Film Review: The Magic Roundabout

"the sinister cold blue eyes of death... they're behind you!"

The Magic Roundabout (u)

Dir. Dave Borthwic

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

All is quiet, it’s teatime and before you know it Zebedee utters those immortal words: “Time for bed children.”
But ‘Boing’… Suddenly, as if by magic… Kylie Minogue is telling you that they’re “coming to get ya” – a talking sugar addict dog, an opera singing cow, a stoned bunny and a wacky wizard with a spring instead of legs, man I think I’ve been eating too much sugar myself…
It’s true though – just when you thought it was safe to take a trip back 30 years to a place of innocence and fun – here comes the super slick all singing, all dancing, all action CGI Magic Roundabout. Yes, some brave filmmakers have taken on the daunting task of updating the British teatime favourite (originally from France) which was once the 2nd most popular show on the BBC – behind the news!!
How on earth could this work? And who invited the lovely Kylie to not only voice Florence but also knock out a catchy Magic Roundabout single for the soundtrack? A genius team of Dave Borthwic, Jean Duval and Frank Passingham actually – and they’ve pulled off a minor miracle here. Aided by the superb voice cast of Tom Baker (Zeebadee), Jim Broadbent (Brian the snail), Lee Evans (Train), Joanna Lumley (Ermintrude), Ian McKellen (Zebedee), Bill Nighy (Dylan) and Robbie Williams (Dougal).
And there’s even a plot of sorts: the Magic Roundabout lies in ruin after an evil ice sorcerer Zebadee has escaped to freeze the world. Step up some unlikely heroes, Brian, Ermintrude, Dylan and Dougal to challenge the chill by recovering three magic diamonds.
Okay, so the plot might as well have been from a computer game and it is all a bit far removed from the genteel original but it’s just mad to see Dougal and crew trekking over fiery volcanoes, jungle temples and snow-capped mountains. Plus McKellen manages to instil the spirit of Gandalf into Zebedee and even gets a heroic ‘fall from a high pass’ scene after battling his icy nemesis Zeebadee. This leads to Dylan almost quoting Pulp Fiction with “Zeb’s dead babe, Zeb’s dead”; this and some of the original’s trippy substance references will keep adults of a certain age smiling.
What can I say? I was amazed at how much I enjoyed this slight bit of nonsense, maybe it was sheer nostalgia but then my son Luke loved it too which I wasn’t expecting.

Come on – to the roundabout!!

Darkmatt Rating: öööö (magic)

"I'm going to get that Polar Express piece of crap"

DVD Review: Firefly

From the firefly, a red orange glow,
See the face of fear, Running scared in the valley below… (U2)

Firefly

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

"You got a job, we can do it, don't much care what it is."

- Captain Malcolm Reynolds

This is a thing of rare beauty; Buffy creator Joss Whedon’s TV space opera is a fantastic blend of sci-fi with a look and feel straight out of a Western. Yes I know many series set in space are homages to Westerns on some level, but Firefly makes the theme much more explicit. The action takes place 500 years in the future, following the crew of Serenity, a small run-down cargo ship, as they travel the galaxy looking for work, both legal and otherwise.

I’ve recently re-found this wonderful series on DVD and am completely in love with it…

And the good news is that this year sees a big screen outing in ‘Serenity’ for the Firefly crew,

as Capt. Reynolds says in the trailer: Violence is going to ensue!

Nice.

Darkmatt Rating: ööööö (excllent)

"she may not look like much, but she's got it where it counts"

Darkmatters Fiction: TEST SUBJECT #30022

Darkmatters
by Matt Adcock

#30022 was their first born – the obviously favoured son amongst the family. Stronger and far more handsome than his siblings he was his parents delight. When food was scarce it was never he that went without, his kin went out their way to provide him with everything he could want and he in turn was a faithful and dutiful son. His brothers resented him not one bit either – he was their champion, their hero and they basked in the reflected glory of counting him as part of their family.
Then the day of the test came and things changed.
It started like any other day; breakfast commotion as the family bustled each other – things to do, places to go and limited time to eat.
#30022 woke with a strange stinging sensation behind his right ear, it felt almost as if he had been stung. Dismissing the lingering pain, he went to the toilet and was about to make his way down to the feeding room when his youngest brother leapt at him from behind. Biting, scratching and clawing him in a frenzied attack. #30022 managed to knock his brother off thinking it was just an overly exuberant early morning play fight only to find him scrabble upright and immediately leap at his throat.
“What the f.. Arrggghhh?” he yelped - the bite was deep and it immediately drew a fountain of blood from a severed artery.
“You little bastard!” coughed #30022 holding his frantic brother down whilst trying to preen his torn throat.
“Kill him, kill him, kill him!!” squealed his brother whilst biting #30022, trying to wriggle free from his powerful hold. Immediately two more of the brothers appeared in the doorway, “let’s get him!” called #30023, who had been born only moments after his brother and now fancied his chances at taking out his elder sibling. Without hesitating they both leapt at #30022 who fell onto his back under their combined weight. One of the attackers managed to bite his tail clean off, the other was clawing at his wounded neck. The youngest brother took the opportunity to pounce on his face and set to work biting his exposed eyes.
Blinded and panicked #30022 lashed out in desperation, managing to cuff the brother from his throat but exposing his soft furry belly in the process. The brother who had bitten off his tail took his chance and leapt forward his large incisor teeth bared. In seconds he had chewed through to the stomach and didn’t stop until he was virtually inside his older brother. The fight was knocked out of #30022 and the last things he sensed were the scent of his parents arriving. A tiny flicker of hope welled up inside him despite the unbearable pain of his grievous wounds. He died as his mother sank her teeth into the back of his neck, severing his spinal cord and allowing his head to be torn off.

GOV Senior Scientific Officer Goldiing watched the attack with interest from a few inches above the rat’s Perspex habitat. There were many cameras recording the event from different angles but he liked to see things like this close up and personal, rather than rely on the monitor feed.

Once #30022 was dead, the rest of his family ate most of him, and then almost immediately their homicidal rage seem to completely subside. For the next few minutes they preened their brother’s blood and guts from themselves and then got on with their routine exercises – as if nothing untoward had happened.

“Perfect, another perfect trial,” Goldiing mumbled to him self as he reached into the habitat and carefully removed the bloody bones that were all that was left of #30022.
“I’m a genius, I really have created the ultimate weapon.”
He carefully sealed the remains in an evidence bag and went back to his workstation to file his report.

The Victim Marker project was running according to plan. In fact it was delivering over and above the best-case scenarios: every test creature ‘marked’ with the newly developed isotope had been killed within minutes.

Other extracts from Darkmatters the novel by Matt Adcock:

Film Gunfight

Fear of Death

Cleric Shows Up

Who watches the Watchmen?

"big mac, and fries to go"

It’s hard to imagine but back in 1987, Watchmen basically single handedly introduced the world to the idea of superheroes having human emotions, psychological problems, or anything other than square jaws and simple morals. Alan Moore (words) and Dave Gibbons (art) produced a story about ordinary people who, decide to wear costumes and fight crime. These super vigilantes play out against some unforgettable imagery and the story was amongst the first to question the validity of caped crusaders in a realistic world…
And now it’s finally being made into a film… This has the potential to rule the kingdom of comic book adaptations but if not handled well or given the respect it deserves it could also suck superhuman amounts of ass…

For now you can register for info by clicking the title of this post…

Watchmen Update

Darkmatters: H O ME

Book Review: Marshal Law: The Day Of The Dead

"overkill doesn't even begin to describe it"

Marshal Law: The Day Of The Dead
by Pat Mills & Kevin O'Neill

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

"They say I don't pray for my enemy. I do. I pray they go to hell."
These are the sentiments of Marshal Law - super hero hunter with a very mean streak...
From the legendary creative team of Pat Mills (Judge Dredd, Slaine, A.B.C. Warriors) and Kevin O'Neill (Nemesis, League of Extraordinary Gentlemen etc) comes the hero to end all heroes. . .literally! Showcasing the very best work from the cream of British comics creators, Day of the Dead is a welcome return of a classic '80s antihero.
It is the none-too-distant future: The Government has publicly endorsed a genetics program, designed to create a new race of superheroes. A war against South America has left many of those "heroes" dead. . .but not enough. Now, men and women with super-powers run rampant. The public's greatest icons hide dark secrets. One man stands between the city and they Abyss. His name is Marshal Law, and he is a hero hunter. Day of the Dead sees Law up against Suicida a psychotic ex colleague – you just know it will end in tears, oh and unpseakable amounts of violence (and it does).

Darkmatt Rating: öööö (cool)

DVD Review: Petites Coupures

"hardcore comic book violence... not"

Petites Coupures
Dir. Pascal Bonitzer

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

You can't go wrong with a bit of arty French film can you?

This is a comedy-drama only really works because it makes good use of the talents of both an increasingly befuddled Daniel Auteuil and the enigmatic Kristin Scott-Thomas. The freewheeling storyline lurches from one event to the next, aided by little linking features – a lipstick, a gun, a ring – whose only object is to create situations, move them forward and give a form of continuity to the film.

Cinematically very nicely shot - shaded in both light and dark tones but it does get a little tiresome simply due to the fact that not very much happens (and for once the cracking Ludivine Sagnier doesn't strip off - as she has been want to do in films like Swimming Pool but fortunately didn't as the new incarnation of Tinkerbell in Peter Pan!?)

Worth watching if you like relationship studies, this film reminded me of how fickle we human beings can be and that Petites Coupures (tiny cuts - of the title) can sometimes wound far more than intended.

Darkmatt Rating: ööö (nicely made but bit dull)

Read some more of: Matt Adcock's Film Reviews

"that hat looks daft even in this cool blue filtered shot"

Film Review: Chasing God

"you can run but you can't hide..."

Chasing God

Dir. Dylan Burton and Lenny de Vries

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

Why do humans believe in a higher power? Is there a God and if so have any of the world’s religions have got the depiction of the all-powerful being right or are we all seeking the same almighty authority in the end? These are the questions that Chasing God, a new documentary by filmmakers Dylan Burton and Lenny de Vries, attempts to investigate. Billed as “The biggest search since ... the Dawn of time” the film certainly had potential to be the ‘must see religious film of the year’, alas it is more of a curious novelty but still of interest.

By interviewing scientists, atheists, anthropologists and religious leaders from diverse faiths, in locations including India, Israel, Palestine, Italy, U.S.A. and Australia the documentary attempts to explore the motivations of humankind to believe in something bigger and more powerful than itself, all to a powerful contemporary ambient musical score by Michael Timothy (Massive Attack). Unfortunately, having Dawn French "The Vicar of Dibley" as narrator immediately sends mixed messages about the seriousness of the film, which addresses a subject matter rarely tackled frankly in mainstream media.

Chasing God is certainly a fascinating concept but where such as study could have delved, probed and endeavoured to find those who have ardently experienced spiritual reality or committed their lives to seeking the truth of what God might be – I felt that Chasing God was content to gently skim over the surface of the issue. This leads unsurprisingly to the conclusion that everyone is really worshipping the same God, just in different forms, apart from those who don’t believe and even then, those questioned here seemed ready to believe should compelling proof be forthcoming.

But because beliefs about God have divided humanity so bitterly throughout history, such a conclusion is highly unsatisfactory – I’m sure I’m not alone in wanting some more insight in to the ‘why’ even as the film highlights the fact that a paradoxical unifying principle that may well lie beyond the divisive interpretations of God. I felt that Chasing God did not qualify its justification for such a view sufficiently with the interviews presented. What is said on camera in small sound bites, linked by some of the most clichéd imagery ever to be committed to celluloid, only served to make me wonder what had been cut from the interviews in order to make them fit the narrative of the film?

It’s true that while science cannot prove or disprove the existence of God, ultimately it is either a universal truth or a mass delusion. In the absence of any verifiable proof, what we are then left with are personal experiences – and again the experiences on offer here feel very limited in scope. I was hoping to hear from people desperately searching, those who have lost their faith, those who have personal relationships with God, but what Chasing God serves up is a mixture of tales of those who have ‘felt a joyful feeling’ or ‘witnessed a great light’.
It has the feel of a Religious Education video that could have been entitled not ‘Chasing God’ but rather ‘Whatever you think God is (or isn’t), you’re probably right and we’re not going to argue with you’…

Chasing God will be screening at the ‘Screen on the Hill Cinema’ in Hampstead later this year, followed by a panel discussion comprising various high level religious leaders, a scientist and an atheist. For information about this and other screenings of Chasing God please see www.chasinggod.net

Darkmatt Rating: ö (unholy mess)

A version of this review ran in the Baptist Times

Film Review: Ocean's Twelve

Ocean’s Twelve (12a)

Dir. Steven Soderbergh

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

Twelve is the new eleven – literally and if ever there was a case of ‘let’s have some more of the same but with extras’, this is it... I can exclusively reveal the recipe director Steven Soderbergh probably used to make this follow up to his massive 2001 one smash hit crime caper:

First take some big stars (Clooney, Pitt, Roberts, Damon - actually all the original cast plus Catherine Zeta Jones and Bruce Willis for good measure). Next add some audacious heists (not just one big score at the end but throw in extra ones along the way and make it competition too). Then blend with a romantic subplot, some laugh our loud Hollywood ‘in jokes’ and smother it all over in cool, hip, trendy banter / fashion / scenery. Finally top with a superb French villain and voila… Ocean’s Twelve the perfect follow up to Ocean’s Eleven.
This really is a supremely amiable film – you’ll smile to yourself as to meet up again with the loveable rogues from the Ocean’s Eleven, you’ll let the super cool style and general gorgeousness of the cast wash over you in a completely unchallenging way. And then, unless you’re a very sad and bitter person with absolutely no love of cinema, you’ll be gently amused by the spectacle of so many of Hollywood’s finest having such an obvious laugh working together whist you get to sit back and enjoy the show.

So, it’s three years after Ocean and his gang ripped off casino owner Terry Benedict (Andy Garcia) in Las Vegas. Life is good – I guess that would have something to do with the $160million that they stole but everything changes when they are tracked down and given the choice of repaying the loot with interest in two weeks, or meet sticky revenge driven demises. Sexy Europol agent Isabel Lehiri (Zeta Jones) adds some headaches for the crew but nothing can prepare them for a showdown with a master thief known only as ‘The Night Fox’ (Vincent Cassell)…

Yes, luckiest bloke on the planet - Vincent ‘Dobermann‘ Cassell (he’s married to Monica Bellucci) – is one of my favourite actors and he almost manages to steal the show from under the noses of the big U.S. stars. But there’s just so much quality crammed into Ocean’s Twelve including a sublime cameo by another of my heroes - Bruce Willis, that you really should ignore the nay-saying critics and place your bets on Ocean’s Twelve ASAP.

Darkmatt Rating: öööö (good fun)


Read some more of: Matt Adcock's Film Reviews

Next interview... Samuel L. Jackson

Got a invite this morning asking if I wanted to interview Samuel L. Jackson...
Oh, OK - go on then!!

Still love his hitman bible quote from Pulp Fiction - kind of a spin on Ezekiel 25:17

"The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he, who in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who would attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee."

Bring it...

Book Review: DIARY Chuck Palahniuk

"set foot on the island and you will die"

DIARY

Chuck Palahniuk

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

Ever since I first saw FIGHT CLUB I’ve been a massive Chuck Palahniuk fan… He is my joint favourite author along with Iain Banks and Christopher Brookmyre. He writes brutal, compelling fiction that is backed up with real thinking and genuine wit. I’ve read all of his books and have just finished DIARY, which continues his run of quality novels.

This is the story of Misty Marie Wilmot, a white trash trailer park refugee, her husband Peter is failed rebel who after ‘hiding’ rooms in houses he has filled with threatening vile messages scrawled on the walls, spends most of the book in a coma (hence the title as this is Misty’s Coma Diary). The setting is a place called Waytansea island where the populace are a bunch of sinister oddballs in the vein of the neighbours in Rosemary's Baby. The element of threat and destiny for Misty builds up wonderfully as the freaks on the island wait for her to manifest a reincarnation of prior Waytansea artists who ‘save the island from the mainlanders’. The island, it appears, does not want to become just another overdeveloped resort, and it is reaching across time to stop the flow of progress in a horrific way…In every Palahniuk book there are fascinating background details that permeate the narrative. For example at one point DIARY serves up Information about the Jewish Essenes (apparently a group who abandoned their families, training themselves by enduring sickness and torture – performing the very miracles that Christ later did and some of whom were credited with teaching the young John the Baptist and JC Himself!?)…



Palahniuk in a recent interview says: "In 'Diary,' the motto really is: Where Do You Get Your Inspiration? It coaches us to be aware of our motives and not just be a reaction to the circumstances around us. And then - if we screw up, which we will, again and again - to forgive ourselves and try to be more aware and make better choices the next time around.”

"Your life isn't about doing one perfect 'thing' and then falling down dead," he continues. "It's more like going to church or writing a book. You do it over and over, always trying to be a little bit better. Then you die."

Darkmatt Rating: ööööö (excellent)

"Waytansea Island will kill every last one of God's children"

Film Review: Creep

 

Creep (18) 

Dir. Christopher Smith 

Reviewed by Matt Adcock (@Cleric20)

Christopher “The Day Grandad Went Blind” Smith’s low-budget shocker CREEP takes a fairly interesting premise: “What if there is some kind of demented killer creature lurking in the depths of the tube system below London?” and then doesn't do enought with it. 

Starring Franka ‘Bourne Identity / Supremacy’ Potente as Kate – a party girl who falls asleep waiting for the last tube train and then has to spend the next few hours running away from Craig the Creep.

Craig alas is just not scary enough, he’s obviously some half-bred / scientific experimentation survivor but he looks like Gollum’s retarded older human brother. At one point he puts on a surgical gown and for a while could almost pass for one of Hellraiser’s cenobites. 

Kate performs absolutely all of the ‘woman in peril’ clichés – from going back to see if her friend who is being noisily attacked is alright, through to not killing the monster even when he’s lying defenseless at her feet next to a handy spear. The tunnels and sets are only occasionally used well and the whole film feels like it was thrown together without much care or pride. 

Unfortunately, a couple of cool moments (Craig does get one iconic backlit pose - which doesn't seem to be available online anywhere otherwise I'd have posted it here) get washed away in a sewer pipe full of below-par production values...

As a tube commuter – I’ve got to admit that I’ve had scarier journeys to work on the Northern Line than anything on offer in Creep.

Darkmatt Rating: ööö (not spooky enough)

"looks interesting but just not creepy enough"

Make someone happy (me) - check out my novel - click this banner...

DVD Review: Revelation

"The bible - now with added machine guns"

Revelation (PG)
Dir. André van Heerden

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

Welcome to the near future where after the rapture, remaining new Christians are known as 'The Haters', a new messiah has set up O.N.E. - One Nation Earth and a the 'day of wonders' computer game is about to cause even more upset than Manhunt... Yes we're pretty far off the scale into serious biblical territory here, but you don't have to have sold your soul to the Anti-Christ to enjoy this sort of 'straight to blessed DVD' B movie although it might help...

Revelation tries hard and to their credit all the actors keep straight faces, even when delivering classic dialogue like when Helen Hannah (Leigh Lewis) asks her brother: "Do you really need those things?"

He - Willie Spino (Tony Nappo) replies: "Hey, sis, listen - any wimp can quit smoking, OK? It takes a real man to deal with lung cancer."

So if you're very curious to see what might happen should the book of Revelation actually be true and you can tolerate low budget / production values then this is an undemanding way to kill a couple of hours. And if you get into it then it's part 2 of a series of 5 films and counting. But overall, considering the awesome imagery and freaky tales in the book itself, I'd recommend reading it rather than watching the film...

Darkmatt Rating: öö (poor)

"clue... blue eyes = good, red eyes = bad"

Miami Vice: New Movie vs Original Series...

"take that you unfashionable freaks! pastel suits rule!"

Ah Miami Vice... fast cars, senseless gunfights, cool scenery but most of all - 80's fashion – the pastel / silvery suits with their jacket sleeves rolled up… who on earth would go around in a white jacket, sleeves rolled up?
Ahem, OK, I confess that it was me – 1989, wanting to be Detective ‘Sonny’ Crocket, cruising around Canterbury and Herne Bay in my fuel guzzling bronze Nissan Bluebird, impressing the ladies with my muscled arms – which were sticking out my rolled up cream jacket. Getting into insane drug related shootouts and having my commanding officer threaten to suspend me for ‘looking too cool whilst blowing perps away’… Those really were the days…

And now I won’t have to just make do with my fantasies and region 2 DVD Pilot episode of the TV series any more – because next year Michael Mann is bringing it to the big screen. Step up Colin Farrell as the new Crocket…

Asked recently if he’ll be doing a Don Johnson impression:
“No, God, I’ll leave that to Don. Michael Mann wrote a great script. It’s not tongue in cheek; it’s not ‘80s. It’ll be a different period, a different sensibility.”

And the suits?

“One would hope not to be stuck in 2005 wearing a silver shiny *beep* suit with the sleeves rolled up and the baggy pants. It wouldn’t be very good undercover, definitely.”

Plus with Jamie ‘Ray and Collateral’ Foxx as Tubbs – my spider sense is tingling!!

dark matt

DVD Review: Angel Wars

"Let's go and kick some demon ass!!"

Angel Wars: Guardian Force

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

This the first in a three-part DVD series of animated, supernatural adventure of angels battling fallen spirits – was brought back from a children's workers conference by my wife, so obviously I was deeply sceptical and immediately expected it to suck. There I was with my boys - watching the DVD, waiting for it to be horrible and twee, do gooding Christians failing to comprehend what makes a cool film, poor animation, rubbish contrived plot...

But miraculously, Angel Wars is good and I'm shocked to be saying that it will now sit proudly on my shelf next to my other animated films - Akira, Ghost In The Shell, Blood: The Last Vampire, Patlabor, Wings of Honneamise etc. Wars has effective use of low budget CGI, interesting conceptualisation of angels (some fly on Green Goblin like gliders, others have kind of laser enhanced wings) - the baddies are even half decent - sexy evil demoness, large evil robot warrior - what the hell is going on?? Yes it might be made for boys aged 8 and 12 years old but damn it, I’d venture 30 something comic book fans like to see huge sword wielding demons just as much...

Angel Wars creator Chris Waters explains: “We didn’t make this series to provide escape; we made it to give hope. We want kids to know that they matter, that they can make a difference, that there is a spiritual battle going on every day” – a spiritual battle fought here to the rock music of dc talk, Newsboys…

Darkmatt Rating: öööö (good)

Film Review: Meet the Fockers

"their Focking back for more"

Meet the Fockers (12a)

Dir. Jay Roach

Reviewed by Matt Adcock


So you thought your parents were embarrassing? Yes, whilst my dear mother never misses a chance to tell people amusing anecdotes about me (the one when she found me singing ‘Oh happy day, oh happy day, all we like sheep have gone astray’ in my cot is a particularly painful favourite), I still count myself lucky because, well, I could have been a Focker.
If you’ve seen Meet the Parents and had wondered ‘what sort of people name their son Gaylord ‘Greg’ Focker?’ then get ready because you’re about to find out.

The story picks up after the events of the first film where male nurse Greg Focker (Ben Stiller) managed to convince ex-CIA man Jack Byrnes (Robert De Niro) to let him into his ‘circle of trust’ and wed his daughter Pam (Teri Polo). Now all that needs to happen before the big day can take place is for the in-laws to meet…

Enter the Fockers - father Focker Bernie (Dustin Hoffman shows he can excel at OTT comedy) and um, mother Focker Roz (a sex mad Barbra Streisand). The Fockers are the polar opposites of the uptight and repressed Byrnes and so the stage is well and truly set for the maximum number of awkward situations, misunderstandings and plays on the word ‘Focker’ you’ll ever see in just under 2hours. Hoffman’s touchy feely humanist Bernie Focker steals all of his scenes, when he’s not canoodling with his free love empowered wife, he’s invading the personal space of repressed Jack Byrnes and it’s just wonderful to watch. Each character gets their moment of glory like when Pam tells her parents that she’s definitely going to be “Pamela Martha Focker!” or little baby Jack’s first word…

Throw into the mix a surgically enhanced lusty housekeeper, plentiful painful slapstick, witty banter and even some interspecies dog / cat experimentation and there it is… It might not be clever and it’s certainly crude but it’s also really funny – and if you liked Meet the Parents, you’ll laugh loud and long at Meet the Fockers (at least I did).

For some reason many critics have panned this film – I have to disagree and with a worldwide gross of $287million and rising it looks like there are a lot of Focker fans out there. If you’re in the mood for a good laugh, I suggest you join them by going to Meet the Fockers for yourself.

Darkmatt Rating: öööö (good fun)

Click here to read interview: Matt Adcock Meets Dustin Hoffman

Click here to read Matt's other: Film Reviews

"the family weren't sure about De Niro's breakdancing"

Andy Flannagan vs Linkin Park

"I need to feel the cold of shadows running free"

Food for thought - it's possible to have things but not really 'have' them...

SON is a cool and thought provoking album by talented singer / songwriter Andy Flannagan (best track 'All I Am'), Collision Course however is the new fusion of Linkin Park and Jay-Z (best track 'Numb/Encore'). Today I've been challenged to assess what I'm doing with what I have, am I becoming numbed to the 'power to have joy'?

Man I hope not...

There is an evil which I have seen under the sun, and it is hard on men; A man to whom God gives money, wealth, and honour so that he has all his desires but God does not give him the power to have joy of it, and a stranger takes it.

Ecclesiastes 6: 1-2

I love the concept that you can have everything and yet nothing if you don't appreciate it...

"I’ve become so numb... Can I get a encore? Do you want more? " ...deep huh?

Darkmatters Fiction: Cleric shows up

Darkmatters
by Matt Adcock

‘Our glorious leader, in whom we pledge our trust, the great political instigator who has united the diverse peoples of London2. Only in Marcus Razour have we finally found our true leader – and it is he that will take us to the new dawn of man.’
“Who writes this crap?” said Cleric after reading the latest GOV infovert – “And just when exactly did our political leader start on this messianic ‘I’m going to save the world’ drive? It’s absolute bollocks…”
Cleric’s Social Rating™ blinked “* * * * Pissed Off and Dangerously Anarchistic.”
GIX kick in with a verse: “Our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world…”
“Leave it GIX, I’m not in the mood, I thought you’d had your biblical messages of doom wiped anyway?”

As fate would have it, miles across the city president Marcus Razour was thinking about Cleric at that very moment. Deep in the parliament battle fortress, in his luxury GOV office overlooking neoTowerbridge he is in council with his head of security Andious Fal.

“Tell me about this ‘Cleric’, I want to know why he’s being classified as potential terrorist threat?”

“Well sir, he showed up in a general sweep – he’s ex I.F. and then crossed reference as you requested with anyone who has links with the church of the True God, he showed up there again – not a practising believer we believe but his parents were both heavily involved – might explain his freaky name too? And we believe he has a decommissioned Faithbot mk7 with him, you remember the mk7’s I take it?”

“Yes yes, so, I see...”

“Andious, perhaps we might arrange for him to be brought in for an informal interview – I have a strange feeling about him and I don’t like having feelings because they often end in my having to kill lots of people.”

“Yes sir.”

Andious made his way to the elevator, he preferred whenever possible to travel by conventional methods – he was still somewhat dubious about the STREAM technology and only used it when it would look bad not to. Things were moving ahead nicely with the Victim Marker programme and now that there had been a breakthrough with the Dark Matter Collaboration too it seemed that both of Razour’s pet projects were going to succeed. Andious liked to be on the winning team, always had. The feeling of being able to operate above the law, of having unfettered command of the L2 GOV military response units and all security services – even the battle mage commanders reported to him which added to his sense of invulnerability. Razour was the man, there was no point in denying it and whilst he wouldn’t ever want to question his own sexuality – he certainly had uncomfortable feelings for his boss that went some way beyond loyalty.

He didn’t want to think about his love life though – that was the one area that Andious had just never succeeded, he was a damn fool and he knew it. Rachell had been the one, he knew it now – that had been the only relationship that ever had any potential - years ago now, he’d been stupid thinking he could move on by finding another girl. He was still haunted about how they had lost their innocence together…Still having flashbacks of his first time…which couldn’t be normal. He felt sick inside, not then, but now – now when he found himself obsessively tracking her – seeing her happier than she ever had been with him. And these days what good would he be to her anyway? He was so damn impotent he could barely raise a smile. Regret was his solitary companion in the dark these days and it didn’t matter how many under age hookers he took home – he knew that he had blown his chance for ‘lifelong love’ and he just had to get over it somehow.
Marcus watched Andious leave – poor bastard that he was –a shame that the only thing he was useful for was his vicious ‘bully boy’ mentality that went down well with the troops. At least he was loyal and easily controlled which were the key traits Razour favoured. But he was entirely expendable and that suited him just fine. He turned and looked out on the bright lights of the city and sipped his single malt, still thinking about Cleric…

Other extracts from Darkmatters the novel by Matt Adcock:

Film Gunfight

Fear of Death

Matt Adcock Meets Dustin Hoffman

"I'm a very good driver..."

Matt Adcock meets Dustin Hoffman


Dustin Hoffman is a true movie legend, he’s won two Oscars, been nominated for seven more and his diverse roles have included such gems as The Graduate, Tootsie and Rain Man. Now however he’s taken on the challenge of being one of the most embarrassing dads ever to hit the screen in smash hit comedy sequel Meet the Fockers.

In Meet the Fockers you appear to having great fun, did you like your role?

“Bernie is great – he is basically that kind of guy who wouldn’t mind leaving the open while he went to the bathroom on an airplane just so he could continue a conversation with the people that he was talking to. When I played him I just let it all hang out – in fact that’s what the director told me to do.”

How was having Barbra Streisand as your Mrs Focker?

“Unbelievably this is the first time we’ve worked together but I loved it - there was an openness, especially as the director said to ‘make out all the time – as much as possible!’ I'd say to Barbra, ‘Man, your breasts look great today’. And she loves her breasts... I’d whisper that to her during the scene - I like to do real stuff because I wanted it to be real. I don’t like fake arousal scenes, it has to be real. It might simply be to do with a look. There are five senses, so sometimes it's in a look or in a smell. I love the neck, snuggling into it and smelling that. It’s like prolonged foreplay – that goes on all day – when you can’t wait to get to go to bed together even after being married 20 years. Barbra said I should ‘do whatever I wanted’ and I think what existed between Barbra and I was an affection that was genuine.”

And bouncing off Robert De Niro?

“This is the third time I’ve worked with Bob and it’s always easy and fun to be in a project with him. This time I even managed to get some beautiful blushes out of him! I set out not trying to get to De Niro's character, but to get to Bob himself. I know Bob doesn't like his space being invaded but I said to the director that the first thing I was going to do in the scene where we meet and shake hands, was feel his peck muscles because I know he works out. And then give him a nice kiss on the neck. But I didn't want him to know it was going to happen.”

So are you much like Bernie Focker in real life?

“My family say that what I did on screen in Meet the Fockers is more the way I am at home than in any other film that I've done. I'm a grandfather now and I find that’s great, it broadens what you can do – so putting a large side of myself at home into a role - I’ve never done in a film before, because no one has ever asked me to do that.”

And with that he has to go – but I’d urge you catch him in Meet the Fockers as soon as you can - it’s definitely the funniest film of the year so far.

Click here to read: Matt Adcock's Film Reviews

"D'oh... I'm a father Focker"

Elektra is "awful" admits Jennifer Garner

"does my bum look big in this little black low cut dress?"

OK, this might be my last post about the Elektra film (at least until the DVD is released) but it's going out on a happier note... It appears that even she doesn't like the film - and thus my faith in her has been slightly restored (although she's such a hottie that even messing up Elektra couldn't remove her completely from my affections or stop me posting regular photos of her)...
Anyway, her ex-boyfriend Michael Vartan has apparently told Us Weekly "I heard (Elektra) was awful. (Jennifer) called me and told me it was awful. She had to do it because of Daredevil. It was in her contract."
It's just a shame that none of the studio execs realised that Elektra sucked ass when there was still time to improve it!!