Neon Shocks & Nic Parker Interview

Neon Shocks 

Nic Parker (https://www.facebook.com/nic.parker007)

Reviewed by Matt (@Cleric20) Adcock

This book is less a collection and more a grab-bag of nightmares, an eclectic run of horror shorts that refuse to sit neatly in one coffin, if you will.

This isn’t about one flavour of fear. Parker skips between supernatural chillers, grotesque body horror, strange little reality fractures and straight-up unsettling weirdness with the confidence of someone who knows the genre inside out. The result is unpredictable in the best way, you’re never quite sure what kind of darkness you’re about to step into next.

What holds it together is tone, Nic writes with heart and style. There’s a consistent undercurrent of unease, like the world itself is slightly out of joint. Some stories hit fast and hard, others linger, but there’s always that sense that something isn’t right, much like those classic Pan horror anthologies I grew up reading. 

Parker is a twisted, sick bunny and some of her very personal likes and fears flow through the stories which bite with sharp, nasty, and often lingering imagery...

Short, strange, and enjoyably unhinged, Neon Shocks feels like flipping through a stack of cursed horror anthologies where every few pages something genuinely disturbing slips through and punches you in the face!

Out of a potential 5, you have to go with a Darkmatters:

ööööö

(5 - Nobody Trusts Anybody Now, And We're All Very Tired.)

'The Return of the Living Nic Parker' 

I got to ask Nic some questions - so read on if you want a bit of an insight into her dark mind…

Matt: Neon Shocks feels like a mixtape of nightmares, what kind of mental jukebox are you pulling from when you decide what goes in?

Nic: Hah, good question. Probably my lifetime of nightmares read and watched since childhood. I started with horror comics as a kid, watched movies like Bava's Black Sunday and Howard Hawks' The Thing From Another Planet, then moved on to hunt down the infamous video nasties of the 80s (which were still cut over here in Germany when you managed to track a fifth copy down) in my teens. Add a lot of Stephen King and Clive Barker and the fabulous horror films I managed to catch at genre festivals during the decades. So Neon Shocks is the amalgamation of the horror that dwells inside of me ;-)

Matt: If one story in the collection is secretly “the most you,” which one is it and should we be worried?

Nic: With me you should alway be worried - only thing that keeps me behaving: I'm too cute for jail! I can't actually pick one story I like most as they're all me - that's why I don't have a favourite sub genre in horror. Slasher, ghost story, sci-fi horror, psychological - I adore all aspects of the genre and that love spawns all the stories.

Matt: Your horror swings between the grotesque and the quietly unsettling which scares you more as a writer?

Nic: I don't scare easily at all. I think you can have an absolute ball with the grotesque and - like we say in German - really hit the shit. You can be insidious and let the fear fester inside the reader going the quieter way until the 'whack across the head' revelation.

Matt: There’s a real love of old-school horror DNA in here, what are your top 3 horror films?

Nic: Ever since I first saw it as a kid my favourite film is and will always be Carpenter's The Thing. And I will always love Re-Animator and Fulci's The Beyond.

Matt: You’re in a strange town and someone is out to kill you - who is it most likely to be?

Nic: Ha - whoever it is; I hope he brought the bazooka!

Matt: Be honest: have you ever had to stop writing one of these stories because it got under your own skin?

Nic: Not really. Whatever I can come up with - more terrible things are probably happening somewhere in the real world without anyone knowing.

Matt: Horror often says something sideways about the real world, are we doomed?

Nic: Seeing the incredible amount of creativity and originality in the genre during the last years and the new wave of passionate horror directors that emerged in the genre I'd say there's enough hope for all of us. And speaking of a new hope - as a Star Wars Fan I'd have never thought I'd be so excited about a Star Wars film again as I'm for The Mandalorian And Grogu, John Favreau put his fan heart and soul into this. Also, I firmly believe everything comes in waves. Having lived through the iron curtain age and the fear of nukes and the Chernobyl catastrophe I know things usually become better again after a while. I'm a horrible optimist.

Matt: If one of your stories escaped into the real world, which would cause the most chaos… and which would you secretly want to witness?

Nic: Most surely Careful What You Wish For, the Devil himself doing wages with people would be cool but also wreak a lot of havoc! And this story becoming real would mean Freddie Mercury being alive and back on stage again. So win win for all of us.

Matt: What’s the line you won’t cross or is that line basically a suggestion at this point?

Nic: Well, let me put it this way, I always loved graphic effects and violence in movies, nothing like a flying head and a good disembowelment. But I have a bit of a blockage when it comes to torture porn that's gone way beyond Hostel. Violence should always support the story and I'm not a fan of exaggerated rape/torture scenes just to serve certain tastes.

Matt: What would you like written on your grave?

Nic: It was one hell of a fun ride - and there were cats!

GET YOUR COPY OF NEON SHOCKS: HERE

>>> Imagine a world where the earth is becoming hell? One man with powers and his robot sidekick might be our only hope...

Click banner below to hear a FREE 5 mins sample of my audiobook which is becoming a graphic novel too)...

Darkmatters Review: Kill List

KILL LIST (18)

Dir. Ben Wheatley

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

“They are bad people – They should suffer.”

What if there are malign, crazed occult forces at work behinds the scenes of our society?
Wouldn’t it be unnerving if they employed hit-men to take out people they deemed worthy of death – on a ‘Kill List’?

Step into the world of ex-squaddie Jay (Neil Maskell) he’s suffering from some sort of post traumatic stress disorder and although he and his pal Gal (Michael Smiley) are assassins for hire, he hasn’t been able to kill anyone for at least 8 months.

The film start as Gal and his odd girlfriend Fiona (Emma ‘PhoneShop’ Fryer) have dinner with Jay and Swedish his ex-military Mrs Shel (MyAnna ‘The Descent’ Burning). Things are not good with Jay and Shel – the meal is so naturalistic and charged with ill feeling that is one of the most painful domestic scenes ever committed to film.

Anyway, Gal gets Jay to agree to take on a lucrative hit – to wipe out 3 people on a kill list for some sinister old geezer who writes his contracts in blood. The film works through escalating ‘hits’ buoyed by the believable and likeable buddy banter of the two leads. There is a classic scene where the two have an alteration with a group of guitar happy Christians in a hotel restaurant – which alludes to a spiritual battle taking place behind the scenes - and certainly adds an extra element to the film which many will probably gloss straight over.

As a Christian I'm always interested in depictions of spiritual powers and their effect on us - be that the delusion of cults, the supernatural power of evil or (and never normally very well captured) the majestic all powerful nature of God (see TREE OF LIFE for best recent reflection on this). Kill List might not be your first choice for a spiritual film but it definitely packs a loaded element of supernatural disturbance...

"goodbye..."

Before you write Kill List off as a oddball quirky Brit gangster flick, you should know that if you let it, it will get under your skin and eat its way out from the inside! There is the growing palpable sense of unease that I haven’t experienced as deeply since the excellent voodoo dread feel of the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre. And yes horror fans Kill List morphs into a full-blooded horror film at the end, which left the audience I saw this with - in shocked, stunned silence with a super grim sucker punch ending.

The occult elements of the film aren’t worked as satisfyingly as might have been – indeed one of the mates I saw this with was left cold by the whole low budget, exposition less natural feel. But for those willing to embrace shocking violence, forgive slightly lumpy plot transitions and seek enjoyment in a weird and darkly funny British horror – Kill List marks itself out as a heavyweight viewing experience.

Think The Wicker Man (original), mixed with House of the Devil and Dead Man’s Shoes, set in a recession era modern day Britain and you have something altogether more interesting than most sugar coated supposed horror recent efforts.

Out of a potential 5 you have to go with a Darkmatters:

öööö

(4 - Turbo charged and spewing black fumes)...

Awesomeness öööö – some very heavy duty scenes

Laughs öö – a few dark chuckles to be had

Horror ööööö – some of this is beyond grim

Babes ööö – MyAnna Burning gives good blonde

Spiritual Enlightenment ööö - brutal and stark warped spirituality

"Oi son, your misses is a nutter..."

Resistance 3 comes to life - And Darkness Descends

"Dare you enter?"

And Darkness Descended... 

- A live action adventure experience based on the new PS3 game Resistance 3!? 

Experienced by Matt Adcock

"that's the smile of a survivor!"

Sony are pretty cool when it comes to game launches and so for the third in the Resistance Franchise, PlayStation 3 have commissioned immersive theatre specialists, Punchdrunk to create a unique survival experiment fusing theatre and gaming.

So you get to 'be' one of the last humans alive, stumbling through a mutant creature infested film set that is designed to freak even the hardiest gamer out... It's one thing when facing alien creatures and mutated humans on a screen (with a virtual gun to keep them at bay) - it's another thing entirely when you have to try and sneak through a hellish medical lab filled with wailing wounded, in the dark, stalked by alien creatures, with no weaponry of any sort.

I had to quote Frost from Aliens: "What the hell are we supposed to use man? Harsh language?" but even harsh language (or screaming very loudly which seemed to be the tactic employed by the females in our group) didn't work on our flesh hungry foes...

We weren't allowed to take pictures 'in' the adventure either but I did manage to do a quick sketch (below):

"imagine this but darker..."

The Waterloo Station Arches, are where the 'And Darkness Descended..." experience is hosted and  Playstation / Punchdrunk have done a great job in putting you actually into the prequel to the Resistance 3 game. 

Our plucky group's mission was to get a code to some US survivors - the rules were simple, if you get touched by an enemy - you're out of the game (which sounds fine until you see a friendly marine being dragged off into the darkness by one of the enemy creatures)... 

"Playing the game with a nice glass of red wine was for those who made it out..."

Things went a little nuts after we somehow managed to unlock an abandoned computer terminal and send our code message. We'd already 'lost' some of our group and so when a nearby door was broken open silhouetted in the red light was a freak-show alien - we few survivors ran for out lives - see below (where a helpful Sony PR guy took our photo):

"the men made it out - led by the fastest / most cowardly green cardigan man, the women... 

ah well, they're probably tastier for the aliens to snack on anyway!?"

If you're brave enough to want to try this experience, you can - find out if there are any placed left for Saturday 3rd and Sunday 4th September by emailing accesslive@scee.net stating your preferred date...

Times: 19.00-23.00 3rd and from 14.00-19.00 on Sunday 4th September 2011

Venue: Waterloo Station Arches, Leake Street, SE1 7NN 

18 years, ID may be required. Trainers or running shoes are highly recommended.

MORE INFO: 

www.facebook.com/playstationaccess

"They're everywhere - this pic taken on the Northern Line"

FULL DARKMATTERS REVIEW OF RESISTANCE 3 COMING SOON!

Darkmatters Review: Final Destination 5

Final Destination 5 (15)

Dir. Steven Quale

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

“Y'all just be careful now.”

Death it seems is a sure fire crowd pleaser (as long as the crowd are horror fans) and so after ‘The Final Destination 3D’ hinted at an end to this accident-em-up franchise – the grim reaper is back for more.

You must know the drill by now. Take an assorted group of young people – including at least one babe, one good looking guy, one geek, one ethnic dude and one who’s such a dick that you really want them to die. It’s important that all of the characters be instantly forgettable too. Have the group escape death due to one of them having a premonition about the impending disaster, in this case an impressively rendered bridge collapse. Then spend the rest of the film killing off the group one by one in really gruesome ways – preferably that involve bits of their body flying out towards the audience to make the most of the 3D!

And that’s exactly what Final Destination 5 delivers…

Nicholas D'Agosto takes the lead role of Sam Lawton – a average chap who on the day that he cheats death by foreseeing the coming bridge collapse gets dumped by his hot girlfriend Molly (Emma ‘The Walking Dead’ Bell). Sam’s pal Peter (Miles Fisher) tries to console him but before you can say “you’re all doomed” the group are getting sliced diced and impaled in various nasty ways.

The Final Destination films are masters of taking things that people are often a bit scared of – flying, roller coasters, freeway accidents etc to which part 5 adds laser eye surgery and acupuncture and shows you exactly why you might be freaked our by them… The good news is that the scenes are filmed with a slickness and delight in wrong footing the audience that allows the gallows humour kick in to full effect.

If you’re at all squeamish then this really isn’t the film for you – the makers really push the boat out on some of the deaths, which include the most painful gymnastic dismount in cinematic history…

"stabbing is one of the less inventive exit scenarios"

The audience is actively encouraged to be voyeuristic gore hounds who applaud while being appalled at the crisp HD 3D squishing of eyeballs, bursting of entrails and splattering of bodies.

Of course death will come to us but in Final Destination 5 it comes with a vengeance! Whether you want to witness potential death at the cinema is up to you…

Out of a potential 5 you have to go with a Darkmatters:

öö1/2

(2.5 - been there, died that)...

Awesomeness ööö – sickos might find some here

Laughs öö – less fun than part 4

Horror ööö – some very grim scenes

Babes ööö – Emma Bell is hot

Spiritual Enlightenment öö - you can't cheat death...

"Emma Bell is lovely"

Darkmatters Review: The Inbetweeners Movie

The Inbetweeners Movie (15)

Dir. Ben Palmer

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

Right ‘bumders’ prepare yourself for the big screen exploits of some UK youths known as The Inbetweeners…

These aren’t rioting / looting chav scumbags either, these are just average young middle England chaps trying to make it through their teen years. Four friends obsessed with girls, trying to be cool, the hope of sex, having a laugh, dealing with embarrassing parents and exploring the finer points of self-pleasuring themselves.

For those who haven’t had the pleasure of meeting the Inbetweeners they are posh nerd Will Mackenzie (Simon Bird), nice but dim Neil Sutherland (Blake Harrison), sex mad wide boy Jay Cartwright (James Buckley) and your average lovelorn teen Simon Cooper (Joe Thomas). So the pals have survived school – the end of which is marked by a superb ‘leavers speech’ by Head of Sixthform Mr Gilbert (Greg Davies) where he tells the kids in no uncertain terms how little he hopes he’ll ever see them again. Be sure to look out for Gilbert again just as the end credits hit as he has a truly unforgettable final cameo!

"The boys soak up the rays - shame Will has a cock burnt onto his back!"

When Simon gets dumped by his girlfriend / love of his life Carli D'Amato (Emily Head) , the boys decide that only a sun and booze filled holiday in Greece will be only way to take his mind off it.

So the scene is set for a cringe-em-up horror story of cheap package holiday fun which sees the boys drinking copious amounts, getting ripped off, dancing very very badly and trying with various amounts of success to hit on females.

The writers (Damon Beesley and Iain Morris) bring some fantastic situations to the table, which put the characters through humiliation beyond the call of duty. Think The Office played entirely with work experience kids or maybe a British version of American Pie directed by Francis Ford Coppola and you’ll have some idea what to expect.

The Inbetweeners Movie works better than expected – delivering plenty of ‘wrong’ laugh out loud material, some of which will have you wincing at the screen. If you’re one of the Daily Mail reading reactionaries who knock The Inbetweeners for being overly crass, crude and juvenile then you really need to get over yourselves and realise that stupid and over the top as this might be – it’s probably the best insight into young male minds ever.

And as Jay says: “You better bring your wellies, because you'll be knee-deep in clunge.”

"The females on the town"

Out of a potential 5 you have to go with a Darkmatters:

öööö

(4 - every loser wins!?)...

Awesomeness öööö – you may never forget some scenes

Laughs öööö – yes you'll laugh (unless you're dead)

Horror ööö – snorting poo anyone?

Babes öööö – crumpet alert for the 'Pussay Patrol'

Spiritual Enlightenment öö - what happens on holiday, stays on holiday!?

"Laura Haddock - can Will really pull this?"

Darkmatters Review: Rise of the Planet of the Apes

Rise of the Planet of the Apes (12)

Dir Rupert Wyatt

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

Imagine a new gene therapy that enabled the brain to repair itself – it could be the cure for Alzheimer's, it could change everything…
Of course there will be some who’ll say that we shouldn’t test new drugs like this on animals but with the potential for such great medical progress – surely monitoring the effect it has on a few apes is a risk worth taking? What’s the worst that could happen?

Bio engineer Will Rodman (James ‘new Spiderman’ Franco) is the scientist who created the potential wonder drug ALZ-112. His first ape trial goes wrong but he takes Caesar the child of his brain boosted lab monkey home and raises him in his home. Caesar (played by an amazingly effective motion-captured Andy Serkis) is the most empathetic character in the film – so when he is put in a nasty ape sanctuary and abused it pulls at the heartstrings. In fact I was still rooting for him when he’d managed to assemble of like-minded apes and was battling the authorities.

Rise of the Planet of the Apes as the name suggests is the prequel to Planet of the Apes, not necessarily the Tim Burton effort either. Taking Franklin J. Schaffner's 1968 sci-fi classic as the starting point – director Rupert Wyatt ditches the original’s blatant racism metaphor and goes for a more action thriller build up. The cast which includes John Lithgow as Will’s Alzheimer's afflicted father do all they can but it is the monkey business that you’ll go home talking about.

It’s very well done too – the special effects are eye poppingly impressive and the action scenes rousing. The apes are going down well in the States where this has just become the fourth biggest August film opening ever.

"They may take our bananas - but they'll never take our FREEDOM!"

Rise of the Planet of the Apes is a great fun film – it delivers big time on entertainment and stands out amongst the glut of action flicks hitting this screen this summer by being the only one I really can’t wait to see follow made for.

Here we are then, human, top of the food chain (at least until the sequel) and what have we achieved? Well, on the strength of this - it looks like it might not be too long before the apes get their act together enough to make an exciting film about their own destruction and then pay money to watch it. But hey, until then let’s revel in the fact that we beat them to it!

Out of a potential 5 you have to go with a Darkmatters:

öööö

(4 - quality monkey business that needs to be seen)...

Awesomeness öööö – very cool human / ape interaction

Laughs öö – not a laugh riot but a few funnies

Horror ööö – things get a bit hairy

Babes öö – average female mate possibilities

Spiritual Enlightenment ööö - maybe we should keep the intelligence to ourselves?

"Freida Pinto - scientifically approved great legs!"

Darkmatters Review: SUPER 8

Super 8 (12)

Dir. J.J. Abrams

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

How about a major homage to blockbuster science fiction films of Steven Spielberg which, proves that when imitating greatness, a little of the magic can rub off on a new generation.

With Super 8, J.J. ‘Star Trek’ Abrams takes us back to the idyllic summer of 1979 where a group of friends in a small Ohio town witness a catastrophic train crash while making a fun amateur super 8 movie.

The thing is – the crash was not an accident and something very nasty has escaped from the wreckage. Cue unusual disappearances and inexplicable events beginning to take place across the town, as the local populace get involved in some serious close encounters…

The cool cast of kids taking the lead - featuring the star crossed crush of average teen Joe (newcomer Joel Courtney) son of the local deputy sheriff and Alice (the beguilingly talented Elle ‘Somewhere’ Fanning) daughter of the local bad boy, the stage is set for some heart warming sci-fi thrills. Joe and Alice's chaste romance feels natural and evokes the feel captured by last year’s Let Me In. These are kids who it is fun just to be around.

"teen romance from different sides of the tracks"

Think Goonies mixed with Close Encounters of the Third Kind and, throw in some great references to films from across the genres and you’ve got the winning recipe for a new breed of classic.

With Spielberg producing it is no surprise to have the heart strings tugged. The set up of young Joe, struggling to come to terms with being left in the custody of his busy dad Jack (Kyle Chandler) after his mother dies, provides the emotional backdrop to the alien monster-em-up action.

The tension is expertly built up at first when the creature is kept mostly unseen – one particular scene of a gas station being attacked shot from behind a big rotating advertisement is a work of cinematic genius.

The alien is revealed before the end and whilst it is nicely realised with good CGi work, it doesn’t quite stand out as a creature that will be remembered as a cinematic icon.

Super 8 is great, not too nasty so that it can be enjoyed by a wide audience and packing plenty of fun alongside the tension and action scenes.

Oh and don’t leave before the credits either as you get to witness the whole of the kids’ super 8 zombie movie which will send you home with a big smile on your face.

Out of a potential 5 you have to go with a Darkmatters:

öööö1/2

(4.5 - Strong future classic vibe here)...

Awesomeness öööö – plenty of very cool stuff on offer

Laughs ööö – some real joy inspiring moments

Horror öö – a few grim bits but nothing too bad

Babes ööö – Fanning is likely to turn out ok

Spiritual Enlightenment ööö - don't presume evil (even in aliens who eat you)

"Elle Fanning is in fashion - in Marie Claire last month"

Darkmatters Review: Cars 2

Cars 2 (U)

Dir. John Lasseter, Brad Lewis

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

“This is agent Leeland Turbo. I have a flash transmission for agent Finn McMissile, my cover's been compromised. Everything's gone pear-shaped. You won't believe what I've found out here. This is bigger than anything we've ever seen…”

Bbrrrrmmmm, yes the cars are back on the big screen and this time the stakes have been raised. It’s not just speed that counts now, but in the face of a dangerous international plot – the heroes will need gadgets and weapons if they are to survive.

Disney / PIXAR studios have a fantastic track record when it comes to creating brilliant animated films. So the pressure to create a worthy follow up to their excellent Cars (which is the film that has made them the most cash to date thanks to the millions of toys it has sold) has yielded a sequel but is it any good?

In a word ‘yes’ the creative team have managed to effectively inject some decent action thrills to the racing formula. This time Mater (Larry the Cable Guy) and his best mate Lightning McQueen (Owen Wilson) get drawn into a deadly conspiracy involving a new bio-fuel. Luckily top British secret agent Finn McMissile (Michael Caine) and his sexy sidekick Holly Shiftwell (Emily Mortimer) are on hand to help.

There is plenty of slapstick danger thanks to an evil genius who has assembled an army of ‘Lemons’ – clunker cars that are fed up with always breaking down… When Mater inadvertently gets tagged with holding some secret photos he becomes the world’s least likely spy car – equipped with rotary cannons and nitro boosters.

I was a bit worried that the gunplay and secret agent high-jinks wouldn’t work with the Cars characters but the look of sheer joy on my youngest son’s face as he witnessed them won me over. Sir Michael Caine is excellent as the lead British super agent and bags lots of the best lines.

Lightening McQueen’s relationship with Mater forms the emotional heart of the film, which again triumphs friendship over everything else.
The automobile animations are unbelievably shiny and there are lots of nice film references and in jokes to keep the adults amused as the family friendly action rocks along to a satisfying climax.

Cars 2 might not be an original vintage model but it is an exciting new addition to the range and one that you should certainly consider taking for a spin this Summer!

Out of a potential 5 you have to go with a Darkmatters:

ööö1/2

(3.5 - shiny Summer speedster fun)...

Awesomeness ööö – when Mater breaks out his guns the audience cheered!

Laughs ööö – enough to raise some chuckles

Horror ö – mild peril anyone?

Babes öö – nice bodywork on some models!?

Spiritual Enlightenment ööö - bio fuel can save your soul?

"Holly Shiftwell by name..."

Darkmatters Review: SUPER

SUPER (18)

Dir. James Gunn

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

“Shut Up Crime!!”

There comes a time when society pushes people too far. When someone snaps and decides to stand up to the rampant crime and sheer injustice…

That man is KICK ASS, no wait, that was last year…

That man is The Crimson Bolt (Rainn Wilson) also known as big time loser Frank D’Arbo. Franks a religious guy whose had a rubbish life – he has just two moments that he’s been proud of ‘his golden moments’ one was when he tipped off a policeman as which way a robber ran, and the other was his wedding day to his unfeasibly hot wife, Sarah (Liv Tyler).

One day Sarah leaves Frank for a slick pimp / drug dealer called Jacques (a nicely slimy Kevin Bacon). It triggers a breakdown / psychosis in Frank who sees a vision of the ‘finger of God’ touch his brain and answers what he believes to be calls of a ultra fundamentalist religious TV show starring a saintly superhero The Holy Avenger (Nathan ‘Serenity / Firefly’ Fillion) to take the fight to evil… So “The Crimson Bolt” is born with a mission to take the fight to evil with his battle cry of “SHUT UP CRIME!”

"Ellen page = hot sidekick Boltie"

Director James Gunn cameos as ‘Demonswill’ – Holy Avenger’s nemesis and has a blast in trying to lead teens into sexual promiscuity and general debauchery. But the film is totally stolen by the Crimson Bolt’s sexy sidekick ‘Boltie’ otherwise known as Libby (Ellen ‘Inception’ Page channelling the spirit of a sexed up older ‘Hit Girl’)… She throws all inhibitions aside and delivers a performance that has ‘iconic’ written all over it.

Super is an edgy and supremely ‘wrong’ film – not for anyone who can’t deal with darkest possible humour and grim violence. Several critics seem to have seriously missed the point – moaning about how Super isn’t a Kick Ass 2. I’d just say that Super works as more twisted comic sidepiece to Kick Ass, same genre, very different films.

Challenging, heartfelt and scattershot – Super is a film that doesn’t know any boundaries and is all the better for it. Do the words ‘cult classic’ mean anything to you?

Out of a potential 5 you have to go with a Darkmatters:

öööö

(4 - over the edge and spewing black fumes)...

Awesomeness öööö – seriously awesome in places

Laughs öööö – very funny but worryingly wrong

Horror öööö – disturbing stuff ahoy

Babes öööö – hot sidekick action

Spiritual Enlightenment öööö - touched by the hand of God

"everyone needs a sidekick"

Darkmatters Review: BRIDESMAIDS

Bridesmaids (15)

Dir. Paul Feig

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

If The Hangover and Wedding Crashers had a female offspring it would probably look a lot like Bridesmaids… Sexy, wrong and very funny – this shows that when it comes to foul-mouthed, laugh out loud toilet humour – the girls can bring it every bit as well as the boys.

Bridesmaids tells the tale of Annie (Kristen Wiig), a mid life woman who is picked by her best friend Lillian (Maya Rudolph) to be her maid of honor. Annie however has been unlucky in love and business – her life is steadily falling apart which makes it hard for her to be happy for her newly engaged pal who seems to have everything that she does not.

Things get worse when Annie meets the rest of the bridesmaids, there’s - rich and hot new wannabe BFF for Lillian, Helen (Rose Byrne), large and OTT Megan (Melissa McCarthy), blonde cougar Rita (Wendi McLendon-Covey) and repressed wife Becca (Ellie Kemper).

This oddball crew of females embark on a wild ride of preparation for Lillian’s big day. Along the way we get some seriously raucous female-centric crass humour – sex, vomit and bitchiness are on the menu and it works a treat. Bridesmaids wipes the floor with The Hangover 2 and comes away as this year’s best comedy so far.

Director Paul ‘The U.S. Office’ Feig works producer Judd Aptow’s patented high-octane comedy vibe to perfection. So if you enjoyed Superbad et al then have no fear in stepping out with these Bridesmaids – and it works as a date movie too.

The showing I saw this at had an audience that must have been about 90% female – a ratio I haven’t seen since Twilight!? And whilst the few blokes there were certainly laughing heartily, they weren’t the ones singing along with Wilson Philip’s cameo singing of Hold On – which was reminiscent of audience participation from Mamma Mia…

Annie is a great lead character – flawed and yet a heroine it is easy to want to see succeed, she wears some mean Victoria's Secret skimpy underwear too. Even the lesser roles add comedy value – e.g. nice to see Matt ‘Little Britain’ Lucas popping up as Annie’s odd roommate.

In the end it’s the competitive battle between Annie and Helen as to who is Lillian’s best friend that escalates into a insane battle of one-upmanship that will leave you laughing all the way home.

Out of a potential 5 you have to go with a Darkmatters:

öööö

(4 - flirty, filthy, funny - these girls will amuse you big time)...

Awesomeness öööö – more awesome than the Hangover boys!

Laughs öööö – very funny funnies

Horror ööö – gross out 'bad tummy' scene you'll never forget

Babes ööö – check these Bridesmaids out!

Spiritual Enlightenment ööö – follow your heart?

Darkmatters Review: Green Lantern

Green Lantern (12a)

Dir. Martin Campbell

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

“In brightest day, in blackest night,
No evil shall escape my sight
Let those who worship evil's might,
Beware my power... Green Lantern's light!”

Thank you for you interest in the position of ‘Green Lantern’, I am sending you additional information about what the role entails but have to inform you that we have made an initial offer to another candidate ‘Hal Jordan’.

Being a Green Lantern means that you are chosen to wield a power ring that can generate a variety of effects, sustained purely by the ring wearer's imagination and strength of will. Anything you can think of can be made real using a the ring’s incredible ‘hard light construct’ ability. Of course the greater the user's willpower, the more effective the ring.

Now for the first time since records began a human has been chosen to be a Green Lantern.

Hal Jordan (played by Ryan Reynolds) is your average smug all American test pilot who lives his life by the seat of his pants. His life is changed beyond belief then a dying alien crashes to earth and chooses him to take over as the new Green Lantern. Before you can say ‘that’s not very likely’ he’s packing a crazy looking CGI bodysuit and being trained in the art of battling intergalactic enemies with his power ring.

D.C. Comics are hoping that Green Lantern can become a new superhero franchise and have thrown a massive budget at this effort. Alas the result isn’t quite the ‘Dark Knight’ sized block buster that I guess they were banking on – because while Green Lantern is a fun sci-fi superhero romp, it is also extremely forgettable.

Director Martin ‘Casino Royale’ Campbell brings a workmanlike result to the big screen – packed with dazzling special effects but hampered by a confusing sci-fi mythos and slightly stupid plot.

Reynolds is fine (my wife certainly appreciated his CGI enhanced buttocks) but even with a game supporting cast including a scenery chewing Peter Sarsgaard who becomes a freaky nemesis for the Green Lantern there just aren’t quite enough thrills to go round.

There is potential for a hinted at sequel to build on this origin tale – but that all depends on box office returns. So check it if you want to enjoy another quick hero fix because Green Lantern is pretty much on a par with Marvel’s Thor but just don’t expect to be blown away.

Out of a potential 5 you have to go with a Darkmatters:

ööö

(3 - super effects, not so super overall)...

Awesomeness ööö – couple of decent set pieces

Laughs öö – some funnies

Horror ööö – some grim bits for a '12'

Babes ööö – Blake Lively is hot

Spiritual Enlightenment ööö – step up and save your planet!

"Blake Lively provides the sizzle..."