X Men 3: The Last Stand - new artwork

"tasty new X Men 3: The Last Stand artwork"

More Xmen 3 artwork

Darkmatters: H O M E

Film Review: Chicken Little

Chicken Little (U)
Dir. Mark Dindal

Reviewed by Matt Adcock


It is my duty to warn you of an Avian Infection at your local cinema… No, fortunately not the deadly A (H5N1) virus or any sort of ‘bird flu’, this outbreak is of ugly little chickens and other assorted oddball farmyard characters. You can easily tell if you’ve been subjected the ‘Chicken Little’ infection, the symptoms are – mild amusement followed by a vague sense of disappointment, and a nagging feeling that you could have had more fun staying home and watching Shrek again on DVD.
Chicken Little I’m afraid is the very definition of a disposable movie and will not be remembered as one of Disney’s finest hours – even if it is their first fully computer animated film without the help of the mighty Pixar. Director Mark ‘Emperor’s New Groove’ Dindal does a serviceable job but it’s feather weight ‘by the numbers’ entertainment which you’ll have forgotten long before this year’s stampede of other animated ‘animal adventures’ charge the multiplexes.
Based on the story of that little chicken who cried wolf when he thought the sky was falling, it’s now a year later and he’s still trying to live down the embarrassment of his wild goose chasing antics. The fowl plot is a hodgepodge of War of the Worlds, Animal Farm and erm, actually there isn’t really very much plot at all. Chicken Little’s voice acting talent is average with no real A list stars, the visuals are functional but lack flair and the clever references to other films and culture that Shrek etc have done so well are obvious by their omission. The one exception that made me smile was when a runaway giant ball rolls into the local cinema which happens to be showing Raiders of the Lost Ark – at the exact scene where Indy is running away from the giant booby trap ball… But I wasn’t completely surprised when I noticed that although my two boys seemed quite entertained, my wife had fallen asleep by halfway through.
Chicken Little isn’t a bad film, it’s just a bit too limited and uninspired. As a fan of most of the recent animated features – I was hoping for more. Still not long to wait for Ice Age 2: The Meltdown or Over the Hedge (with Bruce Willis voicing a raccoon) both of which look much more finger licking good than this.
You might still feel like Chicken Tonight, but unless you’re very young or extremely easily pleased I’m afraid that Chicken Little has a whiff of cold turkey.

Poster Quote: “how do you like it... boiled or fried?”

Darkmatt Rating: öö (the sky is falling... on Disney!?)


"nice marketing campaign... shame about the film!"

Darkmatters: H O M E

Film Review: Hangman's Curse

"ooh spooky... but not that spooky"

Hangman's Curse (15)
Dir. Rafal Zielinski

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

If there’s something strange, in the neighbourhood, who you gonna call? Well if you’re a devout Christian then you might call ‘The Veritas Project’ rather than your regular Ghostbusters because these guys are a Holy Living family who travel around in a high tech RV solving crimes that ‘might have a demonic element to them’…

Yes, the cheesy novel "The Veritas Project: Hangman's Curse" by prolific but not altogether talented author Frank Peretti got made into a movie back in ’03. I missed it then but decided that it might be worth checking out after getting into Surface and realising the cute lead actress Leighton Meester plays the godsquad daughter. But is there really a curse? Has the ghost of a bullied kid come back to wreak death on today’s mean jocks, or is something more human but equally sinister going on? And most importantly - where's Scooby-Doo?

So the Veritas Project (veritas being the Latin word for truth) are made up of Nate Springfield (David ‘looks like a rough Patrick Swayze’ Keith) takes a job at the school as a janitor, while mum Sarah (Mel Harris) runs the investigation from behind the scenes. Twins Elisha and Elijah Springfield (Leighton Meester and Douglas Smith) get to join the student body to investigate from a student’s perspective…

As a believer I often find it hard to watch Christian made films or even read Christian authored fiction because most of it is so poor… Call me a heretic but I’ll take a gruesome but decently directed, acted and plotted movie, which is blessed with a reasonable effects budget any day over a ‘religious backed stinker’ – think Left Behind etc…

I noted before seeing this that The Naked Critic had described Peretti’s offering thus:

“I don't want to turn this into an attack on Peretti. I'm sure he's a very sweet, kind man. He's just directly responsible for unleashing a movie that made my eyes and ears hurt. We're not talking "So bad it's good," here...we're talking crimes-against-humanity bad. Spawn-of-Satan bad. Love-child-of-Judas-Iscariot-and-Pontius-Pilate-bad. Mel-Gibson's-ego bad. It's never a good sign when a "Christian" movie makes me pray to Jesus to make it stop. But hey, at least it got me praying, right?”

Alas he’s kind of on the money.
Hangman’s Curse has only one thing for it and it isn’t the lack of sex, violence, bad language or genuine scares that only a Christian backed ‘horror’ project could possibly have…

No it’s that cute Leighton Meester – yes she’s hot even when struggling to keep a straight face delivering dialogue like when hunky jock Blake asks her:
“Do you believe in the hereafter?”
She replies: “Most definitely.”
And he goes for the kill: “Good. Then you must know what I'm here after.”
She retorts: “And you know you’re not going to get it.”

So this might be worth a look for mentally deficient Christian young people – if only as a warning of how geeky and unconnected to real world they are in danger of becoming. But whilst it gets a couple of stars for trying hard (and casting Meester) – this isn’t going to win many fans or any souls for Christ in the near future.

Poster Quote: “she’s young and hot but she’s only after your soul”

Darkmatt Rating: öö (they ain’t scared o no ghost – and neither will you be)

"you can't help but smile - at the cheesy effects"

"Miss Meester doing an 'Eve' with the naughty snake? Nope, not in this film!"

Leighton Meester -making Surface a must see!

Darkmatters: H O M E

Surface - UK ITV2 Time / Day Change

"There's something in the water alright!?"

Surface - how do I love thee, let me count the ways...

It's definitely the best thing on TV at the moment - huge sea monsters, compelling characters and mystery, plus the occasional uber babe (Leighton Meester et al) in swimsuits... What's not to love?

Now I'm not sure if it's a good thing or a bad omen but ITV2 has moved the time / day that they screen Surface in the UK - new time is TUESDAY'S 8pm.

That's tonight... nice!

"Leslea Fisher... another cute reason to see Surface... even with French subtitles!?"

Links:
Surface comes to the UK
Leighton Meester -making Surface a must see!
Darkmatters: H O M E

M:i:III Mission Impossible 3 trailer lights my fire...

"every Scientologist for himself!! run Tom run!"


"Mr Cruise, when I throw the grenade I'd like you to make an emergency stop..."


"anybody says this looks like a scene out of Mr & Mrs Smith 2 - shoot them!!"

See the trailer for M:I:III by clicking this link

Darkmatters: H O M E

Film Review: Zathura

"In the future, Jehovah's Witnesses didn't take kindly to having the door closed in their faces..."

Zathura: A Space Adventure (PG)
Dir. Jon Favreau

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

Before you go Kentucky Disney Fry yourself some ‘Chicken Little’, I’ll let you know if that’s as tasty an option as it sounds next week, how about a premium slice of family space adventure in Zathura?
What we have here is a new adventure from the wacky world of Jumanji – you know – where board games ‘come alive’ in a way that not even a drunken bout of Twister ever could… Basically Zathura is Jumanji in space, two young boys find an antique looking board game, and before you can say ‘where’s Robin Williams this time?’ the whole house has warped into hyperdrive and the only way home is the finish the game. Whilst in space ‘no-one can hear you scream’, but they can sense your heat, especially if they are Zorgons – lizardmen who eat meat and don’t take kindly to anything non-Zorgon existing. So it’s not long until Walter (Josh Hutcherson) and younger brother Danny (Jonah Bobo), have to stave off a full-scale alien attack, survive a living room specific meteor shower and try to come to terms with their parents' divorce. Also along for the ride is their reluctant babysitting older sister Lisa (Kristen ‘Panic Room’ Stewart) but as she spends most of the time cryogenically frozen in her nightwear she isn’t a great deal of help.
Director Jon ‘Elf’ Favreau mixes up just enough action, explosions and berserk robots to make a trip to Zathura a viable Saturday afternoon’s entertainment. It’s scary enough in places to stop any young budding astronauts you take with you dismissing it as blatant sentimental moralising but it does carry important messages about being nice to your siblings etc.
Everyone on screen looks like they’re having a fun time making the film and you can just about forgive the over acting youngsters because they are ably supported by actors like Tim Robbins (the boy’s dad) an Dax Shepard as a jet packed astronaut they pick up along the way.
The special effects are well done, the Zorgons are suitably nasty and the space scenes of the house boldly going where no house has gone before are quite beautiful.
My son Luke (who is almost 9) came out impressed – using words like ‘wicked’, ‘cool’ and ‘exciting’ to explain to his younger brother what it was like. I’d echo that as it appealed to my inner sci fi geek, remember, the force will be with you etc…

Poster Quote: “more fun than a barrel of Robin Williams' - in space!!”

Darkmatt Rating: ööö (good space fun and games for all the family)


"the boys soon realised that their sister was giving them the 'cold shoulder'"

Darkmatters: H O M E

Matt's Life is sponsored by Sony...

Call me a Sony 'fanboy' if you will but I've had nothing but pleasure from the many Sony products that make my life better (TV, DVD recorder, camera, PS2, photo printer etc)...

Here's my current top 3:

1. The PSP - man I love this shiny little piece of gaming / media viewing / mp3 listening joy...

"You know, the black one is very nice but just look at that ceramic white one!!
And it's my B'day in a couple of weeks!?"

2. The Sony Ericsson P990... Name is on the waiting list, come on guys we need a confirmed UK launch date!

"Mmmmm the 'complete' phone experience! I'll be watching
Spurs score via 3G on this baby as soon as it arrives"

Read about how cool it is at: www.mobilegazette.com

3. My Sony Vaio laptop (17" extra black screen is a joy for DVD playback)

"Novel writing is a pleasure on this baby (PC gaming isn't bad either!?)"

So, roll on PS3 - I may never be rich, but at least I'll be happy in my Sony gadget filled existence...

Links:

DVD HDD Recorder: Sony rdrhx510

Sony PS3 vs Xbox 360

Sony want to mess with your brain

Darkmatters: H O M E

Film Review: The Ice Harvest

The Ice Harvest (15)
Dir. Harold Ramis

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

Ho ho ho, here’s an exert from Charlie Arglist’s (John Cusack) Christmas letter:

“Dear Santa, this year whilst I haven’t been a very good boy, could you please still see to that I get away with the $2million that I stolen from my mob employer?
Yours Charlie ‘loveable hero’ of The Ice Harvest.
Oh and if you could help me survive the vicious schemes of my ‘partner in crime’ Vic (Billy Bob Thornton) and femme fatale Renata (Connie Nielsen) that would be a bonus!”

Yes this is a festive season comic thriller that cracks along ticking all the boxes to make it worth seeing but is never in danger of making it onto anyone’s ‘top 10 film of the year’ list. Except maybe Adrian Summerson who I saw this with… He confessed that he wasn’t getting to see many films so it could creep in by sheer lack of competition!?

Cusack is great (as always), driven by a fatalistic belief that "It is futile to regret. You do one thing, you do another…So what?" – The set up is a good one: can the partners escape with the loot, who will double cross who, will the dopey cop rumble them, will anyone manage to get the girl etc etc.

Ramis directs it all with a sense of style which reminded me of Fargo and although there is very little ‘new’ brought to the table in The Ice Harvest, I’d not hesitate to recommend it to anyone looking for some watchable thriller thrills – laced with a very black comic streak.

Poster Quote: “the Ice Man cometh, then he steals $2million and legs it… ”

Darkmatt Rating: ööö (solid stylish and entertaining but no classic)


"faraway, so close... not so easy when your foot is knifed to the floor!?"

Darkmatters: H O M E

Adcocks bag HARD-Fi tickets

"see you in May"

I love HARD-Fi and so does my hot foxy wife... So it was with much excitement that she called me to let me know she had managed to get us tickets to see HARD-Fi at Brixton Academy in May. NICE.

Altogether now:
"Oh, I've been working all week I'm tired, I've been working all week and I'm... Just living for the weekend!!
Hey hey, I've got some money I just got paid, I got some money and I can't wait -at 6 o'clock, I'm out of here...
Out there tonight is the night of my life got my name on.
Run down the street adidas on my feet I'm on fire.

Working all the time, work is such a bind
Got some money to spend, living for the weekend
When it gets too much, I live for the rush
Got some money to spend, living for the weekend

Oh man, I've been working all week I'm shot,
I've been working all week for what?
Just living for the weekend..."

Buy the album why don't you - it's excellent!!

Darkmatters: H O M E

Norse God Test...

After seeing this on Gingerkidjoe.com I just had to find out for myself which Norse God I was most like.

And the answer is... I'm 90%:


Which Norse God or Goddess are you most like?
created with QuizFarm.com

Darkmatters: H O M E

X Men 3 pick a mutant...

"ooh - so many mutants, so little time... roll on X Men 3"

Xmen-3-nice-poster

Darkmatters: H O M E

Film Review: House of 9

"Hopper was always going to win the
'Sean Connery look alike contest' against Kelly Brook"

House of Nine
Dir. Steven Monroe

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

Day four in the Big Brother house… Kelly Brook has been electrocuted and she hadn’t even had chance to strip off. Several people have died, shooting, stabbing and bludgeoning have occurred but more concerning still, Dennis Hopper is hamming it up like a staving mad man let loose on an ‘all you can eat bacon buffet’…
Who goes… you don’t decide, but you do get to watch as 9 strangers are abducted off the street and trapped in a house (see where they got the cunning title now eh?) – and offered $5million to the sole survivor – once they’ve killed the rest…
Hardly a new concept but still a fairly amusing way to pass the time – HO9 owes it’s existence to films like Cube, Saw and My Little Eye. This British effort bills itself as “The ultimate test of human character” – they might be referring to having the endurance to watch all 86 mins without laughing at the clichéd characters but I think the makers had loftier ambitions.

Here’s a quick character synopsis by the good people over at www.beyondhollywood.com
“The characters are inevitably familiar archetypes: the Hardnosed Cop (Raffaello Degruttola), who besides being left with the only gun in the house, also sports cinema's most unsightly mustache; the Angry Black Guy (Ashley Walters), who was on the verge of a record deal when he got snatched, and who opens up the proceedings by informing everyone how much he hates cops, white folk, and especially "white bitches" (a phrase he uses often); the feuding married couple, of which the husband half is a controlling jerk; the stuffy clothing designer (Peter Capaldi); the mousy dancer (Kelly Brook); the Spoiled Rich Bitch (Susie Amy); Dennis Hopper as an Irish (I think) priest; and finally, the British equivalent of White Trailer Trash (Morven Christie)… The Angry Black Guy is very angry; the Controlling Cop is very controlling; the Passive Girl is very passive; and the Rich Spoiled Bitch is -- well, you get the idea.”
One thing that did annoy me was that the house might be rigged so as to be impossible to escape from and have 75 cameras recording every grisly move made by the inhabitants but boy does their image quality suck… If you were the type to invest masses of cash in adducting people, decking out a killzone house and offering $5million to the winner – you could probably have afforded cameras that offer a decent resolution? I know I would. When the director switches to the ‘sick game controller’s’ point of view you can barely tell Kelly Brook apart from Dennis Hopper or Susie Amy (Chardonnay from Footballers’ Wives) which caused me some consternation…

And as a Christian I couldn’t pass up the chance to share with you some theological thinking related to human nature – as Thomas Boston (1676–1732) said:

“The four states of human nature are:
Primitive Integrity;
Entire Depravity;
Begun Recovery;
and Consummate Happiness or Misery.
It must be noted that in all four states, man is free to choose what to do or not to do according to his will.”

Anyway – you’re free to choose whether to check out this passable human cliché study with lame killings and an obligatory twist ending…

Poster Quote: “They died screaming - screaming ‘I want to kill my agent for putting me in the cast of House of 9’…”

Darkmatt Rating: öö (been there, done that, got the $5million)

"Footballers' Wives: the sequel... Chardonnay hadn't dressed to kill 8 strangers"

Darkmatters: H O M E

Film Review: Match Point

Match Point (12a)
Dir. Woody Allen

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

I haven’t enjoyed a Woody Allen movie since 1973’s Sleeper so imagine my surprise when two of my very best friends tell me that Match Point is really good and I have to see it…

It becomes obvious to me that either –
a. two of my best friends are lying bast*rds
b. two of my best friends have been in touch with each other and thought it would be funny to send me to see a duff film
or
c. two of my best friends are right…

So I went and saw Match Point – on the plus side I thought – at least it’s a thriller (I’m always up for a good thriller) and it’s got Scarlett Johansson in it and I’m always up for a bit of Scarlett Johansson (you can guess which bit in particular)…

And I’ll be tied up and unspeakably assaulted with a unwatched DVD copy of Broadway Danny Rose if Match Point didn’t actually turn out to be a great little thriller!

So, faith in friends restored and I can now honestly say that I ‘enjoyed a Woody Allen film the other day’… without smirking and shaking my head. Anyway, Jonathan Rhys Meyers plays Chris Wilton – your average guy who marries the ditzy daughter of a rich family (Emily Mortimer) and then meets his new potential sister in law - Nola Rice (Johansson) and falls for her.
Murder, sex and all sorts of tension ensue in a most agreeable fashion. Meyers gets some great lines like:
“The innocent are sometimes slain to make way for grander schemes. You were collateral damage.”

My favourite interchange between Meyers and Johansson is this:

Chris: So you are aware of your affect on men?
She replies: They think I'd be something very special.
Chris: And are you?
Nola: No one's ever asked for they're money back.

Catch it on the big screen if you can – or be sure to see it on DVD!

Poster Quote: “Match Point gave me a Woody I could be proud of…”

Darkmatt Rating: öööö (Passion Temptation Obsession stylishly done)


"Hey - look everyone... I'm having it off with Scarlett Johansson... in public!!"

Darkmatters: H O M E

Ultraviolet: Jovovich looks like kicking butt!!

Ultraviolet: Heads Up

I was one of those happy souls who really enjoyed 2002's Equilibrium by Kurt Wimmer... Well, now he's back with Ultraviolet and it looks like 'my cup of tea'!

Milla Jovovich stars and apparently uses a more authentic variant of "Gun Kata" - a unique blend of gunfighting and martial arts developed by director Kurt Wimmer for his previous film Equilibrium.

Count me in (check these photos and let me know your thoughts!)


"that's what I like to see... a lovely lady with a shiny bum dispatching baddies with cool guns..."


"borrowing Daredevil's leathers looks good - not sure about the glasses though?"

Darkmatters: H O M E

Film Review: Munich

Munich (15)
Dir. Steven Spielberg

Reviewed by Matt Adcock


The world was watching in 1972 as 11 Israeli athletes were murdered at the Munich Olympics. This is the story of what happened next… and man it’s strong stuff too.
Thrilling but brutal, grim and highly paranoid – that’s a description which fits both the plot overall and the actions of the main protagonists of the film. Eric ‘Hulk’ Bana is on scorching form as Avner, the meek leader of a revenge hit squad unofficially commissioned by the Israeli government to seek out and execute those Palestinians deemed responsible for the Munich killings. Avner is a man driven by the desire to please his mother country even when faced with actions that he questions and targets whose part in the Munich atrocity he doesn’t know. Motivated and galvanised principally by Prime Minister Golda Meir who tells him: ”Forget peace for now. We have to show them we're strong.” This is a film that will make you think long into the night about morals, righteous revenge and the value of life – throw away entertainment this is not.
But then it is a Steven Spielberg film, so you can expect the meticulous attention to detail - it really does feel like a historical flashback if you have any memories of the 70 's. This is evidently a high quality package, which tightly winds a compelling tale based on real events, liberally sprinkled with hard hitting murders and an ever-increasing sense of menace that will stay with you.
In this post 9/11 world it is somehow easier to believe that there were groups operating 30 odd years ago whose sole objectives were the hunting down and killing of terrorist ring leaders wherever they might be. Spielberg to his credit though doesn’t play for quick ‘kill the bad guys’ thrills but really gets into the brain scrambling consequences of the Israeli reactive stance and the cyclical nature of violence and terrorism.
There are some truly superb nail biting sequences that will make you sweat with that delicious edge of the seat tension you only find in films which suck you right into the drama on screen. My pick is one scene where a target’s cute young daughter is on the verge of answering a booby-trapped telephone – you’ll really want to scream at the screen.
In short then, Munich is potentially the most powerful, intense and important film of the year already, the definition of a ‘must see’ movie.

Darkmatt Rating: ööööö (excellent thriller - that everyone who likes film needs to see)

"For the love of God man - take off the 'I'm a Undercover Hitman' cap!!"

Darkmatters: H O M E

Desperate Housewives series 2... nice to see you!!

"Everyone has a little dirty laundry... I just like watching these people's on Channel 4"

Desperate Housewives series 2

I know it's not macho but damn I do love those desperate housewives and I for one am very glad that they are back on UK TV this month... Although I plan to be 'doing' series one again if my own lovely desperate housewife gets me the DVD box set for my B'day!

Series 2 kicked off well last week and I'll be hooked each week again - DH and Surface are the only two shows I'm catching every episode of - although Life On Mars is proving diverting too.

Teri Hatcher as Susan is my fav housewife - but Gabrielle gets some of the best lines like:

"The only person more self-centred than me is Carlos,
he's so self-centred he doesn't even know how self-centred I am."


"She can certainly wear a mean pair of jeans..."

Link em if you got em...

Surface comes to the UK

Earlier post about Desperate Housewives Season 2

Darkmatters: H O M E

Book Review: Altered Carbon

Altered Carbon
by Richard Morgan

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

Stuart Carter over at http://www.infinityplus.co.uk/ says “a first novel so exciting, so addictive and so bone-crunchingly in your face that it beggars the need for such virtual reality as it occasionally employs.” Unfortunately he’s not talking about Darkmatters but Altered Carbon and whilst he's obviously more impressed with AC than I was (or just trying to get a jacket quote in the next print run)- in the main I have to concur with his thoughts...

A friend leant me Altered Carbon after I’d mapped out the plot of Darkmatters for him – ‘it’s kind in the same area’ he said – and he’s right. If you like near future action thrillers with serious amounts of gunplay, hot women, robots and cool heroes then I’d urge you to check this out.

Quick plot overview from Wikipedia: “Kovacs is an Envoy - a member of a military unit formed to cope with the challenge of interstellar warfare. In the novel's universe, faster-than-light travel is only possible by transmitting the digitally stored mind via 'needlecast' across space into a new sleeve. Transmitting normal soldiers in this way will severely inhibit their effectiveness, since they will have to cope with finding themselves in a new body while fighting. To combat this, Envoy training emphasises the mental techniques necessary to survive in different bodies over physical strength (which is useless when the soldier is downloaded into a new body). The effectiveness of the Envoy Corps' mental training is such that Envoys are banned from holding governmental positions on most worlds.
Kovacs - who is killed in the novel's prologue and stored in digital form - is downloaded into a temporary sleeve formerly inhabited by Bay City policeman Elias Ryker and turned loose on the investigation. The plot unfolds through Kovacs's "hard-boiled" narrative. Kovacs eventually solves the mystery, but only after great personal suffering under which he is able to bear up only because of his Envoy training.”

Darkmatt Rating: öööö (future violent noir – detective thriller meets cyberpunk)


"Drew Barrymore - would make a good 'Ortega' - one of the love interests in AC"

You can probably pick up a copy of the book here: www.amazon.co.uk

Other books that I’ve reviewed that you might like if you enjoyed Altered Carbon:

Pattern Recognition by William Gibson

Diary by Chuck Palahniuk

Darkmatters: H O M E

Film Review: Underworld Evolution

Underworld: Evolution (18)
Dir. Len Wiseman

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

I am a Death Dealer, sworn to destroy those known as the Lychans (werewolves to you). Our war has waged for centuries, unseen by human eyes – apart form that whole Underworld film back in 2003, but ah, well, if you’ve seen that then you’ll know what I’m on about.
Underworld: Evolution is both a sequel and prequel to the first film. Kate ‘cutest, shiniest "behind" on the planet’ Beckinsale is back as Selene – the sexiest vampire ever dreamt up. And more importantly perhaps, she’s still wearing her wet look rubber cat suit that really should carry a health warning for men with weak hearts… Anyway, this time we get to see vampire leader Bill Nighy go supernova for his five minutes of screen time in an overacting master class which will possibly never be equalled. Scott Speedman is also back as the vampire / werewolf hybrid Michael Corvin – which basically means he can turn grey and grow fangs – when he’s not copping off with Selene. Yes, I feel it’s my duty to warn you that this time the gorgeous Beckinsale, in a shameless bid to drive men over the edge, strips off for a spot of naked frolicking. That plus all manner of grisly death scenes (including possibly the best death by helicopter blades ever) ups the rating of the sequel plus the action and excitement are cranked up a few notches from part one.
So, if you liked Underworld, then Underworld: Evolution will ring all your bells, but if the idea of seeing superhuman creatures beating the living daylights out of each other doesn’t excite, then this may not be the film for you.
There is a plot of sorts – opening with a quick detour back to 1202 to show some of the vampire/lycan origins, then it’s full steam ahead with Selene and Michael battling super baddie vampire Marcus (Tony Curran) who is trying to free his imprisoned super werewolf brother William (Brian Steele) and unleash a plague of uncontrollable werewolves – which is generally thought to be a bad thing.
It all cracks along at a blistering pace; the action is cool and over the top to the point where you can’t help laughing along. The cinematic s are chic and gloomy and generally designed to make Selene look good (but then it is directed by Beckinsale’s husband Len Wiseman so that’s not so very surprising), and to be honest she really doesn’t need much help. In fact I’d be interested to find out where you can buy outfits like Selene’s (could make a great 12th wedding anniversary present for my lovely wife!?).

Darkmatt Rating: öööö (stupid - yes, but sexy as hell and cool too!)


"great outfit - but I'm not convinced I'd look as good as Kate in it!?)"

Here's my review of Underworld from 2003 (before Darkmatters existed) in case you missed it:

Underworld (15)

I am a Death Dealer, sworn to destroy those known as the Lychans. Our war has waged for centuries, unseen by human eyes. But all that is about to change… err, sorry got a bit carried away there but Underworld is that kind of film. You have to buy into it whole-heartedly otherwise you’ll be sitting there saying “I’m sure that would never happen”.
I absolutely LOVED this film – for so many reasons - but the main one being Kate Beckinsale who plays Selene, by far the foxiest vampire you’re ever likely to come across. I really don’t know how she got into her PVC cat suit but it makes her look awesome. In fact there is now a fierce debate raging on several film websites as to who is sexier – Selene from Underworld or Trinity from The Matrix, I asked a couple of my mates and even they were split (Guy the Pilot went for Trinity, John the Web Designer for Selene). I think for me Selene just edges it but you get the idea - we’re talking seriously attractive women here – right up there with my wife!!
OK, so what else is great about Underworld? The battles for one thing, the special effects for another and shock horror – this fantasy action adventure / sensory overload even has a clever plot (think Romeo and Juliet with fangs and guns). Also don’t get me started on the cool cars, impressive gothic feel to the proceedings and of course the costumes.Anyway, it seems that vampires and werewolves have fallen out and are now at war. The vamps being aristocratic dandies who lounge around huge mansions when not out hunting down the more thug like werewolves (Lychans) who shack up in grubby underground dens. The reason for this animosity is that both these immortal groups share a common ancestor and when a wolf boy once fell for a vampire girl it all ended in tears. Now we get Selene who whilst out stomping some wolf scum meets the sexy Michael (Scott Speedman, another Brit). One thing leads to another – he gets bitten by a werewolf but saves her life and before you can say “I’m sure that would never happen” you’ll be caught up in the ultra violent fallout of their growing love. Oh yes, Underworld is essential viewing for anyone who likes tasty action, horror, romance or just fine women in rubber.

Some photos of Selene: underworld-2-evolution

Darkmatters: H O M E

Kate Beckinsale is back... in Underworld: Evolution

"Kate didn't look so sure about the threesome when she saw how hairy the blokes were"

Underworld: Evolution opens in a few hours in the UK... I'm quite excited about it - I mean even if the movie isn't all that - Kate Beckinsale back her famous 'Selene' outfit will be enough for me!!

Check back for review this weekend.

More photos: underworld-2-evolution

Darkmatters: H O M E

Film Review: JARHEAD

Jarhead (15)
Dir. Sam Mendes’

Reviewed by Matt Adcock


Welcome to the U.S. Marines. Thank you signing up to become a Jarhead – a hollow headed recruit ready to have your mind filled with killing know how, patriotic jingoism and an unswerving desire to serve your commanding officer. It’s a great life. See the world (well the desert at least), make some interesting new friends (admittedly mostly psychos), and after an arduous soul destroying training process – go out there are kill some enemies*. Remember that your country loves you and is grateful for the oil supplies your actions are helping to secure…
*Actually you might not get to kill (or even see) any enemies on the duration of your tour of duty, but there are refunds.
For most problems the U.S. Marine is issued a solution. If ill, go to sickbay. If wounded, call a Corpsman. If dead, report to graves registration. If losing his mind, however, no standard solution exists… So, welcome to The Suck.
Sam ‘American Beauty’ Mendes’ film is a fascinating, disturbing and powerful portrayal of one Jarhead’s experience of the first Gulf War. Based on the real life Anthony Swofford's memoirs – he is brought to the big screen by a suitably bulked up Jake Gyllenhaal. Perhaps. the most shocking thing about Jarhead is that there is hardly any ‘action’ – it is a study of men going out of their minds through boredom, whilst always under the tease/spectre of attack. The harsh desert conditions combine with the ever increasing realisation that the girlfriends back home may not be wearing yellow ribbons and waiting patiently for them. Doubts and lack of anything meaningful to do start to sap the sanity from the soldiers and while it might not sound like it; it’s compelling stuff to watch. Jamie Foxx is excellent as Swofford’s corp loving Staff Sergeant and Mendes delivers some retina burning images such as Iraq’s burning oilfields.
One thing is for sure – Jarhead is not likely to prompt a massive rush to enlist in the way that more pumped up action orientated war films have (yes, I admit that even I wanted to be a Naval Aviator after Top Gun). But I strongly recommend this film – it is a delicious counterbalance to the ‘managed’ news coverage, which can make it all look so easy to the casual observer.
Now, repeat after me. “This is my rifle. There are many like it but this one is mine. Without my rifle, I am nothing. Without me, my rifle is nothing”... Woo Haa!!

Darkmatt Rating: öööö (I feel the need, the need for speed... erm or going mental in the desert)


"The Suck is always waiting..."

Darkmatters: H O M E