DARKMATTERS - The Mind of Matt

You met me at a very strange time in my life...

Read my novel: Complete Darkness

Listen to the PODCAST I co-host: Hosts in the Shell

Sunday, March 19, 2006

Film Review: The Pink Panther

The Pink Panther (PG)
Dir. Shawn Levy

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

Mon dieu! Call the bumbling French cops there’s a crime being committed in your local cinema…
The main suspect is a tragically unfunny doofus who goes by the name of Steve Martin but here he’s being aided and abetted by a well known criminal known only as Shawn ‘Cheaper by the Dozen 2’ Levy.
And the crime? These two stand accused of making a movie so awful that it’s actually more fun to spend the time punching yourself in the face than watching it…
Nothing can save this new version of The Pink Panther, not importing the sexy Beyoncé which kind of worked for Austin Powers, neither having a couple of sometimes decent actors like Kevin Kline as Clouseau's pompous superior or Jean Reno who must have been press ganged into this big screen toilet filler.
You really have to worry for any film whose best few minutes are a semi homage to James Bond, complete with Clive ‘ooh wouldn’t he have made a great Bond’ Owen as ‘006’.
Steve Martin’s Inspector Clouseau is frankly rubbish, proving again that he’s just not funny anymore and Peter Sellers must be rolling in his grave, to see his best ever character so heinously molested in Martin’s incapable hands.
The only good news here is that you don’t have to watch this leaden, forced, cringe inducing turkey. If this Pink Panther should serve any purpose – it should be to drive people back to the original series of films on DVD (my favourite being 75’s ‘Return of the Pink Panther’ which also boasts some of the best opening credits in history).
But, if you’re still prepared to brave this movie, what can you expect the 2006 version of The Pink Panther?
Well, incompetent Clouseau gets assigned to solve a double mystery involving the murder of the French national football coach and the theft of the priceless pink panther diamond. Various misadventures befall the hero and at a couple of times it is almost chuckle worthy (trying to teach the French cop to pronounce "hamburger" in preparation for a trip the U.S. in particular). But dodgy French accents can’t make up for what the BBC describe as a "distressingly unfunny" film.
The biggest mystery on offer here is just how the makers managed to produce such a stubbornly laugh free effort. Don’t say I didn’t warn you if you subject yourself this.

Darkmatt Rating: ö (original French title: le merde panther?)

"Stop the film, I want to get the hell out of this rubbish!!"

Darkmatters: H O ME

No comments: