5ive Girls - the 'devil made me do it' review

5ive Girls (15)

Dir. Warren P. Sonoda

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

“5 girls vs. 2000 demons. You do the math…” says the tag line for this sensational, hard hitting investigative piece of cinematic – - - erm, nonsense.
So by ‘doing the maths’ I was ready to see each of the five troublesome teens take on 400 demons each in single combat – but it seems it’s not quite as simple as that…

5ive Girls stars the dependable Ron ‘Hell Boy’ Perlman as Father Drake, who runs St Mark’s ‘staunchly over the top Catholic school for naughty girls’ along with hot but ever-so-strict Headmistress Miss Pearce (Amy Lalonde) – she wields a mean long ruler…

The five girls themselves are – in order of tastiness - Alex (Jennifer Miller), Connie (Tasha May), Cecilia (Terra Vnesa), Mara (Jordan Madley) and Leah (Barbara Mamabolo) are each upcoming actresses and acquit themselves well. Plus an honourable mention should go to Krysta Carter who plays Elizabeth, a girl who is taken by the demon baddie right at the start of the flick – which kind of forms a large part of the plot later too.

Basically it’s all a big rip off of other teens with powers movies like The Craft except that this one doesn’t take itself too seriously and ends up being much cooler and more fun than many of its bigger budget predecessors.

The 2000 demons of the tag line are handily rolled into one i.e. Legion – yep, the one who Jesus cast out into a herd of swine in the Gospel of Matthew (and who popped up again in Exorcist III) seems he’s still getting film work at least. As a Christian I am always interested to see how the forces of good and evil are depicted on screen, especially when their biblical characters (however minor) like Legion.

Writer director Warren P. Sonoda has lots of fun with his exploitative set up… Virgin Catholic schoolgirls fighting evil – each blessed with a special power (kind of a supernatural spin on X Men). What’s not to love?

5ive Girls is totally trashy horror that presses enough right buttons to make it worth a look if you like the idea of watching chicks battling a serious evil demonic force that posses all… Probably not one to watch with your mum!

DARKMATTERS RATING SYSTEM (all ratings out of maximum 10):

Endorphin Stimulation: ööööööö (7)
- Much better than expected, cracks along a pace

Tasty Action: ööööööö (7)
- All bets are off as to who will survive this shocker

Gratuitous Babeness: öööööööö (8)
- Five for the price of one… actually there are at least 7 attractive females here

Mind Blight / Boredom: ööööö (5)
- The low budget shows but doesn’t completely gimp the film thanks to smart scripting

Comedic Value: ööööö (5)
- Sporadically funny moments

Arbitrary final rating: öööööö (6)
- A decent effort by a director who might be worth tracking

Liable to make you:
"Say your prayers before going near any schools"

DM Poster Quote:
“5ive Girls want to play with you, especially your head!"


"see, I wasn't kidding about the Headmistress and her ruler of punishment"

Darkmatters: H O M E