Darkmatters Review: The A-Team

The A-Team (12A)

Dir. Joe Carnahan

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

One year ago, an elite commando unit was sent to prison for a crime they didn't commit. These men promptly escaped from a maximum security facility. Today, still wanted by the government they survive as soldiers for hire. If you have a problem, if no one else can help, if you can find them, maybe you can hire... the A-Team.

Movie goers of a certain age will undoubtedly bring fond memories of Saturday evenings spent watching Colonel John "Hannibal" Smith and his A-Team helping oppressed people, building tanks out of spare parts and generally righting wrongs like modern day Robin Hoods (packing automatic weaponry).

Now the their are back – reincarnated into leader Hannibal (Liam Neeson), charmer Templeton "Faceman" Peck (Bradley Cooper), bruiser Bosco B.A. Baracus (Quinton 'Rampage' Jackson) and crazy H.M. "Howling Mad" Murdock (Sharlto Copley).

The new A-Team aren’t Nam vets, these are guys are straight out of Iraq where they were framed for a crime and promptly banged up. Six months later Hannibal breaks them out and vows revenge on whoever set them up who include a nefarious black ops crew led by boo hiss bad guy Pike (Brian Bloom). The CIA is also after the A-Team and could prove to be an even greater threat thanks to Lynch (Patrick Wilson) who wants to see them go down for their supposed crimes. Jessica Biel is on hand to be the hard nosed military Lieutenant also tasked with finding and bringing in them in but she has a history with Face whose good looks and swagger might just be enough to sway her emotions.

Director Joe ‘Smokin Aces’ Carnahan delivers lots of bang for your buck with some truly audacious action set pieces that include planes, tanks and a stunning cargo transporter ship climax. Sure the plot is fairly feeble but there are more than enough fights, chases, stunts, wise cracks and laugh out loud moments to make up for it.

My two sons proclaimed The A-Team to be the “coolest film of the year so far” so there may soon be a new generation of fans won over. Older watchers should be sure to check out the after credits scene where original series actors Dirk Benedict (Face) and Dwight Schultz (Murdock) make fun cameos.

The A-Team might be stupid and completely over the top but in the end you just have to go with it and say "I love it when a plan comes together".

UNSEEN DELETED SCENE:

The A-Team are challenged to go up against The Losers and The Expendables (seeing it this week)... utter carnage ensues but the A-Team walk away triumphant - because let's face it - they never get shot!!

Darkmatters rating: ööööööö (7 pity the fools out of 10)

Darkmatters quick reference guide:
Action 8
Style 7
Babes 6
Comedy 7
Horror 4
Spiritual Enlightenment 4

Darkmatters Review: DeathSpank

DeathSpank PS3 (download from PSN)

Publisher: Electronic Arts

Developer: Hothead Games

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

For uncounted years gamers have waited for the one known as ‘the wanderer’ - the Dispenser of Justice, the Vanquisher of Evil, and all round Hero to the Downtrodden.

Now he has arrived and his name is, erm, ‘DeathSpank’!?

DeathSpank is an action adventure game like no other, for a start you can grab it for under a tenner and download it in about 10 mins. Once installed on your hard drive DeathSpank has the power to take over your life and suck you in to a quest for a powerful artifact called... ‘The Artifact’. This item was forged by unknown hands for unknown purposes at some unknown time in the past, but be that as it may, The Artifact is now potentially within DeathSpank’s reach, but just what is The Artifact? And who is that shady tyrant who also seeks it?

So far, so generic for a role playing game plot but DeathSpank is blessed with killer sharp writing from the mind of Ron ‘Monkey Island’ Gilbert coupled with a madcap script that kicks all kind of butt.
Basically DeathSpank is a brutal blast of hack-n-slash fun from start to finish. Cute, crisp cartoon graphics depict the bloodshed that Itchy and Scratchy would be proud of. Multiple weapons (each mapped to one of the controller’s buttons) that range from swords, axes, bats, crossbows and giant punching gloves – most of which come with their own flavour filled twists e.g. spinning swords that can take on multiple enemies, hammers that can stun foes etc…

The game is designed with pick up and play in mind, you can co-op with a friend which is very satisfying – and lends a nice element of strategy and tactics. The combat is brilliant – just as good as the recent Demon’s Souls which itself raised the bar, except DeathSpank does it without the hair-tearingly imposing difficulty level.

"I am DeathSpank... wearer of the purple thong of justice!"

Everything about DeathSpank is well crafted. Levelling up sees you pick a ‘skill card’ from a deck that offers increased speed, higher damage – melee or ranged, better cash hauls from fallen foes… The choice is yours and it feels great. The gameplay just keeps on giving, be it getting ‘felt’ by a merchant or shooting hundreds of chickens (to eat their drumsticks as a health perk and get the ‘Slayer of Chickens’ Trophy). If you’ve ever enjoyed adventuring on any level. you’ll laugh, you’ll whoop and you’ll realise that DeathSpank was a great investment.

DeathSpank is a super addictive game that stand tall in the shadow of the masterful Diablo – hacking evil in all sorts of shapes and sizes to death, levelling up and looting treasure hasn’t been this much fun for a long time! Highly recommended!!

Darkmatters rating: öööööööö (8 satisfying PS3 spanks out of 10)

Darkmatters hearts Let Me In - Trailer

Choose to 'Let The Right One In'... if you dare!?

Darkmatters loves Let The Right One In

But will the US remake 'Let Me In' do justice to the classic original?

Today a new trailer hit along with the rather cool posters above and below.

Have a look and see what you think...

"Beware young vampire girl (Chloe Moretz)"

"She has form for blood letting after all - did you see Kick Ass!?"

Matt Adcock 

Darkmatters Review: Toy Story 3

Toy Story 3 (U)

Dir. Lee Unkrich

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

Prepare to go to infinity and beyond – one more time… And I’m delighted to report that the genius’s at Disney / Pixar have saved the best trip till last.

Yee-haw… the toys are here, Woody (Tom Hanks) - the friendliest cowboy buddy you’ll ever need, Jessie (Joan Cusack) - the roughest, toughest cowgirl in the whole west and Bullseye their loyal steed. There’s also Rex (Wallace Shawn), the most terrifying dinosaur who ever lived, Potato Heads both Mr (Don Rickles) and Mrs Estelle Harris) varieties, Slinky Dog (Blake Clark) and Hamm (John Ratzenberger) the pig AKA Evil Dr Porkchop! But my personal favourite is Buzz Lightyear (Tim Allen), the coolest toy ever! He can fly, oh, and shoot lasers!

This rag tag gang of toys have come into Andy’s possession over the first two films and have braved some truly excellent adventures. Now the fateful time has come with Andy being 17 and off to college the future looks bleak for these old school toys in the age of videogames, iPods and online distractions…

Woody gets picked to accompany Andy to college for nostalgia value but for the others it’s a one way trip to the attic. Things don’t quite work out that way though and before you can say ‘is this the end for our beloved heroes?’ the group are trapped in a community nursery where they have ‘a playdate with destiny’. Sunnyside Daycare you see is run by an evil strawberry-scented bear named Lotso (Ned Beatty) who puts the new arrivals into the early years room where they get badly mistreated.

Who will survive and what will be left of them? It’s an absolute blast finding out, especially with stand out scenes involving Buzz getting switching into ‘Spanish Mode’, Ken (from the Barbie toy line) doing a fashion show and a nail-biting frantic battle to escape being incinerated.

By the emotional end of Toy Story 3, my youngest son was in tears and everyone in the cinema seemed stunned by what they had witnessed. The CGI is an artistic masterpiece – here seamlessly blended into 3D which adds depth but doesn’t distract as it does in lesser films. There are few truly ‘all age’ films out there which can appeal and engage to anyone from 3 to 103 but Toy Story sets a fantastic new benchmark for entertainment excellence. See it, love it, see it again!!

UNSEEN DELETED SCENE:

The toys get zapped into an alternate reality by evil emperor Zurg... And find themselves in Shrek's swamp - where they have to battle the ogre in order to see which will be the biggest grossing animated film series of all time!

Darkmatters rating: öööööööööö (10 quality emotional payloads out of 10)

Darkmatters quick reference guide: Action 8 / Style 9 / Babes 6 / Comedy 8 / Horror 4 / Spiritual Enlightenment 8

Check out a review of the Toy Story 3 game here (Telegraph)

Darkmatters hearts Scott Pilgrim... It brings the 'awesome'

Scott Pilgrim - Matt Adcock's film of 2010?

Check out this new epic clip of epic epicness:

Movie Trailers - Movies Blog

"read em - the graphic novels are EPIC too!"

Darkmatters Review: Chloe

Chloe (15)

Dir. Atom Egoyan

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

Atom Egoyan makes classy, cool films and with Chloe he turns his talent towards remaking Anna Fontaine’s 2003 thriller ‘Nathalie’ – a tale of seduction, betrayal, lust and danger.
Chloe ditches the action from France and sets this sordid adultery-em-up in Toronto (Canada is big in 2010 with Scott Pilgrim hitting soon too). Anyway, here we have Chloe (Amanda ‘Mamma Mia’ Seyfried) – she’s an escort well versed in the art of pleasuring men for a price.

Julianne Moore plays Catherine Stewart, a middle age woman who thinks her tutor husband David (Liam Neeson) might be giving his pretty young students a bit more personal tuition than necessary… Her suspicions are heightened when he fails to make a surprise birthday party due to missing his plane home and the fact that we always clicks off the IM conversation he has with his female students whenever she enters his room. Is he slipping it to his students or is Catherine being mentally jealous and imagining things?

The only way to know for sure seems to be to pay the hot n sexy Chloe to try and seduce David – so before you can say ‘it will end in tears’ – that is exactly what Catherine does. Needless to say that things don’t work out exactly as planned and it isn’t long before a lust fuelled love triangle has been created – Chloe you see is happy to please women as well as guys.

"Hot but deadly??"

Director Egoyan who made the excellent ‘Exotica’ which explored the schoolgirl / stripper dynamic through the gorgeous Mia Kirshner, here works a similar trick with the high class prostitute theme using Seyfried. Some people might think she looks like the bastard daughter of ET and Marilyn Monroe – wide / bug eyed coupled with long neck and awesome bod but she sure knows how to work it. The sight of a naked Seyfried going at it hammer and tongs with Julianne Moore is quite something, if you like that idea then the chances are you’ll like Chloe!?

Of course there’s more than girl on girl action to be found here – and once things go south we get the increasingly unhinged Chloe start going for seducing Catherine’s teenage son (Max Thieriot – who looks like he can’t believe his luck when Seyfried takes him to bed). Yes in the end there are moral and life lessons hammered home but overall it’s a erotic bit of fluff thriller that’s easy on the eye.

Chloe is worth watching if you’re a fan of erotic thrillers, older women / young women getting to know each other in special ways or just Amanda Seyfried who’s frankly never looked better.

Darkmatters rating: öööööööö (8 disturbed foxy call girls out of 10)

Darkmatters Review: Trucker

Trucker (15)

Dir. James Mottern

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

Trucking onto DVD is hard boiled Diane Ford (Michelle ‘Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang’ Monaghan), a sexy, no nonsense and successful independent truck driver, whose life is the open road. This is a powerful insight into the world of long-haul trucking, one night stands and all-night drinking that is the existence of those who drive through the night so we can buy the stuff we want from the stores nationwide…
Diane has thing going with ‘Runner’ (Nathan ‘Serenity’ Fillion) and all is fine and dandy until the evening her estranged 11-year-old son, Peter (Jimmy ‘young James Kirk in Star Trek’ Bennett) unexpectedly shows up.

Young Peter hasn't had any contact with his mother since birth and isn’t thrilled about having to fit into her life now but has no choice with his father Len (Benjamin Bratt) in hospital. Can Diane give up her life of sex, freedom and trucking and be the mother that Peter needs? "Bitch" is his term of reference for his newly reacquainted mother… He plays hard to impress – making her life hard by running off, making unreasonable demands etc but eventually there comes to be an understanding between the two.

 

"What do truckers wear when on long hauls??"

Monaghan is excellent and delivers a powerhouse performance, she makes you feel her battle for independence and the confused hurt inside. Trucker isn’t an easy film to watch but it is a good one.


Darkmatters rating: ööööööö (7 empowered female road-eaters out of 10)

Darkmatters Review: Inception

Inception (12)

Dir. Christopher Nolan

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

“What's the most resilient parasite?

…An Idea.

A single idea from the human mind can build cities.

An idea can transform the world and rewrite all the rules.“

Prepare yourself for Inception, potentially the most exciting, brain frying, pleasure-inducing film you’ll see this year. Here’s my review:

Inception is EXCELLENT, EXCELLENT, EXCELLENT, EXCELLENT, EXCELLENT, EXCELLENT, EXCELLENT, EXCELLENT, EXCELLENT, EXCELLENT, EXCELLENT, EXCELLENT, EXCELLENT, EXCELLENT, EXCELLENT, EXCELLENT! I could go on but hopefully you get the idea…

Christopher ‘Dark Knight’ Nolan is probably the greatest Director working at the moment – his films have been a string of superbly dark, boundary pushing adventures. Memento, Insomnia, Batman Begins, The Prestige and of course Dark Knight… and now Inception which for my money is right up there with his very best.

"someone is going to DIE..."

Imagine The Matrix version 2.0 – a super spy story that takes place inside the mind. Dom Cobb (Leonardo DiCaprio) is the best of ‘dream thief’ – a guy who can enter people’s dreams and extract their thoughts. But after a double cross situation gets out of control, Cobb is hired to do something that many deem impossible: rather then steal a thought, he has to insert an idea into someone’s mind – a procedure called ‘Inception’.

Caution – in for maximum enjoyment you’ll really need to engage your brain - as this is no thoughtless popcorn movie, Inception is a high brow, endorphin pumping rush of pure imagination.
The worlds of Robert Fischer, Jr. (Cillian Murphy)’s subconscious where Cobb and his crack team must venture are fantastic creations. Each level changes from the grim rainy cityscape which sees one of the best shoot-outs of modern cinema through to an arctic military station that houses the vault of the mind. The cinematography is stunning, whilst the special effects are utterly epic and will literally leave you reeling from the overpowering creativity wrought on screen.

Cobb’s team include his right hand man Arthur (Joseph Gordon-Levit), the lovely Ariadne (a never better Ellen Page), Eames (Tom Hardy) and Yusuf (Dileep Rao) – all of whom get moments to shine. Also on hand are powerful business mogul Saito (Ken Watanabe) and there is sterling support from Michael Caine and Tom Berenger. Marion Cotillard plays Cobbs wife ‘Mal’ – a dangerously unstable figure who haunts his dreams and threatens to wreck his mission.

"The girl of your dreams... literally"

Everything about Inception is fantastic – very cool, kick-ass action, deep mind twisting plot, awesome special effects. You owe it to yourself to see this film!!

UNSEEN DELETED SCENE:

Neo from The Matrix turns up in one of the mindscapes and challenges Cobb to a zero gravity duel... It gets all kinds of awesome!?

Darkmatters rating: öööööööööö (10 awesome mind trips out of 10)

Darkmatters quick reference guide: Action 9 / Style 9 / Babes 8 / Comedy 6 / Horror 7 / Spiritual Enlightenment 5

Darkmatters Review: Cargo

Cargo (12)

Dir. Ivan Engler and Ralph Etter

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

Fancy a trip to the year 2267? Things have gone a bit downhill over the next 250 odd years…You may not be completely surprised to learn that earth has been rendered uninhabitable thanks to our global warming efforts. As a result we now have to live on space ships (in cryo sleep) or huge space stations which serve as staging posts in the many light year journey to Rhea, a utopian paradise / new earth where life is good.

Getting to Rhea isn’t cheap though and for Dr Laura Portman (Anna Katharina ‘might have seen her in German cop show Tatort’ Schwabroh), her dream of getting a ticket depends on her taking a mission aboard the intergalactic cargo ship ‘Kassandra’. But in space, no one can hear you scream “haven’t I seen this before?” which is just as well as Cargo treads a well worn path in the vein of Alien or Sunshine. At least the filmmakers are copying from the best! Whilst we’re talking about ‘borrowed’ ideas – it won’t take you long to Rhea-lise that the central premise about Rhea is ripped right out of The Matrix (again – not necessarily a bad thing).

So we get some very nice special effects, a brooding big spaceship which holds dark secrets and possible threats, escalating crew tensions and violence – basically exactly what good science fiction fans demand. And although it is suitably harsh and gripping for the first hour, the pace and plot somewhat disappear into a black hole of mediocrity towards the end, which is a shame because if I’d written up this review half way through I’d be hailing Cargo as the Swiss new ‘Moon’.

Directors Ivan Engler and Ralph Etter are definitely ones to watch and sci-fi nuts will find much to enjoy here – not least the exceptional visuals which put to shame many bigger budgeted films.

Providing you’re a fan of sub-titled films, Cargo is a film to savour and should be applauded for adding a decent entry into the more ‘serious’ sci-fi cannon.

Cargo’s brilliance might burn out before the standard jeopardy ending but it’s good to see an ambitious new space mystery burst onto the scene and put a marker down for Swiss films!


Darkmatters rating: ööööööö (7 frosty space voids out of 10)

Darkmatters hearts Bruce Willis

Now I love Bruce Willis... more than most - and just had to share this awesome mash up video montage / homage track!!


I'm Bruce Willis from wreckandsalvage on Vimeo.


Darkmatters lists Matt Adcock's top 5 Bruce Willis films

Darkmatters lists Matt Adcock's top Bruce Willis quotes

Read when I got to meet Bruce Willis

Darkmatters Review: Predators

Predators (15)

Dir. Nimrod Antal

Reviewed by Matt Adcock (@cleric20)

“This planet is a game reserve. And we're the game...”

If you were around in 1987 – there were some great films released including Robocop, The Princess Bride and The Untouchables – but there was also ‘Predator’ which saw John ‘Die Hard’ McTiernan drop Arnold Schwarzenegger into the sights of an unstoppable alien hunter and let all hell break loose in a sweaty jungle. Predator was a kick-ass sci-fi action romp, the inevitable sequel couldn’t match it and then the Alien vs Predator films came along and pretty much killed the franchise. But it seems that you can’t keep a good seven foot, dreadlocked alien hunter / killer down and now they are back in ‘Predators’.

Talent wise we’re in the capable hands of Roger ‘Sin City’ Rodriguez who produces and Director Nimrod ‘Kontroll’ Antal who wisely keep the action focus very much in the feel of the original. Rather than a Predator coming to earth to hunt, this time a motley crew of dangerous characters find themselves dropped onto an alien planet – as live prey for the Predators to hunt.

The earthlings are led by Royce (Adrien Brody stepping into his first action hero role) – he’s an ex-military gun for hire but has leadership skills which might just help the rag-tag bunch have some chance of survival. Also on the Predators menu are a babe - Isabelle (Alice Braga), a meathead heavy weapons expert - Nicolai (Oleg Taktarov), a shady doctor - Edwin (Topher Grace) and a Yakuza – Hanzo (Louis Ozawa Changchien. Also on hand is Lawrence Fishburne as Noland - a survivor who has some secrets about the Predators… There are others but the ‘who will die next’ plot cuts a swathe through them pretty fast, these Predators don’t mess about when it comes to thinning out the pack.

New to the Predator clan include a ‘Black Super Predator’, some horned alien hunting dogs and a falcon tracking creature, all of which shift the balance of power ever more in favour away from the humans. The special effects are great, there is lots of blood split – both human and green glowing Predator – and the sense of menace as the hunt ramps up is tangible. When I hear the ‘clicking’ noise the Predators make by way of battle cry I always smile because my wife can perfectly make the same noise after watching me play Alien vs Predator on the PS3!

The supporting cast

Brody does a good enough job in the lead, eschewing the wisecracks of Arnie for a more brooding angst which suits the new film’s less jokey mood. The new characters however just don’t evoke the same amount of buy-in and it’s hard to be too gutted when they get their spinal cords ripped from them or are blasted by the Predator laser weaponry.

Predators is a good addition to the series and will please everyone who enjoyed the original.

UNSEEN DELETED SCENE:

An undead Arnie from the first Predator film is found on the Predators game planet - he's kept by the Predators as a tame pet plaything...

Darkmatters rating: öööööööö (8 cool alien hunters out of 10)

Darkmatters quick reference guide: Action 8 / Style 7 / Babes 5 / Comedy 5 / Horror 7 / Spiritual Enlightenment 2

WIN SOME COOL PREDATORS STUFF... CLICK HERE

Check out another review here (Film Shaft)

Imagine a world where the earth is becoming hell?

Click below to find out about my dark sci-fi novel...

Darkmatters Predators - Hunt or Die Competition

Darkmatters Predators - Hunt or Die Competition

Predators hits the UK today, and to celebrate, the lovely people at FOX have given us some awesome Predators merchandise for you to win.

Predator fans know that these alien bad boys pack some serious laser weaponry... and now you can too (well  a Laser Target Designator at least).

The Laser Target Designator built into a Predator’s bio mask is the ultimate tool for targeting prey, but in conjunction with the bio mask’s computer system can also be a helpful guide for distance and scale, too.

Here's what you need to do if you're a UK resident and want some Predator goodies:

Question: "When a Predator has you in its sights, how many ominous red laser lights appear on you?"

Send your answer along with a one line piece of dialogue that you'd say if you found a Predator laser target sight on you... to: darkmatters@another.com

"Predators Swag - could be yours soon - best answers = best prizes"

This competition runs until 01 Aug 2010 - editors decision is final.

Check out Matt Adcock's Darkmatters Predators review

Darkmatters Review:Twilight Saga Eclipse

The Twilight Saga: Eclipse (12)

Dir. David Slade

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

A life strangling Twilight falls on the cinema again this week but there is a glimmer of light in the up until now turgid and overly hyped femi-centric swoon-em-up vampire / human / wolf love triangle.

Following the forgettable New Moon, Director David ‘I used to be credible – no really I made Hard Candy and 30 Days of Night’ Slade does manage to bring at least five minutes of action to this third but unfortunately not final entry in the Twilight Saga.

For those who aren’t planning to see Eclipse i.e. most blokes out there, here is a quick overview:
Bella (Kristen Stewart), meets sparkly skinned vampire Edward (Robert Pattinson) and falls in love, but she’s confused when she meets hunky werewolf Jacob (Taylor Lautner). Who does she love more from these two make believe mortal enemies? Well after two films of deliberating she’s not really any the wiser this time and indeed snogs them both again just to try and help make her mind up. Cue endless heart-searching, swooning, long lingering looks and cheesy dialogue including the classic line “I am hotter than you” from warm blooded Jacob to undead and hence ‘cold’ Edward.

"are you thinking about wolfing, is that like dogging?"

The Twilight series is a massive phenomenon, tapping into the romantic longings of teen girls the world over, and it’s not only young girls as my schoolteacher cousin Anne is a signed up member of the ‘Team Edward’ fanclub. The melodrama on offer in this third movie has been ramped up to scary proportions – which is just as well as the evil baddie vampire Victoria (Bryce Dallas Howard) is about as scary as a teletubby. Vic is still annoyed at Bella and Edward for killing her brother James in the first film and she recruits an ‘army’ of newbie vampires, (more powerful and dangerous than any vamp whose been undead more than a year apparently). With their love interest in potential peril Edward and Jacob must unite their vampire / werewolf clans to fight side by side against this new menace.

I say ‘menace’ but come the big showdown the newbie vamp army looks for all the world like a bunch of random charity collection muggers and their ‘threat’ is laughable when the big butch wolves get their teeth into them. Don’t worry it’s all bloodless, the only sight of any blood is when Bella intentionally pricks her finger and wipes in on some bushes to lead a scent trail… This goes against everything most vampire or werewolf films normally deliver (and Director Slade did so well in his very bloody excellent 30 Days of Night vampire tale).

"ok - let's split up and raise some cash for good causes"

But I fear I’m not the target market for this soppiest of ‘horror’ films – it isn’t that Eclipse is a terrible movie, it’s just that it’s not exciting enough and the truly scary things is that there are still two more books to be made into films!!

UNSEEN DELETED SCENE:

The vampires from 30 Days of Night turn up and beat the crap out of Edward for being such a wuss...

Darkmatters rating: öööööö (6 toothless vampires out of 10)

Darkmatters quick reference guide: Action 5 / Style 6 / Babes 7 / Comedy 5 / Horror 5 / Spiritual Enlightenment 1

Check out another review here (Spirituality)

Darkmatters Review: Shrek Forever After (The Final Chapter)

Shrek Forever After (PG)

Dir. Mike Mitchell

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

This is the end of the road, the last hurrah, the green stops here – yes, it’s finally ogre… The good news is that Shrek Forever After (also known as Shrek: The Final Chapter on some of the posters) brings the much loved and massively box-office friendly Shrek series to a decent end.

New the Shrek-verse is director Mike ‘ Sky High’ Mitchell and he takes Shrek (Mike Myers) to a place that older viewers will be able to relate to – his midlife crisis. Think ‘American Beauty’ just bigger and greener with our hero feeling trapped in his ‘perfect’ marriage to the feisty Fiona (Cameron Diaz). Shrek longs for past days when he was feared by the townsfolk and free to terrorise, mud bath and generally exercise his inner ogre at will. The day to day grind of a highly domesticated existence sees Shrek make a foolhardy magical deal with the devious Rumpelstiltskin (Walt Dohrn), who has a longstanding grudge against him.

The alternate reality in which Shrek finds himself is a place where he never met Fiona, doesn’t know Donkey (Eddie Murphy) and hasn’t settled down. To make matters worse Stitskin has made himself king of Far Far Away and if Shrek doesn’t find a way to make Fiona fall in love with him again before sunrise – his very existence will be deleted from history.
So with the clock ticking and his former allies either not knowing him or in Puss in Boots’ (Antonio Banderas) case – so fat and lazy as to rendered almost useless – things look bleak.

Could Shrek being going out like a wuss after all?
Rumpelstiltskin makes a good short notice baddie and the animation is as great as it ever was, this time in 3D too which works well. Shrek Forever After rollicks along at a good pace and is certainly better than the Shrek The Third, but this isn’t a classic and doesn’t rouse the audience to a fever pitched send off for the big green hero.

There are some good laughs along the way, my pick being an annoying kid called ‘Butterpants’ who dogs Shrek at a party continually requesting the ogre to “Do the roar!” and is hard to impress.
Shrek has the distinction of being the biggest grossing animated series of films ever (untouched even by the mighty Toy Story flicks) – this would be a good place to end now before the law of decreasing returns bites too hard.

UNSEEN DELETED SCENE:

Woody from Toy Story gets transported to Far Far Away and has to team up with Shrek to fight off Monsters vs Aliens...

Darkmatters rating: ööööööö (7 solid baby ogres out of 10)

Darkmatters quick reference guide: Action 7 / Style 7 / Babes 3 / Comedy 8 / Horror 5 / Spiritual Enlightenment 4

Check out another review here (Den of Geek)

Darkmatters downloads Mass Effect 2 Demo

Play The Mass Effect 2 Demo



Experience over an hour of action-packed and immersive gameplay from Mass Effect 2.

As Commander Shepard, you must survive and escape from a Cerberus space station under siege. Then play through an intense mid-game mission where you must rescue an infamous convict from an impenetrable prison ship. Once you have completed the demo, you can carry over your progress and character into the full game! The demo also includes the Mass Effect "Story So Far" video, detailing the events of Mass Effect 1 narrated by Martin Sheen.

Available to download now on X360 & PC.

Darkmatters hearts Crackdown 2

Crackdown 2

The sequel to the award-winning vertical-world adventure, Crackdown 2 is the ultimate open-ended world action experience, only available on Xbox 360® (which is a shame because Darkmatters is a PS3 loving site and having played this we'd just love Microsoft to send us a review Xbox360 - who knows what might happen!?).

Anyway, the game lets you be judge, jury, and executioner for a huge, fully explorable city. Crackdown 2 takes multiplayer gaming to unprecedented levels for the ultimate co-op and competitive multiplayer experience, providing you and your friends with the complete freedom to explore, destroy, and play your way as you restore justice and peace to Pacific City - by any means necessary.

Watch the game in action:



Find out more here: http://www.xbox.com/en-GB/games/c/crackdown2/

Buy it:

Darkmatters hearts Tiger Woods PGA '11

Tiger Woods PGA '11 - Can you bring the Ryder Cup Home?

Playstations at the ready - Tiger Woods blasts back with his slickest game yet.

Released 2nd July... Hey that's today!! You can now select a team and square off to try and bring home The Ryder Cup in Tiger Woods PGA TOUR 11 on all console platforms - but let's face it, this year the only console to buy this on is the PS3 because it will be MOVE compatible as when Sony's High Definition motion control hits in a couple of months. 

The Ryder Cup is one of the last great sporting events to be founded in prestige rather than prize money. Being able to choose from the U.S. or European squad and participate in the various competition formats – foursomes where players hit alternate shots, fourballs and singles which traditionally bring the biennial event to a close with players going head to head is what sets the '11 game apart from last year's smooth effort.

When playing The Ryder Cup mode offline, you also have the option to swap matches, thus giving you the ultimate control over the outcomes of other matches...

Check the video below:

Darkmatters Review: Get Him To The Greek

Get Him To The Greek (15)

Dir. Nicholas Stoller

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

It seems old rockers are always up for a comeback gig, as a Carter USM fan I’ve been to at least three of their ‘last ever gigs, ever’… Get Him To The Greek is about the comeback gig of fictional Brit rocker Aldous Snow (Russell Brand) – you might have already met him in 2008’s Forgetting Sarah Marshall.

Except that drug addled Snow isn’t convinced that he’s even going to do the show at the famous Greek Theatre in L.A. and that is where young gun studio exec Aaron Green (Jonah Hill) comes in. Tasked by his crazed boss Sergio (a hilarious turn from P. Diddy / Sean Combs) with flying to London and escorting Snow to the make or break gig, Green is on a mission.

With the clock ticking Green has to deal with freak outs, drug smuggling, random groupie sex, copious drinking and various brawls – plus Snow’s mood swings in order to actually ‘get him to the Greek’… It’s by no means certain that the sold out gig will have the star perform – especially as he decides to take in random diversions en route like stopping to see his estranged father in Las Vegas.

Yes we’re deep in Judd ‘Superbad’ Apatow gross out comedy territory here and while he produces, Brand laps up the chance to strut his walking sex machine rocker stuff on the big screen again. I can take or leave Russell Brand and my expectations were set low for this (was only mildly fond of Forgetting Jessica Marshall) but Get Him To The Greek was both funnier and all round more watchable than expected.

There are some heart searching elements of the plot that delve beneath Snow’s showman persona and reveal his lonely dissatisfaction with the rock and roll lifestyle. Deep down all he really wants to get back together with his hot ex, Jackie Q (Rose ’28 Weeks Later’ Byrne). Jackie Q is a Lady Ga Ga like pop singer with hilariously filthy videos to match.

As seems to the be norm for comedies now – Get Him To The Greek is foul mouthed and leaps into sexual and bodily function jokes all guns blazing. This isn’t a movie to take your mum to (even if she is a Russell Brand fan).

Overall though – if you have a tolerance for crude humour, this Greek rascal certainly delivers lots of laughs and even manages to be a semi life-affirming flick too.

UNSEEN DELETED SCENE:

An x-rated cut scene was muted where Brand meets Nia Vardalos from My Big Fat Greek Wedding and double teams her with  Sean Combs...

Darkmatters rating: öööööööö (8 lite rom-com shootouts out of 10)

Darkmatters quick reference guide: Action 7 / Style 6 / Babes 8 / Comedy 8 / Horror 5 / Spiritual Enlightenment 1

Check out another review here (Sukhdev Sandhu)

Darkmatters Review: Killers

Killers (12a)

Dir. Robert Luketic

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

You see that guy? He’s my neighbour, you know the type, the one who always nods to you as you leave for work? He seems like a friendly sort, often waving or giving a warm smile… What if I told you he was actually a planted ‘sleeper’ agent – placed into my life in order to kill me should I become a threat to the system?

I know that might sound a bit far fetched but then I guess I ought to tell you that I’m not just a film reviewer but actually a professional killer who is trying to ‘get out’ of the business and lead a more ‘normal’ life with my family…

It isn’t easy existing like this – anyone I know could be standing by, just waiting for the order to take me out. Would make a good plot for a film though!?

Killers is that film – my role’s character Spencer is played by the Ashton (still trading on his cute looks) Kutcher, he’s a contract killer, one of the best covert assassins operating for a shady US government dept. His dream of settling down in the suburbs appears to have come true when he meets the lovely and newly single Jen (Katherine Heigl) and the two promptly fall in love.

They make a hot couple notching up several years of married bliss (despite her meddling parents – her dad played brilliantly by Tom Selleck who hasn’t been this good since Magnum). Spencer believes he has successfully hidden his violent past but one day a note from his old boss puts him in danger and it catches up with him fast.

"who's cuter?"

Director Robert ‘The Ugly Truth’ Luketic doesn’t go for classic or cutting edge films – what he does deliver are likeable slabs of disposable fun. Killers is funny, a kind of ‘rom-gun-com’ in the vein of Mr & Mrs Smith and despite Cineworld Luton attendant Paul looking dubious when I checked in – I enjoyed it much more than I though I would.
Ashton is on good form here, he makes a likeable lead and surprisingly convincing action hero, he also rustles up some good chemistry with Heigl who adds another romantic comedy to her growing list.

2010 is serving up some good date movies which add action / violence to keep the alpha males happy. Good times.

UNSEEN DELETED SCENE:

Kutcher and Heigl cross paths with Pitt and Jolie from Mr & Mrs Smith and have to fight to the death with automatic weaponry...


Darkmatters rating: ööööööö (7 lite rom-com shootouts out of 10)

Darkmatters quick reference guide: Action 8 / Style 6 / Babes 8 / Comedy 7 / Horror 4 / Spiritual Enlightenment 2


Check out another 'less positive' review here (MOVIE CYNICS)

Darkmatters hearts PlayStation MOVE

Prepare for the future - it hits in September!!

by Matt Adcock

PlayStation Move kicks the ass of all other motion control options...

You have to love e3 - some of the biggest games get announced (Sony rocked up with a new Twisted Metal, Portal 2 and the excellent looking Sly Cooper HD package last night).

SCEE however also announced that it will release the PlayStation®Move motion controller for PS3 in September... And it looks the absolute business!!

The new PlayStation®Move navigation controller, can be used alongside the motion controller for intuitive navigation of in-game characters and objects, will also be available on day one. THe Legend that is Kevin Butler was on hand to mock Xbox 360's Kinect - pointing fingers as a gun? What is this primary school??

LOL - but Sony don't need to tell the gun nut crowd that nobody will want to play a motion gun game that has no trigger to pull... And with more than 16 dedicated titles for PlayStation Move available on the day of launch and 40 more slated to hit throughout the holiday season, both casual gamers and hardcore gamers will have plenty of reasons to clear their coffee tables and immerse themselves in the most precise and ultra sensory gaming experience ever.

PlayStation Move titles showcased at E3 include:

Sorcery
SingStar Dance
Heroes on the Move (working title)
SOCOM 4 - bring those trigger fingers!
Heavy Rain Move Edition
echochrome ii
EyePet
Sports Champions
Tumble
Beat
Time Crisis: Razing Storm
Toy Story 3
Tiger Woods PGA Tour 11

PlayStation Move which is out in the UK on September 17th.

Prices are as follows:

- PlayStation Move Pack (includes PlayStation Move controller, the PlayStation Eye camera, the starter disk which includes the games Beat the Sketcher, Blocks and echochrome 2) - £49.99

- The PlayStation Move controller on its own - £34.99

- The Playstation Eye camera on its own - £24.99

- The PlayStation sub-controller on its own - £24.99

Darkmatters Review: Brooklyn's Finest

Brooklyn's Finest (18)

Dir. Antoine Fuqua

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

Today we’re riding with Brooklyn's Finest, these are the cops who police the New York’s meanest streets, who put themselves in harm’s way and who deal with the scumbags that threaten to overrun the city.

First up is Sal (Ethan Hawke) a narcotics detective who is swimming in debt and trying to find a way to finance a new house for his sick wife and ever growing family. Next up is Eddie (Richard Gere), he’s a browbeaten cop with over 20 years service who is marking time in his final week before retirement. Finally we have Tango (Don Cheadle), who is deep undercover in a drug dealing operation, so deep undercover that he might be losing sight of who the good guys are.

The triple storylines add different dimensions to the dilemmas faced by different sections of Brooklyn’s Law Enforcement. Many of the plot devices are clichéd and have been seen before (the temptation of dirty money, the feeling of helplessness in the face of rampant crime levels etc) but Brooklyn’s Finest is boosted by fantastic performances from the three leads.

Director Antoine ‘Training Day’ Fuqua has a talent for getting the best from his cast and here he even delivers a cracking comeback turn from Wesley Snipes as Caz – a drug dealer who has turned his life around whilst in prison. Gere hasn’t been this good for a long time and his relationship with ‘heart of gold’ hooker Chantel (Shannon Kane) is very moving.

Themes such as redemption and retribution loom large and overshadow all three plotlines. These ‘finest’ cops don’t necessarily live up to the title, as each is struggling to make sense of the brutal and shifting environment they operate in. There are some great ‘what would you do’ moments that will have you thinking long after the credits roll.

Brooklyn’s Finest actually feels like a kind of sequel to the Oscar winning Training Day – there is serious bloodshed, tragedy and much macho brooding. It all looks good, shot through with grimy tints and high contrast lighting – imagine The Wire with a bigger budget…

They say that every man has a moment of truth but this is war… This is Brooklyn. So if you’re in the mood for some crunching cop action that will hook you in all the way to a heartbreaking finale, Brooklyn’s Finest is the film you’re looking for this week.

UNSEEN DELETED SCENE:

Denzel Washington's character from Training Day comes back from the dead at the climax of the film and the three cops here have to battle the undead bad cop to the death!!

Darkmatters rating: ööööööö (7 dirty cops out of 10)

Darkmatters quick reference guide: Action 7 / Style 8 / Babes 7 / Comedy 6 / Horror 5 / Spiritual Enlightenment 4

Killzone 3 is shock and awe(some)

Killzone 3... FPS to die for... DARKMATTERS REVIEW OF KZ3: click here

"Sony's true Halo killer shows itself"



Read more and check the excellent Kevin Butler advert HERE

"Everybody smiles when they play Killzone 3"

For babes click HERE

Jacques D'Azur's heir found

Jacques D'Azur's heir found

By Matt Adcock

You must remember a few months back when we reported that international famous playboy Jacques d'Azur was missing - presumed 'up to his neck in mischief'? And how Jacques' wealthy family offered a large reward for the mysterious king of Cannes.

Well, alas he was never found... but Stella Artois 4% discovered the true heir to legendary film producer Jacques d'Azur, and whisked him away to take Jacques’ place at the Cannes Film festival, in the luxurious style that Jacques is accustomed to...

Watch it all here:

Ghost Stories – Live in London!

"I ain't scared o' no ghost... but you might be!?"

Ghost Stories - a truly terrifying show! Live at the Duke Of Yorks Theatre.

‘I had to sleep with the lights on. A top night out.’ Metro

Direct from a sell-out season at the Lyric Hammersmith, comes Ghost Stories a truly terrifying theatrical experience. Written and directed by The League of Gentlemen's master of the macabre, Jeremy Dyson, and Andy Nyman, co-creator and director of Derren Brown’s television and stage shows and star of Dead Set and Severance this is one event not to miss this Summer.

‘Brilliantly Scary.’ Daily Express

Here's the official WARNING: Please be advised that Ghost Stories contains moments of extreme shock and tension. The show is unsuitable for anyone under the age of 15. We strongly advise those of a nervous disposition to think very seriously before attending.

Ghost Stories mixes the very best of theatre with the buzz of a thrill-ride, delivering something unforgettable. Just keep telling yourself it's only a show.

You have been warned!

EXAM hits Blu-Ray and DVD

EXAM

"How far would you go to win the ultimate job?"

Eight talented candidates have reached the final stage of selection to join the ranks of a mysterious and powerful corporation.

In a windowless room, an Invigilator gives the students eighty minutes to answer one simple question.

There are also three rules they must obey or be disqualified:

1. don't talk to the armed guards

2. don't spoil your paper (e.g. try and write an answer)

3. don't leave the room

The clock starts and the EXAM begins...

Exam Out was released on Blu-ray & DVD June 7th

Darkmatters Review: 4.3.2.1.

4.3.2.1. (15)

Dir. Noel Clarke & Mark Davis

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

The countdown has started:

4 gorgeous girls – The sexy but downtrodden Joanne (Emma Roberts), the demur but self-harming Shannon (Ophelia Lovibond), the wild and out of control Kerry (Shanika Warren-Markland) and the stunning rich girl Cassandra (Tamsin Egerton)…

3 action packed days – which see the girls involved in stolen diamond heists, violent assaults, shootouts, sex and shopping.

2 cities – London and New York, you don’t need any others.

1 chance – to escape their everyday lives on the mean streets and life the dream.

Noel ‘Kidulthood and Adulthood’ Clarke delivers a new Brit twist on the multiple viewpoint heist movie formula which blazed onto our screens through films like Reservoir Dogs. 4.3.2.1. takes a dynamic, self destructive conclusion timed a t 23.30 on a Sunday night and rewinds the three days leading up to it four times, through the lives of the four girls.

This is basically an FHM reading lad’s wish fulfilment film which casts attractive girls and puts them through three tough days which reverses the charges of sexism by empowering the females leads. Men don’t stand a chance in 4.3.2.1. – they are generally creeps, losers and scumbags, girls however, well girls are tough, hot heroines who can save the day no matter what the odds.

"which one is your favourite?"

" Naughty..."

Stylishly made in the vein of the excellent ‘Go’ from 1999, 4.3.2.1.mixes smart pop culture references, foul mouthed humour and crowd pleasing action scenes with a serious underlying level of threat. The result is director Clarke’s best film to date, he has a cool sense of humour – keep an eye on television news scenes in the background which sport superb headlines such as ‘Chelsea Football Club Declared Bankrupt’. Add in fun cameos from king of slacker comedy Kevin ‘Clerks’ Smith and rapper ‘Eve’, and keep the whole things sizzling with some over the top payback. Clarke appears himself as a dodgy shop worker and EastEnders’ finest veteran Michelle Ryan cuts a swathe as a nasty crime enforcer. Does it make much sense? Not at all. Is it a lot of fun to watch? Absolutely!

"Taking being a babe seriously!?"

All the lead girls deliver good performances, some might wonder if it’s entirely necessary for them each to have scenes in their underwear but they do catch the eye. The four separate tales collide after three days due to some nicely implausible plot twists and it even sets up a potential sequel. Girl power has never looked so good. 

"Yep - she's a babe"

"where did I put my clothes?"

UNSEEN DELETED SCENE:


Sesame Street puppets kidnap the girls and teach them to sing the 4.3.2.1. song before Kerry breaks free and slaughters the puppets in graphic style...


Darkmatters rating: öööööööö (8 babe powered actions out of 10)

Darkmatters quick reference guide: Action 8 / Style 8 / Babes 9 / Comedy 8 / Horror 5 / Spiritual Enlightenment 2




Check out another review here