Darkmatters Review: HANNA

Hanna (12a)

Director: Joe Wright

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

Teenagers today eh? Take 15-year-old Hanna (Saoirse Ronan) she’s a bit of a handful having been raised in isolation by her father Erik (Eric Bana) to harness her enhanced physical powers and become the ultimate assassin. Watch as she takes on a squad of highly trained US marines, leaving them dead or dying, marvel at how she fistfights hard-nut skinhead thugs with ease and her ability to escape from maximum security installations.

It seems that all we really need to win the war on terror (and anything else) is a bunch of cute albino blonde teenage girls. Yes Hanna follows in the pint sized ass kicking footsteps of Mathilda from Leon and Hit Girl from Kick Ass by being an under age lethal weapon.

After bog screen hits with drama and romance, Director Joe ‘Atonement’ Wright delivers his first action film and he does it with style… The plot sees young Hanna pitted against he evil creator / killer of her mum Marissa Wiegler (Cate Blanchett) – her mission is to avenge her mother and find a way to escape the attentions of the insidious agency that is keen to wipe her and her father out.

"teen blonde on a mission"

Hanna has plenty of quality crunching action and (for a 12a) unflinching violence – the fights and chase scenes are up there with some of the best of breed such as films like the Bourne trilogy. The story cracks along at a decent pace – aided and abetted by a pumping bespoke soundtrack from The Chemical Brothers which gives the film a cool, hard edge. The cast are pitch perfect, even supporting characters such as Sophie (Jessica ‘Tamara Drewe’ Barden) – as a savvy worldly teenage brat who becomes Hanna’s unlikely pal. It is fascinating seeing the deadly but naïve Hanna trying to interact with ‘normal’ people when not facing down the many threats that are seeking to kill her. Special mention should also go to Tom Hollander who brings ruthless tracker Isaacs to tennis outfit wearing, OTT life.

"deadly but naive"

This is a beautifully realised dark coming of age tale with a difference that trails danger and thrills over and above the safe, soft tosh that we’ve been receiving recently. Wright is a great British director with a flair for gorgeous visuals, if you’re in the mood for decent action thrills – shot through an enjoyably twisted fairytale lens.

"life lessons from teen to teen"

A date with Hanna will leave you energized, shaken and stirred.

Out of a potential 5 you have to go with a Darkmatters:

ööööö

(5 - superb dark action thrills)...

Awesomeness ööööö – Hanna brings the noise

Laughs öö – couple of funny moments

Horror ööö – surprisingly grim in places

Babes ööö – Jessica Barden out 'cutes' Saoirse Ronan

Spiritual Enlightenment öööö – what is our purpose in life?

Darkmatters Review: THOR

Thor (12a)

Director: Kenneth Branagh

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

Thor, Odin's Son, through your arrogance and stupidity, you have opened these peaceful realms and innocent lives to the mild devastation of an overly long and fairly pointless superhero flick that lacks the thrills to really put it on the map…

Yes Marvel is busy gearing up for The Avengers next year which will see the ultimate comic book fan geek- out cast of Iron Man, Hulk, Captain America (see him hit the big screen later this summer) and Thor – the Norse god of thunder, amongst others.

"Loki whose been a naughty god"

So lovvie bothering Kenneth Branagh is tasked with directing this big budget ‘origins tale’ which maps out the back story of how Thor comes to earth and falls for cute mortal local girl Jane Foster (Natalie Portman) who just happens to be a renegade astrophysicist. Yes the huge helmeted, even bigger hammer-wielding blonde immortal hunk decides that earth is the place for him to protect based on his feelings for one young lady. Fair enough.

The film’s action bounces back and forth between modern day planet earth and the shiny retro camp realm of the gods – Asgard – which looks like it’s been borrowed from a Flash Gordon remake. Boss of the gods and father to Thor is Anthony Hopkins’ one eyed Odin who is trying to keep peace with the nasty god slaying Frost Giants from the adjacent realm of ‘Jotunheim’. The Frost Giants look like angry giant red eyed Smurfs and serve as rent-a-baddie source of enemies to feel the wrath of Thor’s magical hammer ‘Mjöllnir’.

The action scenes are duly spectacular if a bit soulless and as my son complained afterwards – there just aren’t enough of them but Thor (played to perfection by Chris ‘A Perfect Getaway’ Hemsworth) is good value and very charismatic in the lead role.

Supporting cast action comes from the likes of Stellan ‘Girl With Dragon Tattoo’ Skarsgard as Professor Erik Selvig (who’ll be back in The Avengers), kooky intern Darcy (Kat Dennings) and main bad guy / Thor’s brother Loki (Tom Hiddleston).

"Portman seems to be in every film released this year"

Samuel L Jackson does his regular post-credits scene as Shield’s Nick Fury plus other Avengers references include agents asking if Loki’s destroyer robot is ‘one of Stark’s suits’ and even a quick intro of another Avenger superhero Hawkeye.

If you’re looking for some big stupid super thrills, then Thor delivers just enough to make it worth a look. This probably won’t be anyone’s favourite superhero film but it does keep the momentum building towards Avengers which just might be the best one ever!?

Out of a potential 5 you have to go with a Darkmatters:

ööö

(3 - slick superhero fun but no classic)...

Awesomeness ööö – has its moments

Laughs ööö – some quality laughs

Horror öö – nothing very grim

Spiritual Enlightenment öööö – norse god morals run strong

Darkmatters Review: FAST FIVE

Fast Five (12a)


Dir. Justin Lin

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

“Chances are sooner or later, we are gonna end up behind bars or buried in a ditch somewhere. But not today…”

…Today we go see some stupid, larger than life car crime based action!

Since the original The Fast and The Furious blasted big car race / chase undercover cop thrills onto the big screen ten years ago, it has become the go-to franchise for auto adrenalin.

Now as the title kind of suggests we’re riding for the fifth time with the speed-freak crew of former undercover cop Brian O'Conner (Paul Walker) and his main man partner - ex-con Dom Toretto (Vin Diesel). Although if you want to be pedantic about it these two main characters skipped part 3 but hey, they’re back again now after reuniting in 2009’s Fast and Furious.

In case you missed part 4, you should know that since O’Conner and his girlfriend / Toretto’s sister Mia (Jordana Brewster) broke Dom out of custody, they've blown across many borders to elude authorities. Now backed into a corner in Rio de Janeiro, they must pull one last $100 million job in order to finally gain their freedom.

"check the crew"

The pals get an expert team of racers and crime specialists together in order to try and pull off the massive heist. As usual the authorities are hot on their heels and led for sheer fun factor this time by the hard-nosed federal agent Luke Hobbs (The Rock / Dwayne Johnson) who you just know is going to get into a macho fist fight with Diesel at some point. But as well as the cops, the heroic car racing thieves are being hunted by corrupt crime kingpin Reyes (Joaquim de Almeida) who won’t stop until they are all dead.

Fast Five is an improbably exciting and altogether superior sequel which will delight fans of any of the original four films. The action scenes are slick and frankly superb, especially the climax heist which brings possibly the most insane on road action you’re ever likely to see. Also big F & F fans shouldn’t leave until you’ve seen the additional scene that follows the credits – which points to a possible 6th entry…

Director Justin Lin, who has form for these movies having made the last two, is getting better each time. Fast Five shamelessly injects extra crowd pleasing elements such as a kick ass Call of Duty style gunfight to complement the fast and erm, furious driving action.

Car loving ladies and gentlemen, get down to the cinema and start your engines!!

Out of a potential 5 you have to go with a Darkmatters:
öööö

(4 - far better than anyone expected!? )...

Awesomeness öööö – fast and furious action a go go

Laughs öö – mildly funny (best not taken at all seriously)

Horror öö – some deaths but not much brutality

Babes öööö – Elsa Pataky and Gal Gadot are v. hot!

Spiritual Enlightenment öö – live fast, die young?

"Elsa Pataky wears the short shorts"

Patapon 3 (PSP)

Reviewed by Matt Adcock


Ever wanted to lead a tribe of crazy warriors that move only to your beat?

Well if you own a PSP then you're in luck... You might even have had a blast playing Patapon or Patapon 2 - but everything you've experienced up until now has been 'warm up' - Patapon 3 is where the real rythum drumming tribal warfare is at!

Yes just when you thought Sony Computer Entertainment Europe (SCEE) might be turning all thier attention towards the awesome looking NGP (PSP2), a game like Patapon 3 is released which shows that the current PSP is a handheld still kicking ass.

Yep the gameplay in Patapon 3 is immdiately pick up and playable (even more so than in the last two games) and it is once again invloves getting a tribe of warroirs to march into battle to the rhythm of the divine drums to please their 'Almighty' - you.

It's a beautiful, unique blend of rhythm and strategy gameplay that is ideal for a quick blast, and offers a deep, satisfying growing challenge that will keep you drumming for months to come. For the first time in Patapon history, you (the Almighty) is actually on-screen as a reincarnation of one of three new Superhero Patapon characters, putting you right at the heart of the groove.

Your tribe of followers will start small, consisting of just three supporting members Chin, Kan and Ton who will be hanging on your every drum beat as you command them through the game in time with the Pulse of the Earth. Guide them through more than 80 levels of volcano-scapes, darkened dungeons and twisted labyrinths, picking up new recruits along the way.

"hit em hard!"

As well as mastering the rhythm, you’ll also need to bring your tactics up to scratch – head to the Hideout where you’ll have to choose the optimal combinations of weapons and skills to send your brave little warriors to battle with. There are 30 bosses to defeat in the quest to save the fallen Patapon that have been turned to stone by evil forces, so your clan will need all your expertise. Different combinations of skills and weapons, and the way you play as a leading Superhero, will create a unique fighting style for your tribe, so no two Patapon clans are ever the same.

Patapon 3 brings online play to the series for the first time ever in Patapon history. Take your own Superhero to the online mode and play the entire game from start to finish as a team of four, or fight battles against up to seven others. You can even form your own online team with other heroes and put your tribe to the test against clans from across the globe.

Come on then 'Almighty' - show em what you've got!!

Out of a potential 5 you have to go with a Darkmatters:


öööö

(4 - bring the drumbeat pain)...

Check out more Patapon goodness over at http://www.patapon-game.com/
If Patapon was a girl it would be the awesome surf chick AnnaSophia Robb:

Scream 4 Review

Scream 4

Dir. Wes Craven

Reviewed for Darkmatters by Matt Adcock
(This post is sponsored by EFD)

"What's your favourite scary movie?"

The Scream franchise slices back onto the big screen ripping up the rule book of horror films - again...

The 4th Scream sees Sidney Prescott, returning to her home in Woodsboro whilst promoting her self-help book which has helped her come to terms with the brutal slaughter that has haunted her over the years...

The Scream gang is completed with Sheriff Dewey and Gale Weathers-Riley, who are now married. Oh, and another 'old face' too - that of the bloody murderer 'Ghostface' who is joined by sexy new cast members Jill (Emma Roberts). Kirby (Hayden Panettiere) and Chloe (Kristen Bell).

And before you can say 'carnage' the bodies start to drop as Ghostface goes on another homicidal rampage through the town - playing by a new set of rules for maximum entertainment.

Scream 4 is an excellent sequel and probably the best the follow up to the original - if you're a horror fan then you really need to see this and get up to date with how horror has changed thanks to the writer-director team of Scream creator Kevin Williamson and horror legend Wes Craven!

Out of a potential 5 you have to go with a Darkmatters:


öööö

(4 - your new favourite scary movie? )...

Awesomeness öööö – a joy for horror fans

Laughs ööö – darkly funny

Horror öööö – brutal killings a go go

Spiritual Enlightenment ööö – learn the rules and stick to them!

"Hayden Panettiere ups the heat in Scream 4"

Darkmatters Review: Your Highness

Your Highness (15)


Dir. David Gordon Green

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

Legend tells of a fantasy film that wouldst refine cinema viewing forever.

Featuring the mightiest of warriors, the noblest of princess and the comeliest of maidens – together they would overcome impossible odds and treacherous evil to bring truth, justice and peace to the land.


Your Highness is not that film, but it is possibly the funniest slice of fantasy nerd-em-up adventure to hit the screen since Krull or Hawk the Slayer and might even just be the ‘Best. Quest. Ever…’

Director David Gordon Green seems to still be in love with the joys of recreational drugs – following up with last ‘stoner action comedy’ Pineapple Express with what is a very similar format movie just set back in the mists of time. Your Highness boasts such a bawdy, sex obsessed, frankly stupid script that is will either offend the moral pants off you or tickle every dubious funny bone in your body!?

For maximum enjoyment you’ll need to disconnect or pickle your brain before viewing. The screenwriters dredge the comedy barrel whilst spoofing the Lord of the Rings type fantasy films – think ‘Dude Where’s My Sword’ and you’ll have some idea of what to expect.

"Princes to the end..."

The plot such as there is sees co-writer Danny McBride starring as Thadeous – probably the worst Prince ever, a lazy, cowardly fool who is forever in the shadow of his brave, dashing and altogether more heroic elder brother Prince ‘Fabious’ (James Franco). Fabious returns from his latest victory with a new gorgeous fiancé named Belladonna (Zooey Deschanel) but before they can web she is kidnapped by evil warlock Leezar (Justin Theroux).

So the quest is set for the Princes to seek Fabious’ lost bride to be and together face perils such as a pervert ‘wise wizard puppet’, seduction by tribe of bare breasted woman, battle all sorts of enemies including a mutant hand and a Minotaur along the way. The quest is joined by the gorgeous and feisty female warrior Isabel (Natalie Portman) who wears the most iconic metal bikini since Princess Leia and who packs some mad fighting skills.

"Not quite skinny dipping"

The laughs are a bit hit and miss but the cast go about the action with such conviction that it’s hard not to get caught up in the infectious stupidity. Copious fantasy references including Masters of the Universe, Clash of the Titans and Conan, certainly help make up for the weak pot-head and bodily function jokes.
So saddle up brave comedy fantasy seekers and make your quest to view Your Highness…

Out of a potential 5 you have to go with a Darkmatters:


ööö

(3 - the sword in the stoner)...

Awesomeness ööö – almost awesome, a near miss

Laughs öööö – stupid but will make you laugh

Horror öö – minor battle violence n some monsters

Babes öööö – Portman is hot, Deschanel not bad either!

Spiritual Enlightenment ö – unless you count dick jokes!?

- - -
Second opinion - The Telegraph who were less impressed and say: " It makes Mel Brooks’s Robin Hood: Men in Tights look like a masterpiece."

"Natalie Portman - classy actress!"

Darkmatters Review: Tomorrow, When The War Began

Tomorrow, When The War Began (12a)


Director: Stuart Beattie

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

G’day sport, you looking for some bonza Aussie action? Well quit your grinnin and drop your linen cos the dinkum Tomorrow, When The War Began is here to blow your mind.

Yep, the massive selling Australian teenage war novel (part one of a seven book series) has been brought to big screen life. Tomorrow, When The War Began is already a bit of a phenomena in Australia where it broke box office records and became 2010’s biggest grossing film down under.

So what’s it all about? Well take seven ‘average’ teenagers namely – Ellie ‘the heroine’ (Caitlin Stasey), Corrie ‘the best friend’ (Rachel Hurd-Wood), Kevin ‘the cowardly boyfriend’ (Lincoln Lewis Holmes), Homer ‘wild boy’ (Deniz Akdeniz), Fiona ‘hot blonde’ (Phoebe Tonkin), Lee ‘token Asian’ (Chris Pang) and Robyn ‘the religious one’ (Ashleigh Cummings). Pack them off into the bush for a weekend camping trip, only for a dastardly evil invading army to take over their hometown of Wirrawee while they’re gone.

"teens check out potential target bridge"

And like any rebellious but good hearted teens – as soon as they realise that their families have been taken captive and that the invaders are using deadly force on the peaceful townsfolk – they vow to fight back in a guerilla style.

Cue lots of sneaking about, soul searching and the occasional exciting firefight or car chase. It’s all put together well enough by debut director Stuart ‘the guy who wrote G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra’ Beattie.
This being a film aimed at young adults, I took my 14 year old son Luke with me to give me a teen’s view on the flick. He listed the action scenes, hot babe (Tonkin – who you might know from the mermaid TV show H20) and surprisingly edgy mood as the highlights but was less keen on the “dull” weeping and “boring” long dialogue scenes. Luke’s review score: 7/10 “good but not as good as Battle L.A.”

"this was Luke's favourite scene in the film!"

That seems like a fair reaction / summation of Tomorrow, When The War Began which delivers some cool military special effects and works hard to set up the numerous potential sequels which are likely to follow.

As lead character Ellie sums up to her video diary: “We've all had to rewrite the scripts of our lives the last few weeks… it’s been quite a time.”

Worth a look for anyone seeking a mild action hit – as long as you have a high tolerance of cheesy dialogue and ‘Neighbours’ quality acting.


Out of a potential 5 you have to go with a Darkmatters:
ööö1/2

(3.5 - arm your kids!)...

Awesomeness ööö – action is good when it comes

Laughs öö – couple of funnies

Horror öö – some violence against families

Babes öööö – Tomkin is hot

Spiritual Enlightenment ööö – even Christians can take up arms to save their country?
- - -

Second opinion - Total Film who say: "The directorial debut of Stuart Beattie (whose screenwriting credits include the Pirates movies and Australia), this is an impressive-looking film, but unfortunately, handsome production design is its main asset."

Darkmatters hearts MOTORSTORM APOCALYPSE!!

MotorStorm PS3

Developed by: Evolution Studios

Reviewed by Matt Adcock (A version of this review is also available at Frank The Monkey!:)

AAHhhhhh my butt is on fire!

Welcome to MotorStorm: Apocalypse, the third PS3 game in the MotorStorm franchise which has been tearing up Sony’s powerhouse machine with a uniquely balls out flavour of racing since it launched. ‘Apocalypse’ brings a new level of insane destruction to the mix – the races this time are not just off road, but off the scale awesome as the urban landscape itself is torn apart by a massive earthquake.

Ah yeah, the earthquake, well that didn’t work out so well for the makers as MotorStorm: Apocalypse was due to be released just when the real world earthquake had just hit Japan. So the game was quite rightly delayed for a few weeks to literally "let the dust settle".

So if you’ve played any of the previous MotorStorm games then you’ll know what to expect racing wise – full throttle arcade thrills, where ramming opponents is actively encouraged and boosting over the winning line on fire is part of the experience. Apocalypse recaptures some of the original’s spunky attitude which had been toned down for the last outing, it is also a darker take on the genre with passers-by and spectators fair game to become road kill if they get in the way!?

Anyway - this video shows you exactly what to expect:



The racing dynamics are tight and highly satisfying, boosted by the addition of some wicked new vehicles including supercars, superbikes, hot hatches, muscle cars and choppers. The urban setting makes a refreshing change from the mud, sand (and ice if you count the PSP ‘Artic Edge’) and the feeling of driving a suped up supercar through a dust cloud of pure destruction as the whole track literally collapses around you is a buzz that no other racing game to date has managed to deliver. It dwarves the efforts of Split / Second which was the closest to it in terms of urban racing / destruction and sets a new benchmark for total hard core arcade racing fun.

The MotorStorm Apocalypse city where the ‘Festival’ of racing takes place gets ravaged in real-time as you race - bridges can buckle and twist, buildings collapse and rifts open up beneath the vehicles as they drive, it’s awesome. You can also tinker with the look of your vehicles this time with vinyls, parts, and modified stat changing ‘perks’. It gives you a good affinity with you vehicles and lets you set them up in the style you want to race – combative, pure speed, defensive etc.

MotorStorm fans know just how important using the boost is – and letting it cool down is a key part of winning races. Driving through water is one way to cool / recharge the boost but here you can also let the air cool you down by performing some crazy big air jumps.
The city (or what’s left of it) is still home to some folks – and they can effect the race by doing things like firing missiles onto the track… This interference adds another element to the races and keeps it unpredictable.
You begin as a ‘Rookie’ and can work your way through ‘Pro’ through to ‘Veteran’ – it doesn’t take too long to progress if you’re any good and there are plenty of achievable trophies to grab along the way.
So the Festival is the main single-player mode and has a storyline which is new to the series – told through fun graphic novel like cut scenes. MotorStorm: Apocalypse – of course keeps and improves on the excellent brutal online multiplayer racing too – complete with Call of Duty alike perks to unlock.

"I feel the need, the need for - oh wait, not that game, this is MOTORSTORM!"

MotorStorm: Apocalypse is a great game which delivers a unique and fun to play racing experience that kicks the ass of any other off road racer on any system. If you like racing games then this is a must buy – don’t deny yourself the sheer excitement that awaits.

Out of a potential 5 you have to go with a Darkmatters:


ööööö

(5 - Awesome shock and awe on wheels)...

If MOTORSTORM APOCALYPSE was a girl it would be recently named by Esquire Magazine 'sexiest woman alive': Katrina Bowden
 

"tipped for big things by Darkmatters in 2007"

Darkmatters Review: Sucker Punch

"hot stuff"

Sucker Punch (12a)


Dir. Zack Snyder

Starring: Emily Browning, Oscar Isaac, Carla Gugino, Jena Malone, Abbie Cornish, Jamie Chung, Vanessa Hudgens

Reviewed by Matt Adcock (This review can also be read over at FRANK THE MONKEY)

You will be unprepared…

See that cutie dressed as a schoolgirl? The one with the cherry red lips, blonde hair, short skirt and samurai sword? That’s Babydoll and she’s going to take you on a wild ride which will redefine how you experience action films from now on.

"Beauty and the metalic minigun toting beast!"

Zack ‘now working on Superman: Man of steel’ Snyder is a master of visual spectacle mixed with crunching comic book action – as proved in his 300 and Watchmen flicks. With Sucker Punch he is writing and directing and it feels like he is downloading everything he thinks is awesome in one massive brain dump. The cutting edge visuals are still there swirling iconic elements fused from Manga, Sci-fi and Horror – making something unique and breathtaking.


Let’s not mess about here, Sucker Punch is possibly the best visual action thrill ride ever, it will break your heart, raise your pulse and melt your cinematic pleasure receptors. Nothing can fully prepare you for this insanely delicious eye-popping overload of smokin’ hot babes and megaton action.
It hits like a true sucker punch to the frontal lobes and left me reeling.

Plot wise Sucker Punch sees Baby Doll (Emily ‘Uninvited’ Browning) put in a Shutter Island alike mental institution by her wicked, incestuous stepfather after the double tragedy of death of mother and sister. The asylum is full of damaged young women and run by the slimy Blue Jones (Oscar ‘Prince John in Robin Hood’ Isaac) and Dr. Gorski (Carla ‘Watchmen’ Gugino).

In this dank nut house which is a front for a high class brothel, Baby Doll meets and bonds with some of the other girls - Rocket (Jena Malone), her sister Sweet Pea (Abbie Cornish), Amber (Jamie Chung) and Blondie (Vanessa Hudgens).

"Trench warfare - catwalk style"

The girls are forced to ‘dance’ for male clients who visit the facility and that is where reality gets fractured in that when Babydoll dances – she can escape into a fantasy world. The fantasy sections are where Sucker Punch really comes alive – channelling the very best CGI effects and a videogame vibe (kind of like a darker Scott Pilgrim). You’ll never see quite so many ‘oh man that’s awesome’ moments as you will watching Babydoll and her crew of babes taking on the forces of evil which include giant red eyed shoguns, fire breathing dragons, steam powered zombie Nazis or slick battle droids that look like they’ve escaped from i-Robot.

Sucker Punch is an amazing achievement, standing toe-to-toe with Inception in creating spectacular worlds within worlds. If the fantasies write large here are directly from the inside of Snyder’s mind then he may need psychiatric help before too long…

The whole cast go about the crazy proceedings with gusto and deliver a fantastic freak show of memorable characters including Scott Glenn as ‘Wiseman’ who is a the mystical ‘man with a plan’ leader of the girls in their fantasy battles. But the main attraction is Emily Browning's Babydoll who earns her place in the all time coolest cinematic heroine club, rubbing shoulders with Trinity from The Matrix, The Bride from Kill Bill and Hit Girl from Kick Ass...

If there is a problem to highlight with Sucker Punch it’s that the videogame level format seems lacking a proper ‘end boss finale’ but maybe the sucker punch here for viewers is not to presume that the film can be understood in a single viewing?
As the Wiseman says: “If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything” – Sucker Punch is a film worth falling for and action film fans, geeks and lovers of skimpily clad hot women kick butt should book their tickets now.

Good job Mr Snyder – now please just make sure that Superman has the plot to back up the visual spectacle and it just might be the best film of all time!?

Out of a potential 5 you have to go with a Darkmatters:


ööööö

(5 - open your mind!)...

Awesomeness ööööö – best. action. scenes. ever?

Laughs öö – patchy acting might raise a smile

Horror ööö – freaky in areas, nasty too

Babes ööööö – Browning is delicious but all the girls are hot

Spiritual Enlightenment ööö – dancing can free your mind...

- - -

Second opinion - try Artist Direct who say "Baby Doll usually begins dancing and singing for some nefarious character and then the girls are either battling a breathtakingly brutal fire-breathing dragon or trying to stop a futuristic train from exploding. They're locked and loaded with a bevy of machine guns, and Snyder blends John Woo-style bullet ballet with old school Kung Fu movements for a style of action that's often been tried but never executed this perfectly."

"nice outfits"

Emily Browning appreciation.

Darkmatters Review: Limitless

Limitless (15)
Dir. Neil Burger

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

I’m told that the average movie goer only uses 20% of their brain when experiencing a film.

‘Limitless’ however brings experimental drug NZT to the table - a drug that allows people to use the full 100 percent of their mind for films or absolutely anything. Recorded side effects however include scorching of the pleasure receptors as a result of witnessing such a delirious action thriller head-trip.

Imagine the possibilities if your whole brain was yours to command? How about being able to remember in detail everything you had ever seen or heard… and be able to implement that knowledge effectively at will. E.g. If you need to know how to fight – the moves from every action film and computer game you’ve experienced will be yours. Want to learn a new language? It’ll take you about a day. Looking to write a novel? Four days maximum for a masterpiece…

"Don't do drugs kids!"

This is the world of Limitless from director Neil ‘The Illusionist’ Burger. It is the tale of struggling writer Eddie Morra (Bradley ‘The Hangover’ Cooper) who gets dumped by his girlfriend Lindy (Abbie ‘Sucker Punch’ Cornish) for being a chronic loser.

Everything changes however when Eddie is offered NZT - a designer pharmaceutical that makes him laser focused and more confident than any man alive thanks to it freeing up 100% of his brainpower. Within days he has shot to the top of the financial world, making millions on the markets and his new high profile draws the attention of business mogul Carl Van Loon (Robert De Niro).

Things get out of hand when the brutal side effects of NZT kick in and jeopardise Eddie’s new untouchable ‘limitless’ lifestyle. Then he discovers that people will do anything to get their hands on the drug and that his life is in danger.

Limitless brings a delicious dark vibe that echoes David Fincher's zeitgeist riffing Fight Club. The idiom from Spiderman that ‘with great power comes great responsibility’ is lost on Eddie as he recklessly parties with his new found powers.

The cinematography is excellent – all blue-grays when Eddie is pre NZT (or when he comes down) and lovely golden glow when the drug is in effect. If there is a weak point it is probably De Niro who sleepwalks through his part but Limitless blasts along at such an agreeable rate that you’ll be tripping too much to be brought down by one poor performance.

Limitless is an awesome thrill ride that you should seek out and get a hit of ASAP!

Out of a potential 5 you have to go with a Darkmatters:
ööööö

(5 - open your mind!)...

Awesomeness öööö – take the blue pill

Laughs ööö – dark humour
Horror ööö – some violence and blood ingestion!

Babes ööö – fancy a Cornish pastie?

Spiritual Enlightenment ööö – if God gave us brains, why not use em?

- - -

Second opinion - try Hollywood Reporter who said: "He’s a mega-brain on steroids, a Superman for the Information Age. He is also a comic reflection of a cultural shift in American perceptions of masculinity that is beginning to value a Bill Gates or Steve Jobs more than a Kobe Bryant or LeBron James."

"Miss Cornish - smart man's g/f"

Yoostar 2 Review

YOOSTAR 2

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

YooStar 2 is something a bit special – a game that brings the magic, danger, emotion and fun of Hollywood to your living room. Using the excellent PS3 Move Controller and PlayStation Eye Camera, you can insert yourself into famous movie and TV scenes, star alongside or in place of your favourite actors.

Think ‘SingStar’ with films... READ THE REST OF THIS REVIEW ON FRANK THE MONKEY

Check the trailer HERE

Darkmatters Review: ANUVAHOOD

ANUVAHOOD (15)

Dir. Adam Deacon, Daniel Toland

Reviewed by Matt ‘Badman’ Adcock

This is a Hype Review Ting for ANUVAHOOD.

Step to this urban comedy people cos ANUVAHOOD is on the streets of the UK innit and it be the debut movie from Adam ‘KIdulthood’ Deacon who like wrote, directed and acted this sucker.

ANUVAHOOD is a new youth-em-up take on the gritty existence of urban teens on London’s mean streets – this time though, along with the requisite gangsta posturing, violence, drugs and yoof speak, it is mainly played for laughs.

Featuring the so called life of young Kenneth (Deacon), a wannbe MC who likes to be called ‘K’ and thinks that he’s a ‘Badman’ but in fact is a smalltime loser working at ‘Laimsbury’s. He can’t get a woman, his seven year old sister disrespects him and his mix tape CD has made him just £3 to date.

K hangs with a ‘wasteman’ crew that include hyperactive T.J. (Jazzie Zonzolo), straight talking Bookie (Femi Oyeniran), PlayStation loving Lesoi (Michael Vu who co-wrote this with Adam Deacon) and Spanish exchange tripper Enrique (Ollie Barbieri). This misfit crew live in fear of local psycho Tyrone (Richie Campbell) who compared to K is a proper Vex Badman and who takes every opportunity to jack those he meets on the estate.

If K ever going to make his dreams of musical tings come true he’s going to need to find a way to help his parents pay their rent, get some links and avoid getting shanked by the rival crews.

"The sex scenes are all that and more..."

We’ve seen youth council estate hardship a lot recently with the excellent Fish Tank and Harry Brown but whilst nothing in ANUVAHOOD is overly original (which is what comes of riffing so strongly on Noel Clarke’s Kidult and Adulthood films – look out for cameo from Jaime Winston) it does manage to be fresh and funny in places.

In fact Deacon delivers a ‘jokes’ film on a small budget – and handles the film’s transition from initial slapstick humour to a much darker gun crime and crunchingly violent climax well.

ANUVAHOOD has been attracting love and hate in equal measure – it seems to split along an age divide but if you ‘accept it’ then there’s much amusement to be had. The screening I caught this at was completely sold out which shows that there is an appetite for street level laughs.

Bad taste, big fun and totally hip, here’s to anuva ANUVAHOOD sometime soon!?

Out of a potential 5 you have to go with a Darkmatters:


öööö

(4 - it's jokes)...


Awesomeness ööö – get down in the hood

Laughs öööö – it's Jokes all the way

Horror ööö – bloody beating included

Babes ööö – toe licking good?

Spiritual Enlightenment ööö – it's a Hype Ting
- - -

Second opinion - try MTV who gave it 4/5 and said: "If you’re looking to escape the harsh realities of the gritty hood movies of the past and don’t mind a bit of cheesy, over-the-top cheeky banter - then ‘Anuvahood’ will be right up your street (pun intended)."

"Jaime Winston - adds some sizzle"

Are You Smooth Enough to Play Jacques D'Azur

"Jacques d’Azur, the legendary ‘King Of Cannes’"

You Want To Star in a Film Premiering at Cannes 2011?

Matt Adcock for Darkmatters

Top brew makers Stella Artois have launched a competition to find someone smooth enough to star in a film that will premiere at the 2011 Cannes Film Festival.

In what could be the ultimate film fan’s competition, would-be stars are being given the chance to play Jacques d’Azur, the legendary ‘King Of Cannes’, in the highly anticipated biopic of his life. In addition to playing the leading role in the film, the lucky winner will also attend the prestigious Cannes Film Festival where the movie will premiere, and will receive movie star treatment throughout their trip.
Following Jacques d’Azur’s mysterious disappearance in 2010, Stella Artois launched a search for his rightful heir who was treated to Jacques’ week at the Cannes Film Festival.
Having been missing for over a year, Jacques is presumed dead, and all of Hollywood eagerly anticipates the movie of his life. But the greatest challenge still lies ahead - no actor can be found to play the leading role.

Stella Artois is now kicking off the search for the perfect leading man, using the latest in digital technology to ensure would-be Jacques’ from far and wide have the chance to audition.

The winner of this once in a lifetime opportunity will jet off to Cannes to film their part, and will then be treated to a five star experience befitting their newfound celebrity. The glamour and excitement of the Cannes Film Festival awaits this rising star who will travel in style to the jewel of the French Riviera and will literally be the star of the show from start to finish.

In true film star style, the premiere will be followed by a star studded party at Chez Jacques’, Stella Artois’ luxury, invitation-only lounge at the Carlton Hotel’s exclusive beachfront property in Cannes.
This amazing competition launches on March 1st when entrants can visit www.stellaartois.com to film their audition tape alongside their beautiful leading lady using the latest in webcam and video editing techniques. To enter, budding movie stars will film their scenes on their webcam and this footage will then be seamlessly morphed with the leading lady’s scenes to produce a casting film which would-be Jacques’ can share with their friends and family online. On April 1st, all submitted casting tapes will be put before our panel of distinguished judges who will select a short list of 200 Jacques’ hopefuls, to be announced on April 5, 2011. The star of the film will be chosen from this short list.
Alexander Lambrecht, Global Marketing Manager at Stella Artois, says “To celebrate our Cannes Film Festival sponsorship and the ‘King of Cannes’, Jacques d’Azur, we’re offering one lucky fan the experience of a lifetime. Now, Stella Artois fans around the world will have the chance to see their own creation online, and one fan will appear on the big screen at the home of the world’s most prestigious event in the film industry calendar, the 64th annual Cannes Film Festival. This truly is a once in a lifetime opportunity and we can’t wait to meet our new leading man.”

Would-be leading ladies need not miss out on all the fun – the online casting call also offers the opportunity to audition for a starring role playing opposite the legendary Jacques d’Azur.

Visit http://www.stellaartois.com/ this month for details and to apply.

"Could this be you?"

About Stella Artois & Film

Stella Artois has had a long association with film and sponsors 50 international film festivals each year. In the UK, Stella Artois has organised a range of events as well as TV sponsorship of Channel 4 films and a website. Stella Artois is a primary sponsor of the film festivals of Cannes, Melbourne and Sundance.

About Anheuser-Busch InBev


Anheuser-Busch InBev is a publicly traded company (Euronext: ABI) based in Leuven, Belgium, with an American Depository Receipt secondary listing on the New York Stock Exchange (NYSE: BUD). It is the leading global brewer and one of the world's top five consumer products companies. A true consumer-centric, sales driven organization, Anheuser-Busch InBev manages a portfolio of well over 200 beer brands that includes global flagship brands Budweiser, Stella Artois and Beck’s, fast growing multi-country brands like Leffe and Hoegaarden, and strong "local champions" such as Bud Light, Skol, Brahma, Quilmes, Michelob, Harbin, Sedrin, Klinskoye, Sibirskaya Korona, Chernigivske, and Jupiler, among others. In addition, the company owns a 50 percent equity interest in the operating subsidiary of Grupo Modelo, Mexico's leading brewer and owner of the global Corona brand. Anheuser- Busch InBev’s dedication to heritage and quality is rooted in brewing traditions that originate from the Den Hoorn brewery in Leuven, Belgium, dating back to 1366 and the pioneering spirit of the Anheuser-Busch brewery, which traces its origins back to 1852 in St. Louis, USA. Geographically diversified with a balanced exposure to developed and developing markets, Anheuser-Busch InBev leverages the collective strengths of its approximately 116,000 employees based in operations in 23 countries across the world. The company strives to be the Best Beer Company in a Better World. In 2009, the company realized revenue of 36.8 billion USD. For more information, please visit: www.ab-inbev.com

SUCKER PUNCH anticipation

"Can't wait!!"

Only a few days now until SUCKET PUNCH hits the UK...

If  you haven't already checked the excellent retro style posters (as above) click HERE

To watch the trailer and see the all babe cast on Darkmatters click HERE

More Emily Browning love click HERE

Game Baftas: PS3 brings the Heavy Rain

Sony's PS3 was the big winner at the 2011 Baftas

Matt Adcock for Darkmattters

Last night the Video Game Baftas were awarded and for the second year running, the PS3 was the console which had the most wins. Last year Uncharted 2 took home 4 Baftas, this year it was Heavy Rain which won 3 and was the only game to win multiple awards.

There was a good selection of winners but the only Xbox 360 exclusive to win was the kiddie friendly Kinect Sports - surprisingly Sony's Move enabled Heavy Rain beat Kinect to the Technical Innovation award. Microsoft had put Alan Wake up against Heavy Rain in two catagories but the PS3 title beat it both times.

"Multiple Baftas for the MOVE controlled game"

And the winner is:

Best Game - Mass Effect 2 

Artistic Achievement - God of War III

Action - Assassin’s Creed Brotherhood

Multiplayer - Need for Speed: Hot Pursuit

Original Music - Heavy Rain

Sports - F1 2010

Story - Heavy Rain

Technical Innovation - Heavy Rain

Best use of audio - Battlefield: Bad Company: 2

Game Award 2010 (Voted by the Public) - Call of Duty: Black Ops


Family - Kinect Sports


Gameplay - Super Mario Galaxy 2

Strategy - Civilization V

Social Network Game - My Empire

One to Watch - Twang

Handheld - Cut the Rope


Well done to all the winners - here's to another great year of gaming which has already kicked off in style with LittleBigPlanet2, KILLZONE 3, DC UNIVERSE ONLINE and YOOSTAR 2.

"Heavy Rain - the game to beat in 2010"

Darkmatters review of HEAVY RAIN

Darkmatters Review: Battle Los Angeles

Battle: Los Angeles (12a)


Dir. Jonathan Liebesman

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

“Retreat?”


“Hell no!”

If there is one thing that Hollywood teaches us it’s that when tooled up alien invaders turn up and begin systematically wiping us out – the people you really want in your corner are U.S. Marines. Battle: Los Angeles is all about man vs aliens – told from the point of view of a bunch of Marines who risk everything to save some civilians trapped behind enemy lines.

Splashing impressive special effects, Battle: Los Angeles paints a pretty bleak picture as to earth’s capacity to repel invaders and packs in a huge amount of peril and threat for a 12a rated film. This is basically a cinematic hybrid version of two classic shoot-em-up PlayStation games namely Call of Duty crossed with Resistance: Fall of Man (look out for the massive billboard for Sony’s Resistance 3 which arrives later this year in one scene).

We join Staff Sgt. Michael Nantz (Aaron ‘Dark Knight’ Eckhat), a soldier whose last mission didn’t go so well, leading to most of his men getting killed. He is tasked with leadings a small team of Marines into the occupied area of Santa Monica – an area that has been devastated by the evil alien exterminators.

Think ‘Black Hawk Down’ just with angry armoured extra-terrestrials instead of Somali soldiers and you’ll have some idea of the non-stop against the odds action that makes up most of the screen time. The deafening interplay of large caliber guns being answered by the sonic booms of the advance alien weaponry is the constant backdrop to the macho goings on. Who, if anyone, will survive is the only variable factor as the team battle valiantly to save some cute civilian kids and token multicultural clichéd characters.

Battle: Los Angeles is a pure boys own movie – a fact backed up by my eldest son who turned to me as the end credits rolled and said “I could happily watch another two hours of that!” Don’t be expecting any real character development or deep exploration of meaningful issues – just sit back and enjoy the alien carnage and untold battle mayhem.

The effects team has created some of the best alien special effects to grace the screen since AVATAR (even though Colin and Greg Strause jumped ship midway to direct the lesser sci-fi work ‘Skyline’).

Battle: Los Angeles is loud, dumb and action packed, so if that’s what you’re in the mood for – step up and join the fight!
Out of a potential 5 you have to go with a Darkmatters:
öööö

(4 - Big bangs, little brains, Woo Haa)...

Awesomeness öööö – LA gets trashed in style
Laughs öö – unitentional laughs only
Horror ööö – some convincing death and destruction
Babes öö – Michelle Rodriguez looks good kick ass
Spiritual Enlightenment ööö – LA is worth fighting for!

- - -
Second opinion - try Sci-Fi-Cool who said: "“Battle: Los Angeles” is one hell of an alien invasion kick-off for 2011. For now, at least, it’s the film to beat."

Rodriguez looks good out of combat gear too"

BLOODED: coming soon

BLOODED

Matt Adcock

Imagine if protest groups who disagreed with what people do took the law into their own hands?

Well, in October 2005, five young people were kidnapped in the Highlands of Scotland.


Stripped and abandoned in the the wilderness, they were forced into a deadly game where the hunters became the hunted. Their ordeal was filmed by an extreme animal rights group as a warning to others: if you hunt...you're fair game.

Combining dramatic reconstruction and compelling interviews with the survivors, BLOODED finally tells the full story behind one of the most extreme internet virals of modern times.
 
Check out the trailer for this interesting flick HERE

Darkmatters Review: MARCHLANDS

Marchlands (15)

Dir. James Kent

Starring: Alex Kingston, Dean Andrews, Shelley Conn, Jodie Whittaker, Tessa Peake-Jones, Jamie Thomas King, Elliot Cowan, Ethan Griffin, Sydney Wade, Elizabeth Rider, Sophie Stone, Anne Reid

Reviewed by Matt Adcock (A version of this review is also available on FRANK THE MONKEY - which Matt Adcock also writes for) Click here to read

Thank you for your interest in this lovely large Yorkshire house. As I’m sure you’ll agree, ‘Marchlands’ has a lot of character – unfortunately it’s seen a fair share of unhappiness but let’s not dwell on that.

If you do feel a chilling supernatural presence or see a spooky little girl that isn’t actually there – please don’t worry, I’m sure it’s nothing to worry about… Unless…

Marchlands is a classy ghost story about a little girl named Alice who haunts the big house that is home of three families who live in it across three time periods (1968, 1988, 2010). The one thing that links them all is Alice and her untimely death.

What follows is a gripping drama follows the events as the various repercussions of the unsolved mystery of Alice's death and why her spirit is still freaking people out in Marchlands.

"Residents of Marchlands through the years"

The production values are excellent (which I’m sure isat least partly thanks to Warner Brothers investing for the first time in British TV). ITV have surpassed the normally untouchable BCC with Marchlands – a mystery thriller that delivers more frightful thrills than any number of Paranormal Activities and features a fantastic cast including Alex Kingston (Moll Flanders), Denis Lawson (Bleak House), Jodie Whittaker (St Trinian's), Anne Reid (Ladies of Letters), Shelly Con (Mistresses) and Tessa Peake-Jones (Only Fools and Horses).

The enthralling story of the three families linked across three decades as they live in the remote house is very well put together. The plot jumps in time effectively but never confusingly and builds up a delicious slow burn which pays off in a satisfying climax.

It is better to go into Marchlands not knowing all the ins and outs of the characters in each generation, so for maximum viewing pleasure don’t go reading up on the plot beforehand. Credit must go to the makers for reinvigorating the haunted house genre without relying on too many clichés.

Special props should go to the young Sydney Wade who plays ‘Amy’ – another 8 year old girl who comes to live in Marchlands and who becomes ‘friends’ with the dead Alice. Hers is a key role and Wade marks herself out as a child actor with a big future thanks to a gripping depiction of a troubled child.

Alice isn’t the only ‘ghost’ in Marchlands as the skeletons and demons of past actions tumble from the closets of various characters… Who will survive emotionally and what will the dark secret behind Alice’s death mean to those across the generations?

Marchlands sets the new high benchmark for TV horror-lite. It carries the torch of the old Hammer Horror shows and delivers an unsettling miniseries that will suck you in and chill your bones. Highly recommended for those who like it when things go ‘bump’ in the night…

Out of a potential 5 you have to go with a Darkmatters:

öööö

(4 - just the right balance of spook-em-up and mystery thriller)...