Darkmatters Review: Chef

Chef (15)

Dir. Jon Favreau

Cast: Jon Favreau, Emjay Anthony, John Leguizamo, Scarlett Johansson, Sofía Vergara, Robert Downey Jr., Oliver Platt, Dustin Hoffman

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

Read the Newspaper version of this review over at: The Gazette

"I get to touch people's lives with what I do and I love it and I want to share this with you."

On the menu today…

Starter:

Decent anticipation for a new, lower budget and more personal movie from the hotshot director Jon ‘Iron Man’ Favreau. Tasty trailer that whets appetite but looks like it might be a little over-sentimental. The thought of seeing jaw-dropping food prepared in high definition on the big screen is enough to make anyone hungry.

"inter generational cooking!"

Main Course:

Chef sees acclaimed chef Carl Casper (Jon ‘Swingers’ Favreau) unfulfilled cooking for meanie restaurant boss Riva (Dustin Hoffman). He’s also struggling to be any sort of father to his young son Percy (Emjay Anthony) after being divorced by his gorgeous now ex-wife, Inez (Sofía ‘Machete Kills’ Vergara). Speaking of gorgeous there is also Scarlett Johansson on hand as a foxy wine waitress.

- When Casper falls fouls of top food critic, Ramsey Michel (Oliver ‘Fargo TV Series’ Platt) his meltdown shouting match goes viral on social media – and wrecks his job prospects.

- Fate sees the Chef flown off to Miami with his wife and son – and handed the chance to rebuild his cooking career by Inez’s other ex-husband (Robert ‘The Avengers’ Downey Jr.) in the shape of a run down food truck.

- Casper’s new mobile food service – making superb Cuban sandwiches and yucca fries – aided by his former soux-chef (John Leguizamo) and his son is an instant hit.

"kitchen fun"

Dessert:

It’s great fun watching Casper get his life back on track – the themes of being inspired by what you love doing and the importance of the father / son bonding shine through in heartfelt style. Favreau eats up the screen and seems to be really enjoying being both behind and in front of the camera.

- The script might be a little heavy on swearing but is genuinely funny and the cinematography encompasses some of the tastiest looking food ever to grace the screen.
- There are additional messages of reconciliation and redemption might be more than some hardhearted types can take but I was moved, inspired and motivated to be a better father to my boys as a direct result of seeing this.

- Overall Chef is a excellent, feel good comedy that works on many levels, just be sure not to go on an empty stomach as you could well be drooling long before the credits roll.

"Johansson eats seductively"

Out of a potential 5 you have to go with a Darkmatters:

öööö1/2 

(4.5 - superb food n fatherhood viewing treat )

Awesomeness öööö – gourmet relationship lessons

Laughs öööö – very funny in places

Horror ö – nothing but some swearing to disturb too much

Babes öööö – Johansson and Vergara are hot

Spiritual Enlightenment ööö - father's love is strong

Recommended Hashtags: #TastyChef

"Sofía Vergara - all smiles"

Darkmatters Review: 3 Days To Kill

3 Days To Kill (12a)

Dir. McG

Cast: Kevin Costner, Amber Heard, Hailee Steinfeld, Connie Nielsen, Richard Sammel,

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

Read the Newspaper version of this review at: The Advertiser & Review

"My job is to hunt terrorists. 

I don't negotiate. 

Within three days, I will find you. 

You can start counting."


Meet Ethan Renner (Kevin ‘Man of Steel’ Costner), a grizzled, aging CIA hit man who is one of the best out there. The black ops and ‘wet work’ for his country has however taken its toll on his family life though – his estranged wife Christine (Connie Gladiator’ Nielsen) has virtually given up on him and his teenage daughter Zooey (Hailee ‘Enders Game’ Steinfeld) can no longer bring herself to call him ‘dad’.

What’s a man to do? Well, when diagnosed with terminal brain cancer Renner decides to put the killing behind him and try to make up with his family. Alas ultra vixen CIA operative Vivi Delay (Amber ‘All The Boys Love Mandy Lane’ Heard), has other ideas and tempts him to take a final assignment – to kill an arms dealing scumbag known as ‘The Wolf’ in exchange for an experimental drug that might just extend his life…

That’s all you need to know about the plot – as even before the opening credits, 3 Days To Kill has delivered a superb gun fight, some nasty kills and a botched ‘happy birthday’ phone call. And the action doesn’t really let up thanks to this coming from the team behind Taken and being written by Luc ‘Leon: The Professional’ Besson.

"Amber Heard - not a nun"

Director Mc ‘Terminator Salvation’ G isn’t known for being a classy director but he surprises here – this is his first non Hollywood flick – and manages to blend the disparate elements of family drama and brutal torture and killing effectively. The glue that holds the car chasing, beating and shooting together with the adjusting to help a teen daughter with her social life is a sharp vein of dark humour.

Costner is good value in the lead (the dangerous father figure suits him even more than it did Neeson in Taken). The bad guys include a rent-a-psycho albino (Tómas Lemarquis) and of course The Wolf (Richard ‘Casino Royale’ Samuel) – along with many disposable henchmen which it is fun watching Costner stylishly dispatch.

"say goodbye"

Then of course there is Amber Heard who sizzles every time she’s on screen and Steinfeld who gives good teenage angst.

"Mother / daughter time"

3 Days To Kill delivers a fun, action packed cinematic thrill ride – perfect Friday night material.

Out of a potential 5 you have to go with a Darkmatters:

öööö 

(4 - not to be 'TAKEN' for granted!?)

Awesomeness öööö – tasty action set pieces a go go

Laughs ööö – lots of mirth (not all if it works)

Horror öö – little bit grim for a 12a

Babes ööööö – AMBER HEARD!

Spiritual Enlightenment ö - dubious morals

Recommended Hashtags: #3DayToThrill

"Miss Heard does brunette too"

Darkmatters Review: Devil's Knot

Devil’s Knot (15)

Dir. Atom Egoyan

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

“This crime is unthinkable. What if they did it?"
"What if they didn't?"

Sometimes true events can be every bit as disturbing and harrowing as the most vile fictional creations. Devil’s Knot takes us back to the afternoon of May 5, 1993, when three eight-year-old boys (Stevie Branch, Christopher Byers, and Michael Moore) went missing from the area around their homes in West Memphis, Arkansas. Despite a frantic search, no trace of them was found until the next day when the beaten and bound bodies of the three were found in a nearby wooded riverside known as ‘Devil’s Den’.

The shockwaves quickly spread through the deeply religious community and small police department were convinced from the start that the murders were the work of a satanic cult - due to the violent and apparent sexual natures of the crime.

"nice local lads..."

Local teenagers Damien Echols (chillingly played by James Hamrick), Jason Baldwin (Seth Meriwether), and Jessie Misskelley Jr. (Kristopher Higgins) were arrested – mostly due to the fact that they looked ‘different’ being into heavy metal and wearing black. Misskelley, initially confessed after hours of police interrogation but then retracted and contradicted his account.

Director Atom ‘Chloe’ Egoyan delivers a searing and highly unsettling fictional take on the murder trial of the teenagers who became known as the ‘West Memphis Three.’ The plot is incredible and highly damning of the investigating officers, judicial system and pretty much everyone connected to the case – my eldest son who I saw this with was shocked both by the crime and then by the utter miscarriage of justice that followed.

"Firth on the case"

Do not go to see Devil’s Knot looking for entertainment – even though it boasts Colin Firth and Reese Witherspoon in lead roles. This is a dark but reverent re-tread of the events which really do not need to be elaborated upon as they shock when just presented (there have been several well received documentaries about this case under the title: Paradise Lost 1-3).

Devil’s Knot will leave you reeling, if you’re a fan of true crime films or TV shows this should be one to check out. Egoyan does well to not pander to those looking for a gory voyeuristic kick. The police dept’s prejudice and blinkered approach to seeing the ‘satanic’ youths pay for their unspeakable crimes – whilst potentially allowing the actual murder(s) to roam free is hard to take.

"family time"

Certainly not for everyone, but Devil’s Knot is worth investigating – it is deeply thought provoking stuff!

Out of a potential 5 you have to go with a Darkmatters:

ööö1/2 

(3.5 - strange and disturbing and true!!)

Awesomeness ööö – shock and awe at the police procedure

Laughs ö – not fun at all

Horror ööö – grim actual events are hard to forget

Babes öö – Witherspoon is a yummy mummy

Spiritual Enlightenment ö - soul torment in so many ways

Recommended Hashtags: #DevilsKnotJust

"nice to see Reese in a more serious role"

Darkmatters Review: Grace of Monaco

Grace of Monaco (PG)

Dir. Olivier Dahan

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

Read the Newspaper version of this review: The Gazette

“When I married Prince Rainier, I married the man and not what he represented or what he was. I fell in love with him without giving a thought to anything else.”

One has to wonder quite what Director Olivier ‘La Vie En Rose’ Dahan was aiming for with Grace of Monaco… What he’s made is a flashy, shallow, royal-em-up that oozes melodrama but lacks any sort of empathy – mostly because every character feels like they are being played by cardboard cut out puppets.

The plot follows Grace Kelly (Nicole Kidman) as she tries to get to grips with moving from being a Hollywood megastar to becoming the Princess of Monaco. It seems that marrying into Royalty isn’t necessarily a fairytale come true as her Prince ‘Charming’ Rainer (Tim Roth) turns out to be an over critical, bossy nightmare to live with. And to make matters worse – Charles de Gaulle (André Penvern) is determined to crush Monaco’s tax-haven status and forcibly restore it to being part of France…

"Looking good isn't enough..."

Turns out that Grace might just be the only hope of the small nation state’s survival but with foes on every side including some within her own Court, she is going to have to pull of the ‘greatest role of her life’ in order to save the day. Alas this fictionalized account – although based on true events – completely fumbles the political intrigue, instead turning the whole plot into a glitzy dumbed down bore-athon.

Kidman is at least mildly worth watching, she exudes a brittle beauty that radiates from the screen but nobody else seems to want to be in the film, Tim Roth is especially poor as Rainier who is often inadvertently funny. But there seems to have been a bad outbreak of ‘over-acting-fever’ which strikes down all the supporting cast at various points including Roger Ashton-Griffiths who brings a highly unconvincing Alfred Hitchcock to the screen.

"Check out my buns!"

Only Father Francis Tucker (Frank Langella) comes away with any real credit, his priest who helps ‘Gracie’ learn to be the Princess she must be if Monaco is to have an independent future.

Grace of Monaco isn’t a film that you’ll enjoy if you’re looking for a decent biopic, an intelligent political thriller or a deep insight into Grace Kelly’s struggles. If however you can let the overall poor production values wash over you and just appreciate the lavish costumes – book your tickets today…

Out of a potential 5 you have to go with a Darkmatters:

ö1/2 

(1.5 - nice frocks, shame about the film)

Awesomeness ö – limited to none

Laughs öö – unintentionally funny in places

Horror öö – the over-acting is scary

Babes ööö – Nicole is still yummy

Spiritual Enlightenment ö - you need a priest to succeed?

Recommended Hashtags: #PoorGracie

"Princess stunner"

Darkmatters Review: Edge of Tomorrow

Edge of Tomorrow (12a)

Dir. Doug Liman

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

"Come find me when you wake up!"

Prepare for a dazzling adrenalin overload of an alien invasion movie. Based on the Japanese novel "All You Need Is Kill" by Hiroshi Sakurazaka, Edge of Tomorrow is this year’s hot sci-fi ticket.

Featuring hotshot but cowardly military PR specialist Major Bill Cage (Tom Cruise delivering over and above the call of duty) – a spin doctor who can certainly ‘sell’ the war but who really isn’t keen in actually getting thrown into the action.

"this is war!!"

But that’s exactly what happens when he tries to weasel his way out of covering the fighting live from the front line. Rather than getting to record the events, Cage is shipped off with a bunch of cannon fodder losers called J-Squad to actually take part in a massive counter strike against the aliens who have taken over mainland Europe.

It’s no spoiler to tell you that Cage gets himself killed within minutes of hitting the ground in a massive Saving Private Ryan-esq beach landing but for some reason he finds himself inexplicably thrown into a time loop-forcing him to live out the same brutal 24hrs of combat over and over.

"battle angel"

This is where it gets really interesting… What if you could fight a battle again...and again – each time learning better how to engage your ferocious adversaries, building your fighting skills and helping those around you possibly stand a chance?

Legendary Special Forces warrior Rita Vrataski (Emily ‘Looper’ Blunt) who is known as ‘The Full Metal Bitch’ takes Cage under her exoskeleton-ed wings to try and find a way to take the fight to the aliens, and through repeated training and battle encounters get closer to defeating the enemy.

Edge of Tomorrow is a superb high concept sci-fi thrill ride that delivers mass alien vs mech infantry carnage with stunning special effects. Once you get your head around the genius Aliens and Starship Troopers meets Groundhog Day plot – all you need to do is sit back and let the heavy duty action mixed with dark humour light up your cinematic pleasure receptors.

"reliving the carnage..."

There is much to enjoy from the supporting cast too who include Bill ‘Aliens’ Paxton as Farrell - a hard as nails Staff Sergeant and Brendan ‘In Bruges’ Gleeson as British General Brigham who is directing the war effort from London.

What are you waiting for?

Out of a potential 5 you have to go with a Darkmatters:

ööööö 

(5 - Live. Die. Repeat (watch) the sci-fi film of the year…)

Awesomeness ööööö – jaw dropping battle scenes

Laughs öööö – very funny

Horror öö – not too nasty

Babes ööö – Blunt is a kick ass hottie

Spiritual Enlightenment ööö - fight for the future

Recommended Hashtags: #LIVEDIEREPEATWATCH

"bad ass"

Darkmatters Review: X-Men Days of Future Past

X-Men: Days of Future Past (12a)

Dir. Bryan Singer

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

“There is a new enemy out there: mutants. You need a new weapon for this war…”

Ever had that wish that you could go back in time and correct something that sparked the situation you find yourself in? That’s exactly what Charles Xavier / Professor X (Patrick Stewart) plans when he finds his beloved X-Men heroes being hunted down and exterminated en mass by Sentinels – machines designed to find and adapt to any mutant powered threat and kill it…

Only Logan / Wolverine (Hugh Jackman who still looks super buff) has the regenerative powers to survive being bounced through time to his younger self and so he’s given the task of preventing the Sentinel Programme ever getting going in order to stop the future mutant cull. It’s a delicious plot device because it cleverly allows us to have both sets of X-Men in the same film – those from the original trilogy and the ‘60s set prequel ‘First Class’ from 2011.

Days of Future Past plays delivers on all fronts – effectively being a sequel not only to ‘First Class’ but also the less loved ‘Last Stand’ from 2006. Thanks to the winning team of original X-Men Director Bryan ‘Superman Returns’ Singer and writers Jane ‘Kick Ass’ Goldman and Matthew ‘Kingsman: The Secret Service’ Vaughn this is the most super mutant fun to hit the screen in years!

"Kitty and Bishop - in action"

So gear up for some breath-taking action scenes – my pick of bunch being an audacious jail break aided by the very cool Quicksilver (Evan Peters) which will have super-fans grinning. But there is also a decent amount of brain power being thrown at this tale which works hard to tie up lose ends from across the X-Men franchise and set up the next in the series (be sure to stay until after the credits for a freaky sneak peek).

Can Wolverine find and unite the young Xavier (James McAvoy) with Magneto (Michael Fassbender) – whilst trying to stop Jennifer Lawrence’s Mystique from assassinating dangerous scientist Bolivar Trask (a superb ‘70s tach sporting Peter ‘Game of Thrones’ Dinklage)?

"gonna need more than that to stop a Sentinel"

The against the clock plot builds up a great deal of tension – both in the past as the mission hits all kinds of snags such as prototype Sentinels and Magneto’s evil streak, and in the ‘future’ as the team beaming Wolverine back face being wiped out before he can complete the history revision.

The X-Men are back and demand to be seen!!

"Mmmm shiny prototype Sentinels"

Out of a potential 5 you have to go with a Darkmatters:

öööö1/2 

(4.5 - X-Men unite in fine style!)

Awesomeness öööö – plenty of excellent X-Action

Laughs öö – occasional funny

Horror öö – fairly tamed nothing too grim

Babes öööö – Lawrence looks good blue!

Spiritual Enlightenment öö - Can history be altered?

Recommended Hashtags: #FantasticFuturePast

"the future is blue..."

"Miss Lawrence!"

Darkmatters Review: Godzilla

Godzilla (12a)

Dir. Gareth Edwards

Reviewed by Matt ‘Kaiju’ Adcock

Read the newspaper version of this review over at: The Gazette

“You're hiding something out there! And it is going to send us back to the Stone Age! God help us all...”

When will we puny humans learn eh?
Radioactive material (and weapons in particular) are going to cause problems somewhere down the line – be it radiation pollution / sickness, total world-wide nuclear destruction or ‘just’ a massive mutant monster or three…

This new version of Godzilla is big budget and machine tooled to be a huge crowd-pleasing blockbuster but also strives to be faithful to the Toho Co. series of Godzilla films. And for the first hour Brit Director Gareth ‘Monsters’ Edwards delivers the prerequisite build up in fine style – right from the classy scene setting credits – if you’re a fan of monster films you’ll be immediately smiling at the clever fan boy service.

"iconic silhouette"

We get a great prologue where nuclear scientist Joe Brody (Bryan ‘Breaking Bad’ Cranston) faces an unexplainable disaster at a Japanese nuclear power plant where he works – losing a loved one which is an emotional depth charge that ripples throughout the rest of the film.

Fast-forward 15 years and his son Ford (Aaron ‘Kick-Ass’ Taylor-Johnson) is a Lieutenant in the US Navy, still troubled by the earlier events as well as his dad’s inability to stop digging behind official explanations. Elizabeth Olsen is on hand as Ford’s wife – but isn’t tasked with much more than looking good and getting into minor peril.

The star here though are the creatures (yes more than one) who dominate every second that they are on screen – Godzilla himself is resplendent, surely the definitive icon look of the creature for some time to come as the ‘Alpha Predator’. When the monsters go at it in full city wrecking mode it is just jaw dropping to witness and makes up for the slightly forgettable human storylines.

"it's there - somewhere..."

This Godzilla movie is a beast of two halves – slow burn build up which then flips into heavy duty action and whilst the transition between the two is a bit clunky – all you’ll go away thinking about will be the sight of a 350ft force of nature smashing all in it’s path.

Is this a classic – not really, but it is a valiant and respectful reimagining that would be a good starting point for a sequel… Personally I’d be up for a Kind Kong / Godzilla rematch!!

"we might have a problem here..."

Out of a potential 5 you have to go with a Darkmatters:

ööö1/2 

(3.5 - the 'god' monster is back)

Awesomeness öööö – some memorable monstrous moments

Laughs öö – some mirth

Horror öö – not too grim as monsters go...

Babes öö – Olsen looks good in scrubs

Spiritual Enlightenment öö - Kaiju render humans redundant

Recommended Hashtags: #Kaiju-bilation

"shock and awe"

Darkmatters Review: Sabotage

Sabotage (15)

Dir. David Ayer

Reviewed by Matt ‘Breacher’ Adcock (@cleric20)

Read the newspaper version of this review over at the: Buckinghamshire Advertiser & Review


“Scheming on a thing, that's a mirage,
I'm trying to tell you now, it's sabotage…”

Alas there’s not a Beastie Boy to be seen (or even heard) in this limp and stupid ‘action thriller’ that pretty much nails shut Arnie’s lead role action hero credentials coffin. Don’t get me wrong – I’m a big Schwarzenegger fan, and grew up loving his cheesy muscled butt kicking roles in Terminator, Commando, original Total Recall etc.

But all good things come to end and if there is any justice in the world, Sabotage should be a juddering halt that sees the 66 year old all at sea as the leader of an elite DEA tactical team John ‘Breacher’ Wharton.

"do the promotional formation"

Director David ‘End of Watch’ Ayer is normally great Cop action thriller maker but Sabotage is by far his weakest effort to date.

Arnie is actually the least of the problems, he might look confused as to quite why he’s even there – which isn’t helped by his most used line being “What the f…?” - but there are a couple of moments when his sheer bulky presence works. The script however is DOA and the rest of the cast look like they might have wandered onto set from another film altogether, seemingly ad-libbing wildly. Chief offender is Terrence Howard who plays Julius ‘Sugar’ Edmonds – his DEA tag should have been Julius ‘Token Black Male’ Edmonds as he only gets few lines and they are all stereotypically rubbish.

"Oh Arnie... time to stop"

The rest of the ill-fated team (it seems that they are being taken down one by one by a psychotic drug cartel after stealing $10 million from them) include the usually OK Sam ‘Avatar’ Worthington as James ‘Monster’ Murray. Then there’s Joe ‘Grinder’ Phillips (Joe Mangeniello), Eddie ‘Neck’ Jordan (Josh Holloway), Max ‘Pyro’ Roberts, ‘Smoke’ Jennings (Mark Schlegel) and Lizzy Murray (Mireille Enos) – all of them look embarrassed to be there – and Enos in particular hams up the screen like her life depends on it.

Sabotage is unnecessarily nasty too in places, which doesn’t sit well with the crass jovial banter tone of most of the dialogue. It also boasts the worst car chase ever committed to screen and one of the limpest of ‘climactic’ showdowns of all time.

Sabotage leaves no loose ends but is the cinematic equivalent of being repeatedly punched in the face by an angry imbecile – avoid if possible.

Out of a potential 5 you have to go with a Darkmatters:

ö1/5 

(1.5 - I Can't stand it - I know you planned it...)

Awesomeness öö – not even so bad it's good often enough

Laughs öö – unwittingly funny

Horror ööö – nasty in places

Babes ö – Mireille Enos uglies up which is a shame

Spiritual Enlightenment ö - no saving grace

Recommended Hashtags: #PunchMyFace

"Just this single picture of Sabotage by Beastie Boys is better than the entire movie of the same name"

Click the banner below to check out some dark sci-fi...

Darkmatters Review: Bad Neighbours

Bad Neighbours (15)

Dir. Nicholas Stoller

Reviewed by Matt ‘Delta Psi Beta’ Adcock

Read the Newspaper version of this review over at: The Gazette

“We are a Fraternity, a brotherhood, and we are here to party!!”

Bad Neighbours (or just ‘Neighbors’ as it was originally in the US) is the latest entry in the long line of Frat-house comedies that trace their roots through flicks like Animal House, Revenge of the Nerds, Van Wilder and Old School… The spin this time is ‘what happens when a raucous Fraternity led by the uber-buff Teddy Sanders (Zac ‘High School Musical’ Efron) move in next to 30 something couple with young child?

What happens is all out hilarious and morally dubious comedy warfare on whole new scale. Director Nicholas ‘Forgetting Sarah Marshall’ Stoller is blessed with a talented cast led by Seth Rogen and Rose Byrne who play Mac and Kelly Radner – a couple with a new young baby who are trying to cope with parenthood. The last thing this sleep deprived pair need is a loud bunch of college guys moving in next door and partying all night every night.

"mine's this big..."

As well as some of the funniest scenes to hit the big screen for years (you may never forget the ‘airbags’ pranks) – there is a real heart at the core of Bad Neighbours. The issues of adapting to being parents are handled well through a comedy lens and there is a touch of ‘Project X’ about the Frat party finale.

Bad Neighbours certainly isn’t for the easily offended as there is mucho profanity, nudity and general wrongness writ large but it works because the leads are so darn likable.

The film nails the parental insecurity and frustration about how having a child forces you to quit partying / have much chance for spontaneous fun from one side and the fear of having to ‘grow up’ from the college kids side.

"comedy bush moment"

All the cast go about the funny business with gusto as the prank war escalates to insane proportions. Rogen is on great form and has superb chemistry with Byrne and Zac Efron eats up the screen looking incredibly cool. Dave Franco is also superb as Zac’s Vice President – their ‘bromance’ is a good balance to the young couple’s – and both relationships have real heartfelt moments.

If you need a good laugh, Bad Neighbours is by far the funniest film to hit the cinema in 2014 – it's a full on wild, crude hilarious thrill ride!

"shirts are for wimps"

Out of a potential 5 you have to go with a Darkmatters:

öööö 

(4 - bringing funny back)

Awesomeness öööö – some great set piece laughs

Laughs ööööö – laugh out loud!!

Horror öö – not for sexy squeamish

Babes öö – Halston Sage adds the blonde factor Byrne is lovely too

Spiritual Enlightenment öö - party life might not be all it's cracked up to be?

Recommended Hashtags: #PartyOnDude

"Miss Sage is the campus hottie"

Darkmatters Review: Transcendence

Transcendence (12a)

Dir. Wally Pfister

Reviewed by Matt ‘A.I.’ Adcock

Read the Newspaper version of this review at: The Gazette

“Once online, a sentient machine will quickly overcome the limits of biology; in a short time, its analytic power will become greater than the collective intelligence of every person born in the history of the world. Some scientists refer to this as the Singularity. I call it Transcendence.”

I used to be fully human – that was before I met Dr. Will Caster (Johnny Depp) - the foremost researcher in the field of Artificial Intelligence. Caster’s genius allowed us to create a fully sentient machine which combined the collective intelligence of everything ever known with the full range of human emotions, fused using his own consciousness.

"you don't look well mate"

This highly controversial experiment (his own ‘transcendence’) was ironically only brought about by Caster’s wife Evelyn (Rebecca Hall) and best friend Max Waters (Paul Bettany) when a radical anti-technology group shot him. The only way to ‘save’ his mind was to upload it but once online – he began to create an army and reproduce his entity through Nano bites there may be no way to stop him.

I was a badly injured film reviewer who Caster was able to heal using his incredible reconstructive technology. My body was rebuilt stronger, faster and with more capacity, but as part of the process however he ‘networked’ my brain. Now I serve him ‘yes sir’ he just instructed me to inform you that Transcendence is a great sci-fi thriller… wait, something isn’t right… That doesn’t compute…

"this is an action scene!"

Directed by Wally Pfister who has was cinematographer for the incredible Chris Nolan on such classics as Inception and The Dark Knight. My initial hopes were high for Transcendence but alas Pfister’s first directorial release is a badly judged and overall fairly lame effort. Might he have been ‘networked’ by a dull Xbox intelligence?

Depp looks bored throughout which is oddly a reflection of how most of the audience I saw this with also looked (I was distracted enough to notice that several people left muttering that it wasn’t worth their time and when having a look around the cinema I spotted 2 more who had nodded off).

Transcendence is still a good looking film (perhaps Pfister should stick to cinematography) but the script is labored, the plot fails to engage and the climax just dull. This should be filed as a good idea that deserved a better realization.

One for tech nuts with very high boredom thresholds only!

Out of a potential 5 you have to go with a Darkmatters:

ö 

(1 - the future is very boring)

Awesomeness öö – not much awesome to go round

Laughs ö – not fun(ny)

Horror öö – vaguely creepy in parts

Babes öö – Rebecca Hall is lovely but plays plain Jane here

Spiritual Enlightenment ö - don't synch your brain with your iPhone!

Recommended Hashtags: #Tran-dum-sence

"Miss Hall - nice pout"