The Final Destination 3D (15)
Dir. David R. Ellis - who previously brought you Snakes on a Plane and Final Destination 2
Reviewed by Matt Adcock (watched with a crowd of screaming teens)
ONE WORD SUMMATION: deathfatemirth
If you go down to the NASCAR today you better go in disguise, if you go down to the NASCAR today you’ll never believe your eyes… For every spectator that ever there was will soon be toast for certain because, today’s the day that death himself comes visiting…
So on what should have been a fun-filled day at the races, fresh faced Nick O'Bannon (Bobby Campo) takes his good looking pals to see some NASCAR action but everything changes when he has a horrific premonition. Through a freak sequence of events, multiple race cars crash and shower flaming debris into the stands killing both his friends and a select bunch of random stereotypes (a racist, an attractive all American mom, a good hearted security guard etc). An understandably panicked Nick persuades his super fit girlfriend, Lori (Shantel VanSanten), his friends Janet (Haley Webb) and Hunt (Nick Zano), plus the bunch of doomed stereotypes to leave...escaping seconds before Nick's vision becomes a terrible reality.
So having cheated death, and not having seen Final Destination 1 – 3, the group believe that they have been given a second chance of life, but no, actually they’ve all just volunteered to be bumped off in gruesome, imaginative ways for our viewing pleasure. The Final Destination films only really exist to show us nasty ways to die carried out on the big screen – now in full 3D. Take your pick from various impalings, getting diced by a wire fence, having a very bad time in a carwash or getting minced by escalators etc etc. It feels like the writers have as much fun setting up possible death scenarios as we audience do trying to guess how the next unfortunate is going to buy it.
"maybe taking the stairs would have been safer?"
Director David R. ‘Final Destination 2’ Ellis has form for this bad taste but lots of fun horror / comedy stuff and he embraces the 3D technology whole heartedly. No puncture wound, neck snap or blood splatter is carried out without at least something flying out towards the viewer. I saw at least a couple of people visibly duck or recoil as the special effects appeared to burst right off the screen.
The Final Destination is a pure disposable rollercoaster ride of thrills and spills. If you’ve a hankering to see good looking people meet grisly ends then step right up.
Darkmatters final rating of: ööö 1/2 (3.5 out of 5 – effective deaths in 3D... if that's what you want, that's what you get!)
Darkmatters quick reference guide:
Action 4 (suitably grim when it comes!)
Style 3 (dying never looked so good)
Babes 4 (Shantel VanSanten is a Sports Illustrated swimsuit model)
Comedy 3.5 (Nice dark humour)
Horror 4 (you'll cringe!)
Spiritual Enlightenment 4 (life you're life as if every moment was your last?)
Darkmatters review of Final Destination 3
"see Miss VanSanten 'doing' Tatu with Mischa Barton soon"