Star Wars - Total Film has unseen pics!!

"we need more buns"


"The dark side in effect?"

"Fly the friendly skies..."

Total Film has some quality rarely seen Star Wars pics - like those above...

Click here to see em

or click here to see Leia in her slave girl glory

Film Review - Bedtime Stories

Bedtime Stories (PG)

Dir. Adam Shankman

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

2008 ends with a bang as the year’s most all round family pleasing fantasy effort rocks up to cinemas making far fetched children’s bedtime stories come to life.
In a brave move by Disney they have teamed up comedy goofball Adam Sandler with Brit shock comedian Russell Brand for their big Christmas movie. It might sound like a recipe for disaster but against all odds Bedtime Stories really works and director Adam ‘Cheaper By The Dozen 2’ Shankman manages to somewhat redeem his previous crimes against cinema with this genuinely good fun romp. So we have Skeeter Bronson (Adam Sandler) the immature but hardworking handyman at a swanky hotel that used to be run by his dad. Due to a twist of fate he is saddled with looking after his niece Bobbi and nephew Patrick (Laura Ann Kesling and Jonathan Morgan Heit) and all sorts of fun ensues when the crazy bedtime stories he tells them begin to come true in real life.Sure there is a predictable romantic subplot and lots of the comedy moments are telegraphed miles in advance but Sandler goes about his slapstick role with gusto and real heart. Russell Brand is surprisingly good as Mickey – Bronson’s best pal who also works at the hotel and suffers from a comedic sleep panic disorder but even he is upstaged by a goggle eyed guinea pig named Bugsy.
Bedtime Stories makes good use of it’s ‘anything can happen and you’re only limited by your imagination’ idea taking fantasy spins through the Wild West, a medieval castle and a messy outer space showdown. The kids are suitably adorable, the supporting cast are effective, especially Keri Russell as Jill ‘the love interest’ and the lovely Teresa Palmer as the spoilt babe daughter of the hotel owner Violet Nottingham. Of course there are baddies on offer in the form of underhand work rival Kendall (Guy Pearce) and his devious sidekick Aspen (Lucy Lawless). There are some lovely throw away touches such as a bright red Ferrari horse and Russell popping up as mermaid but pick of the bunch is Band’s robot alter ego – he could be C3PO’s long lost brother!
Hardened sceptics and Sandler haters might balk at such a machine tooled Disney feel good production but when it is done this well, there really isn’t any reason not to enjoy some fantasy kids dream wish fulfillment.

Happy Christmas!

Arbitrary final rating: öööööööö (8)

Film Review - Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa

Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa (PG)

Dir. Eric Darnell and Tom McGrath

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

It’s a jungle down in your local cinema this week as a crazy bunch of New York City's Central Park Zoo escapees are back on the lose. It’s been three years since a funny series misadventures saw Alex the lion (Ben Stiller), Marty the zebra (Chris Rock), Melman the giraffe (David Schwimmer) and Gloria the hippo (Jada Pinkett Smith) washed up on the isle of Madagascar. Also back is the loopy Julien XIII (Sacha Baron Cohen), self proclaimed king of the lemurs, who decides to accompany the heroes on an ill fated attempted flight back to the Big Apple. The first moral of this sequel story is to never fly ‘Penguin Air’ because although they manage to get airborne, it isn’t long before the plane crash-lands in an African animal reserve. And would you believe it, this happens to be the exact reserve from where Alex grew up… so it’s not long before he’s reunited with his dad Zuba (Bernie Mac) and his mum (Sherri Shepherd). But the happy reunion is cut short thanks to devious Makunga (Alec Baldwin) – Zuba’s brother who has obviously been watching the Lion King because he engineers a pitfall which could see Alex immediately banished from the pride.
There’s more trouble coming from hard as nails Grandma (Elisa Gabrielli), the elderly lady who beat the living daylights out of Alex when they met in the first film, who by coincidence is on an African safari and not happy to see the ‘naughty kitty’ again.
Other unresolved issues left from the first movie such as Melman’s slightly creepy infatuation with Gloria are also explored when she becomes the attention of affection from Moto Moto the male hippo stud of the watering hole.
The scene stealing penguins are the pick of the wild bunch again, led as before by Skipper (co-director Tom McGrath), they take to robbing the local tourists in order to secure parts with which to try to rebuild the plane – and employ a team of funny monkeys to do the labour (thanks to their having opposable thumbs).
Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa is a fun if forgettable addition to the series, the quality cast, witty writing and occasionally impressive CGI artwork certainly make this a watchable all age treat. It’s no Shrek and won’t give Pixar animations any sleepless nights but there was enough here to keep my 8 year old son happy and I must confess to being pleasantly entertained too.

DARKMATTERS RATING SYSTEM (all ratings out of maximum 10 but '-' is bad whereas '+' is good):

Endorphin Stimulation: ööööööö (7)
+ Animal magic -ish

Tasty Action: öööööö (6)
+ slap that stick

Gratuitous Babeness: öööö (4)
+ Gloria is chunky

Mind Blight / Boredom: öööööö (6)
+ Even eight year olds sat through it

Comedic Value: ööööööö (7)
+ No wildlife joke left unused

Arbitrary final rating: öööööö (6)
Nice enough but won't be remembered

Liable to make you:
"book a safari"

DM Poster Quote:
"wildlife can be funny"

Film Review - Tropic Thunder

Tropic Thunder (15)

Dir. Ben Stiller

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

You here that noise? That’s the sound of thunder and it’s coming from your local cinema… Tropic Thunder has hit the UK and it’s going to get messy. Get ready to go down in a hail of hilarious, offensive, quick-fire war movie spoof gunfire. The thunder you’ll experience if you take this tour of duty is that of deep belly laughter.
You’ll marvel at washed up action hero Tugg Speedman (Ben Stiller), a man desperate to re-ignite his box office potential after a string of weak sequels to his one major hit ‘Scorcher.’ Cringe at fat-suit specialist / comedy star Jeff Portnoy (Jack Black) who’s fighting a losing battle against drug addiction and wants to be known for more than just fart jokes. And freak out at the ultimate heavy-duty method actor Kirk Lazarus (Robert Downey Junior) who doesn’t come out of character until he’s finished the DVD commentary track. Finally there’s Alpa Chino (Brandon T Jackson) who’s character is the face of ‘Booty Sweat’ soft drink, and a handy foil to Downey Junior who’s blacking up to play the lead black character walks a knife edge of racism.

This rag tag bunch of actors and their massive egos are inadvertently thrown into a real guerrilla war situation by bumbling Brit director Damian Cockburn (Steve Coogan). Things go pretty insane after that as the actors have to fight for their lives as well as their film careers.
There are big laughs on offer here, starting right from the off with some sublime mock trailers for each of the main character’s previous films. The audience I caught this with were in universal hysterics more than once thanks to some quality rib tickling moments.

Tropic Thunder chronicles the filming of a big budget Vietnam action epic, which gets a month behind schedule five days into the shoot thanks to the actors swanking about like Prima Donnas throwing tantrums at every turn. Faced with having the plug pulled by the studio, Cockburn helicopters his leading men deep into the jungle and the heart of darkness that awaits them.

The crown jewel here and final killer reason that Tropic Thunder is potentially the best comedy of 2008 is a welcome career comic turn from Tom Cruise as the evil studio head Les Grossman. Cruise has never been funnier (even when freaking out on Opera in real life) and Grossman is a character of potential comedy legend…

"Get some…"

DARKMATTERS RATING SYSTEM
(all ratings out of maximum 10 but '-' is bad whereas '+' is good):


Endorphin Stimulation: öööööööö (8)

+ Wrong but very very funny...


Tasty Action: öööööööö (8)

+ Fun and over the top action scenes add to the spectacle


Gratuitous Babeness: ööö (3)

+ Limited in buddy Vietnam situation!?


Mind Blight / Boredom: ööööö (5)
+ Slightly indulgent but forgivable


Comedic Value: ööööööööö (9)
+ Doesn't get much funnier than this - Tom Cruise is excellent!!



Arbitrary final rating: ööööööööö (9)
Bring the noise - this is a tropical storm of laughter



Liable to make you:
"get some"



DM Poster Quote:
“see the dude playin' the dude, disguised as another dude!"