"that noise you hear... it's the sound of sucking"
White Noise (15)
Dir. Geoffrey Sax
Reviewed by Matt Adcock
Did you know that apparently the voices of the dead are all around you – and all it takes to receive an ‘overtly threatening message’ from the other side is to leave your TV or radio un-tuned… Yes if White Noise is to be believed, (and it appears to want to be – despite being directed by the bloke who used to make the Cannon & Ball TV show), then the dead are queuing up to send spooky messages through the dubious paranormal theory of EVP (Electronic Voice Phenomenon) – it seems people are still dying to get on TV…
Anyway, this is the mildly creepy story about an architect, Jonathan Rivers (Michael ‘best Batman – at least until Christian Bale came along’ Keaton) sees him lose his wife and then get mobile phone calls, television messages and visions of her from the other side. It’s probably not the worst ghost film you’ll ever see (actually it might be if you don't get out much), it doesn’t scare enough though and although Keaton is good, you can’t help feeling that this really is a poor man’s Sixth Sense wannabe. Yes, some nasty ghosties turn up and there’s a serial killer subplot – of course – but White Noise is not a ‘must see’ film by any stretch of the imagination, in fact as my friend Mike pointed out "It Sucks!!"
And the whole “if you open a channel – those who want to ‘damage’ will come” argument could just as well relate to having a publicly accessible blog…
oh, wait a minute…
Darkmatt Rating: ö (rubbish)
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"Busted's TV show was very poor quality..."