"loved the poster, not the movie"
The Fog
Dir. Rupert Wainwright
Reviewed by Matt Adcock
Heard the one about how exactly a hundred years ago, off the rocky shore of an isolated Northern California town, a ship of lepers seeking refuge was betrayed by the town's founding fathers and burned, dooming everyone aboard?
Well you have now - but what if the ghosts of the long-dead mariners returned from their watery graves to exact revenge? Shrouded within a supernatural CGI fog, the ghosts trap the residents of the remote community, intent on seeking out the descendants of those who founded the town...and killing anyone who stands in their murderous but ever so dull path.
Just for a nanosecond I thought I was going to enjoy this - as it started to the top tune 'Sugar We're Going Down' by Falloutboy... But alas this fog stinks the place up with softcore 'horror' that is just not horrible enough and as they say about salt that loses its saltiness... good only to be thrown out and trampled underfoot!
Best scene:
Elizabeth Williams: "Let's go back home."
Nick Castle: "And have some crazy sex?"
They do... in a shower!?
If I tell you that this is about as good as Boogeyman or WhiteNoise you'll know if you want to see it (i.e. if you're not a horror fan you might actually think it's OK)...
Darkmatt Rating: ΓΆΓΆ (WEAK WEAK WEAK, but OK production values)
"not even the lovely Maggie Grace can make The Fog worth a look"
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