Darkmatters Review: Ted

Ted (15)

Dir. Seth MacFarlane

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

“No matter how big a splash you make in this world whether you're Corey Feldman, Frankie Muniz, Justin Bieber or a talking teddy bear, eventually, nobody cares…”

That’s the censored version of the opening to Ted, the wacky story of a how 35-year-old John (Mark Wahlberg), lives with his odd best friend –Ted (Seth MacFarlane) a furry teddy bear which has been magically brought to life. You see Ted is a foul-mouthed comedy from the makers of adult orientated cartoon show Family Guy – which is both a plus in the fact that it is very funny, buy also a minus (if offended by swears, rudeness, crudeness, drug-use and infantile stupidity).

OK so that’s the acceptability / potential outrage warning out of the way – if you’re still reading then I’m guessing that you’re interested to see how a film about a grown man and a magically ‘alive’ degenerate teddy works. Ted by the way is a work of CGI genius creation – probably the best interaction of real and animated characters to date.

"Ted and 'friends'"

Ted subscribes to the ‘throw lots of potential funnies at the screen and hope that at least some of them work’ school of film making – and the fact is that many of the funnies are really really funny. Not at all subtle, and mostly off the scale offensive to many but when Ted hits the mark with savvy pop culture references e.g. when Ted gets ripped in half he looks down at himself and says “ I look like the robot from Aliens!?” genuine laugh out loud scenes it is at times the funniest film of the year.

Anyone who can remember the ‘80s and especially those watched Flash Gordon get serious fan service here – even with ‘Flash’ himself Sam J. Jones making a brilliant cameo. The rapid-fire easy crowd-pleasing gags keep the film rolling along and for every couple that don’t hit their mark there is the occasional flash-bang direct hit which had the audience in stitches.

"cute sometimes"

Plot wise Ted is a bit weak, McFarlane's story sees John having to weigh up his juvenile waster partying with Ted and the fact that it is incompatible with his long term girlfriend Lori (the lovely Mila Kunis) if he ever wants to settle down. Cue male angst of the ‘having to finally grow up’ kind – which to be fair Wahlberg’s perpetually worried expression fits incredibly well.

Ted is a furry subversive blast of very bad taste humour – only you know if that appeals - but it delivers on all counts!

Out of a potential 5 you have to go with a Darkmatters:


öööö – Funny restricTED material ahoy


4 – eat my furry little friend's mirth

Awesomeness ööö – some unforgettable scenes

Laughs öööö – lots of belly (bad taste) laughs

Horror öö – some grimness but nothing too scary

Babes ööö – Kunis is yummy

Spiritual Enlightenment ö – none

Alternative opinion from THE GUARDIAN here

"Mila Kunis - worth ditching a bear for?"

"yummy"