DARKMATTERS - The Mind of Matt

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Sunday, August 14, 2005

Film Review: The Island

"roll up, roll up, get your Scarlett clones here!!"

The Island (12a)

Dir. Michael Bay

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

Congratulations, You Have Been Chosen, The Island Awaits YOU!!
It’s billed as a place of pure bliss – wonderful sunshine, breathtaking scenery and full of beautiful people – kind of exactly like Luton really… Only there is one small catch to all this – The Island might not be real, it might just be a big corporate lie to cover up something far more sinister…
So here is Michael ‘high octane action’ Bay’s $100million follow up to Bad Boys 2 and for the first time he’s flying solo without his usual producer Jerry ‘likes to blow stuff up in slow motion’ Bruckheimer. Does this mean that The Island is a more thoughtful, deep character study, which forsakes over the top action for lots of meaningful dialogue?
In a word “no”… The Island is every bit as stupid and gung ho as Bay’s other films like Armageddon or Pearl Harbour but at least it’s based on an interesting idea: In the near future you‘ll be able to buy your own clone which, should you ever need a new liver or perhaps a kidney or two, will be butchered so that you can enjoy ‘genetically identical’ spare parts. This is all well and good if you’re the buyer, not quite such a rosy prospect if you’re the clone in question… The plot sees clone Lincoln Six-Echo (Ewan Mcgregor) find out a bit too much about his future as an involuntary body part donor and go on the run with super foxylicious clone Jordan Two Delta (played by Scarlett Johansson). Cue some impressive car chases, gunfights and more running than in the London marathon as the clonesome twosome try to find their real ‘sponsors’ and blow the lid on the illegal clone community being run and manufactured by the nefarious Dr. Merrick (rent a Brit baddie Sean Bean).
When not crashing sexy futuristic cars or finding ever more unlikely ways to escape from the highly trained mercenary task force who are trying to terminate them, the clones find time to discover the joys of male / female interaction and generally learn a few things about the real world. At one point Lincoln Six-Echo evens gets to ask “Who is "God"?” to which helpful real world tech engineer McCord (Steve Buscemi) tells him: “You know when you really want something, you close your eyes and wish for it really hard? God is the guy that ignores you.” I was wishing really hard that The Island would be a great summer blockbuster, alas it’s just a another mindless piece of lightweight sci-fi action.

Darkmatt Rating: ööö (Cars, guns, clones and um... oh hey, that's enough to be going on with)
"Helicopter vs cool car... if this photo makes you horny, then you'll enjoy The Island"

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

the movies great ya know.
i don't like your review!