Shark Night 3D (15)
Dir. David R. Ellis
Reviewed by Matt Adcock
Just when you thought is was safe to go back in the cool clear blu(ray) water… along comes a trashy Jaws rip-off which apes the success of the fun horror chomp-em-up Piranha 3D…
"ready for my close up!"
So first things first – Shark Night 3D might have sharks and be in 3D - as long as you’ve got a 3D TV, but most of it isn’t at night. But then I guess Shark mild afternoon doesn’t really have the same ring to it.
Directed David Ellis who has form for nastily offing teens from both Final Destination 2 and The Final Destination gives it a fair go bringing in not just big toothy sharks but also monsters of the human kind who are in league with them!?
"it's behind you!?"
The shark bait is an obligatory selection of hot looking college kids led by the foxy blonde bikini wearer Sara Palski (Sara Paxton) and her entourage including horny dudes, like repressed Nick (Dustin Milligan) and eye candy girls like Beth (Katherine McPhee). You can play horror bingo all the way through – stupid decisions, gratuitous posing and general dimness ‘I’ll take this mortally wounded pal across shark-infested waters on a waterski – what could possibly go wrong?’
The Louisiana setting works well and gives the film a slightly gothic edge – one that is helped no end by the film's human villains, a gruesome twosome of dodgy but cute Dennis (Chris Carmack) and his oddball hillbilly pal Carl (Jimmy Lee Jr.), who packs a set of sharpened teeth which could rival the sharks!?
"the girls - only picked for their brains"
The CGI shark are actually pretty cool, backed up with some nice robot efforts too but they are criminally under used. They do get some fun moments such as jumping out of the water to munch on passing teens and smashing through protective cages etc. but there was scope for more fish action...
Out of a potential 5 you have to go with a Darkmatters:
3 (pure trash schlock of the fun kind)
"miss Paxton minus the sharks"