Darkmatters Review - Race To Witch Mountain

Race to Witch Mountain (PG)

Dir. Andy Fickman - The Game Plan etc

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

Buckle up for a hyperactive boost of alien chase action – Disney style…
Race to Witch Mountain is a pseudo remake / update of the 1970’s Escape to Witch Mountain, the new version is every bit as good and boy it looks great – with big expensive special effects running rampant. The budget people at The Mouse House have really gone for the ‘let’s hit the screen with everything we can’ formula. If you sign up for the trip to Witch Mountain you’ll get flashy flying saucers, an evil intergalactic assassin (not a million miles away from a Terminator) and two cool / cute kids with unearthly powers, oh and lots of pile-em-up car chases.



"The clockwork orange experiments - the junior years"

AnnaSophia ‘Bridge to Terabithia’ Robb and Alexander ‘The Dark Is Rising’ Ludwig are Sara and Seth, two alien youngsters who have crash-landed at Witch Mountain in the U.S. Seems that their own world is dying due to pollution (Hhmm – could there be a moral for us being not so subtly squeezed in here?). Now the chase is on for them to recover a vital piece of evidence which might be the key for them to save their own planet. But in true ET style the Government are keen to apprehend and experiment on our young alien visitors.


"Is Annasophia Robb the new Keira Knightley?"

Who can the little lost extraterrestrials turn to for help? Why – only Jack Bruno (Dwayne ‘once known as The Rock’ Johnson) a loveable rogue taxi driver and handily on the scene UFO boffin Alex Friedman (Carla ‘Watchmen’ Gugino).

The action takes place mostly back and forth between Las Vegas and the Nevada desert – the Government goons chase doggedly, some nasty gangsters try to get in on the action and the alien assassin / bounty-hunter blows up lots of stuff. Nothing makes a great deal of sense but as I said before – it sure does look good.
Unfortunately, director Andy’ The Game Plan’ Fickman manages to fumble the action scenes (of which there are lots due to the film being co-written by Mark Bomback of Die Hard 4.0 fame). That leaves little else to impress although the kids try their best and will both probably go on to better things.


"The US Government apparently wants to 'probe' this young alien - how wrong is that?"

I did find the wry section set at a Sci-fi convention appealed to my inner sci-fi nerd, there’s a great moment when two Star Wars Stormtroopers get into Bruno’s taxi, plus there’s the obligatory Disney dog cameo character that raised a smile but overall Race to Witch Mountain is a fun but forgettable family friendly action flick. And it even sets up a sequel… If you are a movie buff, enjoy graphic design or other aspects of visual communication, pursuing an online bachelor degree can prepare you for the rigors of a career in Hollywood, and maybe you can make movies less forgettable than this one!?

Arbitrary Darkmatters final rating of: öööööööö (8 -fun while it lasts but won't be remembered)
Darkmatters quick reference guide:

Action 8
Style 7
Babes 7
Comedy 7
Spiritual Enlightenment 5

Not convinced? check out this review of the film over at The Guardian - best line:

"At one stage, the aliens explain that they are able to cover vast tracts of outer-space by using wormholes as a shortcut. This made me long for my own personal wormhole, right through to the closing credits."

Darkmatters Review - The Boat That Rocked

The Boat That Rocked (15)

Dir. Richard Curtis

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

All those wishing to travel aboard the latest feel good vessel helmed by Richard ‘Love Actually’ Curtis should make their way to the nearest cinema now. The Boat That Rocked plots a romantic comedy course through the choppy waters of the late sixties when rock music was deemed unhealthy by the repressive Establishment and the British public had to tune in to ‘pirate’ stations to hear filth like The Rolling Stones.

Blessed with a stellar cast including the always excellent Philip Seymour Hoffman as uber DJ ‘The Count’, Rhys Ifans as super cool (and purple wearing) legend of the airwaves ‘Gavin’ and Bill Nighy as captain of the dubious ship Rock Radio ‘Quentin’. These loveable scallywags are ably supported by comic genius Nick ‘Hot Fuzz’ Frost as literally larger than life ‘Dave’ and Tom Wisdom as the leather trouser wearing sex god ‘Midnight Mark’.

Into this sleazy melting pot of sex, drugs and rock n roll on the ocean waves is thrown virginal youngster Carl (a nicely awkward performance from Tom Sturridge) – he sent onboard after being expelled from school by his swinging mother because one of the men on the boat might just be his father…

Arrayed against the pop loving, sea faring miscreants are the forces of law and order embodied by government minister Dormandy (a tightly wound Kenneth Branagh) and his right hand ‘hit’man who rejoices in the name of ‘Twatt’ (an effectively odious turn from Jack Davenport). Can the powers that be shut down the pirates and win the hearts and minds back of the 23million people who tune in the raucous musical banter? The resulting battle of wits is the main dramatic element of the film which is otherwise a two hour series of set pieces set to the funkiest ‘60s tunes (which music lovers may enjoy even more with their eyes shut). The soundtrack is excellent – The Kinks, The Who, Hendrix, Cream, The Beach Boys… even if you weren’t around to appreciate these at the time there will be many who can discover some cracking tracks (handily available on double disk film soundtrack CD).

As the forces of grey and boring close in on the naughty pirates, the film veers into a pseudo dramatic Titanic-esq homage, will the rogue ‘heroes’ meet a watery grave by the end credits? There is the real danger that all hands will be lost as Curtis ramps up the schmaltz and goes for the sentiment jugular but if you’re able to just appreciate this boat for the mildly funny moments it delivers you’ll go home smiling.

Arbitrary Darkmatters final rating of: ööööööö (7 - funky but schmaltzy)

Darkmatters quick reference guide:

Action 5
Style 7
Babes 7
Comedy 7
Spiritual Enlightenment 4

Not convinced? check out this review of the film over at PictureNose or DEN OF GEEK - best line:

"Remember the 1960s? No? What do you mean you weren't born? What do you mean you were a toddler? Oh, well, Richard Curtis' latest film might still be for you, if you don't mind gulping down a boatload of second-hand nostalgia with your comedy film experience."

If you liked The Boat That Rocked you migh want to check out:

The RunAways

"Dakota Fanning rocks out in The RunAways"

Emily Browning - Babetastic in Sucker Punch

"Emily on release in the UK April '09 - Uninvited"

Emily Browning is a fast rising actress who wowed audiences is Lemony Snicket a couple of years ago... http://darkmatt.blogspot.com/2004/12/emily-browning-and-co-stars.html

This month she'll be back on the big screen in The Uninvited which looks okay - better news is you can see her in the absolutely babelicious cast of Sucker Punch... see them here

"Emily Browning is going to be BIG"

Sucker Punch is Zack Snyder's follow up to the excellent Watchmen - raising pulses in 2011.

Here's miss Browning looking very very good:


"cute"


"Yep - she's a hottie"

"next to be seen in what's being called 'Alice in Wonderland' with machine guns!?"

"check the blonde look"

"brings the pain"

"girls in underware - that's pants!?"

Check out Darkmatter top ten film babes 2008 ...

Red Faction Guerrilla- incoming destruction on PS3

"viva la RED FACTION... guerrilla"

Check out the cool trailer for what looks like being one of the most destructive PS3 games to hit this year (ETA 9 June):


"somebody tell the G20"


Have been invited to the closed Beta for this and am looking forward immensely to 'going red'...

Blurb goes: "Set 50 years after the climactic events of the original Red Faction, this third-person open-world action-shooter returns to Mars and once again re-defines the limits of destruction-based game-play."

What with this and the excellent looking Battlefield Bad Company 2 also promising 'more destruction', it sure looks like '09 will be a year when things will go 'boom' - then crumble realistically to the ground... nice one!

Darkmatters review - Knowing

Knowing (15)

Dir. Alex Proyas 'previously of The Crow, Dark City and I Robot'

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

“Knowing me, knowing you, ah ha!!” sorry, the wife’s just been hitting the Singstar Abba on the PS3 – whilst I got to witness Knowing and report back on its merits.

What would you do if you had a list of every major disaster which had occurred for the last 50 years – and it included some that hadn’t happened yet, one of which might just be the end of the entire world? That’s the premise for Alex Proyas’ stylish apocalyptic sci-fi epic Knowing which bites off a hard to digest slice of disturbing ‘fate or determinism’ theological debate.

Nicolas Cage (looking more like a startled goat with every film he makes) is an unlikely astrophysics professor whose son Caleb (rising child star Chandler ‘The Curious Case of Benjamin Button’ Canterbury) is the recipient of the disaster tracking page of numbers.

Things get progressively more freaky as the predicted disasters occur in a flurry of budget trashing large scale set pieces that include a truly horrific subway train crash. Knowing keeps the audience guessing by setting up a string of key questions such as ‘What happened to the odd looking little girl who wrote the doomsday number list itself as part of a school time capsule project?’, ‘Why didn’t she fill in a National Lottery grid or two and live happily ever after?’ or ‘who are those weird, darkly clad mystery men who start following young Caleb around?’ There are lots of ideas here, mix and matching influences from numerous sci-fi classics and the result has polarised critics but for me Knowing delivered a decent slice of nail biting hokum.

I freely confess to being a big fan of Alex ‘The Crow and Dark City’ Proyas, he is a visionary director whose last movie I Robot managed to turn the Asimov’s high brow robo-future nightmare into a decent action flick for Will Smith. Here, even saddled with a rank performance from Cage, there is much to appreciate - not least the impressively bleakly hopeful spiritual elements that elevate this way beyond the like of weaker end of days efforts such as The Happening.

Biblical in its scope and uncompromising in the scenes of devastation Knowing isn’t really light entertainment. But, if you’re looking for something to provoke debate and make you wonder again about our human nature and future destiny you ‘know’ what to choose.

Arbitrary Darkmatters final rating of: öööööööö (8 -Not Knowingly Underwhelmed)

Darkmatters quick reference guide:

Action 8
Style 8
Babes 6
Comedy 6
Spiritual Enlightenment 9

Not convinced? check out this review of the film over at FANGORIA - best line:

"And the simple fact that it has more on its mind than the usual empty megamovie spectacle is a plus, even if that mind is severely addled. KNOWING is a lot of things—too many things—but dull isn’t one of them.."

Orange Films are 'go' Darkmatters loves em!!

"feel the glamour... enjoy the trailers!"

Get over to Orange Film studios - click here

Darkmatters review - Lesbian Vampire Killers

Lesbian Vampire Killers (15)

Dir. Phil Claydon

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

- can't be bothered to read the whole review? Here's the one line or ' Twitter' version:

"nice name, fun idea, weak film... Horne and Corden can and should do better. Don't waste your time"

Sucking the will to live from the audiences across the land come the‘new comedy sensation double act’ of Mathew Horne and James Corden also known as lads from Gavin and Stacey.

These are two really funny blokes (just check their BBC3 TV comedy show – my pick is their YPC sketch which has funky Christian songsters singing tunes like ‘Father Please Touch Me Tonight’) - and heaven knows I've been to enough of those!?

But Lesbian Vampire Killers is just a bawdy,depressingly unfunny Brit comedy effort that fails to satisfy on every level.This is a film obviously aimed at those out there who have to spell out the words in The Sun and think that FHM is a bit ‘high brow’ –basically it’s Nuts Magazine the movie. Crass, sexist and dubious at every turn, if you sign up to see this 87 minutes of knuckle scraping soft-core twaddle you’ll get to spend the time in the company of Fletch (Corden) and Jimmy (Horne) who take an ill advise hiking trip to deepest,darkest Norfolk. Jimmy is chronically unlucky in love and is looking toget over being dumped for the seventh time by his flighty girlfriend Judy(Lucy Gaskell). Fletch on the other hand is a walking hard-on, lager inhis veins and puerile banter only ever a heartbeat away from his lips.

But just shouting ‘get in’ or ‘phowaar look at that’ can’t make youlike or care about characters who really don’t have anything to offer in terms of emotional empathy.You could call this a homage to the saucier 1970s Hammer-horror exploitations flicks that were all the rage for a while but for the factthat Lesbian Vampire Killers isn’t remotely scary or even very saucy.The plot is limited to the two dim main characters straying into the clutches of centuries old evil ‘queen of the vampires’ Camilla – and finding that they might just be the ones referred to in an ancient prophecy. Could these two losers be the foretold heroes to end the evil curse that turns all the womenfolk of Cragwich into blood craving girl fancying creatures of the night upon their 18th birthday? Take a wild guess...It’s perhaps a little unfair to judge this low budget and witless dross to the genius of similar horror comedies such as Shaun of the Dead but I feel that readers need to be warned because the trailer gives the impression that there might be something worth seeing here.

The scariest thing is that the ending sets up a possible sequel – be afraid - although "Big Gay Werewolf Killers" has a certainly disturbing ring to it...

Arbitrary Darkmatters final rating of: öööö (4 - drunken lads only need apply)

Darkmatters quick reference guide:
Action 6
Style 5
Babes 7
Comedy 5
Spiritual Enlightenment -2

Not convinced? check out this review of the film over at The Telegraph

their best line:

"Embracing the film’s retro-sleaze quotient wholeheartedly, Corden has his beer-swilling moments in the first half, before he’s consigned to a fate worse than death – digging around endlessly in badly-lit graves with Paul McGann."

Orange 'vision' comes to Darkmatters

ORANGE VISION...

Want to see the new Orange infomercial mini film?

Yeah, me too and so here it is - enjoy (and be sure to come back on the 27th March when new exclusive content will be revealed!?):

Have a click over the excellent - ORANGE FILM SUDIOS too and read why Mr Dresden is so excited:

www.orange.co.uk/orangefilmstudios

Darkmatters review - Bronson

Bronson (18)

Dir. Nicolas Winding Refn ‘The Pusher trilogy’

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

We go now live to HMP Wakefield, where Charles ‘Britain’s most notorious prisoner’ Bronson himself has recorded a message for those thinking of viewing this biopic of his life: "I'm proud of this film, because if I drop dead tonight, then I live on. I make no bones about it, I really was... a horrible, violent, nasty man. I'm not proud of it, but I'm not ashamed of it either... See you at the Oscars."

Bronson tells the unhappy tale of Charles Bronson (born Michael Gordon Peterson), who is potentially Luton’s most famous prodigal son, still residing at Her Majesty’s pleasure. Director Refn unleashes this ferocious, crunchingly violent drama like a double barrel shotgun blast to the face. Tom Hardy is amazing in the lead performance – capturing the crackling energy of the man who was locked away in 1974 aged only 21, for an armed robbery which saw him get away with the sum total of just £26.18. Once on the inside however it seems that Bronson found his vocation for violent misconduct, if you could get a City & Guilds in ‘wounding with intent’, he’d have bagged his NVQ in no time. The original seven year sentence was repeatedly extended for crimes committed in prison which included hostage-taking, staging rooftop protests and causing untold violent chaos.

The big screen depiction of ‘the man, the myth, the celebrity’, that Bronson has come to be known as largely thanks to the tabloid press, injects some pleasing Clockwork Orange references and a compelling docu-drama style. Bronson is portrayed here as a misunderstood man who has deep principles, but also severe sociopathic tendencies. One minute he’s a laughing and joking showman, the next he fixes the audience with a dead eyed stare of utter menace…

As prison dramas go Bronson is definitely a cut above the average fare, and whilst many will get off on the violent scenes, there is much here to ponder. Is the prison system actually to blame for exacerbating his negative behaviour? Could it be that being institutionalised and then confined to solitary incarceration for the majority of his ‘record breaking’ sentence might have actually given him cause for some additional violent tendencies?

The release of this film is timely given that Bronson’s latest parole hearing was scheduled to take place last week. He might have missed the Oscars this year but there’s no way of knowing what sort of spectacle he could cause there next year if he does get released!

Arbitrary Darkmatters final rating of: öööööööö (8 - Strong stuff)

Darkmatters quick reference guide:

Action 7,

Style 8,

Babes 6,

Comedy 7,

Spiritual Enlightenment 6

check out this good review of the film over at TWITCH

they came up with the ultimate sign off line:

"Now if only they can get the real Charlie Bronson to do a commentary track on the DVD"

Darkmatters review - Watchmen

Watchmen (18)

Dir. Zack Snyder ‘300, Dawn of the Dead’

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

Rorschach's Journal: March 8th 2009: I find myself in the future – somehow a film has been made depicting the incredible events that occurred back in 1985 when this city was afraid of me. It had reason to, I had seen its true face. The streets were extended gutters and the gutters were full of blood. The accumulated filth of all their sex and murder foamed up about their waists and all the whores and politicians looked up and shouted 'Save us!'

And I whispered

'no'.




Welcome to the end of the Superhero movie as we know it. Zack ‘300’ Snyder has brought the once deemed ‘un-filmable’ landmark graphic novel by Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons to the big screen and nothing will ever be quite the same.

Watchmen is a nuclear powered behemoth of thought provoking superhero action, breathtaking visual flair and gut churning violence. I was prepared for bitter disappointment because the original comic boasts such a deep vein of rich intermingled sub plots, fantastical imagery and mind bending intellectual concepts – how could it be possibly be effectively captured in just under three hours of screen time? But to my delight and amazement Watchmen delivers on the big screen better than I dared hope. The sheer dedication and flawless attention to the source material is admirable, the vivid way that the original pages have literally ‘come to life’ in jaw dropping high resolution makes this a bona fide visual masterpiece.

For those seeking wham bang no brain action, this isn’t going to be for you because whilst there are some excellent action scenes, this is film that requires brainpower for maximum appreciation. Watchmen is a truly adult themed thriller, set in an alternative 1985 where Richard Nixon has won a third term as president and the Cold War has taken the world to brink of nuclear Armageddon.

After an excellent scene setting credit sequence we witness the murder of The Comedian (Jeffrey Dean Morgan), a mercenary / hero with dubious morals and a taste for carnage. His death sets one time colleague Rorschach, a masked vigilante (superb turn from Jackie Earle Haley) on the trial of whoever might be looking to execute masked heroes.
Writer Alan Moore said: "I suppose I was just thinking, 'That'd be a good way to start a comic book: have a famous super-hero found dead.' As the mystery unravelled, we would be led deeper and deeper into the real heart of this super-hero's world, and show a reality that was very different to the general public image of the super-hero."

The complex tale includes back story elements of the other ‘Watchmen’ including the only ‘actual’ superhero Dr. Manhattan (Billy Crudup), a naked, glowing blue skinned powerful being created in a science-lab accident. Manhattan is a walking talking weapon of mass destruction – used by Nixon to win the Vietnam War almost single handedly, but whose humanity seems to be retreating. Then there’s Nite Owl (Patrick Wilson) once Rorschach’s partner, a tech genius who sports a Batman like array of gadgets and wears an owl caped outfit.
Ozymandias (Matthew Goode) on the other hand is Earth's smartest man, who also boosts amazing reflexes and Silk Spectre II (Malin ’27 Dresses’ Akerman) who wears a mean skimpy latex outfit.



You’ll need to pay attention to keep up with the twisting plot elements as the storyline delights in pulling the rug from under the viewer. Don’t go expecting a simple spoon fed structure or a traditional blockbuster ending – we’re in serious end of the world territory here.

Some of the original graphic novel has obviously had to be cut – there will be a soon to be released DVD animated companion of the Tales of the Black Freighter pirate story within the story sub fiction. And we can only hope that there will be additional scenes restored for the rumoured Director’s cut Blu-Ray too.

Then there’s also a Watchmen downloadable PSN game (which from the demo I’ve played allows you to beat the living daylights out of convicts as either Nite Owl or Rorschach) and some tasty free Watchmen items in Home to nab. But most importantly to get the most from the movie, I can only really recommend that you swot up on the original graphic novel. It is the must read authoritative Old Testament without which we might never have had The Dark Knight’s New Testament…

Highly recommended, an intelligent choice for those who can handle extreme violence, superhero sex and challenging thinking. Repeated viewing essential.




Arbitrary Darkmatters final rating of: ööööööööö (9 - Excellent)

Darkmatters quick reference guide: Action 9, Style 9, Babes 8, Comedy 7, Spiritual Enlightenment 8

Darkmatters Film Review - Franklyn

Franklyn (15)

Dir. Gerald McMorrow

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

Welcome to ‘Meanwhile City’ a dark place where reality hasn't got a prayer… This is a tasty, intelligent, strange and disturbing noir thriller that messes with you head and works a contrived build up to one climactic scene where the path of single bullet will decide the fate of four lost souls.
Brit director McMorrow does a decent job with some weird and wonderful characters intermingling their stories, none more cool than masked assassin Jonathan Preest (Ryan Philip) who looks like a spookier Rorschach…
Lots of the fun can be had trying to work out how the freaky faith obsessed sprawling gothic steampunk megacity called ‘Meanwhile’ fits in with our own existence in present-day London. Or why sexy but seriously unhinged student Amelia (Eva Green) is filming herself in various suicide bids? Also there’s the riddle of how and why Esser’s (Bernard Hill) son disappeared, is he dead, is someone else, has he gone mad? And then there’s the cleaner… WTF?? That cleaner had my friend John and I scratching our heads long after the credits had rolled and most of the other plot strands had be resolved.
Anyway, the main storyline sees jilted young Milo (Sam Riley) who is struggling to get his act back together whilst also obsessing about Sally (Eva Green) – his childhood crush... His best man is worried about him, as is his mental mother.
There are some genius comedy moments mixed in with the gloomy main plotlines. My pick of the bunch is when Preest is asked his religion, “What’s yours?” he replies only to be told: "I'm a Seventh-Day Manicurist…" genius!
Franklyn is flawed but it channels enough good ideas from other movies, some deft nods of the head to classic sci-fi movies and still brings plenty of new creative stuff to the table to make it worth checking out.
You’ll need to think about it though and preferably have decent IQ to really enjoy it. As Sally tells Milo at one point: “life's too much of an adventure as it is, without making anything else up.” Doesn’t mean we can’t enjoy made up nonsense like this…

Arbitrary Darkmatters final rating of: öööööööö (8 - Good stuff)

Darkmatters quick reference guide: Action 7, Style 8, Babes 7, Comedy 7, Spiritual Enlightenment 8

"Eva Green - crazy but fit!"

Darkmatters Review - Gran Torino

Gran Torino (15)

Dir. Clint Eastwood 'Million Dollar Baby, Mystic River'

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

Do you feel lucky? Huh? Go ahead…make my day. Nobody does iconic banter like Clint Eastwood and now here he is at almost eighty still cracking quotable lines like “Ever notice how you come across somebody once in a while you shouldn't have f**ked with? That's me.”
Gran Torino sees Eastwood direct himself in the role of Walt Kowalski, an all American antihero (at heart) battling gangs, immigrants and the well meaning attentions from his local priest. Kowalski is a bitter widower carrying masses of guilt from his time in the Korean War, he can’t relate to his spoilt grown up children and can’t stand the way that his formerly white neighbourhood is being taken over by ‘gooks’.
This is a guy who is wound so tightly that you just know that he will snap before the end credits – what isn’t apparent is the form his unleashing of frustration will take. When Walt catches his new neighbour Thao (a rough and ready turn from the young Bee Vang) attempting to steal his beloved '72 Gran Torino, things take an unexpected turn and neither of their lives will be the same.
Acting wise Clint takes centre stage and burns the screen with his formidable presence, the supporting cast do their best including a memorable turn from Christopher Carley as the rookie priest who is seeking to help him work through his issues. As well as the deeper life questions, there are laugh out loud moments aplenty when John Carroll Lynch pops up as the local barber with whom Walt has a monthly hair cut / mutual abuse session.
You probably won’t see a less politically correct movie this year, every other line is going to be offensive to someone – but Kowalski is more than just Alf Garnett with a rifle. Gran Turino has real heart and emotional depth, packing a compelling mix of violence, comedy and heart breaking drama.
The tension builds well up to a climactic showdown – where the former Dirty Harry takes on the gang that is wrecking the lives of Thao’s family and threatening to derail his future. As a director and actor Eastwood takes us on a powerful journey that stays just the right side of schmaltz. If he makes no more movies after this he’ll have signed off in fine style.

Arbitrary Darkmatters final rating of: ööööööööö (9 - Excellent)

Darkmatters quick reference guide: Action 8, Style 8, Babes 6, Comedy 7, Spiritual Enlightenment 8

Quote: "I'll blow a hole in your face then go inside and sleep like a baby. "

The Killers destroy the O2

"playing to the London fans..."

The Killers - live at the O2 Feb 24th 2009

Reaction by Matt Adcock

As a big Killers fan I've seen them live several times and they always rock but the latest O2 show was again something special...

Along with the amazing 'blow the roof off' Spaceman, Mr Brightside, When You Were Young and All These Things That I've Done etc the playlist included many of my personal favs including: Sweet Talk, Dustland Fairytale, This is Your Life, This River is Wild...


"UFOs spotted over the Killers whilst on stage..."

Genius stuff... Highly recommended!

Previous Darkmatters posts on The Killers

http://darkmatt.blogspot.com/2008/10/are-we-human-or-are-we-dancer.html

http://darkmatt.blogspot.com/2006/09/matt-gets-killers-tickets-wife-very.html

http://darkmatt.blogspot.com/2006/09/he-doesnt-look-thing-like-jesus.html

Darkmatters Film Review - Push

Push (12a)

Dir. Paul McGuigan ‘Lucky Number Slevin, Gangster No.1’

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

I have seen the future; it involves telekinetic powers, stylish visuals and a desperate struggle between good and evil but doesn’t it always? This time however we’re deep in neon throbbing Hong Kong in the company of a 13-year-old ‘Watcher’ Cassie (Dakota ‘Man on Fire’ Fanning) who draws pictures of what is yet to happen. Cassie meets up with ‘Mover’ Nick (Chris ‘Street Kings’ Evans) who can move things with his mind. Together they look to thwart a dastardly scheme by global hero abducting organisation known as ‘Division’ headed by baddie ‘Pusher’ Henry Carver (Djimon Hounsou) who can push suggestions into people’s heads.
Also in the mix is another pusher named Kira – she is the only hero to have survived the Division’s insidious programme to make an army of super powered telepaths and is now on the run.
Push is a superhero thriller that will please fans of TV’s ‘Heroes’ – it plays out with a smart plot, cool action scenes and some lush visuals. Director McGuigan knows how to keep you on the edge of your seat, my son Luke admitted to being seriously impressed (and as he’s nearly a teenager it takes quite a lot to elicit that kind of response nowadays).
The mix of super-humans includes freaky Chinese guys who can kill with their screams – called ‘Bleeders’, people who can create illusions called ‘Shifters’ and bloodhound like ‘Sniffers’ who can track people by the scent they leave on objects. There’s also ‘Stitchers’ who can heal and ‘Wipers’ who can remove memories, it all makes for a vibrant and highly entertaining package. Push also has surprising depth in that it raises some deep questions about predestination, free will and the repercussions of our actions. As Carver tells Cassie at one point: “I don't know why you're even trying. You already know the ending to this story,” superhero films generally follow a tried and tested formula (even the amazing Dark Knight which has now grossed over $1million world-wide).
But Push is a breath of fresh air – encompassed by Cassie’s sassy response of: “We're going to change it.”

I’d recommend this to people who found Twilight too girly or have been cheesed off by mediocre sci-fi efforts like last year’s Jumper, in a gloomy economic downturn, Push is just the sort of exciting escapist nonsense required.

Arbitrary Darkmatters final rating of: ööööööö (7 - Good)

Darkmatters quick reference guide: Action 8, Style 8, Babes 8, Comedy 6, Spiritual Enlightenment 6

Quote: "I don't have to be a Watcher to see where this is going."

Darkmatters Film Review - Slumdog Millionaire (it is written)

Slumdog Millionaire (15)

Director: Danny Boyle (Sunshine, Trainspotting)

Starring: Dev Patel, Irrfan Khan, Madhur Mittal, Freida Pinto, Anil Kapoor

Is destiny written?

You join us here tonight on the brink of history being made…
The lights go down and a hushed audience are on the edge of their seats…
Before them an 18-year-old Mumbai slum kid named Jamal (Dev ‘Skins’ Patel) is about to face the winning question on 'Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?'…
But things don’t always run according to plan, and before you can say ‘police brutality’ Jamal is arrested and tortured – accused of cheating. We get a ringside seat not only at the interrogation but also to a series of fascinating, exciting, heartbreaking flashbacks whereby Jamal explains how he came to know the answers.
This is could have been a schmaltz-fest of sob worth proportions charting the story of a poor, uneducated Indian teenage slumdog beating the odds, winning big and maybe even getting the girl in the process… Rather, I’m delighted to say that in the hands of Danny ‘Sunshine’ Boyle Slumdog Millionaire sparkles, crackles and captivates with a soul pleasing vibrancy. There is enough grit injected to make this a credible and altogether excellent film, worthy of all the high praise that is being directed at it.
The cast are top, Older brother Salim (Madhur Mittal) and absolute stunner love interest Latika (Freida Pinto) are both superb, as is the slimy and detestable host of the game show Prem Kumer (Anil Kapoor).
The interplay between Jamal and Prem is compulsive e.g. as the tension builds to the climax Prem asks him: “So are you ready for the final question for 20 million rupees?”
Jamal replies : “No, but maybe its written, no?”
Just great stuff…
Slumdog looks great and cracks along with a fast pace. You’ll laugh, you’ll smile, you’ll winch and maybe even bite your nails. From the moment you witness brave young Jamal leaping into a pile of crap in order to meet his hero film star, you’ll know that this is something a bit special that exceeds whatever preconceptions you might have.

So, for the win - is Slumdog Millionaire:

A: Excellent

B: Excellent

C: Excellent

Or D: Excellent…

Arbitrary Darkmatters final rating of: ööööööööö (9 - Superb)

Darkmatters quick reference guide: Action 7, Style 8, Babes 8, Comedy 7, Spiritual Enlightenment 8

Darkmatters Film Review - Cool Runnings 2 – Brits ‘N’ Bobs

Cool Runnings 2 – Brits ‘N’ Bobs (unclassified)

Director: some mad English guys (Jason Absalom and Andy Kent)

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

“Who will survive – and what will be left of them?”

If you’ve seen the fun Disney film Cool Runnings then you’ll know what the basic premise is for this ‘docu-sequel’ which makes excellent use of its near zero budget.

Cool Runnings 2, also known as ‘release the beast’ tells the tale of two fairly ordinary chaps who for reasons known only to themselves (and perhaps the voices in their heads) decide to embark on a ‘crash’ course in bobsleighing and then enter the British Bobsleigh Championships 2007. So if watching people zooming along icy tracks rings your bells – this just might be your film of the year.

But if you don’t like Bobsleighing then you’ll be able to relate with heroic driver Jason Absalom when he says “I don’t know when I’ve experienced this much pain…” after a rough time on the practice runs where he manages to demonstrate admirably that perhaps rocketing down an ice chute in hollowed out toboggan is a not necessarily as easy as it looks on TV…

Even as someone who has never had more than a passing curiosity in anything Winter Olympic I found myself getting drawn in and actually feeling a little tense by the time of the climactic showdown. The genuinely amusing Fast Show and Little Britain homage skits throughout help break up the footage of men in lycra going stupidly fast down a tube.

There is a pumping soundtrack featuring Leftfield, Chemical Brothers and Faithless over the snowy proceedings which helps keep the pace going.

And as the horrific tale of carnage, brutality and courage unfolds, in the glare of the cameras you’ll feel every bump, jolt and friction burn.

As Jason says "I'd always been pretty mesmerised by Bobsleigh ever since I was a small child, considering it by far the coolest event of the Winter Olympics. However, I'd also always viewed it as completely inaccessible to all but professional athletes and the military. Then we discovered Icerush, so off we went! It was an awesome experience and I'm very glad I did it. Live out your "Cool Runnings" fantasy with Icerush!

God, I miss the Kreisel. That was great fun - WEEEEEEeeeeeee!"

Sure this at heart a glorified home video but it does a decent job of capturing the spirit of this adventure… I’ll leave you with words from the original film: “Our Father, who art in Calgary, Bobsled be thy name. Thy kingdom come, gold medals won, on Earth as it is in Turn Seven. With Liberty and Justice for Jamaica and Haile Selassie. Amen.”


Arbitrary Darkmatters final rating of: öööööö (6 - Good Effort)

Darkmatters quick reference guide: Action 6, Style 6, Babes 3, Comedy 6, Spiritual Enlightenment 3

+ UNLEASH THE BEAST

Discover a great degree at degree in accounting

Darkmatters Game Review - KiIllzone 2

Ladies and Gentlemen.



It's almost here...



KILLZONE 2 - the potential shooter game of the year



Prepare to see the PS3 rock hard - read my review




"The inlaws started to bring their guns when visiting..."



BUY IT HERE



Download the free demo from the Playstation store...



Look for me when the multiplayer servers go live (cleric20).

Darkmatters Film Review - Friday the 13th

Friday the 13th (18)

Dir. Marcus Nispel 'Pathfinder, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre'

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

You don’t have to be superstitious to know that it probably isn’t a good idea to go camping on Friday the 13th near the supposed site of a mass murder. Especially when the deranged killer was never found…
But here we have not just one but two groups of good looking teens who find out to their cost that Camp Crystal Lake is not a fun, safe or long term place to stay.
Director Marcus ‘Pathfinder’ Nispel treats his re-imagining of this definitive tacky ‘80s slasher movie with more love than his overly nasty and generally not as good update of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Seems he’s listened to the feedback of horror loving geeks and has gone overboard to please them here. Friday the 13th 2009 might not be clever and it won’t win any acting accolades (unless they bring in an Oscar for ‘best topless death scene’) but it is choc full of jump moments, ‘ooh that’s got to hurt’ kills and above average production values.
Hockey-mask wearing psychopath Jason Vorhees (Derek Mears) is back on his mission to rid the world of anyone even remotely resembling the young camp counsellors who were busy fornicating while he drowned in the lake. He’s still wielding a sharp machete and packing an unquenchable blood lust, so it’s only going to end in tears for young friends Whitney (Amanda Righetti), Mike (Nick Mennell), Richie (Ben Feldman), Amanda (America Olivio), and Wade (Jonathan Sadowski). In fact they meet various sticky ends before the opening credits have even finished rolling. After this frantic and nail biting start, the film takes it slower when a few weeks later a second bunch of thrill seeking teens arrive to party at the invitation of hateable rich boy Trent (Travis Van Winkle). Will any of Jenna (Danielle Panabaker), Bree (Julianna Guill), Chewie (Aaron Yoo), Chelsea (Willa Ford), Lawrence (Arlen Escarpta), and Nolan (Ryan Hansen) survive? And what about concerned brother / rent a loaner Clay (Jared Padalecki) who is trying to find his missing sister? Don’t hold your breath because Jason has been given licence to go kill crazy – putting to shame rival horror icons such as Michael ‘Halloween’ Myers’ efforts and setting the benchmark for the mooted Nightmare on Elmstreet remake.
The crowd who I saw this with were whooping and yelling as the tension ramped up – Friday the 13th certainly delivers on the cheap thrills. If offended by nudity, bloodshed or teenagers making stupid decisions under pressure, this isn’t going to be the film for you. If however you’re looking for an effective horror shocker, there’s some guy in a hockey mask waiting for you at the cinema.

"looking good won't save you..."

Arbitrary Darkmatters final rating of: ööööööö (7 - Better than expected)

Darkmatters quick reference guide: Action 8, Style 7, Babes 9, Comedy 7, Spiritual Enlightenment 3

+ Slick and sick in equal measure, gratuitous and over the top... exactly what horror fans want basically!?

Intro line: Pamela Voorhees: Did you know a young boy drowned here? His name was Jason, he was my son. And today, is his birthday...

Black Sheep Reviews - highly recommended reading

If you're a movie fan and looking for more than just reviews and occasional ramblings of the Darkmatter variety then I'd urge you to have a look at the rather wonderful 'Black Sheep Reviews' site...

Of course we live in hope that Tom Wade may yet re-enter the reviewing fray one day, but until then it's nice to see another quality writer stepping up to the plate.

Other top film review sites I often read are:

FILMSTALKER

Dorkgasm

and

Starving Dog

We love you all!

Darkmatters Film Review - BOLT

Bolt (PG)

Dir. Byron Howard and Chris Williams

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

How awesome is your dog?
Bolt (voiced by John Travolta) is a pretty awesome mutt by anyone’s standards – the brave and invincible, laser eyed star of his own TV show. Bolt might look cute but he’s all hero, willing to fight any enemy, risk any danger and face any peril to save his owner Penny (voiced by Miley ‘Disney tweenie singing sensation’ Cyrus).
This new 3D CGI animated adventure is the first release by Disney Animation Studios since they nabbed John ‘Toy Story’ Lasseter from Pixar. It certainly starts strongly with an impressive extended action sequence where Bolt battles the forces of the evil Dr Calico (a nicely sinister Malcolm McDowell). Trouble starts however when Bolt finds his way off the TV set which has been his life – the poor little guy really thinks he has superpowers because the TV producers keep him away from the real world. But believing that Penny has been kidnapped Bolt suddenly finds himself completely unprepared for realities such as not being able to leap from moving trains or head butt oncoming vehicles without taking so much as a scratch.
Facing up to the fact that he's just a normal dog is painful but he teams up with a streetwise alley cat named Mittens (Susie Essman) and a scene stealing hamster named Rhino (Mark Walton). This being Disney we are force fed the obligatory moralising sentiment that anyone can be hero even if they don’t have superpowers. And true to form young Bolt and his pals overcome a series of comical adversity in order to save Penny and find happiness. There are many fun minor characters thrown into the fairly predictable story – my pick of the bunch being a group of wise guy pigeons who try to pitch their plot ideas for a Bolt episode to him en route.
First time directing team Howard and Williams do a good enough job but opt to play it safe where a ‘true’ Pixar film might have taken more risks. It all looks sparkly and the 3D effects work well. There are some smart lines and enough pratfalls to keep the youngsters entertained even if adults might find it a bit tame overall.
My son James (8) said: “I thought that it was a great film, the action scenes at the beginning were brilliant even though it got a bit slow in parts. My favourite character was Bolt the super dog, I hope they make a Bolt 2. I’d give this 4 out of 5.”

Thanks son - I'm gonna give it an Arbitrary Darkmatters final rating of: öööööö (6 - Decent)

Darkmatters quick reference guide: Action 7, Style 7, Babes 4, Comedy 7, Spiritual Enlightenment 6

+ Is it a bird, is it a plane? No... it's dog!?

Best lines: Bolt: "Stay back! If I stare at the lock really hard, it'll burst into flames and melt."Mittens: "Now I'm concerned on a number of levels."

Darkmatters Film Review - Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist

Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist (12a)

Dir. Peter Sollett (Raising Victor Vargas)

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

Listen up hipsters the "movement" has gone mainstream.

Your clique has been blown open by Peter Sollett in Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist which shines the full glare of Hollywood on the 'oh-so-cool' culture of Manhattan's indie music kids. And for old timers like me it is a refreshing info burst of cool that wraps a charming love story around a wafer thin plot about obscure bands and wannabe rockers.Michael ' Juno and Superbad' Cera is Nick, the only straight member of gay indie band rejoicing in the name 'The Jerk Offs'. He's still smarting from being dumped by his dream woman Tris (Alexis 'Havoc' Dziena) when his well meaning band mates attempt to set him up with the super hip and generally lovely Norah (Kat 'Charlie Bartlett' Dennings). One thing conveniently leads to another and the night becomes a romantic odyssey of will they won't they get together as the newbie potential couple hunt down their favourite underground band 'Fluffy' who are doing a secret gig somewhere in town. Comic relief is provided by Nick's band mates Thom (Aaron Yoo), Dev (Rafi Gavron) and Lothario (Jonathan B. Wright) whose attempt to give Norah's drunken party girl pal Caroline a ride home only for her to think she's being kidnapped and go AWOL. Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist could have been a vacuous waste of time and effort but he two leads have good chemistry, the supporting cast do their job well and the depiction of the musical subculture of kids who are only interested in knowing about the next cool band feels authentic. It also makes up for the fairly predictable plot by having some zinging dialogue - my pick being when the befuddled Caroline happens upon a religious show, phones Norah and says "I found Jesus!" Norah replies "what?" and Caroline continues "Jesus! He's much taller in person..."

So can real love be found by a compatibility forged in the heat of mix CDs and late night hangouts?



Take a ride with Nick and Norah - it's a fun way to find out!

Arbitrary Darkmatters final rating: öööööööö (8 - Very Good)

Darkmatters quick reference guide: Action 7, Style 8, Babes 8, Comedy 7, Spiritual Enlightenment 6

+ Quirky enough and cool too - charming and fun, a strong look at youth culture...

Best line: "You're two penises short of a Shania Twain reimagination band!"

Where did Kat Dennings get to in my 'top ten movie babes of '08'?
Find out here: http://darkmatt.blogspot.com/2009/01/top-movie-babes-2008.html

Top movie babes 2008

"Annasophia Robb"

"Amber Heard...mmmmm"

The list is up - hosted at the great and wonderful FILMSTALKER...

Check it for your self by clicking here: http://www.filmstalker.co.uk/archives/2009/01/stalkers_top_ten_2008_matt_adc.html

Here are some of the upcoming talent to keep an eye on:

"Miss AnnaSophia Robb... looking good in bikini for new film 'SoulSurfer'"

"Dakota Fanning before her Twilight 'red eyes' period"

"Elle Fanning also looking good!"

"unknown redhead with filmstar looks!"

Other babe links:

Leighton Meester

Keira Knightley

Film Review - Valkyrie

Valkyrie (12a)

Dir. Bryan Singer (Superman Returns, Xmen and Usual Suspects)

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

Achtung!! We have new intelligence about a rare group of ‘honourable’ Nazi Soldiers who attempted to save Europe from total destruction by assassinating Adolf Hitler. These brave souls risked everything to try and cut the evil heart from the SS war machine and show the world that not all Germans signed up to Hitler’s detestable ideology.
Bryan ‘The Usual Suspects’ Singer directs a stellar cast which works to honour the memory of those who took a stand for what was right even if it cost them everything. Because let’s face it, it’s not like we don’t know that this is one mission that never quite worked out how they had planned.
So we have Tom Cruise Colonel Claus von Stauffenberg, a valiant commander who realised that he could not serve both the best interests of Germany and his moustachioed Fuhrer – it had to be one or the other. He is recruited by the plot to take out Hitler by General Friedrich Olbricht (a convincingly twitchy and nervous Bill Nighy) and Major-General Henning von Tresckow (an overly smug Kenneth Branagh who struggles to keep his loviness in check). After losing a hand, an eye and what was left of his allegiance to Fuhrer in an allied attack, Stauffenberg signs up and commits what’s left of his body to the cause with vigour. Spouting superb lines such as “I am involved in high treason with all means available to me. Can I count you in?” Cruise is great value in the main role – I was won over quickly despite his accent fluctuations, he just really looks the part in his shiny Nazi boots and black eye-patch.
Valkyrie works better than many big budget Hollywood remaking of historic moment films *cough ‘Pearl Harbour’ cough*… Singer is a great director and he manages to imbibe real emotion despite the heavy weight Brit cast which contains Terrence Stamp, Eddie Izzard, and Tom Wilkinson all madly trying to out act each other.
There is palpable tension which mounts as the traitors put their audacious plan into operation. What they tried to do would have made such as massive difference and saved millions of lives that you can’t help but be heartbroken by the events that undo their scheme.
Valkyrie might not be getting Oscar attention but anyone looking for a well made military thriller should enlist today for this slick nail biter that reminds us all that while many saw evil, some tried to fight it.

Arbitrary Darkmatters final rating: ööööööö (7 - GOOD)



Darkmatters quick reference guide (new for 2009):



Action 8, Style 8, Babes 6, Comedy 4, Spiritual Enlightenment 5



+ A film that makes you want to take a stand...



Best line: " The point of replacing Hitler is to negotiate the truce with the Allies. The Allies, I suspect would be more amenable to a truce if we offer it to them before they get to f**king Berlin! ."

Film Review - The Wrestler

The Wrestler (15)

Dir. Darren Aronofsky (The Fountain, Requiem for a Dream, Pi)

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

Let’s get ready to rumble…

“In this life you can lose everything you love, everything that loves you. A lot of people told me that I'd never wrestle again, the only one that's gonna tell me when I'm through doing my thing, is you people here…” but enough about my personal life, what about this new film that sees a never better Mickey Rourke deliver the performance of a lifetime?
Who’d have thought that the tale of a bruised and haggard washed up pro wrestler could be so compelling; I’m not even a fan of the men in spandex generally. But this is a real tour-de-force that sees a lifetime of bad decisions by Rourke finally paying off in the shape of the valiant but broken Randy "The Ram" Robinson. Here is a man still living off his halcyon era back in the 80’s when he was the star of Nintendo games and had his own blonde mulleted action figure. Now he eeks out a meagre living playing staged bouts on a local scene that are large on blood and spectacle but low on athleticism. A shadow of his celebrity chair breaking ‘pay per view’ days - imagine a more weathered Rocky Balboa in day glow outfit, living in a trailer park and dreaming of finding love before it’s too late.
Director Aronofsky follows up his weird and wonderful ‘The Fountain’ with a semi documentary of a loveable perpetual screw up who might have a lion’s heart but whose weary frame is simply too old to change.
Can a terminal loser like Randy find redemption in the arms of lap dancer Cassidy (Marisa ‘Before the Devil Knows You're Dead’ Tomei)? They certainly share a bond of being past their best and as she struggles as a single mum, he is estranged from his gorgeous daughter Stephanie (Evan Rachel Wood - girlfriend of Marilyn Manson - lucky swine).
The New Jersey setting is effectively used, all brutal greys and unflinchingly chilly vistas, which serve as excellent contrast to the cheesy wrestling arenas and neon strip bars.
The Wrestler is an amazing film and is rightly receiving award attention – you can’t help but feel that Rouke is exorcising personal demons in this role which drips self destructive authenticity from every battered pore. Aronofsky is gearing up to re-launch the Robocop franchise next which is a very exciting prospect given his remarkable track record for films to date. And wherever Rouke goes from here he can look back on having created an iconic screen character that will be long remembered

Arbitrary Darkmatters final rating: ööööööööö (9 - GREAT)

Darkmatters quick reference guide (new for 2009):

Action 7, Style 8, Babes 7, Comedy 6, Spiritual Enlightenment 7

+ I never thought that a role would suit Rouke more than Marv in Sin City but this is the one...

Best line: "I'm an old broken down piece of meat and I deserve to be all alone, I just don't want you to hate me."

Film Review - Defiance

Defiance (15)

Dir. Edward Zwick (last film 'Blood Diamond' DM rated 8/10)

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

It’s 1941 and the Nazis are on the march rounding up and killing Jews. Defiance is the ‘based on true events’ tale of Jewish brothers Tuvia (Daniel Craig), Zus (Live Schreiber), and Asael Beilski (Jamie Bell) who manage to turn the forests of Belarussia into a temporary haven for their people.
Director Edward ‘Blood Diamond’ Zwick goes for a broad stroke depiction of the struggles faced by those staring extermination in the face. You can check off the scenes – Nazis search for Jews, local police aid them, the brothers have their families murdered and swear to begin to fight back… which helps of course if you’ve got the current James Bond on your side!?
You will have seen many aspects of the cliché rich two hours plus before but there is always merit in being reminded of the strength of the human spirit, lest we forget how bad things got for those persecuted by the Nazis. The hardships of starvation, the unrelenting danger of the enemies and their collaborators – there are lots of thought provoking ‘what would you have done’ moments to ponder.
The inspirational elements of the tale of the brothers who came to be remembered as the “Beilski Partisans” attempt to balance out the crushing bleakness of this dark period in history. The wartime suffering is painted brutally, there are some savagely violent encounters and some stock quotable quotes such as ‘Our vengeance is to live’... The effective combat scenes and tenacious Moses-like leading of the people through a flooded marshland whilst being pursued, ramp up the tension – especially as the fates of the brothers are withheld until the end.
Craig does his best in the lead role but is somewhat upstaged by the gutsy Schreiber as his younger brother Zus, who is excellent throughout in a trickier, more nuanced role. Love interests are on hand in the shapely forms of Lilka (Alexa Davalos), Bella (Iben Hjejle) and Riva (Kate Fahy) who all look good despite the challenges of forest dwelling.

Defiance certainly goes for the emotional blackmail juncture at several points and if not based on real events could well be taken as a purely cynical cash in on the horrors faced and the bravery shown by this group of Jews who took the fight back to the Nazis in the own way. So whilst maybe not a classic of the wartime genre, Defiance offers enough to make it a worthwhile reminder of humanity pushed to breaking point and extraordinary valour that can result.

Arbitrary Darkmatters final rating: ööööööö (7)

Darkmatters quick reference guide (new for 2009):

Action 7, Style 7, Babes 7, Comedy 5, Spiritual Enlightenment 7

+ Defiance looks the part - shot in a remote, wooded area in Lithuania, about a hundred miles away from the real location of the Bielski brothers camp....

+ (SPOILER WARNING) Craig gets to take out a platoon of Nazis in the one big firefight - it's very satisfying seeing the enemy on the recieving end of one of their own heavy machine guns...

- One of the guys I saw this with hated it and I thought he'd dig it...

Film Review - The Spirit

The Spirit (12a)

Dir. Frank Miller (last film 'Sin City' - DM rated 10/10)

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

First a confession – I’m a massive fan of comic books and am always naively optimistic when they hit the big screen, even though for every awesome Dark Knight there are several weak Phantoms or Ghost Riders to endure. Now the genius that is Frank Miller, writer of my favourite graphic novel ‘The Dark Knight Returns’ comes a noir knock off of Sin City (which Miller co-directed with Robert Rodriguez). Based on the comic books by Will Eisner, The Spirit tries hard to be a cool stylized crime busting riff starring Samuel L. Jackson as the villainous Octopus and Gabriel Macht, as the Spirit himself. Unfortunately where Sin City was stylish and hard boiled to the max, The Spirit isn’t half as compelling and has a jokey tongue in cheek plot that never really finds a satisfying groove. By turns campy, cool, comic, dark and sexy – it’s hard to work out quite why it isn’t a massive triumph but it really isn’t anything more than a forgettable experiment.
There are certainly some things that The Spirit does right e.g. it has an abundance of quality babes led by Eva Mendes as seductive bad girl ‘Sand Seref’ and Scarlett Johansson, as ‘Silken Floss’ – the Octopus' slinky right hand woman. You see The Spirit is a ladies man who just can’t resist the charms of an attractive femme fatale and he’s spoilt for choice here what with Jamie King, Paz Vega and Seychelle Gabriel all on hand. He might be a vengeful hero who has returned from the grave but The Spirit is a womanizer at heart.
Set in a stark black and white lit metropolis referred to as Central City, but it could just as well be Gotham City or Metropolis, contemporary technology is fused with near future and yet everything is dressed as ‘40s style glamour.
The Spirit has been mauled by many critics, one called it ‘the worst film I’ve ever seen’ which is pretty strong damnation. It doesn’t take long before you realise that director Miller seems wildly out of his depth without Robert Rodriguez to back up his stylish flair. The fantastic look of the film achieves a convincing ‘graphic novel come to life’ style but the action is so disjointed and the characters are so utterly unconvincing that it is hard to recommend to anyone other than rabid film noir comic book fans.

Arbitrary Darkmatters final rating: öööööö (6)


Darkmatters quick reference guide (new for 2009):

Action 7, Style 8, Babes 8, Comedy 6, 'Spirit'-ual Enlightenment 5

+ The Spirit features an amazing noir look and feel...

+ Babes are the best thing on offer, Seychelle Gabriel is my tip for the future...

- Frank Miller really can't direct solo, fingers crossed Rodriguez will prevent him from ballsing up Sin City 2...

- Most memorable quote: "I'm gonna kill you all kinds of dead."