in history!?

Now Diablo is back – back to re-enslave fans of the first two games and to potentially bring on board thousands of new players. Diablo III takes place some twenty years after the events of Diablo II – Non Player Character (NPC) Deckard Cain and his niece Leah find themselves in – the place where Diablo himself first walked the earth… Tristram Cathedral is struck by a mysterious star falling from the sky which strikes the Cathedral, creating a deep crater into which Deckard disappears.

Your player character, the Nephalem (although obviously you name them), arrives in New Tristram to investigate the fallen star. Kicking enemy ass with your starting powers / weapons and building them up via the sweet ‘quick’ levelling of the early game sees you on a mission to rescue Cain and finding out the fallen object is a person.

Seems you’re not the only person interested in the fallen person – a witch named Maghda muscles in and provides you with some great mini boss fights including old enemies from the Diablo world such as ‘The Butcher.’

The plot sees the world under threat from demon lords Belial and Azmodan – pals of Diablo himself and everything depends on you to stop them... Of course there's the chance to kick the big guy's ass too!?

"just a nice walk in the park - mind the zombies"

The first 2 Diablo games and expansion pack Lord of Destruction set new standards in the ‘hack n slash RPG’ genre and fans will be pleased because Diablo III keeps all the best elements from its predecessors, including the maddeningly addictive ‘just one more level up’ classic gameplay.

Graphically Diablo III doesn’t try to compete with games like Skyrim – the action here is all from an isometric camera angle and the gameplay is smooth and silky combo of mouse n keyboard – there is even a Diablo special edition mouse which you can buy. It all looks nice enough though and has some great weather effects – backed up by wonderful sound effects. You’re likely to feel a real chill when wandering through a desolate marsh and a thunder storm breaks over you!?

Creating new characters is easy and fun – and the 5 classes available from the start are barbarian wizard, witch doctor, monk and demon hunter, It is worth creating at least one of each and experiencing the different gaming styles they bring before deciding which you’re going to invest many hours / days / months of your life in leveling up all the way.

Every player starts in normal difficulty – which you have to beat to unlock harder versions, but beat the game on normal and you can step up to play on nightmare / hell and finally inferno levels. What is completely awesome about Diablo III is that playing on ‘hardcore’ mode – which is available once a character hits level 10 means that there are no respawns, virtual death is ‘real’ in that if your hardcore character dies it is game over and that character is archived as a ghost – never to walk the world of Diablo as a player again!? It really adds a massive amount of tension to the game, especially when playing with other players via the cool co-op Battlenet system.

Playing through the story again and again is not a chore either as much of the world and side-quests are randomized each time. There is always better loot out there somewhere for you to find or craft… And when in co-op, don’t worry as the loot you find will be held on your version of the world and each player will see different loot!? A lovely idea, which stops people nicking all the best stuff.

There is even an online auction house where you can spend in game gold on rare items sold by other players (or sell your own). Eventually there will be a real money version too along with a player vs player add on, not to mention the potential downloadable additions which are likely to bring new classes and missions.

"choose your hero!"

Diablo III is awesome and takes the Diablo franchise to a new level. Fast to pick up and play, seriously hard to quit - Blizzard should be applauded for bringing fantasy geeks the game that they’ve always wanted!!

Out of a potential 5 you have to go with a Darkmatters:

ööööö

5 – Fantasy hack n slash perfection...

"Angel cosplay - inspired by Diablo III"

Resistance: Burning Skies review PS VITA

Resistance: Burning Skies (PS VITA)

Developed by Nihilistic

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

New Jersey fire fighter and National Guardsman Tom Riley, is about to have a bad day… He’ll come face to face with the brutal Chimeran alien invasion force in this blistering shooter built from the ground up for PS VITA (PlayStation Vita System). Bad news for Tom, but great news for fans of shooting aliens in the head!

The latest installment in the acclaimed Resistance franchise focuses on an all-new mission that parallels and complements the existing Resistance storyline, as Tom Riley rises from an everyday hero to a legend of the Resistance.

But does it work on the VITA? In a word ‘yes’… Being the first ever portable first-person shooter with true dual-analog control, Resistance Burning Skies is the closest thing yet to console-quality shooting in the palm of your hand.

The single player is fun and not over complicated but where I was really impressed was the competitive 8-player online multiplayer across 6 unique maps and 3 modes (with probably more on the way via DLC).

Twin analogue sticks are what you need for a ‘real’ shooter experience – and that’s what sets the VITA apart from the any other hand held games machine – there’s no way you could replicate the run and gun mechanics as well on an ipad or even a 3DS (even with the add on extra hub).

"in play - multiplayer"

The Resistance mythos is all well and good here – with new Chimeran forces to blow away and some killer climactic boss fights. First person shooter veterans will probably blast through the single-player campaign anything up to 6 hours, popping trophies as they go.

Multiplayer is super fun though and will keep you playing / leveling up for a long time!!

Graphically this portable Resistance destroys the PSP version but isn’t quite up to the PS3 trilogy but it’s not far off…

Overall, this is a must buy for VITA owns wanting to add another decent shooter to the already available (and lots of fun) UNIT 13.

"make up go aarrrggghhhh"

The future for VITA is bright – bring on Killzone and Call of Duty, the hardware is just waiting for them!!

Out of a potential 5 you have to go with a Darkmatters:

öööö

4 – Kill them all (wherever you are!)

"Early draft Resistance Burning Skies hero..."

Darkmatters Review: Gravity Rush

Gravity Rush (PS VITA exclusive)

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

Every once in a while a game comes along that changes everything…

Gravity Rush is such a game.

Finally Sony have a truly groundbreaking, original title to showcase their wonder hand held VITA – and Gravity Rush delivers big time. This game is a creative work of art – where a girl named Kat finds she has fantastic powers, can influence gravity itself and must use it to save her world.

"sideways is the new up"

Set in an uber cool steampunk city that stretches into the clouds - airships circle, people bustle around trying to ignore the freaky energy portal that looms over the city threatening to bring destruction to all… Kat (and her pet cat) is tasked with saving the day by leaping into the sky, bursting forward onto whatever wall / roof / vehicle she can see. It’s a gaming ‘rush’ that brings a new and glorious way to move around – it is fast to pick up and so satisfying that you can happily spend hours just blasting around the city not even taking on any of the story or side missions.

Kat’s skills can be upgraded by collecting crystals which are all round the city, gravity manipulation is just one of Kat’s powers, she can kick ass in combat and buff her health and other stats too, It’s a nice and very intuitive level up mechanism which gives the game a good RPG feel.

"rival girl - with her crow"

Supposedly inspired by the Xbox 360 game ‘Crackdown’ Gravity Rush manages to trump that game even though it’s a hand held – but this is a new breed of hand held game, one that nothing on the 3DS or PSP has ever come close to achieving. Graphically Gravity Rush hits like a fully fledged anime film – gorgeous, eye-popping and jaw dropping, this is a game that you’ll want to show non VITA owning pals just to see the looks of disbelief on their faces.

Battling spirits, collecting items, beating challenges and working through the main story missions is great on the go. You can tackle them in bite-sized chunks but the whole game delivers c20hours of fun and there is already downloadable content on the way from Japan.

"Fan art inspiration"

The combat is great – especially as you build up Kat’s powers so you can use gravity to attack by throwing boxes, barrels and rocks at opponents. Boss battles are challenging and there are many customization options. I have to admit to being utterly blown away by this game, it’s the only VITA game to get a look in since the highly addictive Disgaea 3 launched.

Take Crackdown, amp up the gravity defying antics to the point where you could be playing Pilotwings – mix in some cool combat from the likes of Infamous and collecting from Mario games… Gravity Rush is an instant classic and a must buy for fans of quality games – this is a game you absolutely need to experience!!

"Steampunk FTW"

Out of a potential 5 you have to go with a Darkmatters:

ööööö

5 – The Ultimate hand-held RUSH!!

"Kat plus cat"

PS3 Sorcery Magic: Recreated in Real Life...

OOoohhh and Aaahhhh

Matt Adcock

To celebrate the release of Sorcery™ for PlayStation 3, Sony Computer Entertainment Europe and TV scientist Steve Mould have created a series of films investigating 'The Science Behind the Magic', that recreate magical spells from the game through scientific experiments...

Sounds wacky but is actually a lot of fun (as is the game - Darkmatters review soon!) 

Next up - wonder if he can recreate some of the awesome magic from Diablo III (Darkmatters review soon!)

Random link - Rachel Cook - magical in 11:14:

Darkmatters Review: Men In Black 3

Men In Black 3 (PG)

Dir. Barry Sonnenfeld

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

“I am getting too old for this. I can only imagine how YOU feel.”

Yep the Men In Black are back, back to save the world from the alien scum who would seek to dominate us and turn humans into their slaves… But their not getting any younger, oh wait, actually one of them – Agent K (Tommy Lee Jones) is, as here we get two of our favourite surly Agent K’s. The other K – from 1969 - is played by Josh Brolin in a cracking turn where he really channels the voice and characteristics of Jones.

The plot sees a ruthless alien criminal named Boris The Animal (Jemaine Clement) escaping from our maximum-security jail (on the moon) and jumping back in time to kill Agent K in 1969. This alters the timeline, changing the Agency and placing the Earth in danger. Only Agent J (Will Smith) can save us and so he must travel back in time to 1969 to before the murder and work with the young Agent K to save him, the Agency, the Earth.

It’s hard to believe that it has been almost 4 years since Will Smith graced the screen - he's back on good from here as Agent J, charming and witty as ever. His rapport with both Agent Ks is great and carries the fairly obvious plot. Directly Barry “Wild Wild West’ Sonnenfeld get’s his mojo back after the forgettable Men In Black 2 and delivers a good time with part 3.

"this is a gorgeous scene, that will stay with you"

The alien special effects are suitably incredible and pretty revolting in places – there are some good jump moments too (my youngest son James actually leapt of his seat at one point). Being a Sony film there are several product placements such as Agent J obviously playing his PS3 and a kid enjoying the new Sony Move game ‘Sorcery’ but there is enough good stuff crammed into the running time to make this a fun film to catch on the big screen.

There are some great in-jokes such as Andy Warhol turning out to be an undercover MIB agent and some meaningful moments like a peek into just why the Agent K / Agent J relationship is so strong.

Men In Black 3 puts the franchise back on track after the lackluster part 2, it feels like a good way to end the series (although let’s face it, if they make enough cash there will likely be a part 4 unless they use a neutralizer on the production team).

"MIB in action"

Out of a potential 5 you have to go with a Darkmatters:

ööö - solid alien popping comedy thrills

3 – back, just in time to save our future (and the franchise)

Awesomeness ööö – couple of memorable scenes

Laughs ööö – delivers some laughs!

Horror öö – icky aliens in places / jump shocks

Babes öö – Emma Thompson isn't getting any younger (Alice Eve plays her younger self)

Spiritual Enlightenment ööö – save the day, whatever the cost...

"Alice Eve - looks good"

Darkmatters Review: The Dictator

The Dictator (15)

Dir. Larry Charles

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

Aladeen my friends – welcome to the nation state of Wadiya, I am you benevolent Dictator Admiral General Aladeen, and it is I who keep everything Aladeen in this great place.

The Dictator (Sacha Baron Cohen) breaks from the mockumentary style of the hilariously provocative Borat and the amusingly offensive Brüno – and delivers a slick fish out of water romantic comedy that hits with a powerful political subtext.

Starting in the fictitious North African country Wadiya where General Aladeen rules with an infantile mind and an iron fist. He is Indulged with his every wish – including sexual liaisons with nearly every high profile female (and some males) on the planet. But even obscene affluence can’t prevent him having to travel to the USA in order to appease the United Nations who are sniffing around his rogue nuclear weapons programme.

"off with his head!"

In the land of the free the General falls from power after being left for dead and usurped by a dim body double backed by a traitorous Official Tamir (Ben Kingsley). Then to make matters worse he meets his love match in an eco-warrior feminist named Zoey (Anna Faris), who owns an over the top green shop staffed by comically stereosocial misfits and oppressed foreigners.

How will the idiot Dictator survive? Can he possibly get his position back and prevent the plans for Wadiya to be made into a free democracy? The new proposed political constitution for the country though is simply a front for oil sales - hhhmm, that’s a bit far fetched right? Surely no countries are being manipulated by force or politics to part with their natural resources…

Baron Cohen brings a ton of weapons grade cultural critique comedy, including unforgettable scene such as the mother of all misunderstandings during a helicopter tour where a white American couple think Aladeen is planning his own 911 attack.

"promo shot for the film - tough gig"

The Dictator is as wildly un-politically correct as we’ve come to expect from Cohen and completely sexist too (e.g. Zoey is mercilessly referred to as a hairy little hobbit boy due to her unshaved armpits and lack of boobs). There are also many unnecessary gross out moments too but overall despite the odd misstep the quality laughs come thick and fast enough – and pack enough political barb – to make this a worthy addition to Cohen’s cannon of films and the new benchmark for comedies in 2012.

Out of a potential 5 you have to go with a Darkmatters:

öööö - Totally Aladeen, if you don't Aladeen this film you are Aladeen!!

4 – dissenting opinions and voices on this film will be hushed up!

Awesomeness öööö – unforgettable comedy scenes

Laughs öööö – an unauthorised non government sanctioned laugh riot

Horror ööö – decapitated head played for laughs!? yep!

Babes ööö – bieng Aladeen has its benefits!

Spiritual Enlightenment öö – Aladeen wills it...

"Anna Faris - looking for a good time!?"

Darkmatters Review: The Raid

The Raid (18)

Dir. Gareth Evans

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

“We did not come here to do good…”

Caution: This film contains unhealthy levels of AWESOME

Deep in the heart of Jakarta’s slums lies an impenetrable safe house for the world’s most dangerous killers and gangsters.

Until now, the run-down urban apartment block has been considered untouchable to even the bravest of police. But cloaked under the cover of pre-dawn darkness, an elite SWAT team is tasked with raiding the safe house in order to take down the notorious drug lord that runs it – with extreme prejudice…

"death is close..."

Hard as nails and flexible as an Olympic Gymnast - Iko Uwais stars as Rama, a member of the SWAT team, who quickly sees the apartment block turn into a mass police grave as the tooled up criminals demonstrate just why no rival gang has ever survived trying to assault the building. The block is such a festering hive of scum and villainy - sanctuary to killers, gangs, rapists and thieves seeking accommodation in the one place they know they cannot be touched by the law.

So that’s the plot of The Raid, and the simple premised is perfect as the backdrop to some of the most frantic, brutal battle action and violence ever to hit the screen. Think Die Hard only with crunching martial arts fights that stand alongside anything you’ve ever seen – the thrill inducing, breathless mix of action is pulse pounding adrenalin heaven for fans of films like Hard Boiled or Ong Bak or indeed the Die Hard films.

"this way for the Britain's Got Talent - armed rehearsals"

Everything just ‘works’ really well here – the grimy visual look adds to the squalid feel of the battleground, whilst the jump cut camerawork cracks a visual punch harder than the fists and feet that connect with the combatant’s bodies. The Raid borders on action perfection throughout and deserves to be entered into the all time hall of action movie fame.

If you’ve ever enjoyed a goodies vs baddies film and can stomach some serious gunplay and righteous beatings then you should make The Raid the next film you see.

Out of a potential 5 you have to go with a Darkmatters:

ööööö - Five Star Ass Kicking Fun!

5 – blows other action films away in style

Awesomeness ööööö – unforgettable action violence

Laughs öö – not really a laugh riot

Horror öööö – nasty in places, lots of 'ooh that's got to hurt' moments

Spiritual Enlightenment ööö – somethings are worth fighting for

"the Call of Duty training paid off in the field"

Make someone happy (me) - check out my novel - click this banner...

Darkmatters Review: Piranha 3DD

Piranha 3DD (18) 

 Dir. John Gulager

Reviewed by Matt Adcock (a version of this review also available at The Luton News)

One, two, three four five, once I caught a fish alive.

Six, seven, eight nine ten, then I ARRRGggghhhh the little fish are biting me!!

If you ventured to see Piranha 3D (the remake of Joe Dante’s 1978 horror comedy) then you’ll probably recall that the mean little fishes attacked loads of good looking bathers on a Spring Break at Lake Victoria…

Now it seems that the toothy menace have swarmed through underground lakes and pipes to arrive at a tacky water park called ‘The Big Wet’ where bathing suits are optional... Cue more bloodthirsty piranha on human munchings – all in rather pointless 3D again.

Say what you like about Piranha 3D but it was a well-made and generally fun horror chomp-em-up which boasted a great cast and a highly gratuitous naked cameo from Kelly Brook. It also inspired a half decent knock off Shark Night 3D which was basically Jaws in the everglades.

Piranha 3DD isn’t blessed with anything like the budget of the last film and it really shows – there are copious ‘filler’ shots of murky underwater weeds gently wafting in the undercurrent for goodness sake – these really weaken the overall experience and don’t even serve to highlight the limited horror action as this also feels paired down from before.

"my what big teeth you have..."

Director John Gulager was responsible for the cult horror classic Feast but he’s all at sea with this sequel, which is cheap, nasty and fails to satisfy. The best thing about Piranha 3DD is a well judged cameo by David Hasselhoff who plays himself and gets the best lines including the worryingly accurate ‘Welcome to rock bottom!’ which could have been an ad-lib.

The slight plot sees the build up to the low rent fish attack on the water park as an excuse to shoehorn in some sporadic strong bloody horror violence and gore, graphic nudity, sexual content, bad language and drug use. You feel sorry for the cast who include the gorgeous Katrina Bowden, not because they’re characters are likely to get eaten but that this poor film will forever be on their CVs…

"this waterpark brings people and fishes together"

Piranha 3DD is seriously tacky and is unlikely to please anyone. It simply doesn’t do enough to satisfy fans of the first film and certainly won’t win any new followers. I can’t recommend this on any level but if you really must see it be sure to lower your expectations suitably.


Out of a potential 5 you have to go with a Darkmatters:

ö - the words 'oh dear' spring to mind but extra star for having The Hoff in it

2 – one of the worst films of 2012 (so far)

Awesomeness öö – lame effort fumbles the franchise

Laughs öö – unintentional bad acting, couple of funnies with The Hoff

Horror öööö – some serious gore but not as well done as original

Babes öööö – Bowden is absolutely gorgeous (as always)!

Spiritual Enlightenment 0 – absolutely none

"why am I in this film again?"

"Katrina Bowden - looking good in FHM too"

Darkmatters Review - American Pie: Reunion

American Pie: Reunion (15)

Dir. Jon Hurwitz, Hayden Schlossberg

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

“Were we just as obnoxious as these kids back in the day?”

“Not us, our generation, we were more mature.”

So who’s up for another slice of American Pie? Sure it’s slightly over the ‘best before’ date but hey it’s been 13 years since the original film.

For those who haven’t partied with the lovable loser Jim (Jason Biggs), nice but dim Oz (Chris Klein), enigmatic mum-seducing Finch (Eddie Kaye Thomas), average bloke Kevin (Thomas Ian Nicholas), and maverick party guy Stifler (Seann William Scott) – the gang are reunited for their 13 yr high school reunion.

So what has life brought for the gang? Well Jim is still married to Michelle (Alyson Hannigan) and they have a little boy but are finding that parenthood is killing their sex lives and it’s taking a toll on their relationship.

Oz has made it as a big shot sportscaster with a supermodel girlfriend Mia (the super hot Katrina Bowden), Finch has been ‘finding himself’ by globetrotting and Kevin is a stay at home husband.

But one of the guys hasn’t changed at all – yes Stifler – he’s working as a temp and still causing offense everywhere he goes. He’s also still the funniest thing in American Pie universe by a mile.

American Pie: Reunion is a massively nostalgic flick that refers to the 1999 antics again and again, which is OK for a while but gets a little one note after a bit. Having said that, if you loved the original then this will certainly please you as it is every bit as crude, filthy and sporadically funny as before.

The level of nudity, swearing and sexual references have been upped considerably – which made the Church Leader I saw this with very uncomfortable… But if you’re a fan of such things then you’ll almost certainly laugh out loud a few times thanks to the funnies provided by the Harold & Kumar team who direct here.

Stifler steals every scene he’s in with his unhinged sexist fratboy charisma, when he’s not pooing in someone’s beer cooler he’s flirting with every female with a pulse. The others are really just supporting cast but they all seem to be having a blast and it’s hard not to get carried along for the ride.

It’s not big or very clever but as I said, if you’ve seen the other American Pie films then you kind of owe it to yourself to see how it all ends (although if this makes enough cash they’ll probably make more!?).

Out of a potential 5 you have to go with a Darkmatters:

ööö

3 – Take a mark off if you've not seen the original(s)

Awesomeness öö – nothing spectacular

Laughs öööö – rude and silly but funny too

Horror öö – Stifler gets into some dubious stuff

Babes ööööö – Bowden is absolutely gorgeous but there are other hotties too!

Spiritual Enlightenment öö – growing up can suck but is worth it?

The AP crew... as they were!?

Katrina Bowden - all good from behind...