Planet Terror - review

"High velocity automatic rifles for legs - saves on shoes!!"

Planet Terror (18)

Dir. Robert Rodriguez

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

Welcome to Planet Terror – the zombie B-movie inspired - cheese-ball-tastic second half of the Grindhouse project directed by Robert ‘Spy Kids’ Rodriguez. It’s a non-stop roller coaster of guns, babes, crazed flesh hungry mutants and generally unacceptable exploitation – bit like your average Friday night out in Luton.
I’ve yet to see another film quite so keen to slap you directly in the face with an overload of gloopy horror, laugh out loud comedy and a frantic paced action. You’ll barely have time to catch your breath after the mock trailer opening before finding yourself up to your neck in a full-blooded sensory overload.

Bruce Willis leads a shady military group who have commissioned a new deadly bio-weapon that turns anyone infected by it into a cannibalistic mutant zombie, complete with horrific mutations, most of which are covered in disgusting gunk filled legions. When a deal to sell the weapon goes wrong and the test subjects escape into the local town – all hell breaks loose. Caught in the gruesome path of this military created zombie apocalypse are a number of memorable characters including smoking hot Go Go dancer Cherry Darling (a career best role for Rose McGowan) who gets one of her legs ripped off and replaced with a massive automatic rifle / grenade launcher. Cherry teams up with maverick gun slinging bad boy El Wray (Freddy Rodríguez) and a rag tag bunch of survivors, then all bets are well and truly off as to who will survive and quite what will be left of them. With so much insanely over the top action splattering the screen you’ll either be shocked and awed or be feeling bemused and a bit ill. Either way do look out for the literal ‘no brainer’ scene involving Fergie from The Black Eyed Peas, it perfectly captures the tone for the whole movie.

You've probably have already worked out if this might be the film for you but I’ll leave you with my favourite piece of dialogue. Distraught Doctor Dakota Block (Marley Shelton) - who you could have spotted in Tarantino’s half of the Grindhouse ‘Death Proof’ earlier this year, gives a handgun to her young son. “If anyone comes to the car who’s not me I want you to shoot them” she says. “What if it’s dad?” He asks, only to be told “especially if it’s your dad!”

Out of 5 you have to go with a mental 4 (Cheap and nasty, actually, probably not that cheap but v. cool!)...

Darkmatters ratings:

Action öööö – goes over the top and doesn't slow down
Laughs ööö – very funny in places
Horror ööööö –superb splatter - if that's what you're after
Babes öööö – Rose McGowan is scorching!!

Overall öööö (the perfect grindhouse fun)


"Bruce Willis - eating up the screen in style"


"I'm thinking that not many women could pull off that look so well!"

Darkmatters: H O M E