Southland Tales - the 'world ends with a bang' review

Southland Tales (15)

Dir. Richard Kelly

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

After a serious week of bible study and generally getting into a metaphysical space wherewith to commune better with God… at a place called SPRING HARVEST based in Butlins no less in Skegness even… I can tell you right away that the heady mix of spiritual teaching, dangerous water flumes, nasty junk food and chav accommodation left me ready to have my mind blown wide open in a new and dangerous way…

So I called to the Lord for a film to watch and lo, He did answer – He answered in a mysterious way… by meeting me in Morrisons and guiding me to their limited new DVD release section and in an act of unsurpassed divine wonderfulness – there it was that I found Southland Tales. This is a film that I’d wanted to see for some time (being a big fan of Kelly’s Donnie Darko) and having had my curiosity peaked by the critical mauling that it received at the Cannes Film Festival in 2006.

Did the Lord really want to speak to me through a film about a Porn Star named Krysta (Sarah Michelle Gellar) who might be psychic, a confused missing actor (Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson) and a rift in the time space continuum which may be responsible for multiple individuals and the end of the world? – it did indeed seem so… and this despite the intellectually challenged gibbering shop assistant who forgot to put the DVD in the case so I had to go back and slap her about a little for her mistake…
So I leapt into the incomprehensible, self-indulgent, fairly long but not too long universe of Southland Tales... It was a everything I had hoped and feared and more. There’s no easy way to describe the plot so I’m not going to bother, there is so much packed into it though - ice cream vans packed with weaponry for sale, a crazy large zeppelin and assorted military vehicles powered by a new energy source ‘fluid karma’, guns that can shoot around corners, TS Eliot and American politics, Justin Timberlake reading the book of Revelation whilst manning a huge computer controlled gun emplacement… A killer soundtrack which notched up some of my all time favourite tracks like Wave of Mutilation [UK Surf Version] by The Pixies backed up by other quality artists like Jane's Addiction, Black Rebel Motorcycle Club and The Killers.



The film is amazing, a megaton sensory explosion of ideas and the film isn’t even the end or should I say beginning? You see Kelly being such a cool guy – a guy after my own heart / Darkmatters vision… He’s only gone and created 3 graphic novels which form prequels to the film, filling in delicious details of the three days leading up to the events of the film itself. The graphic novels (known as ‘Two Roads Divide, Fingerprints and The Mechanicals) are excellent – written by Kelly and illustrated in some fine style by Brett Weldele… worth getting even if you never watch the film!

Revelation 22:5 - For It Will Never Be Night Again, And They Would Not Need Lamp Light Or Sunlight, For the Lord God Will Be Shining On Them... And They Shall Reign Forever and Ever...

– see that Spring Harvest stuff sinks in!!



"Sarah Michelle Gellar... as a porn star? crumbs..."


DARKMATTERS RATING SYSTEM (all ratings out of maximum 10):

Endorphin Stimulation: ööööööö (9)
- Amazing and strange, awesome and mind melting, like nothing ever seen before

Tasty Action: öööööööö (8)
- Enough sporadic violence and tension to keep you on edge

Gratuitous Babeness: öööööööö (8)
- Sarah Michelle Gellar is still hot

Mind Blight / Boredom: ööööööö (7)
- Never dull but it might blight your mind!!

Comedic Value: öööööööö (8)
- Very funny, darkly comic , superb really

Arbitrary final rating: ööööööööö (9)
- The world ends with a bang... You won’t want to miss it!

Liable to make you:
"pray for more from this talented writer / director"

DM Poster Quote:
“America takes a nuclear overload in the butt - nothing will be the same"

Click here to read: When Matt met Sarah Michelle Gellar

Darkmatters: H O M E