Darkmatters Review: District 9

District 9 (15)

Dir. Neill Blomkamp - this is his first major film - see also CHAPPiE & Elysium

Reviewed by Matt Adcock (in a mixed crowd of humans and aliens in Stevenage)

ONE WORD SUMMATION: spicyprawncocktail

Attention human readers – please note some important details of how to interact with our current alien visitors.

1. When dealing with aliens, try to be polite, but firm. And always remember that a smile is cheaper than a bullet.

2. The aliens are not ‘prawns’ and it is offensive to call them such.

3. If you accidentally ingest any of the alien fuel, please report any changes to your body to authorities as soon as possible – we only want to help.

Thank you for your co-operation.

"surrender"

District 9 is a hot new sci-fi, a Peter ‘Lord of the Rings’ Jackson presentation no less. Director Neil Blomkamp (who Jackson picked to direct the ill fated ‘Halo’ movie) delivers a startlingly fresh slice of intergalactic race relations gone awry. It is 20 years you see since a massive alien spaceship parked mysteriously over Johannesburg, and since then the aliens or ‘prawns’ as we nickname them, have been housed in a slum like refugee camp called District 9 underneath.

We join pen pushing doormat Wikus Van De Merwe (Sharlto Copley) who works for Multi-National United (MNU) – a shady corporate security force - on the day he gets promoted to project manage the forceful relocation of the aliens from District 9.

"Mech me up"

It seems the camp has become a hive of scum and villainy and human / alien relations are becoming strained to breaking point. So far, so much of a sci-fi apartheid allegory but District 9 is far more then that. Whilst going about his job of serving eviction notices Wikus gets exposed to some alien fuel and begins to his horror to transform into one of the ‘prawns’.

This changes more than just his body – although there are suitably icky special effects as he undergoes a ‘Fly’ like metamorphosis. Teaming up with a prawn visitor called Christopher, who seems to have a hidden plan, can Wikus escape MNU who now want him as his DNA is key to unlocking the alien weaponry?

Speaking of which, I wonder if that alien Mech battle armour suit might come into play in a wonderful pulse pounding climatic battle?

District 9 is an excellent new addition to the sci-fi hall of fame, featuring smart, funny dialogue and packing some excellent action and special effects – this is the complete package.

"Highly recommended viewing for humans and aliens alike... "

Darkmatters final rating (out of 5)

of: ööööö (5 – original, excellent ideas backed up with stylish direction and tasty action)

Darkmatters quick reference guide:

Action 4 (I'm a sucker for Mech battle suits!)

Style 4 (has a unique look and feel all its own)

Comedy 4 (some great horror comedy elements)

Horror 4 (nasty body transformation!)

Spiritual Enlightenment 3 (respect should be intergalactic)

Darkmatters Review: Aliens in the Attic

Aliens in the Attic (PG)

Dir. John Schultz - who previously brought you When Zachary Beaver Came to Town and Like Mike

Reviewed by Matt Adcock (watched with sons - they loved it)

ONE WORD SUMMATION: aliens+fullbodycontrol=fun

Ever fancied being able to remote control another person? What about a member of your family? That's just one of the innovative ideas Aliens in the Attic brings to the big screen and it leads to the best one on one fight this year... Yes thanks to alien full body control devices that allow a person to be controlled with a PlayStation like joypad, we get a battle royale between Ritchie (annoying boyfriend character controlled by the baddie aliens) and earth's last best hope - granny or ‘Nana Rose Pearson’ controlled by the kids. I guarantee that the sight of a grandma doing flying kicks and ninja fight moves that wouldn't look out of place in a kickboxing movie or game like Tekken on the PS3 will stay with you forever. Alas that’s pretty much the only reason to check out this movie unless you’re following the career of High School Musical's Asley Tinsdale who reprises her bratty teen persona as Sharpay, sorry, Bethany and does an ok job looking cute and vacuous (which must have been a stretch!?).


"did someone say cute and vacuous?"

Overall the movie is average family friendly fun, better than this summer's G-Force but not as good as Transformers 2. The action cracks along at a pleasing pace and at a brief 86mins these little aliens don't outstay their welcome. My two sons enjoyed it more than I did so it looks like the target pre-teen audience will give this the thumbs up, adults accompanying them can just play the fun game of spotting the massive amounts of product placement…

So the fate of the earth rests on the scrawny shoulders of these kids who are a likeable enough average bunch of siblings. Austin Robert Butler is probably the best of them and looks to have some star potential and could be ready to step up as the next Owen Wilson with charisma to spare.


"We're all in this together etc..."

Aliens in the Attic is a perfectly disposable bite sized bit of nonsense, Director John ‘Like Mike’ Schultz proves again that he can churn out watchable kids b-movies in his sleep. If you’ve children or sci-fi nerds who need entertaining then this will do the job, others need not worry as there’s bigger, potentially much better alien fun on the horizon as James Cameron brings Avatar - the most expensive film ever - to the screen later this year.


Darkmatters final rating of: öööööö (6 better than it should have been)

Darkmatters quick reference guide:

Action 6 (would have been 4 but for the excellent nanny fight!)

Style 6 (the aliens aren't as cool as Gremlins)

Babes 8 (Asley Tinsdale is hot)

Comedy 7 (some fun with body control!)

Horror 4 (tame)

Spiritual Enlightenment 4 (free will - is it a myth?)

Aliens vs Predator Requiem - review

"take one iconic space monster"
"add another 'almost as iconic' space monster"

- light the fuse for an all time classic!

Aliens vs. Predator – Requiem (15)

Dir. The Brothers Strause (Greg and Colin)

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

Remember - in space, no one can hear you scream.

On Earth, everyone will hear you – it’s just a shame that you’ll probably be screaming ‘I want my money back!!’…

Learning nothing it seems from the minor hit Alien vs. Predator from 2004, except that there is an audience of people who will still pay to see these two iconic creatures – the money men at Twentieth Century Fox have given us Aliens vs. Predator – Requiem (AVP-R).

As big fan of both series of films (I liked the first AVP film) I was stoked at the thought that this just night be the ultimate stand-off between the classic shiny headed, chest bursting, jaw extending xenomorphs and the dreadlocked space hunters with a nifty line in infra-red vision and shoulder mounted laser cannons. Directed by ‘lifelong fans of both franchises’, Greg and Colin Strause, who were eager to recreate the magic of the terrifying space saga and pay homage to the hallmarks that made the originals so memorable.

Set in a modern day small U.S. town, a predator training ship carrying the hybrid ‘predalien’, hinted at in the last AVP film, crash lands leading to a very bad time for the population and an ensuing massive alien infection. A sole predator ‘cleaner’ is dispatched from the predator homeworld – he’s a badass alien exterminator tasked with saving the day before the situation gets out of hand. What’s not to love?

Um, how about just about everything?

AVP-R is a cheap looking, slap in the face of all the Alien or Predator films that have gone before. Gone is anything classy, or any scenes that will make you drop your popcorn and applaud, in fact anything much worthy of praise or merit - apart from some occasionally decent special effects. Instead we get a derisive, predictable and painfully muddled plotline, weak and entirely disposable characters – you know you’re in trouble when the most likeable is the dim blonde love interest Jesse (Kristen Hager).

"Miss Hager shows off her acting skills"  

Then there’s the supposedly heroic Dallas (yes the namesake of the Captain in the original Alien) played by Steven Pasquale – not sure if he’s any relation to Joe - an ‘off the shelf’ bad boy who specialises in shouting out a running commentary on what’s happening right in front of him like: “People are dying... we need guns!”

So how can you enjoy the slack jawed and ‘trying a bit too hard to be nasty’ thrills on offer in AVP-R? I’d advise unplugging your brain and leaving behind any love you have for the Alien or Predator films thus far - approach AVP-R with very limited expectations and they might just be met.

Having said that if seeing a ward of pregnant women being overrun by aliens, a young boy having his stomach burst our after seeing his father die the same way and actually finding yourself starting to feel sorry for the Predator that seems to have to wander around aimlessly for quite a lot of the screen time appeals to you… Step this way!

NEW DARKMATTERS RATING SYSTEM FOR 2008 (all ratings out of maximum 10):

Mind Blight / Boredom: ööööööööö (9)
- Chronic and dangerous levels, approach with caution

Comedic Value: ööööö (5)
- Laughable more like!

Endorphin Stimulation: ö (1)- flatline excitement levels...

Tasty Action: öö (2)
- couple of almost interesting fights, but most of the 'action' is badly directed and lacks punch

Arbitrary final rating: ööö (3)
- The brothers Strause should be impregnated with alien spawn...

Liable to make you:
“weep for how bigger missed opportunity this was... and how crap it is!"

DM Poster Quote:
“They really should have stayed in space ”