DARKMATTERS - The Mind of Matt

You met me at a very strange time in my life...

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Showing posts with label sick. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sick. Show all posts

Monday, May 12, 2008

BUG - the 'Darkmatters BUG SEASON kicks off' review


Bug (18)

Dir. William Friedkin

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

If paranoia is contagious… Then I’m freaking, I'm jumping like a jumping jack and dancing screaming, itching, squealing, fevered, feeling… hot hot hot!!!

And you will be too if you take this express elevator to insanity. Bug sees Director William Friedkin evoking the genius he hasn’t showed for 30 something years – it’s a horror / thriller / mindbend of the highest order… That’s obviously a subjective experience but if you’re on the market for a metaphoric descent into the mind of a weirdo (perhaps that’s why you’re reading Darkmatters anyway?)...
Bug should be your next stop…

You could say that this is a riff on post-traumatic stress disorder but the harrowing tale of what happens when nutjob loser Peter (Michael Shannon) meets lonely waitress Agnes (Ashley Judd – giving the performance of her career) in a cheap motel is a glimpse into the very mouth of madness…

With an ominous ringing phone – a certain harbinger of creeping doom – we get to see a love story between two intensely damaged individuals… swapping dialogue like - Peter: I am the drone, to which Agnes replies: I am the mother queen.

In fact here’s my favourite scene which will give you taste:

Peter: You want to know what's going on? All right, then you listen to me, you listen to what I'm going to tell you, because you don't know the… enormity of what we're dealing with here…

Agnes: I'm listening…

Peter: May the 29, 1954, a consortium of bankers, industrialists, corporate C.E.O.'s and politicians held a series of meetings over three days at the Bilderberg Hotel in Oosterbeek, Holland. They drew up a plan for maintaining the status quo…

Agnes: What is that?

Peter: It's the way things are. It's the rich get richer, and the poor get poorer…

Agnes: All right.

Peter: They devised a plan to manipulate technology, economics, the media, population control, world religion, to keep things the way they are. They have continued to meet once a year, every year, since that original meeting. Look it up.

Agnes: O.K….

Peter: Under their orders, the C.I.A. had smuggled Nazi scientists into the States to work with the American military at Calspan, developing an inner-epidermal tracking microchip…

Agnes: Wait…

Peter: A surveillance tool, a computer chip implanted in the skin of every human being born on this planet since 1982. An early test group for the prototype was the People's Temple, and when the Rev. Jim Jones threatened to expose them, he and every member of his church were assassinated… But it wasn't enough just to track people, to spy on them, they wanted control. They created the Intelligence Manned Interface biochip, a subcutaneous transponder, a computer chip imprinted with living brain cells. They needed lab rats to test it, and they found us: me, in the gulf, and another soldier working at Calspan at the time: Tim McVeigh.

Agnes: Oh, no, wait…

Peter: They turned us into… zombies, remote control assassins, then picked Tim up, chucked him in a prison factory. But I found my chip and cut it out, so they sent me back to the lab for further testing and a new experiment… They can't get to everybody, people slip through the cracks, or find the chip and remove it, like me, or Ted Kaczynski. They need a chip that will self-perpetuate, that will spread, like a virus, that people can pass to each other, to everyone.

Good stuff huh?

So having escaped her abusive ex-husband Goss (Harry Connick Jr.) who’s recently been released from prison and is on his way back to her, Agnes – who is still vulnerable having lost her six year old son (how, we’re never quite sure), is at a very low ebb when Peter and his bug infested blood turn up…

Bug is the closest thing you can get to experiencing an on screen insanity inducing claustrophobic nightmare which merges delusion with reality as bugs begin to disrupt the lives of Peter and Agnes...
It’s not a happy story, but this is an important film and a worthy headline entry into the Darkmatters ‘BUG SEASON’…

DARKMATTERS RATING SYSTEM (all ratings out of maximum 10):

Endorphin Stimulation: ööööööö (8)
- Bug will ransack your head

Tasty Action: öööööö (6)
- More a slow burner but there are some flashpoints

Gratuitous Babeness: öööööö (8)
- Ashley Judd does white trash with style

Mind Blight / Boredom: öööööö (6)
- This is going to freak some people out (alot)

Comedic Value: öööööö (6)
- The funnies dry up once the bugs move in

Arbitrary final rating: öööööööö (9)
- Powerful and desperately sad, this is a must see film

Liable to make you:
"try to extract your own teeth with pliers to make sure there aren’t any bug nests in them…"

DM Poster Quote:
“Oh – I like it when that lightening comes – yes I like it a lot…"


"Matt's new skinwork wasn't a hit with his wife"

Wednesday, February 06, 2008

Hitman - Darkmatters Competition Winners



So it's been over a month and the entries are in...

Here are top 'fantasy hits' submitted - names taken off to protect the innocent - some of you have won so check your emails / watch the post for Hitman branded goodies coming your way!! What can I say except that you're sick bunch... but I love ya!!

The 'Best' HIT
I'd have Noel Edmonds as my fantasy hit, chopped up and stuffed into those 15 red boxes.
Deal he he...

The 'Tasty' HIT
I’d take out Gordon Ramsey with exploding tomatoes. I’d kidnap one of the chefs appearing on “Ramsey’s kitchen nightmares” and leave a resignation letter that I get the chef to sign saying something like “I find it impossible to work with that man Ramsey…etc.”, then present myself that day as a chef (with forged references - they’ll be so desperate to take me on that they won’t check them). I prepare a salad and slip in some of the explosive tomatoes that I’ve had specially made. I do the presentation of the salad so badly that Ramsey shouts and screams and takes over saying “this is how you present a f******* salad”. I then take a few steps back and detonate the tomatoes by remote control. In all the ensuing chaos I flee…Job done.

The 'Can relate to' HIT
I would like to fantasy hit the person who was in front of me at tesco on christmas eve and had the last turkey

The 'Savage' HIT
I would assassinate Louis Walsh by method of strangling him with my barehands! (while playing Same Difference in earphones on his head). Can you tell Im a sad x factor fan?

The 'Might actually happen' HIT
My mum's boyfriend - he dresses in womens clothing (no joke!) and is a sex addict!!!!! How would I accomplish it - I would electrocute his caravan!

The 'Been watching SAW films too much?' HIT
I would take out Pete Doherty I would do this by locking him in a David Blaine style box hung above the River Thames and watching him detox and die infront of the world. To make it even better I would have another box next to him that was full of drugs that he couldn't get to.

The 'Might not need to bother' HIT
I'd have Britney Spears taken out for crimes against fashion. The fashion police will arrest her andsentence her to to a lifetime with a good stylist or death.

The 'Why bother?' HIT
Ok, I’d kill Gareth Gates by convincing him to bungee off the top of a tall building with a cut rope so it breaks!

The 'Overly detailed' HIT
Denis Norden, how it would happen – Filming the 100th “it’ll Be Alright On The Night” and it will go out with a bang, He will be dropping in all his cheesy one liners and his not-so funny jokes, he’ll be in front of the blue/green screens with random images going past, and sand bags all above him. I have two options, 1. cut the ropes that hold up the sandbags, or 2. break his neck and become… Denis Norden for the night… Which I would HATE! So its back to option 1, it would be a busy studio and they would be filming like there’s no tomorrow, I would be disguised as a props man and would have already broken his neck and buried him in the “trash”, I would now be right next to the sand bags and have found a Stanley knife lying on the side, I would pick it up and when he was in position I would slowly start to cut the rope, the bag would fall and crush his neck. As this happened I would walk away casually while everyone else was in a panic rushing towards a flimsy Denis Norden, escaping back to reality...

Look out for the Darkmatters JUNO competition launching this week!

Darkmatters: H O M E