Matt Adcock meets Jessica Alba

"Oh man, second time in the company of the hottest woman on the planet..."


Matt Adcock meets Jessica Alba

When I heard that the cast were coming over to London to promote the new Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer movie, I was a happy man. Mostly because I might get the chance to spend some time with Jessica Alba – the woman voted winner of FHM Magazine’s ‘100 Sexiest Woman of the 2007’.
And so after catching the new Fantastic Four film and marvelling at the amazing Silver Surfer, in walks Miss Alba, wearing a cool pinstripe dress and we get down to business.

Matt: Hi Jessica, how was it returning to the role of Invisible Woman?

Jessica: “In the first film I was trying to figure it out and stay as close to the comic book as possible. Now I already knew the character so had lots of freedom.”

Matt: And how was it working with the super cool Silver Surfer in the new movie?

Jessica: “Well, he’s just this amazing physical specimen – he’s not only this silver, sinewy, muscle-y guy, but he’s also innocent. He’s very interesting because he’s so misunderstood.”

Matt: He seemed to have a soft spot for Invisible Woman in the film?

Jessica: “Yeah, I love that my character has a connection with him, because she’s maternal and has great feminine instincts. The boys are so raw and their ready to fight and pass judgement when they feel something is threatening the universe, whereas Sue tries to look past the situation and see something beyond the obvious.”

Matt: What did you think of the team’s car?

Jessica: “The Fantasticar is amazing. They took this car to such a new level – it really looks futuristic and totally cool.”

Matt: How do you feel about the action figures of your character?

Jessica: “It’s completely surreal. But I love it, my family especially have collected the dolls which is nice.”


"The costume... nice and tight!"

Matt: What about the costume? Did you get to keep one?

Jessica: “No, I haven’t got my Invisible Woman suit and to be honest I don’t think I want one – it’s just too tight!”

Matt: I’d say that’s not necessarily a bad thing, but finally how would you rate your comic book experience this time?

Jessica: “There’s an amazing fan loyalty and the comic book fans have specific ideas of how exactly how they’d like to see things portrayed. There is nothing better though than when a little girl comes and looks up to you because you’re their hero.”


"It's the car, chicks dig the car..."

You can catch Jessica as Invisible Woman in Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer is in cinemas this week.

My Review here: http://darkmatt.blogspot.com/2007/06/fantastic-four-rise-of-silver-surfer.html

Last time we met: http://darkmatt.blogspot.com/2005/07/matt-adcock-meets-jessica-alba-and.html

Fantastic Four - Rise of the Silver Surfer - review

Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer (PG) 

Dir. Tim Story

Reviewed by Matt Adcock (@Cleric20)

All that you know, is at an end… The cosmic entity known as the Silver Surfer has been spotted in the skies heralding the doom of our planet - for the people of earth nothing will be the same…

Fantastic Four was a fun knockabout popcorn superhero flick which made more than $330million in cinemas – so it was really only a matter of time before the ‘first family of superheroes’ burst back onto our screens. Now the blue suited team of the stretchy Mr Fantastic (Ioan Gruffudd), flame coated Human Torch (Chris Evans), brick faced The Thing (Michael Chiklis) and the lycra clad Invisible Woman (Jessica Alba) are up against one of the most iconic Marvel comic book characters of all time.

Fantastic 4 Rise of the Silver Surfer is the perfect summer movie – special effects that work, good action, lots of fun and the coolest superhero ever to grace the screen in Silver Surfer. The film flashes by, dashing from scene to scene and it maintains the kooky family friendly feel of the first movie so while it won’t please those looking for serious brooding dark escapism; it is liable to be a big hit with younger superhero fans.

The Silver Surfer is undoubtedly the star; he’s an amazing creation and that rarest of beasts in a CGI character that actually works. Unfortunately for the people of earth he’s working for the massive planet destroying force known as Galactus which means that the world as we know it will end if the Fantastic Four can’t find a way to intervene. Just to make things even worse, Dr Doom decides to stage a comeback too and so the heroes really have their work cut out for them this time. There are lots of fun elements including the introduction of the ‘Fantasticar’ (a nifty 20-foot long flying vehicle) and the fact that the cosmic powers of the surfer make for some power swaps amongst the heroes.

Rise of the Silver Surfer builds nicely on the first film and delivers the wham bam visual spectacle you want e.g. a surfer induced crisis on the London Eye is one high point. Also this is a sequel which refreshingly doesn’t outstay its welcome unlike certain other ‘hero’ films with seriously bloated running times. So, it might not change your life but it will entertain and that is surely what comic books are all about?

Out of 5 you have to go with a kid friendly super-em-up which is fun to watch and worth a 3...

Darkmatters ratings:
Action ööö – surfer thrills a go go
Laughs ööö – good natured mirth
Horror ö – only Alba's acting ability
Babes öööö – JessicaOverall ööö


"Human Torch get's 'clobberin power' at one point!"
"Human woman, your knowledge is at an end... but you have a very nice ass!"

Darkmatters: H O M E

Ocean's Thirteen - review

Ocean’s Thirteen (PG)
Dir. Steven Soderbergh

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

“This town might have changed, but not me. I know people highly invested in my survival, and they are people who really know how to hurt in ways you can't even imagine…”

What can you do when you follow up one of the most cool, hip, slick crime capers like Ocean’s Eleven with an overblown and self indulgent misstep like Ocean’s Twelve? Well, Ocean’s Thirteen I guess – so place your bets - is it third time lucky or is 13 an unlucky number for the general viewing public?

My advice is to step right up and put down your cash for the highest rolling crime spree to hit the cinema this year. Director Soderbergh pulls out all the stops to deliver a seriously fun blast of achingly cool ‘heist-em-up’ that is pretty much guaranteed to put a smile on your face. This time it’s personal as Danny Ocean (George Clooney – looking better than ever) reassembles his crew in order to take down nasty casino boss Willie Bank (Al Pacino in snarling baddie mode). The reason is that Ocean's former sponsor Reuben (Elliott Gould) suffers a heart attack when he is stitched up by Bank in a ruthless piece of underhanded business dealing.
So Clooney, aided by Brad Pitt, Matt Damon and all the original crew (but no sign of Julia Roberts or Catherine Zeta Jones) gear up for a Casino smash-and-grab so audacious that they even have to draft in one time sworn enemy Terry Benedict (Andy Garcia). Up against a semi sentient computer security system that wouldn’t look out of place in a Terminator film, the Armani clad loveable scoundrels resort to every dirty trick in the book – and even make up some new ones too. Bed bugs, helicopters, false noses, pheromones, channel tunnel digging machines, bribery, coercion and masses of clever slight of hand are all employed in an plan which redefines ‘over the top’.
It’s all jolly good fun and looks amazing in super saturated colours and flamboyant casino chic. What’s really nice is that because the mission is basically the ‘good guys’ taking down a very dislikeable scumbag you’ll feel no qualms about rooting for them. In fact watching the heroes sticking it to the money grabbing Bank (who has the villainous François Toulour from the last film also on his side) is nothing short of an endorphin rush.
Even if Ocean’s Twelve didn’t ‘do it’ for you, this one is worth taking a punt on!!

Out of 5 you have to go with a fun, cool, slick piece of entertainment that is worth 3.5...

Darkmatters ratings:

Action ööö – enough
Laughs öööö – plenty
Horror ö – nothing too disturbing
Babes ööö – unconventionally pretty, and utterly mesmerizing, Ellen Barkin

Overall ööö1/2


"Ellen Barkin - looking damn good for 53!!"

Darkmatters: H O M E

PS3 breaks million sold landmark in Europe

"PS3 going faster than 'hot cakes' over here - can't imagine why they are selling so well!?"

Sony Computer Entertainment Europe president David Reeves has confirmed that the PlayStation 3 has passed the million sales mark in PAL territories, which include Europe and Australia.

Nice work Sony - and this is before the year's 'big games' come out...

The PS3 has taken ten weeks to pass the million mark. According to Sony the company had shipped 1.62 million units and Reeves confirmed the one million figure was sold to consumers rather then to retail, he exlained:

“Early last week we went through the one million mark on PS3. And we did that in nine and a half weeks. That was faster than both PS2 and PSOne. And I think that the analysts out there will also realise that it’s faster than our brothers and sisters in the competitive world.”

That means that the PlayStation 3 has confirmed sales of 910,737 in Japan to June 3 and 1,276,000 in the US to May 5, so with the PAL million, that means there have been 3,186,737 PS3s sold worldwide...

Star Wars Exhibition - London

The Force is strong in London at the moment...


"Me and my boys go to visit the Star Wars exhibition - hard to tell who was more excited about it..."


"R2 D2 wasn't famed for his stealth but he managed to creep up behind Jedi Jim (see below)"


"Jim Adcock - A New Hope... Jedi Training and a lightsabre duel against Darth himself was a highlight!!"

Get in touch with your inner Jedi - here's the link to the exhibition site (highly recommended for SW nuts - especially if you have kids!)
http://www.starwars-theexhibition.com/index.html

Paradise Lost (Turistas) - review

Paradise Lost (18)
Dir. John Stockwell

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

Wanted: internal organs, kidneys and livers in particular – must be in good working order, preferable donors to be good looking backpackers… We are happy to remove them, all you have to do is turn up in the wrong place at the wrong time – leave the rest to us…
Director John ‘Into The Blue’ Stockwell is a man who specialises in making women look good on screen and he continues his ‘all females must be wearing bikinis for most of the film’ mantra in this tropical tale of death and misadventure in Brazil. Playing out like Hostel by the sea, Paradise Lost (or Turistas to give it its original title) delivers tropical, good looking, but ultimately by the numbers slaughter and peril. It’s the unhappy tale of a group of young hedonistic backpackers who find themselves in for some nasty involuntary organ donation whilst on vacation. There’s even an attempt at political messaging in amongst the drinking, smooching and machete wielding. Something like because western governments and corporations are responsible for exploiting the natural resources of foreign countries, it’s apparently little surprise that they want to hack up our citizens when they come visiting…
So U.S. travellers Alex (Josh Duhamel) and little his sister Bea (Olivia Wilde) meet Brit wideboy Finn (Desmond Askew) and sexy Aussie Pru (Melissa George) plus a couple of others and party hard at a beachfront bar. Next morning they awake dazed and confused having been drugged and had all their belongings stolen. This however is just the beginning of their nightmare as they soon find themselves at the mercy of crazed doctor / serial killer Dr. Zamora (Miguel Lunardi), who has intentions on their insides… Cue life or death struggle, a scene of surgery that is definitely not for the faint at heart and much running, swimming and hiding. Who will live, who will die? If you like horror films then you’ve probably seen variations on this theme many many times before but rarely have the protagonists been so attractive or spent so much time in swimwear.
Paradise Lost is watchable but uneven in pace and probably not a great pick for a date movie - one woman in the screening I caught turned to her partner and shouted ‘what the hell have you brought me to see?’ at one of the more unpleasant points.
Despite that unless you’re considering a backpack holiday somewhere exotic this year it is unlikely to be remembered for long.

Out of 5 you have to go with an eye catching but ultimately pointless 2.5...



"some reasons you might want to check out Paradise Lost"

The Hitcher (remake) - review

"nice car - shame about the film..."

The Hitcher (15)
Dir. Dave Myers

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

Here we are again – watching aghast as Hollywood spews out another mediocre new version of a perfectly good film… Accompanied to the sound of easy money being plucked from the pockets of cinemagoers who were either too young to see or those who still harbour positive feelings towards the original. I must admit that it’s easy to find yourself curious to see what a hot music video director, new cast and bigger budget can do with the ready to use materials.
The Hitcher was an original 1986 bona fide cult classic, featuring Rutger Hauer as a psychopathic hitchhiker who torments a young couple by murdering everyone around them in highway based deadly game of cat and mouse. Not much has changed in the 2007 incarnation except that this time Sean Bean takes over the role of the ‘last person you’ll ever pick up’ and has a decent stab, shot, strangle and dismember at the role…
Turns out that he’s the only decent member of the cast (never thought I’d write that about our own Mr Bean).
The new version’s cinematography might be gorgeous and they do have a cooler car this time but eye candy alone cannot make up for the overall tension bypass. Female viewers may be happy that the writers decided to empower women everywhere by making the girlfriend the heroine rather than the original’s heroic boyfriend – but this move takes away the whole underlying them of the disturbed Hitcher helping the boy become a man – through homicide…
The new Hitcher fails to do almost anything as well as the original, characters just don’t ring true, their motives are inexcusably muddled, and the plot is a master class in how to surgically remove many of the best bits of the film you are remaking.
Call me a weirdo but just for once wouldn’t it be nice find a remake that ramped up the horror and slipped in new mind blowing scenes instead of watering down or ejecting most of what made the original so effective. The Hitcher might please a few new horror fans that have been raised on the weak, gutless so called ‘horror’ movies of the last few years but for anyone looking for decent scary road based mayhem, the original is still where it’s at.

Out of 5 - you have to go with a generous 2.5 (for smooth camera work, the car and Sean Bean's effort)


"look - I'm fit and I have a gun..."

Simpsons... on PS3

"you've got to love this take off of the 'Medal of Honour' games"

First bit of artwork I've seen from the upcoming new Simpsons game (multiformat but I'll be getting the PS3 version)...

With incidental little jokes like this in it - looks like it might be very very cool!

Black Snake Moan - Review

Black Snake Moan (15)
Dir. Craig Brewer

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

“I think... I think we’re f*cked up. I know I am. But that don't mean what I feel ain't real, that I can't love somebody. And I know what I done is real real bad, but um... … …
If you want to quit on me I understand….
But please don't.”

You look at the poster for Black Snake Moan and can’t quite believe what you see – is that a hot young white girl (Christina Ricci) chained up by grizzly looking black guy (Samuel L. Jackson)? Yes, yes it is…
And then maybe you see the trailer which features lots of Ricci wearing only a cut off t-shirt and skimpy panties whilst apparently spending the movie chained to Jackson’s radiator somewhere in the Deep South… Surely this must be some kind of dodgy, seedy exploitation flick – I thought perhaps I should investigate and report back to ahem ‘warn’ others about how dangerously depraved this film might be.
Then I read my esteemed film reviewer pal Bina’s review where she describes Black Snake Moan as: “a desperately sweet movie about unexpected friendship and redemption through the awesome medium of blues music… As emotional journeys go, Christina Ricci gives the performance of her career, and perhaps of the year.” And she’s right actually, well kind of…

There is a ton of misogynistic leering camerawork and probably more nymphomania, domestic style violence, swearing and random infidelity than will feature in any other film released this year but amazingly all that filth simply serves up the arena for a tale of true love and the painful confrontation of inner demons…
Black Snake Moan is the tale of Rae – a cute white trash nympho (played with sheer conviction by Ricci) who gets into all kinds of bother when her boyfriend Ronnie (Justin Timberlake) joins up and is posted off to Iraq. Before you can say ‘I wonder if she’ll stay faithful’ Rae is taking all comers trying to sate her turbo charged carnal appetites with any bloke who looks at her. This is a self-destructive young woman whose dangerous sexual hunger is a result of childhood abuse. It’s not long before she’s being beaten and left for dead in some country road – only to be found and taken in by blues aficionado Lazarus (Samuel L. Jackson).
As a Christian I was interested in Lazarus’s character – his motivation for chaining up his new young charge is to cleanse her of her ‘wickedness’. Can bible based benevolence save a wanton wild child such as her? Is there hope of redemption for a Lazarus’s broken spirit through his unorthodox attempt at chaste resurrection for his ‘captive’? Apparently there is – although I don’t think the ‘chaining people to radiators form of therapy’ is likely to catch on.

Black Snake Moan might be raw, exploitive and dripping sweaty heat from every pore but it also exhibits tenderness towards its protagonists and if you stay the course, you’ll leave the film having been challenged about relationships and self worth. Oh and Timberlake is great in his weak dysfunctional role which is a million miles away from his tough kid persona in Alpha Dog – damn it looks like he’s actually turning out to be decent actor…

Darkmatters rating system (out of 5):

Action ööö – beatings and shaggings and bible readings etc
Laughs öö – limited mirth
Horror ööö – disturbing in parts
Babes öööö – Ricci is a sensation

Overall ööö1/2 (more to it than meets the eye)


"Christina Ricci - trying the Daisy Duke look"

Darkmatters: H O M E

Thud!

Thud! – Book and Game
By Terry Pratchett

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

Discworld eh? I used to be a bit of a fan of these fantasy novels – and I confess that I still like the idea of them but had lost track of the series because there are 30+ of them now...
So there I am minding my own business – looking for to satiate one of my compulsions by finding a new strategy war game (am a fan of chess but an even bigger fan of The Viking Game / Hnefatafl)… If you haven’t played it I urge to track down a set / try an online game…
Then it happened – THUD! – hits me like a Troll club to the back of the head!?
Terry Pratchett proves himself to be a bit of a canny bastard by launching a spin off Viking Game clone based on his discworld novel Thud!… And as it turns out the game is decent but the book just OK.
Plotwise it’s all about the ancient battle of Koom Valley, where Dwarfs and the Trolls went to war. Ankh-Morpork Police Commander Samuel Vimes can smell trouble as the anniversary of the battle threatens to tear the city apart in a Dwarf / Troll carnage…
I found it hard to make the trip back to Discworld having not read many of the previous books (one of my ‘even geekier’ mates - who asked not to be named online – has read them all and told me that they were humorous but not laugh-out-loud funny) and that’s kind of how I found Thud!
Alas it wasn’t enough to make me want to read any more Discworld books, but I will be playing Thud! the game for the foreseeable future… Bonus.

Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End - review

Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End (12a)
Dir. Gore Verbinski

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

Yo ho ho and a bottle of ‘um, wait a minute – haven’t we seen all this somewhere before?’
Here it is, the third and potentially final Pirates of the Caribbean sails into cinemas all guns blazing, all timbers shivering and all expectations resting on it redeeming the swashbuckling fun series that faltered a little with last year’s Dead Man’s Chest.
As devious Pirate Captain Barbossa (Geoffrey Rush) states at one point: “Everything we've ever done has lead to this…”
It’s no secret that ‘At World’s End’ brings everybody’s favourite pirate Captain Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp) back from his perilous departure at the end of the last movie, in fact just about everyone is back. Marvel at the slightly less useless Will Turner (Orlando ‘not sure I’m ever going to convince as a leading man’ Bloom) and the sexiest pirate fancier ever to walk the plank - Elizabeth Swann (Keira ‘nobody else could look this good in grimy pirate outfit’ Knightley) who are now allied with one time enemy Barbossa and the mystical Tia Dalma (Naomie Harris).
New additions include several more Pirate Captains such as Sao Feng (Chow Yun-Fat) and Captain Teague (a brilliant cameo by Keith Richards) but what you probably want to know is - does it deliver the goods?
Well me hearties – kind of… At World's End is a darker and less comically pleasing adventure than the previous two. The grimmer tone is set from the opening mass executions which might prove disturbing for – well, anyone actually and it takes a while to recover. There are at least a couple of quality mirthful moments (courtesy of Jack Sparrow of course), just don’t go expecting a laugh-a-thon. What I was looking forward to most was the promised titanic sea battle where every pirate must make a stand not only for their lives and fortunes, but the entire future of the freedom-loving Pirate way. Alas this was just one of many scenes that didn’t deliver all I was hoping; in fact Pirates 3 turns out to be just an OK (if much too long) film when it could have been an excellent one. Think muddled Matrix 3 more than fun Spiderman 3…
Having said that – you probably do want know if Will can save his dad from the dastardly Davy Jones? Has Captain Jack finally bitten off more than he can chew in coming back from the dead? And yes, someone finally gets the girl but who will it be?
Only one way to find out…

Darkmatters rating system (out of 5):

Action ööö – not enough, and what there is feels 'recycled'
Laughs öö – not enough!! come on... Sparrow is one of the funniest characters ever but wasted here
Horror ööö – more than expected, what was all that hanging about?
Babes öööö – Keira ‘nobody else could look this good in grimy pirate outfit’ Knightley

Overall ööö (It's OK, but it could have been great)


"all the girls love a pirate... especially the daper Jack Sparrow it seems!?"


"me? I'll settle for the gorgeous miss knightley - this is very much her film!"

Darkmatters: H O M E

Zodiac - review

Zodiac (15)
Dir. David Fincher

Reviewed by Matt Adcock


Dear Herald & Post editor...
This is the Zodiac speaking, I have been observing the behaviour of several people in your area. You will be sad to hear that they are now dead and if you have any interest in preserving the people of your town I insist that you try to find me… Perhaps a good move would be to venture to the local picture house where you will surely flinch when you see my acts of utmost brutality depicted larger than life on the big screen.
You will however not catch me as I am far too clever, the film about me will mess with your head and may lead you in many directions before giving you enough evidence for you to draw your conclusions as to my identity.
Zodiac (great title for my film) is expertly crafted, well acted and dripping with oppressive tension as you might expect from master director David ‘Seven’ Fincher. Mark Ruffalo and Robert Downey Jr. produce outstanding work, giving their characters heavyweight presence and deliciously believable quirks. The only minor niggle might be that it takes over two and a half hours to explore my tale but that surely only speaks masses as to how obsessed the film makers became with my ruthless and sadistic reign of terror. And I object to the implication that I might not have actually been the mass killer I took credit for – nobody should doubt my unhinged dedication to my campaign against rational humankind. There are scenes in this film that get so scary they are liable to give you heart palpitations. The plot takes up the story of Jake Gyllenhaal’s Robert Graysmith – a cartoonist at the San Francisco Chronicle (although I think he might have moved the Biggleswade Chronicle now). This likeable hack became completely fixated with tracking me down, he simply would not let go of the trail even after the cops had all but given up. It is a fascinating tale that shows there is more than one way to lose your life to a killer… But who wouldn’t feel the need to stand there, to look me in the eye and know that you’ve found the psychotic enemy of the people. But you never will – despite the compelling evidence pointing towards one suspect, the investigation into my crime spree is still filed as ‘open’ - so if this film inspires you to take up pursuit of me, I’ll be waiting...

Darkmatters rating system (out of 5):

Action ööö – something wicked this way comes
Laughs ö – couple of amusing quirky bits but if the person watching this starts giggling - run!!
Horror öööö – nasty murders and pervading menace
Babes öö – limited babeness on offer

Overall öööö1/2 (watch this - I'm watching you)

Darkmatters: H O M E

28 Weeks Later - review

28 Weeks Later (18)
Dir. Juan Carlos Fresnadillo

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

Caution: there might be some out there who will not enjoy 28 Weeks Later…
They are people who do not want to experience gut wrenching, nerve shredding action / horror that rips up the mantra that sequels are never as good as the original…
28 Weeks Later is a direct continuation of the events set in motion by the cracking Brit zombie reinvention ‘28 Days Later’ from 2002. The good news is that this is bigger, better and more compulsive viewing in just about every way. Just when it looks like the worst is over, the Rage virus rears its vicious, blood drooling, flesh craving head again in Britain. New hero Don (Robert Carlyle) and his wife (Catherine McCormack) are holed up in a remote farmhouse, trying to lay low whilst the rest of the country tears each others brains out. But it seems that nobody is safe and before you can say ‘look out for those ravenous demented zombies’ even the newly repopulated area of London which is now under martial control by our dear US Military chums finds itself torn apart as hell breaks loose… again...
Juan ‘Intacto’ Carlos Fresnadillo picks up the directorial reigns from Danny Boyle and he brings all of his Spanish flair that made Intacto such a classic to this nitrous-fuelled rollercoaster of a horror that will tear your soul apart.
Carlyle does the business – capturing a wonderful level of pathos as the husband tormented by his cowardice and his central character is a worthy follow up to Cillian Murphy’s in the original. Undisputed star this time though is newcomer Imogen Poots – who despite her amusing name manages to be absolutely captivating in her role as Don’s daughter. Male cinema goers (including mate John who I saw this with) are liable to immediately loose their hearts to this hot upcoming actress who turns 18 this year.
28 Weeks Later contains scenes that will make you choke on your popcorn in sheer excitement mixed with nervous tension. The stand out scene has to be the best ever ‘escape from a horde of zombies through gratuitous use of helicopter’ – this is an eighteen rated film for very good reason.
I won’t bore you with some plot mapping against the War on Terror analogy – this is a horror action sequel in the same vein as Aliens and yes I know that’s high praise but 28 Weeks Later really delivers.
No review would be adequate without bigging up the unforgettable, sweat inducing musical score by John Murphy which cunningly remixes the anthem from ‘28 Days Later’ and builds it into a pitch perfect companion to the on screen action.
Fresnadillo is a red eyed, sharp toothed major talent to watch and he should be applauded for creating easily the best horror film of 2007 so far.

Darkmatters rating system (out of 5):

Action öööö – heavy duty gore soaked and hugely enjoyable
Laughs öö – there are some amusing scenes
Horror öööö – strong horror in places and general dread throughout
Babes öööö – Poots is gorgeous and has potential to be the next 'big Brit thing'

Overall öööö1/2 (a must see for fans of extreme horror action)


"... as she was in V for Vendetta"


"Imogen Poots stars - Keira Knightley watch your back - a new hot brit talent has arrived"


"Our US 'chums' decide to napalm bomb most of London including the tube network - the only way to be sure I guess"

"Love this poster too - this film is cult classic already!"

Darkmatters: H O M E

The Gospel According To Chris Moyles - review

The Gospel According To Chris Moyles
Reviewed by Matt Adcock

In the aftermath of most unsettling events, there follows what has been termed 'Contagious Dead Time'. Cracks that exist in our perception of reality become strained, allowing strange and uncomprehending drips of anti sanity to seep into our conscious realm. So there’s this scratching on my subconscious – and it started when I read The Gospel According To Chris Moyles: The Story Of A Man And His Mouth… And now I’m freaking out – is Moyles really the fabled ‘Saviour of Radio One’?

The Gospel According To Chris Moyles certainly backs up his self professed radio wave messianic claim and the book is such a light read that you can tear through it in a couple of hours.
I have to admit that I like the big mouthed, Leeds United supporting, brash and provocative DJ. He makes me laugh when I catch him on the radio and the book feels very much like he’s managed to rip out a bit of himself (possibly by a bout of intense self mutilation).

The good stuff is where he talks about his life, his various radio jobs up to and including Radio One and the genuinely amusing anecdotes. The bad stuff is the inane name dropping and brown nosing to the various stars he’s interviewed etc…

If you hate Moyles it’s debatable as to whether this book will change your mind – it’s too much ‘him’ dripping from every page – but for those who are either fans or count yourself amongst the few people who might not have come across him, you could do much worse than slip this onto your reading list. It doesn’t claim to be anything more than it is – it’s the story of the man and his mouth…

Darkmatters rating system (out of 5):

Overall ööö1/2 (he really is the saviour)


"caution: this book might make you dig Moyles..."

Darkmatters: H O M E

Goya’s Ghosts - review

Goya’s Ghosts (15)
Dir. Milos Forman

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!!
- Especially not to turn up on an unseasonably chilly evening in the wilds of Luton… But that is where I found them and it wasn’t long before they were up to their old tricks of abducting, torturing and condemning the heretic hoards, well Natalie Portman at least…
This weird and occasionally wonderful tale of one of the most erm, well, weird and occasionally wonderful painters ever is directed by Milos ‘One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest’ Forman (who has form for this kind of lavish historical romp with his excellent Amadeus). Goya’s Ghosts or ‘Fantasmas de Goya’ to give it it’s authentic Spanish title covers a torrid period of Spanish history where they suffer at the hands of the evil and hypocritical Inquisition and then suffer some more when Napoleon decides to invade. It might not be very ‘feel good’ stuff but it’s brought to vivid and passionate life by a classy cast including Natalie Portman, Javier Bardem and Stellan Skarsgard.
Key to the plot is the twisted and staggeringly malicious Brother Lorenzo (Bardem) who is having his portrait painted by Goya (a nicely weighted performance by Skarsgard conveying both his mischievous nature and his virtuousness). The two men’s lives are rocked by the shapely form of Ines (Natalie Portman) Goya’s muse with an angel’s face but a body liable to ignite the lustful desires of even the most zealous monk – ahem, Lorenzo – I’m looking at you here.
Portman is delightful, handling her difficult role well – the torture scenes are especially grim and she also plays the equally beguiling illegitimate daughter of Ines towards the end of the film. But having been imprisoned by the Inquisition for supposedly being a Jew, Ines suffers terribly at the hands of the wicked monks and Lorenzo in particular. This is despite the noble actions of Goya but she is left to rot for fifteen years and is only freed when the French take over.
Goya’s Ghosts delivers much to be admired but doesn’t quite match the power or the wonder of Forman’s earlier classics. In the end you might find that the film simply whets your appetite and makes you want to find out more about the enigmatic Goya. The opening and closing title credits are a fantastic gallery of the painter’s work, which for me, are worth the price of admission on their own…

Darkmatters rating system (out of 5):

Action öö – sufficient but not masses
Laughs öö – some amusing scenes
Horror ööö – nude torture and some grimness
Babes ööö – Portman, yes please (apart from after 15 years in jail!)

Overall öö1/2 (competent but not stunning)


"viva la France... eh?"


"I told you - I'm not into that kinky monk torture stuff..."

Darkmatters: H O M E