White Knight Chronicles II (PS3)

White Knight Chronicles II (PS3)

Developed by Level 5

Distributed by Sony

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

Some say that you don’t have to be a massive geek to enjoy complex role playing games but that isn’t a widely held view outside of the millions who have sold their souls to World of Warcraft and the like. Level 5 however are the kick ass developers behind the PS2 age classic Dark Cloud and the first White Knight Chronicles which was a fun Japanese Role-Playing Game (JRPG) and they are at the cutting edge of helping to widen the appeal of these games.

Back with a beefed up sequel in White Knight Chronicles II which continues the whole battling RPG adventure and manages to improve on the graphics, control system and general excellence of the original. This might just be the JRPG that helps make role playing on your big HD TV both more accessible and whisper it ‘acceptable’ to a wider circle of non hard core geek gamers.

If you’ve played any JRPG – you’ll be right at home here, the basics are all in place, hero who forms a band of like minded pals to fight for the forces of good, levelling up and collecting powers and equipment along the way to saving the world. Oh and I should just mention the killer ‘wow’ factor that both the White Knight games bring the party – basically when you have sufficient power your characters can transform into giant knights – massively powerful and seriously brutal warriors who can beat the living crap out of multiple enemies.

White Knight Chronicles II has some brilliant features including character customisation that allows you change up your main character – who you will use both in the single player and as your online player. And, whereas the first game just let you create your ‘human’ character, this time your get to make your ‘White Knight’ too. Creating your own bad boy devastating pain bringer is enough to put a big smile on even the most cynical gamer’s face.

The even better news is that your customised Knight can be used in online play too… Nice.

Battling (which forms the meat of all modes) has been nicely improved too with a host of new ways to take the fight to your enemies. There is certainly plenty of content too – clocking over 50 hours of play – which can be tackled solo or in a team up online scenario.

Veterans of the original game are rewarded by being able to transfer characters, equipment and gold from the original title which is really nice bonus. And Sony in their wisdom have even added the first game to the blu-ray disk so you are in fact getting both White Knight Chronicles games for the price of one. Of course if you choose to play through them both back to back you might not have a real life to return to as these are potentially life consuming adventures!?

If you’re a fan of Final Fantasy, the Dark Cloud games, the original White Knight Chronicles - or hey, even if you're not a RPG fan, White Knight Chronicles II is a game you should definitely consider getting.

Out of a potential 5 you have to go with a Darkmatters:

öööö



(4 - Adventuring is rarely this good)...

"White Knight wants a word with you..."

Check the White Knight Chronicles II wiki here

Read my review of White Knight Chronicles ORIGINS on PSP here

Darkmatters Review: BRIDESMAIDS

Bridesmaids (15)

Dir. Paul Feig

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

If The Hangover and Wedding Crashers had a female offspring it would probably look a lot like Bridesmaids… Sexy, wrong and very funny – this shows that when it comes to foul-mouthed, laugh out loud toilet humour – the girls can bring it every bit as well as the boys.

Bridesmaids tells the tale of Annie (Kristen Wiig), a mid life woman who is picked by her best friend Lillian (Maya Rudolph) to be her maid of honor. Annie however has been unlucky in love and business – her life is steadily falling apart which makes it hard for her to be happy for her newly engaged pal who seems to have everything that she does not.

Things get worse when Annie meets the rest of the bridesmaids, there’s - rich and hot new wannabe BFF for Lillian, Helen (Rose Byrne), large and OTT Megan (Melissa McCarthy), blonde cougar Rita (Wendi McLendon-Covey) and repressed wife Becca (Ellie Kemper).

This oddball crew of females embark on a wild ride of preparation for Lillian’s big day. Along the way we get some seriously raucous female-centric crass humour – sex, vomit and bitchiness are on the menu and it works a treat. Bridesmaids wipes the floor with The Hangover 2 and comes away as this year’s best comedy so far.

Director Paul ‘The U.S. Office’ Feig works producer Judd Aptow’s patented high-octane comedy vibe to perfection. So if you enjoyed Superbad et al then have no fear in stepping out with these Bridesmaids – and it works as a date movie too.

The showing I saw this at had an audience that must have been about 90% female – a ratio I haven’t seen since Twilight!? And whilst the few blokes there were certainly laughing heartily, they weren’t the ones singing along with Wilson Philip’s cameo singing of Hold On – which was reminiscent of audience participation from Mamma Mia…

Annie is a great lead character – flawed and yet a heroine it is easy to want to see succeed, she wears some mean Victoria's Secret skimpy underwear too. Even the lesser roles add comedy value – e.g. nice to see Matt ‘Little Britain’ Lucas popping up as Annie’s odd roommate.

In the end it’s the competitive battle between Annie and Helen as to who is Lillian’s best friend that escalates into a insane battle of one-upmanship that will leave you laughing all the way home.

Out of a potential 5 you have to go with a Darkmatters:

öööö

(4 - flirty, filthy, funny - these girls will amuse you big time)...

Awesomeness öööö – more awesome than the Hangover boys!

Laughs öööö – very funny funnies

Horror ööö – gross out 'bad tummy' scene you'll never forget

Babes ööö – check these Bridesmaids out!

Spiritual Enlightenment ööö – follow your heart?

Darkmatters Review: Green Lantern

Green Lantern (12a)

Dir. Martin Campbell

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

“In brightest day, in blackest night,
No evil shall escape my sight
Let those who worship evil's might,
Beware my power... Green Lantern's light!”

Thank you for you interest in the position of ‘Green Lantern’, I am sending you additional information about what the role entails but have to inform you that we have made an initial offer to another candidate ‘Hal Jordan’.

Being a Green Lantern means that you are chosen to wield a power ring that can generate a variety of effects, sustained purely by the ring wearer's imagination and strength of will. Anything you can think of can be made real using a the ring’s incredible ‘hard light construct’ ability. Of course the greater the user's willpower, the more effective the ring.

Now for the first time since records began a human has been chosen to be a Green Lantern.

Hal Jordan (played by Ryan Reynolds) is your average smug all American test pilot who lives his life by the seat of his pants. His life is changed beyond belief then a dying alien crashes to earth and chooses him to take over as the new Green Lantern. Before you can say ‘that’s not very likely’ he’s packing a crazy looking CGI bodysuit and being trained in the art of battling intergalactic enemies with his power ring.

D.C. Comics are hoping that Green Lantern can become a new superhero franchise and have thrown a massive budget at this effort. Alas the result isn’t quite the ‘Dark Knight’ sized block buster that I guess they were banking on – because while Green Lantern is a fun sci-fi superhero romp, it is also extremely forgettable.

Director Martin ‘Casino Royale’ Campbell brings a workmanlike result to the big screen – packed with dazzling special effects but hampered by a confusing sci-fi mythos and slightly stupid plot.

Reynolds is fine (my wife certainly appreciated his CGI enhanced buttocks) but even with a game supporting cast including a scenery chewing Peter Sarsgaard who becomes a freaky nemesis for the Green Lantern there just aren’t quite enough thrills to go round.

There is potential for a hinted at sequel to build on this origin tale – but that all depends on box office returns. So check it if you want to enjoy another quick hero fix because Green Lantern is pretty much on a par with Marvel’s Thor but just don’t expect to be blown away.

Out of a potential 5 you have to go with a Darkmatters:

ööö

(3 - super effects, not so super overall)...

Awesomeness ööö – couple of decent set pieces

Laughs öö – some funnies

Horror ööö – some grim bits for a '12'

Babes ööö – Blake Lively is hot

Spiritual Enlightenment ööö – step up and save your planet!

"Blake Lively provides the sizzle..."

Darkmatters Review: Kung Fu Panda 2

Kung Fu Panda 2 (PG)

Dir. Jennifer Yuh

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

The wise Soothsayer say: “Your story may not have such a happy beginning, but that doesn't make you who you are. it is the rest of your story, who you choose to be... So, who are you, Panda?”

If you saw the original Kung Fu Panda you’ll know that it was a great slab of quality computer animated that packed in exciting adventure, likeable characters and genuine funnies. Now the oversized ‘Dragon Warrior’ panda Po (Jack Black) is back and this time he must face down the evil Lord Shen (Gary Oldman) who was responsible for the murder of his parents.

The good news is that Kung Fu Panda 2 delivers everything you want in a sequel – the cast of high-end celebrity voice talent step up and work to bring their characters to stunning CGI life. Director Jennifer Yuh is clearly on a mission to make sure that the quality control is kept to ‘max’ – the plot is well thought out and delves into the back story of the legendary warrior whilst also moving it forward. My youngest son James loved every moment of it – proclaiming it to be “even better than the first one.”

Lord Shen makes a worthy adversary as a metal-feathered peacock who has mastered the destructive art of making cannons and plans to use them to take of all of China. It falls to Po and his ‘Furious Five’ pals to try and save the country – and kung fu which is under threat from the new weapons of mass destruction.

There is a sub plot involving the need to find inner peace, only through which can victory be achieved – which is easier said than done when the whole country is looking to you to save them. The writers manage to keep it bouncing along at a good pace and don’t labour the messaging in the way that Disney and co tend to.

Kung Fu Panda 2 is a great family friendly film that rivals the likes of PIXAR in delivering a nicely balanced experience which can be enjoyed by kids and adults alike. Po is on his way to becoming an animated movie icon with his loveable brand of lunacy. You might not love Jack Black but here he channels just the right level of stupidity and heart in order to win the hearts and minds of viewers.

Get some more Kung Fu in your life.

Out of a potential 5 you have to go with a Darkmatters:

ööö1/2

(3.5 - big laughs, big action - all good)...

Awesomeness ööö – even Jack Black can't screw up this one

Laughs öööö – Funny delivered to your eyeballs

Horror ö – only nasty if you have a fear of peacocks

Babes ö – nope, move along

Spiritual Enlightenment ööö – find your inner peace if you want to kick ass!

inFAMOUS 2: The Fame Strips

inFAMOUS 2 – ‘The Fame Strips’

‘The power is yours, how you use it is up to you!’

inFAMOUS 2 is kicking super ass on PS3s around the world - with the electric power Cole back in the second chapter of this best selling ‘comicesque’ franchise... Once again the gameplay is unique in giving game-players the chance to shape the game by the choices they make; be it good or bad, every decision has a consequence.

No-one knows the pros and cons of being famous or inFAMOUS more than those in the fickle world of celebrity (musicians, footballers, models, actors and general guys/gals about town).

To celebrate the launch of the new title inFAMOUS 2, PlayStation 3 is behind a unique collaboration between Howard Marks (Mr Nice) and the Godfather of British comics Pat Mills (creator of 2000AD and key writer on Judge Dredd who currently writes graphic novels for Repeat Offenders Ltd, as well as having worked with both DC and Marvel).

The fantasy comic strips, which bring together seven of the world’s freshest comic artists, explore what would happen if some of the world’s favourite celebrities were integrated into the fantasy inFAMOUS world alongside characters of New Marais, allowing them to hold superpowers and the choice to change the world for better or worse.

Pat Mills says “The moral issues that the game brings up are very much the preserve of comic books, and always have been. That and the super powers of the game characters have something of the classic spirit of comic books about them. This project has been a really fun way to play with the morality of the celebrity culture we are so obsessed with. Perhaps most exciting for me has been working with this slate of talented young comic books artist that we are all going to be seeing a lot more of”.

Speaking on the artistic exploration & collaboration Fame & Morality Editor Howard Marks commented “I'm a comic book fan - and I'm no stranger to moral ambiguity - so my involvement in this project is a no-brainer. I'm also really enjoying seeing the best emerging comic book talent doing their thing! Kapow!”

The celebrities were chosen by inFAMOUS fans, celebrity commentators and bloggers for their impact on celebrity culture over the course of the last year.

The seven fantasy strips can be viewed at www.InFamousthefame.com and explore the central theme of comics and much of the gaming world - morality and the choices we make around it. Check them out and see if you can work out who has the power!

inFAMOUS 2: The Fame Strips

click to read!

here's an overview of what the strips have for your viewing pleasure:

Beyonce - Bootylicious Trouble – ‘It’s tough being part of the world’s most influential celebrity couple especially when your famous friends continue to show you up’: illustrated by Barnaby Richards – contributor to cult comics anthology Sturgeon White Moss; Barnaby has worked with Paul Smith and has works featured in a whole host of newspapers – his graphic novel ‘ the Funeral’ has just been published.

Cheryl - Bad Hair Day – ‘We all get them but when you’re in the public eye they are just that bit meaner!’: illustrated by Ellen Lindner; Ellen has published numerous stories in both the UK & US including her own graphic novel Undertow. She is also editor to the ongoing anthology ‘ Whores of Mensa’.

Gary & Friends - ‘Nearly Naughty’ – ‘Temptations of the flesh feature heavily in everyone’s lives - to grab or not to grab that’s always the question!’: COMING SOON!

Justin - ‘ Animal Saviour’ - ‘The UK public are animal crazy what better way to raise your profile than with some pet loving!’: illustrated by Luke Pearson; Luke’s work has appeared in seminal comic book anthology ‘Nobrow’ alongside work for a range of magazines.

Pippa - ‘ Empire Building’ - ‘Sibling jealousy can make you do strange things!’; illustrated by Kate Brown; winner of the prestigious Art Foundation prize, Kate has recently published her graphic novel SelfMadeHero.

Gaga – ‘Down with the kids’ – ‘When is too far too far?’: illustrated by JAKe is one of the UK’s leading illustrators having worked with the likes of Fatboy Slim, the Prodigy and Star Wars. His recent projects include illustrating The Mighty Book of Boosh

Lindsay – ‘Reformed Character’ - ‘Nothing changes if nothing changes but do we ever really change?’: illustrated by Fay Dalton; Fay recently won the Pickled Ink’s Pickled Award and is creating a huge buzz with her very naughty strip ‘Party Girls’ looking at the lives of footballers wives and special friends.

Darkmatters Review: X-Men First Class

X-Men First Class (12a)

Dir. Matthew Vaughn

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

2011’s cinematic summer is shaping up to be ‘super’ saturated with a host of high profile superhero films. Here we have X-Men First Class which will soon be joined by Captain American and Green Lantern, plus Thor is still in cinemas. So should comic book fans be smiling or are they getting milked by studios who are just churning out easy cash making wins? I have to declare an interest here – I’m a big superhero fan (yep that was me dressed as Kick Ass this weekend at my 40^th B’day fancy dress party!? - see below). So I’m looking forward to seeing just how many super themed films people have an appetite for.

"Kick Ass - faster than a speeding bullet... to see the real pics check my facebook gallery" 

X-Men First Class is the obligatory prequel to the existing X-Men films telling the tale of how before Charles Xavier (James McAvoy) and Erik Lensherr (Michael Fassbender) took the names Professor X and Magneto, they were two young men discovering their powers for the first time.

"Matt and Mike at play..."

Yes, before they were archenemies, these two powerful mutants were close friends, working together, with others of their kind (some familiar, some new), to stop the threat of all out nuclear war. It’s a fun premise and Matthew ‘Kick Ass’ Vaughn handles the fusion of real world situation namely the Cuban Missile Crisis - with the fantasy elements of super powered mutants getting into the heart of the action - with finesse.  

X-Men First Class is not your standard stupid popcorn superhero movie. This is film that will engage your brain just as much as it dazzles the eyes with impressive action set pieces. There are plenty of fan pleasing moments such as finding out how the X-Men got their names and some excellent cameos which I won’t spoil for you. The writers have obviously worked hard to retrofit this prequel so that it makes sense in relation to the existing films – and yet also leaves the door open for more prequel follow ups.

Knowing how the Professor X / Magneto situation will develop in the future doesn’t distract from the sheer joy of seeing just why a rift opens between them - which will begin the eternal war between Magneto's Brotherhood and Professor X's X-Men.

The special effects are superb – and of the unfamiliar mutants on the block underwear clad Emma Frost (January Jones), Azazel (Jason Flemyng) and Sebastian Shaw (Kevin Bacon) all stand out.

X-Men First Class lives up to it’s name as quality super entertainment. A hero flick recommended not just for comic book fans.   

Out of a potential 5 you have to go with a Darkmatters:

öööö1/2

(4.5 - First Class by name and by nature)...

Awesomeness öööö – When the X-Men let rip with their powers it all kicks off!

Laughs ööö – Funny in places

Horror öö – Nothing too grim - could have kick more ass as a '15'

Babes ööö – Emma Frost is the eye candy - see below

Spiritual Enlightenment öööö – Human nature is divided

"who needs a outfit when you've got underwear?"

here's what the film critics think overall:

Darkmatters Review: The Hangover pt II

The Hangover part II (15)

Director: Todd Philips

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

Two years ago, many men laughed until they cried as The Hangover set a terrifying new benchmark for stag night insanity. Sensitive souls yet to tie the knot (and their girlfriends) – looked on it horror at just what debauched antics men can get up to in the name of fun... Either way The Hangover’s Wolfpack of guys made big bucks and so as sure as night follows day, here comes Hangover II.

Plot wise, this is pretty much more of the same from the first installment, it’s not fresh and it is pretty predictable but that still doesn’t stop it being funny. And, as is par for a sequel, the set pieces are more messed up and played for higher shock value. So if you’re going to take this heady trip to Bangkok, get ready for even more crude and controversial drug, sex, nudity and eye-wateringly violent humour.

"what just happened?"

This time the Wolfpack – smooth Phil (Bradley Cooper), wimpy Stu (Ed Helms), sensible Doug (Justin Bartha) and crazy Alan (Zach Galifianakis) are geared up for Stu’s forthcoming Thai wedding. Even though he protests that he doesn’t want a bachelor's party, before you can say ‘who drugged the campfire marshmallows?’ the guys are waking up in the aftermath of a very very wrong night on the town.

"It's happened again!" is the disgruntled cry and thus the chase is on to try and work out exactly why Stu has woken up with a Mike Tyson tribal facial tattoo, they have a chain-smoking, willy nibbling monkey in a denim jacket in their hotel room and Stu’s soon to be brother in law - 16-year-old genius Teddy (Mason Lee), is AWOL is missing, apart from his detached finger.

Also back for seconds is Mr. Chow (Ken Jeong) — you might remember him as the naked Asian guy who leapt out and attacked the guys in part 1. He’s now pals with Alan and serves no real purpose apart from getting the gang into some more contrived dodgy scrapes. Paul Giamatti does a cameo complete with some good one liners but overall Director Todd Philips is on comedy autopilot and doesn’t push his material in the direction of ‘hilarious’ nearly often enough.

The Hangover part 2 is no classic but if you’re after a no brain dose of crude fun, there are just about enough funny moments to make this worth a look.

Out of a potential 5 you have to go with a Darkmatters:

ööö

(3 - still funny, and wrong but not fresh now)...

Awesomeness ööö – Certain scenes are great (e.g. monkey nibbling willy)

Laughs öööö – Funny stuff ahoy

Horror öö – Not too much unless you freak seeing men's tackle

Babes öö – Ladyboys aren't my cup of tea

Spiritual Enlightenment ööö – Spirituality through friendship?

Darkmatters Review: Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides

Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides (12)

Director: Rob Marshall

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

“I hear a rumour... Jack Sparrow is in London, hellbent to find the Fountain of Youth.”

That’s ‘Captain’ Jack Sparrow (or Johnny Depp) to you and the loveable rascal pirate lord is back for more high nefarious adventures. On Stranger Tides is the fourth of the series and sees Jack battling his way through many challenges including zombified enemies, beautiful but deadly mermaids and new master baddie ‘Blackbeard’ (Ian McShane).

Despite having a new director in Rob ‘Chicago’ Marshall, it’s basically swashbuckling business as usual – just not a quite as good as the last one… Some will certainly lament that the filmmakers have jettisoned several of the main characters from the first films of this big bucks series. Gone without a trace are Will Turner (Orlando Bloom), Elizabeth Swann (Keira Knightley) and Davy Jones (Bill Nighy), but along with Jack there are a couple of other returners such as Captain Barbossa (Geoffrey Rush) and Gibbs (Kevin McNally).

New faces brought in include the feisty daughter of Blackbeard ‘Angelica’ (Penélope Cruz), sexy mermaid ‘Syrena’ (Astrid Berges-Frisbey) and devout man of God ‘Philip’ (Sam Claflin) but they don’t add a great deal to the overall excitement levels.

The fourth of Pirates of the Caribbean series aims to bring back the fun romp feel of the original ‘Curse of the Black Pearl’ but it is very hit and miss. Filmed in entirely unnecessary 3D, the 18th-century setting of On Stranger Tides feels creaky as the plot lumbers from one set piece to another with little thought as to how it all fits together. The Fountain of Youth element is mildly diverting and the special effects are still top notch but somehow the ‘magic’ has been lost at sea along the way.

I have enjoyed the Pirates films and spending cinematic time with Captain Jack is always worthwhile – but where Fast and Furious managed to bring something cool and new to the party with Fast 5, ‘One Stranger Tides’ seems to be desperately scratching around to try and extend the series. Perhaps it’s time to bid a permanent farewell to the Caribbean pirates before they burn through the good will of fans (although if this makes big money at box office they’ll almost certainly be some sort part 5 made).

Out of a potential 5 you have to go with a Darkmatters:

ööö

(3 - stranger but not better tides)...

Awesomeness ööö – Jack is great, the others? Not so much

Laughs öö – Not amusing enough
Horror öö – Nothing too grim

Babes öö – Cruz is no Knightley

Spiritual Enlightenment ööö – Pirates will do anything for money

"rent a babe Cruz?"

Darkmatters Review: Attack the Block

Attack the Block (15)

Director: Joe Cornish

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

There are worse things than hoodies loose on the streets tonight…

It seems that angry homicidal aliens have decided to attack earth – and the invasion begins on a run down London block of flats. But the feral aliens who look like the unholy love children of King Kong and the Wolfman - with added glowing jaws, have picked the wrong block.

This directorial debut from Joe Cornish (of Adam and Joe fame) brings his street cred brand of humour to the big screen and delivers a wonderfully watchable horror sci-fi comedy mash up. With key pals such as Edgar ‘Shaun Of The Dead’ Wright on board to produce, Attack the Block is a slick, brilliant monster fight-em-up which feels a lot like an British unseen John Carpenter classic.

Starting with the all-too-real-feeling street mugging of young nurse Sam (Jodie Whittaker) by fifteen year old, knife wielding hoodie Moses (a powerful performance from newcomer John Boyega) the film brings a welcome sense of darkness and danger from the off. The yoof’s in Moses’s gang are your average bunch of teens who are presented as simply caught up in the drugs and crime lifestyle that permeates their estate.

"bad men on the block"

Joe Cornish creates a scarily believable snapshot of youth culture backed up with superbly authentic dialogue which really sucks you in and makes Attack the Block absolutely essential viewing for anyone who has / teaches / works with today’s teenage kids. Even with the mass of gory sci-fi killings punctuating the action, this film takes the time to let you get to know the young lead characters. They come out with lines like “I just want to go home, shut the door, and play some FIFA”… You might be surprised that despite their Daily Mail demonization, these hoodies are just really scared kids who have to keep up their ‘bad man’ images just to survive.

The special effects of the aliens are well handled and the threat of violent death at the jaws of the hairy extra terrestrials really amp up the tension. Attack the Block delivers some of the best human vs creature action to hit the big screen this year. I found myself grinning like a loon as the young heroes battle the aliens with fireworks, baseball bats and water pistols filled with petrol.

Everything comes together really well and builds to a satisfying climax – which is more cinematic than you’d expect from the fairly modest budget available. Attack the Block is your best ticket for hard edged sci-fi action mixed with street level laughs and a quality British feel good time.

Out of a potential 5 you have to go with a Darkmatters:

öööö1/2

(4.5 - merk those negative preconceptions)...

Awesomeness öööö – bring the badman heroics bruv

Laughs öööö – I laughed out loud many times

Horror ööö – some gory scenes and lots of menace

Babes ööö – Jodie is nice

Spiritual Enlightenment öööö – hoodies can be heroes

Darkmatters Review: HANNA

Hanna (12a)

Director: Joe Wright

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

Teenagers today eh? Take 15-year-old Hanna (Saoirse Ronan) she’s a bit of a handful having been raised in isolation by her father Erik (Eric Bana) to harness her enhanced physical powers and become the ultimate assassin. Watch as she takes on a squad of highly trained US marines, leaving them dead or dying, marvel at how she fistfights hard-nut skinhead thugs with ease and her ability to escape from maximum security installations.

It seems that all we really need to win the war on terror (and anything else) is a bunch of cute albino blonde teenage girls. Yes Hanna follows in the pint sized ass kicking footsteps of Mathilda from Leon and Hit Girl from Kick Ass by being an under age lethal weapon.

After bog screen hits with drama and romance, Director Joe ‘Atonement’ Wright delivers his first action film and he does it with style… The plot sees young Hanna pitted against he evil creator / killer of her mum Marissa Wiegler (Cate Blanchett) – her mission is to avenge her mother and find a way to escape the attentions of the insidious agency that is keen to wipe her and her father out.

"teen blonde on a mission"

Hanna has plenty of quality crunching action and (for a 12a) unflinching violence – the fights and chase scenes are up there with some of the best of breed such as films like the Bourne trilogy. The story cracks along at a decent pace – aided and abetted by a pumping bespoke soundtrack from The Chemical Brothers which gives the film a cool, hard edge. The cast are pitch perfect, even supporting characters such as Sophie (Jessica ‘Tamara Drewe’ Barden) – as a savvy worldly teenage brat who becomes Hanna’s unlikely pal. It is fascinating seeing the deadly but naïve Hanna trying to interact with ‘normal’ people when not facing down the many threats that are seeking to kill her. Special mention should also go to Tom Hollander who brings ruthless tracker Isaacs to tennis outfit wearing, OTT life.

"deadly but naive"

This is a beautifully realised dark coming of age tale with a difference that trails danger and thrills over and above the safe, soft tosh that we’ve been receiving recently. Wright is a great British director with a flair for gorgeous visuals, if you’re in the mood for decent action thrills – shot through an enjoyably twisted fairytale lens.

"life lessons from teen to teen"

A date with Hanna will leave you energized, shaken and stirred.

Out of a potential 5 you have to go with a Darkmatters:

ööööö

(5 - superb dark action thrills)...

Awesomeness ööööö – Hanna brings the noise

Laughs öö – couple of funny moments

Horror ööö – surprisingly grim in places

Babes ööö – Jessica Barden out 'cutes' Saoirse Ronan

Spiritual Enlightenment öööö – what is our purpose in life?

Darkmatters Review: THOR

Thor (12a)

Director: Kenneth Branagh

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

Thor, Odin's Son, through your arrogance and stupidity, you have opened these peaceful realms and innocent lives to the mild devastation of an overly long and fairly pointless superhero flick that lacks the thrills to really put it on the map…

Yes Marvel is busy gearing up for The Avengers next year which will see the ultimate comic book fan geek- out cast of Iron Man, Hulk, Captain America (see him hit the big screen later this summer) and Thor – the Norse god of thunder, amongst others.

"Loki whose been a naughty god"

So lovvie bothering Kenneth Branagh is tasked with directing this big budget ‘origins tale’ which maps out the back story of how Thor comes to earth and falls for cute mortal local girl Jane Foster (Natalie Portman) who just happens to be a renegade astrophysicist. Yes the huge helmeted, even bigger hammer-wielding blonde immortal hunk decides that earth is the place for him to protect based on his feelings for one young lady. Fair enough.

The film’s action bounces back and forth between modern day planet earth and the shiny retro camp realm of the gods – Asgard – which looks like it’s been borrowed from a Flash Gordon remake. Boss of the gods and father to Thor is Anthony Hopkins’ one eyed Odin who is trying to keep peace with the nasty god slaying Frost Giants from the adjacent realm of ‘Jotunheim’. The Frost Giants look like angry giant red eyed Smurfs and serve as rent-a-baddie source of enemies to feel the wrath of Thor’s magical hammer ‘Mjöllnir’.

The action scenes are duly spectacular if a bit soulless and as my son complained afterwards – there just aren’t enough of them but Thor (played to perfection by Chris ‘A Perfect Getaway’ Hemsworth) is good value and very charismatic in the lead role.

Supporting cast action comes from the likes of Stellan ‘Girl With Dragon Tattoo’ Skarsgard as Professor Erik Selvig (who’ll be back in The Avengers), kooky intern Darcy (Kat Dennings) and main bad guy / Thor’s brother Loki (Tom Hiddleston).

"Portman seems to be in every film released this year"

Samuel L Jackson does his regular post-credits scene as Shield’s Nick Fury plus other Avengers references include agents asking if Loki’s destroyer robot is ‘one of Stark’s suits’ and even a quick intro of another Avenger superhero Hawkeye.

If you’re looking for some big stupid super thrills, then Thor delivers just enough to make it worth a look. This probably won’t be anyone’s favourite superhero film but it does keep the momentum building towards Avengers which just might be the best one ever!?

Out of a potential 5 you have to go with a Darkmatters:

ööö

(3 - slick superhero fun but no classic)...

Awesomeness ööö – has its moments

Laughs ööö – some quality laughs

Horror öö – nothing very grim

Spiritual Enlightenment öööö – norse god morals run strong

Darkmatters Review: FAST FIVE

Fast Five (12a)


Dir. Justin Lin

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

“Chances are sooner or later, we are gonna end up behind bars or buried in a ditch somewhere. But not today…”

…Today we go see some stupid, larger than life car crime based action!

Since the original The Fast and The Furious blasted big car race / chase undercover cop thrills onto the big screen ten years ago, it has become the go-to franchise for auto adrenalin.

Now as the title kind of suggests we’re riding for the fifth time with the speed-freak crew of former undercover cop Brian O'Conner (Paul Walker) and his main man partner - ex-con Dom Toretto (Vin Diesel). Although if you want to be pedantic about it these two main characters skipped part 3 but hey, they’re back again now after reuniting in 2009’s Fast and Furious.

In case you missed part 4, you should know that since O’Conner and his girlfriend / Toretto’s sister Mia (Jordana Brewster) broke Dom out of custody, they've blown across many borders to elude authorities. Now backed into a corner in Rio de Janeiro, they must pull one last $100 million job in order to finally gain their freedom.

"check the crew"

The pals get an expert team of racers and crime specialists together in order to try and pull off the massive heist. As usual the authorities are hot on their heels and led for sheer fun factor this time by the hard-nosed federal agent Luke Hobbs (The Rock / Dwayne Johnson) who you just know is going to get into a macho fist fight with Diesel at some point. But as well as the cops, the heroic car racing thieves are being hunted by corrupt crime kingpin Reyes (Joaquim de Almeida) who won’t stop until they are all dead.

Fast Five is an improbably exciting and altogether superior sequel which will delight fans of any of the original four films. The action scenes are slick and frankly superb, especially the climax heist which brings possibly the most insane on road action you’re ever likely to see. Also big F & F fans shouldn’t leave until you’ve seen the additional scene that follows the credits – which points to a possible 6th entry…

Director Justin Lin, who has form for these movies having made the last two, is getting better each time. Fast Five shamelessly injects extra crowd pleasing elements such as a kick ass Call of Duty style gunfight to complement the fast and erm, furious driving action.

Car loving ladies and gentlemen, get down to the cinema and start your engines!!

Out of a potential 5 you have to go with a Darkmatters:
öööö

(4 - far better than anyone expected!? )...

Awesomeness öööö – fast and furious action a go go

Laughs öö – mildly funny (best not taken at all seriously)

Horror öö – some deaths but not much brutality

Babes öööö – Elsa Pataky and Gal Gadot are v. hot!

Spiritual Enlightenment öö – live fast, die young?

"Elsa Pataky wears the short shorts"

Patapon 3 (PSP)

Reviewed by Matt Adcock


Ever wanted to lead a tribe of crazy warriors that move only to your beat?

Well if you own a PSP then you're in luck... You might even have had a blast playing Patapon or Patapon 2 - but everything you've experienced up until now has been 'warm up' - Patapon 3 is where the real rythum drumming tribal warfare is at!

Yes just when you thought Sony Computer Entertainment Europe (SCEE) might be turning all thier attention towards the awesome looking NGP (PSP2), a game like Patapon 3 is released which shows that the current PSP is a handheld still kicking ass.

Yep the gameplay in Patapon 3 is immdiately pick up and playable (even more so than in the last two games) and it is once again invloves getting a tribe of warroirs to march into battle to the rhythm of the divine drums to please their 'Almighty' - you.

It's a beautiful, unique blend of rhythm and strategy gameplay that is ideal for a quick blast, and offers a deep, satisfying growing challenge that will keep you drumming for months to come. For the first time in Patapon history, you (the Almighty) is actually on-screen as a reincarnation of one of three new Superhero Patapon characters, putting you right at the heart of the groove.

Your tribe of followers will start small, consisting of just three supporting members Chin, Kan and Ton who will be hanging on your every drum beat as you command them through the game in time with the Pulse of the Earth. Guide them through more than 80 levels of volcano-scapes, darkened dungeons and twisted labyrinths, picking up new recruits along the way.

"hit em hard!"

As well as mastering the rhythm, you’ll also need to bring your tactics up to scratch – head to the Hideout where you’ll have to choose the optimal combinations of weapons and skills to send your brave little warriors to battle with. There are 30 bosses to defeat in the quest to save the fallen Patapon that have been turned to stone by evil forces, so your clan will need all your expertise. Different combinations of skills and weapons, and the way you play as a leading Superhero, will create a unique fighting style for your tribe, so no two Patapon clans are ever the same.

Patapon 3 brings online play to the series for the first time ever in Patapon history. Take your own Superhero to the online mode and play the entire game from start to finish as a team of four, or fight battles against up to seven others. You can even form your own online team with other heroes and put your tribe to the test against clans from across the globe.

Come on then 'Almighty' - show em what you've got!!

Out of a potential 5 you have to go with a Darkmatters:


öööö

(4 - bring the drumbeat pain)...

Check out more Patapon goodness over at http://www.patapon-game.com/
If Patapon was a girl it would be the awesome surf chick AnnaSophia Robb:

Scream 4 Review

Scream 4

Dir. Wes Craven

Reviewed for Darkmatters by Matt Adcock
(This post is sponsored by EFD)

"What's your favourite scary movie?"

The Scream franchise slices back onto the big screen ripping up the rule book of horror films - again...

The 4th Scream sees Sidney Prescott, returning to her home in Woodsboro whilst promoting her self-help book which has helped her come to terms with the brutal slaughter that has haunted her over the years...

The Scream gang is completed with Sheriff Dewey and Gale Weathers-Riley, who are now married. Oh, and another 'old face' too - that of the bloody murderer 'Ghostface' who is joined by sexy new cast members Jill (Emma Roberts). Kirby (Hayden Panettiere) and Chloe (Kristen Bell).

And before you can say 'carnage' the bodies start to drop as Ghostface goes on another homicidal rampage through the town - playing by a new set of rules for maximum entertainment.

Scream 4 is an excellent sequel and probably the best the follow up to the original - if you're a horror fan then you really need to see this and get up to date with how horror has changed thanks to the writer-director team of Scream creator Kevin Williamson and horror legend Wes Craven!

Out of a potential 5 you have to go with a Darkmatters:


öööö

(4 - your new favourite scary movie? )...

Awesomeness öööö – a joy for horror fans

Laughs ööö – darkly funny

Horror öööö – brutal killings a go go

Spiritual Enlightenment ööö – learn the rules and stick to them!

"Hayden Panettiere ups the heat in Scream 4"

Darkmatters Review: Your Highness

Your Highness (15)


Dir. David Gordon Green

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

Legend tells of a fantasy film that wouldst refine cinema viewing forever.

Featuring the mightiest of warriors, the noblest of princess and the comeliest of maidens – together they would overcome impossible odds and treacherous evil to bring truth, justice and peace to the land.


Your Highness is not that film, but it is possibly the funniest slice of fantasy nerd-em-up adventure to hit the screen since Krull or Hawk the Slayer and might even just be the ‘Best. Quest. Ever…’

Director David Gordon Green seems to still be in love with the joys of recreational drugs – following up with last ‘stoner action comedy’ Pineapple Express with what is a very similar format movie just set back in the mists of time. Your Highness boasts such a bawdy, sex obsessed, frankly stupid script that is will either offend the moral pants off you or tickle every dubious funny bone in your body!?

For maximum enjoyment you’ll need to disconnect or pickle your brain before viewing. The screenwriters dredge the comedy barrel whilst spoofing the Lord of the Rings type fantasy films – think ‘Dude Where’s My Sword’ and you’ll have some idea of what to expect.

"Princes to the end..."

The plot such as there is sees co-writer Danny McBride starring as Thadeous – probably the worst Prince ever, a lazy, cowardly fool who is forever in the shadow of his brave, dashing and altogether more heroic elder brother Prince ‘Fabious’ (James Franco). Fabious returns from his latest victory with a new gorgeous fiancé named Belladonna (Zooey Deschanel) but before they can web she is kidnapped by evil warlock Leezar (Justin Theroux).

So the quest is set for the Princes to seek Fabious’ lost bride to be and together face perils such as a pervert ‘wise wizard puppet’, seduction by tribe of bare breasted woman, battle all sorts of enemies including a mutant hand and a Minotaur along the way. The quest is joined by the gorgeous and feisty female warrior Isabel (Natalie Portman) who wears the most iconic metal bikini since Princess Leia and who packs some mad fighting skills.

"Not quite skinny dipping"

The laughs are a bit hit and miss but the cast go about the action with such conviction that it’s hard not to get caught up in the infectious stupidity. Copious fantasy references including Masters of the Universe, Clash of the Titans and Conan, certainly help make up for the weak pot-head and bodily function jokes.
So saddle up brave comedy fantasy seekers and make your quest to view Your Highness…

Out of a potential 5 you have to go with a Darkmatters:


ööö

(3 - the sword in the stoner)...

Awesomeness ööö – almost awesome, a near miss

Laughs öööö – stupid but will make you laugh

Horror öö – minor battle violence n some monsters

Babes öööö – Portman is hot, Deschanel not bad either!

Spiritual Enlightenment ö – unless you count dick jokes!?

- - -
Second opinion - The Telegraph who were less impressed and say: " It makes Mel Brooks’s Robin Hood: Men in Tights look like a masterpiece."

"Natalie Portman - classy actress!"

Darkmatters Review: Tomorrow, When The War Began

Tomorrow, When The War Began (12a)


Director: Stuart Beattie

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

G’day sport, you looking for some bonza Aussie action? Well quit your grinnin and drop your linen cos the dinkum Tomorrow, When The War Began is here to blow your mind.

Yep, the massive selling Australian teenage war novel (part one of a seven book series) has been brought to big screen life. Tomorrow, When The War Began is already a bit of a phenomena in Australia where it broke box office records and became 2010’s biggest grossing film down under.

So what’s it all about? Well take seven ‘average’ teenagers namely – Ellie ‘the heroine’ (Caitlin Stasey), Corrie ‘the best friend’ (Rachel Hurd-Wood), Kevin ‘the cowardly boyfriend’ (Lincoln Lewis Holmes), Homer ‘wild boy’ (Deniz Akdeniz), Fiona ‘hot blonde’ (Phoebe Tonkin), Lee ‘token Asian’ (Chris Pang) and Robyn ‘the religious one’ (Ashleigh Cummings). Pack them off into the bush for a weekend camping trip, only for a dastardly evil invading army to take over their hometown of Wirrawee while they’re gone.

"teens check out potential target bridge"

And like any rebellious but good hearted teens – as soon as they realise that their families have been taken captive and that the invaders are using deadly force on the peaceful townsfolk – they vow to fight back in a guerilla style.

Cue lots of sneaking about, soul searching and the occasional exciting firefight or car chase. It’s all put together well enough by debut director Stuart ‘the guy who wrote G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra’ Beattie.
This being a film aimed at young adults, I took my 14 year old son Luke with me to give me a teen’s view on the flick. He listed the action scenes, hot babe (Tonkin – who you might know from the mermaid TV show H20) and surprisingly edgy mood as the highlights but was less keen on the “dull” weeping and “boring” long dialogue scenes. Luke’s review score: 7/10 “good but not as good as Battle L.A.”

"this was Luke's favourite scene in the film!"

That seems like a fair reaction / summation of Tomorrow, When The War Began which delivers some cool military special effects and works hard to set up the numerous potential sequels which are likely to follow.

As lead character Ellie sums up to her video diary: “We've all had to rewrite the scripts of our lives the last few weeks… it’s been quite a time.”

Worth a look for anyone seeking a mild action hit – as long as you have a high tolerance of cheesy dialogue and ‘Neighbours’ quality acting.


Out of a potential 5 you have to go with a Darkmatters:
ööö1/2

(3.5 - arm your kids!)...

Awesomeness ööö – action is good when it comes

Laughs öö – couple of funnies

Horror öö – some violence against families

Babes öööö – Tomkin is hot

Spiritual Enlightenment ööö – even Christians can take up arms to save their country?
- - -

Second opinion - Total Film who say: "The directorial debut of Stuart Beattie (whose screenwriting credits include the Pirates movies and Australia), this is an impressive-looking film, but unfortunately, handsome production design is its main asset."

Darkmatters hearts MOTORSTORM APOCALYPSE!!

MotorStorm PS3

Developed by: Evolution Studios

Reviewed by Matt Adcock (A version of this review is also available at Frank The Monkey!:)

AAHhhhhh my butt is on fire!

Welcome to MotorStorm: Apocalypse, the third PS3 game in the MotorStorm franchise which has been tearing up Sony’s powerhouse machine with a uniquely balls out flavour of racing since it launched. ‘Apocalypse’ brings a new level of insane destruction to the mix – the races this time are not just off road, but off the scale awesome as the urban landscape itself is torn apart by a massive earthquake.

Ah yeah, the earthquake, well that didn’t work out so well for the makers as MotorStorm: Apocalypse was due to be released just when the real world earthquake had just hit Japan. So the game was quite rightly delayed for a few weeks to literally "let the dust settle".

So if you’ve played any of the previous MotorStorm games then you’ll know what to expect racing wise – full throttle arcade thrills, where ramming opponents is actively encouraged and boosting over the winning line on fire is part of the experience. Apocalypse recaptures some of the original’s spunky attitude which had been toned down for the last outing, it is also a darker take on the genre with passers-by and spectators fair game to become road kill if they get in the way!?

Anyway - this video shows you exactly what to expect:



The racing dynamics are tight and highly satisfying, boosted by the addition of some wicked new vehicles including supercars, superbikes, hot hatches, muscle cars and choppers. The urban setting makes a refreshing change from the mud, sand (and ice if you count the PSP ‘Artic Edge’) and the feeling of driving a suped up supercar through a dust cloud of pure destruction as the whole track literally collapses around you is a buzz that no other racing game to date has managed to deliver. It dwarves the efforts of Split / Second which was the closest to it in terms of urban racing / destruction and sets a new benchmark for total hard core arcade racing fun.

The MotorStorm Apocalypse city where the ‘Festival’ of racing takes place gets ravaged in real-time as you race - bridges can buckle and twist, buildings collapse and rifts open up beneath the vehicles as they drive, it’s awesome. You can also tinker with the look of your vehicles this time with vinyls, parts, and modified stat changing ‘perks’. It gives you a good affinity with you vehicles and lets you set them up in the style you want to race – combative, pure speed, defensive etc.

MotorStorm fans know just how important using the boost is – and letting it cool down is a key part of winning races. Driving through water is one way to cool / recharge the boost but here you can also let the air cool you down by performing some crazy big air jumps.
The city (or what’s left of it) is still home to some folks – and they can effect the race by doing things like firing missiles onto the track… This interference adds another element to the races and keeps it unpredictable.
You begin as a ‘Rookie’ and can work your way through ‘Pro’ through to ‘Veteran’ – it doesn’t take too long to progress if you’re any good and there are plenty of achievable trophies to grab along the way.
So the Festival is the main single-player mode and has a storyline which is new to the series – told through fun graphic novel like cut scenes. MotorStorm: Apocalypse – of course keeps and improves on the excellent brutal online multiplayer racing too – complete with Call of Duty alike perks to unlock.

"I feel the need, the need for - oh wait, not that game, this is MOTORSTORM!"

MotorStorm: Apocalypse is a great game which delivers a unique and fun to play racing experience that kicks the ass of any other off road racer on any system. If you like racing games then this is a must buy – don’t deny yourself the sheer excitement that awaits.

Out of a potential 5 you have to go with a Darkmatters:


ööööö

(5 - Awesome shock and awe on wheels)...

If MOTORSTORM APOCALYPSE was a girl it would be recently named by Esquire Magazine 'sexiest woman alive': Katrina Bowden
 

"tipped for big things by Darkmatters in 2007"