Film Review: The Proposition

"mean and moody, and erm Irish... in this film at least"

The Proposition (18)
Dir. John Hillcoat

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

Welcome to the lawless Australian Outback, it’s 1880 and there’s serious trouble brewing…
WANTED: DEAD OR ALIVE – The ‘Burns’ Gang (that's Guy Pearce as coolest brother Charlie, Richard Wilson as youngest brother Mikey and big bad eldest brother Danny Huston who plays his character of Arthur like some Zen-like shaman outlaw, content to stare out at the massive outback day or night in contemplation… when not murdering, raping and generally misbehaving).
Step up Captain Stanley (a career best role for Ray Winstone), he’s the lawman tasked with bringing in the baddie Burn’ess and almost as soon as the scene setting credits have rolled, he’s managed to bag Charlie and Mikey… But of course it’s Arthur who he’s after so he gives Charlie the proposition of the title: for a pardon for himself and to save young Mikey from the hanging on Christmas Day, he must take out his older brother…
As the stylish poster tag line says: 3 Brothers, 1 must live, 1 must die, 1 must choose…

This is a heavy duty western (no Brokebacking to be found) and the cast is excellent, the ‘always cool’ Emily Watson is great as Stanley's wife Martha and I also loved John Hurt’s cameo as a vicious but well educated bounty hunter ‘Jellon Lamb’.

Written by the Aussie croner Nick Cave, this is a must see film for anyone who likes the semi-mystical side of Westerns and can stomach a serious amount of evil doing and gore… Empire gave it 4 stars and called it “Brutal, bloody and brilliant, this is superior filmmaking, and more evidence of the renaissance of the Australian film industry.” The BBC chip in with “exhausting and exhilarating; the film hugely entertaining and troubling. Watch it. Then watch it again.”

Darkmatt Rating: öööö (I loved it)


"so Bro... shall I just kill you now like?"

Darkmatters: H O ME

Darkmatters: Word Cloud '06

"what's your blog made of?"

Darkmatters: H O ME

V For Vendetta: First Reaction

"Kurt Loder over at MTV said: 'This Movie Will Kick Your Ass', I couldn't agree more..."

V For Vendetta
First reaction by Matt Adcock

V For Vendetta is the lavish big screen adaptation (by the Wachowskis 'Matrix' Bros no less) of Alan Moore and David Lloyd's revered 1980s graphic novel.

Will post full review when it hits (17 March) but having seen it today, I can confirm that this is right up there with SIN CITY in terms of capturing the look, feel and substance of the original material.

This is a 'must see' movie which delivers thrills, drama and stylish violence - set in a near future London which is scary in that 'just might happen if we're not careful' kind of way... Portman is great (and sexy even when she's bald), and she's ably supported by Hugo Weaving (as 'V' the black cloak, peaked hat, Guy Fawkes mask wearing hero).

Fans of quality film-making, graphic novels and dark dystopian futures, get excited and book your tickets now!!

"The test audience for V For Vendetta were unanimous in their praise"

Links

Matt Adcock Meets Natalie Portman

Are you a 'love match' for Natalie Portman?

Darkmatters: H O ME

Keira Knightley... annoys my wife!?

My wife really doesn't like Keira Knightley, she's often to be found complaining at how she's too thin, too whiney, speaks funny and is so over rated... Funny it didn't stop her loving the new Pride & Prejudice though!?

Anyway, unlike my lovely wife... I really do like miss Knightley and was quite sad that she didn't bag an Oscar this year.

Ah well, here's some cool photos of her anyway:


"Matt's token Oscars shot... nice dress"


"Keira looking very sexy... just check out those, err, lips!"


"Bad girl Keira getting it on with two blokes... that's just not right, is it?"


"Keira decided to show the gang-banging thugs her pert backside as a decoy"

Earlier post about Keira (cool photo)

Other screen females worthy of your attention:

Cameron Diaz

Leighton Meester

Jessica Alba's Ass

Natalie Portman

Darkmatters: H O ME

Film Review: The Fog

"loved the poster, not the movie"

The Fog
Dir. Rupert Wainwright

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

Heard the one about how exactly a hundred years ago, off the rocky shore of an isolated Northern California town, a ship of lepers seeking refuge was betrayed by the town's founding fathers and burned, dooming everyone aboard?

Well you have now - but what if the ghosts of the long-dead mariners returned from their watery graves to exact revenge? Shrouded within a supernatural CGI fog, the ghosts trap the residents of the remote community, intent on seeking out the descendants of those who founded the town...and killing anyone who stands in their murderous but ever so dull path.

Just for a nanosecond I thought I was going to enjoy this - as it started to the top tune 'Sugar We're Going Down' by Falloutboy... But alas this fog stinks the place up with softcore 'horror' that is just not horrible enough and as they say about salt that loses its saltiness... good only to be thrown out and trampled underfoot!

Best scene:
Elizabeth Williams: "Let's go back home."
Nick Castle: "And have some crazy sex?"
They do... in a shower!?

If I tell you that this is about as good as Boogeyman or WhiteNoise you'll know if you want to see it (i.e. if you're not a horror fan you might actually think it's OK)...

Darkmatt Rating: öö (WEAK WEAK WEAK, but OK production values)


"not even the lovely Maggie Grace can make The Fog worth a look"

Film Review: Stay

Stay (15)
Dir. Marc Forster

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

Between the worlds of the living and the dead there is a place you're not supposed to stay… It’s also a place you might feel like you’re in if you venture out to see this strange but stylish tale of life / death, art / suicide and love / trust. This is an intentionally weird and sometimes wonderful film that is likely to reach into your head and tie your frontal lobes together with its freaky twists and turns.
Director Marc ‘Finding Neverland’ Forster has waded deep out into David Lynch territory here and even though he has an excellent cast including Ewan McGregor and Naomi Watts, somehow the weirdness on offer doesn’t really work as well as it should. This doesn’t bode incredibly well for Forster’s next film either which is entitled ‘Stranger Than Fiction’ and is about a bloke who starts hearing voices narrating his life from inside his head!?
Anyway – Stay is about a depressed art student named Henry (played by upcoming star Ryan Gosling), one day he tells psychiatrist Sam (McGregor) that he's going to do himself in – in three days. From this point things get increasingly screwy, imagine a dark live action version of Wacky Wednesday but with dead people and time jumps rather than shoes on the wall and you’ll have some idea of what to expect. Naomi Watts is lovely as usual, McGregor is convincingly menaced by the reality dissolving all around him and there are some strikingly clever camera morphs between scenes but I wasn’t convinced that it was enough.But, is anything what it seems? Will Henry top himself in three days? Can Sam figure out the clues faster than the unsuspecting audience? Do you really care? It may be that I saw this too late at night to really ‘get’ what was going on but judging by the blank look on my friend Kevin’s face throughout, I’m not so sure that it was just me being dim… If films like Donnie Darko, Mulholland Drive or Identity float your boat, you don’t mind random blind chess players (Bob Hoskins in this case) suddenly turning into other people and can handle films which are firmly from the ‘style over content’ shelf, then maybe Stay is worth a look. But if you do see it, perhaps you’d be kind enough to let me know what the deal was with McGregor's trousers which are far too short for him in every single scene? Cheers.

Darkmatt Rating: ööö (stylish and weird... bit like me)


"Clue in here somewhere... but surely it's not that obvious painting!?"


"What do you mean... the clues are on the wall behind me?"

Darkmatters: H O ME

Film Review: The Matador

The Matador (15)
Dir. Richard Shepard

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

So, this Hitman and Salesman walk into a bar... Stop me if you’ve heard this one…
The Hitman (Pierce Brosnan no less) says:
“Margaritas always taste better in Mexico.”
The Salesman replies: “Yes they do.”
Raising an eyebrow in a way not entirely unreminiscent of a certain 007, the hitman looks him in the eye and nods:
“Margaritas and cock”.

And so it is that the witty screenplay of The Matador whips the carpet from under you every chance it gets… It’s funny and lightweight – Brosnan is great as the ‘anti Bond’ Julian Noble – a Hitman described as ‘a facilitator of fatalities’ who specializes in corporate gigs (helping to close deals with the assistance of a high powered rifle). Turns out though that Noble is experiencing something akin to a mid-life crisis – his Birthday assessment of his life: no real friends, no permanent home, no significant female and no planned future… And then he meets into Danny Wright ( Greg Kinnear) – the Salesman who seems to have modelled himself on the Simpson’s own Chris-tian-arooni Ned Flanders.

Brosnan has much fun being a deviant sexist scumbag but one that we are drawn to… On a ‘hit’ he is pestered by a young boy who says that his mother thinks he’s cute…
He looks over at the mum and then says to the kid:
"Tell your mother to lose 30lbs and 20 years. Then get back to me".

If you’re looking for something that is consistently entertaining, crude, funny and still manages to bring some real emotions to the party. The Matador is worthy of your time.

Darkmatt Rating: ööö (the name's not Bond... but that hardly matters)


"nice and sleazy does it"

Darkmatters: H O ME

Christian men... get WILD AT HEART

"you too will soon be leaping from large rocks"

Wild At Heart
by John Eldredge

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

Am reading this for the second time (in case I wan't quite wild enough after one reading)... Plus my church (Stopsley Baptist Church in Luton) has signed up a group for men to study this tome - then get wild and naked and fight each other (or something like that - will obviously keep you posted on developments...)

Was about to review it when I read this great piece about it in The Times:

"THEY are Britain's meek, mild-mannered Christian men whose most outrageous role model is Sir Cliff Richard and sole point of physical contact a limp handshake with the vicar after church.
But the stereotype of Britain's God-fearing males could soon become a thing of the past after the extraordinary success of a book urging Christian men to ditch their soft image and embrace a life of adventure. Swimming among killer whales and tangling with a bull moose are just two of the practical tips offered in Wild at Heart by the American evangelist John Eldredge, who calls for men to rediscover God bmodelingng themselves on heroic warriors such as Henry V and Mel Gibson's interpretation of William Wallace.

The book, which has already sold 1.5 million copies in English and has been translated into 16 languages, urges its readers to go back to basics by fighting noble battles, rescuing women and finding adventure in their lives.
It declares: A Battle to fight. An Adventure to live. A Beauty to rescue. This is what a man longs for. This is what makes him come alive. There is something fierce, passionate and wild in the heart of every man. That is how he bears the image of God."

So... 1. A battle to fight - like, erm, say the battle of Hastings:


2. An Adventure to live (or at least watch on DVD? - does that count?)


and 3. A beauty to rescue (or at least help out the pool!?)

"Leighton Meester... she's worth rescuing and all that!!"

I'm feeling WILDER by the minute!!

Darkmatters: H O M E

UK Movie Goers Shame Nation...

"not big, or clever... Date Movie is dross - don't do it!!"

Sometimes you have to wonder at the mentality of people in this fair Isle...

This week Date Movie took top spot at UK Box Office...

Making £1,288,089 in its first week!

Even the yanks had the decency not to let Date Movie top their chart...

Note to British public - please THINK before going to see crap movies like this (you'll only encourage them!)

Darkmatters: H O ME

Film Review: The Adventures of Sharkboy & Lavagirl in 3-D

The Adventures of Sharkboy & Lavagirl in 3-D (PG)
Dir. Robert Rodriguez

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

One of the benefits of having two cool sons is that I have to devote copious amounts of time to Playstation, Star Wars Miniature battles, make believe superhero challenges, football in the park and whatever other boyish pursuits are flavour of the month – Yu Gi Oh! etc… It’s tough…
Experiencing movies with them is another joy – I’m almost envious of the fact that there are so many cool films out there for them as they get older… We’re currently in a Raiders of Lost Ark, Star Wars I – VI, Spy Kids, Narnia and Harry Potter kind of stage…

Tonight we watched The Adventures of Sharkboy & Lavagirl in 3-D – complete with the 3D glasses and all. The boys both loved it (and I think Luke was quietly taken with Lava Girl, but hey that’s 8 year olds for you)… It was a fun, madcap adventure that owed a massive debt to The Wizard of Oz but infused enough superhero styling into the mix to make it stand as its own film. I’m not convinced that it needed to be in 3D and am glad that the DVD has the 2D full colour version on it too (which we have to watch at the weekend according to my boys).

The script and plot are aimed squarely at a child audience – I found it amusing enough but have yet to read another ‘grown up’ positive review… Maybe you have to watch it not just with the 3D glasses but with the eyes of a kid…

As Neil Smith over at the BBC said: “Shark Boy works fine as a Ritalin substitute for kids with ADHD. Their mums and dads, though, will be reaching for the paracetamol.”

I found that a beer worked OK for me (and maybe even helped my enjoyment of it).

Darkmatt Rating: ööö (worth checking if you have kids)


"Hey... someone took off their 3D glasses..."

Earlier preview of Sharkboy & Lavagirl

Darkmatters: H O ME

Bio Love Match: Natalie Portman

Ever wondered if you meant to end up with a beautiful celeb partner?

Not that I have or anything - being very happily married - But I couldn't resist checking out my 'bio-rhythm love match compatibility' with miss Portman in advance of meeting her next week... Matt To Meet Natalie Portman

The 'completely random probably' online compatibility engine put Natalie and I at 73%... not bad, might have to mention that to her!?

Here are some others that would be worth considering:

"Louise... ah, back in the day, she was going to be mine..."


"Maybe Madchen Amick is your ideal love partner... you can only hope I guess!"

Click here to Match yourself with Natalie Portman or some other celeb

Darkmatters: H O ME

Film Review: Sympathy for Lady Vengeance

"It's all in the eyes..."

Sympathy for Lady Vengeance (18)
Dir. Chan-wook Park

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

“Listen carefully. Everyone make mistakes. But if you commit a sin, you have to make atonement for that sin. Atonement, do you know what that means? Big Atonement for big sins. Small Atonement for small sins.” So sayeth Geum-ja Lee (an excellent Yeong-ae Lee) in this concluding part of the ‘Vengeance Trilogy’ from Chan-wook Park.

Sympathy for Lady Vengeance is a brutal, compelling and painful film – shot through with beauty and disposable philosophy. It’s not always easy to watch but it’s never less than captivating. The plot goes like this: Geum-ja plans to take revenge against the man responsible for a heinous crime which led to her taking the rap and serving 19 years in prison… And if you ever thought that Prisoner Cell Block H had a handle on a typical female inmate population – Sympathy for Lady Vengeance has a far more eccentric bunch… prostitutes, bank robbers and spies rub more than just shoulders with a chubby lesbian called ‘the witch’ whose sexual demands on the heroine are deeply erm, deep… eweeeuurrgh…

As a parent I was completely sucked in to the ‘this basta*rd must die’ rhetoric – after an especially harrowing scene where the pure evil of the child killing villain is exposed in distressing playback of his child victim’s pleas for mercy (which he used as ransom demands even after he had killed the kids – because he just didn’t like children!?)… But is vengeance the answer? Is it even enough? It certainly makes for good cinema!!

Lady Vengeance is Park exploring his feminine side after the cool Sympathy for Mr. Vengeance and the intense Oldboy. And for me it was a dead cert hit (the BBC described it as having: “stylish visuals, surreal fantasy, and shocking violence” i.e. ‘just my cup of tea!!’).

All in all Sympathy for Lady Vengeance is a powerful and satisfying ending to a great trilogy… I can’t wait to see what Park does next!!


Darkmatt Rating: öööö (let he who is without sin cast the first stone…)

Darkmatters: H O ME

National SERENITY Day in the UK

"so good... you simply have to Aim to Misbehave!!"

People of the UK rejoice!! Serenity is released on DVD today and it's great...
Even as you're reading this, I've taken the day off work and am watching the DVD...

Mmmm hhhhaaa - sure beats working!!

Click here to read My Review of Serenity

There are some great extras- including:

• deleted scenes (with optional commentary)
• an introduction and feature commentary by Joss Whedon himself
• outtakes
• features on the Firefly and 'The Story of Earth That Was'
• a Summer Glau slow motion naked wrestling featurette*
  
  
  "Inara... I'd buy that for a dollar... always handy to have a 'companion' to hand"
  
  
  "People of UK... buy our DVD... it will change you life!"

*not really

"Summer lovin... happens so fast etc etc"

Darkmatters: H O ME

Film Review: Lucky Number Slevin

"Bruce Willis... doing what he does best..."

Lucky Number Slevin (18)
Dir. Paul McGuigan

Reviewed by Matt Adcock


Do you feel lucky? So there I was in New York, I’d gone to stay with my friend Nick because I was having a very bad day but little did I know that almost as soon I arrived, things would get a whole lot worse…
On the plus side I met this cute girl (Lucy Liu), she’s fun and sparkly, good with the witty one-liners and not averse to getting physical. On the down side I was mugged, abducted, forced to kill a mobster’s son, and saddled with the massive gambling debts of my ‘pal’ Nick who was nowhere to be found…
If you can forgive Lucky Number Slevin its stupid title, what you basically have is a tasty case of North By Northwest mixed with Pulp Fiction and blended with Revolver. This is a fun crime con caper with mistaken identity and crunching violence at its core. If you saw the excellent ‘Kiss Kiss Bang Bang’ last year you’ll have some idea of what to expect... guns, double crossings, wise cracks and tension.
Sir Ben Kingsley (called ‘The Rabbi’ because, well, he is a Rabbi) and Morgan Freeman (known only as ‘The Boss’) are the heads of two powerful crime syndicates, each vying to be the new King of New York. Once they were on the same team but now it’s war between these two. It all goes back to a drugged racehorse but it ends with an impressive Kansas City Shuffle – if you don’t get me, you just need to go see it.
Josh Hartnett does an okay job as the put upon hero Slevin but star of this show is Bruce Willis who delivers one his coolest ever performances in a role he was born to play – the unstoppable world class assassin Mr. Goodkat. Goodkat is so cool that he deserves his own film spin off film series, after all, how could you not love moustachioed Brucie with a mullet!?
Brit director Paul ‘Gangster No. 1’ McGuigan shows that he can mix slick action with multiple red herrings in a genuinely amusing and gripping film that will make you flinch at the violence but keep you rapt by the fun predicament of its players.
Of course nothing is as it seems but with great dialogue, cleverly misleading flashbacks and a satisfying wrap up – Lucky Number Slevin is the one to put your money on this week.

Darkmatt Rating: öööö (more fun than you'd imagine, more violent probably too)

Darkmatters: H O ME

Film Review: Azumi

 

Azumi (18) 

Dir. Ryuhei Kitamura 

Reviewed by Matt Adcock (@cleric20)

What do you get if you take the spirit of Elektra Assassin, the stylised presentation of a cult Chambara film classic and the over the top violence of a Tarrantino movie? 

Throw a stunning actress like Aya Ueto into the mix in the title role (it doesn’t hurt that she is the living embodiment of hot ‘Kasumi’ from the Dead or Alive video game series) mix it up with Manga style set pieces and a delicious assortment of baddies… 

Have it directed by the guy who made the outlandish zombie/yakuza/criminal/time-travelling mini-epic Versus and basically you get the best samurai action film ever made and its name is Azumi!! 

 Azumi is pure ass-kicking entertainment and what it loses in-depth, it makes up for with eye candy, gratuitous violence, and a dark sense of humour. 

As Mark Pollard over at Kung Fu Cinema says: “The story of Azumi is adapted from a manga title of the same name by Yu Koyama. Its a little hard to swallow, but through the course of the film the diminutive title character as played by pop starlet Aya Ueto will cut her way through no less than 200 warriors made up of samurai, ninja, deranged mercenaries, and mobs of Road Warrior-inspired cutthroats. She reaches a gruesome climax with one of most memorable beheadings seen in film.” 

Darkmatt Rating: ööööö (excellent, a must see, female samurai action overload)

 

"That not a nasty rash... that's the life blood of her last opponent..."

 

"looks so cute... but deadly with a sword!!" 

BUY MY NOVEL click this pic>>>

  

Matt to meet Natalie Portman

"she's gorgeous, has married a Jedi, stripped in Closer and now goes bald (and naked - see below) in V for Vendetta"

Yes - Miss Portman is coming to London to promote her new film V for Vendetta.
I'll be there to ask her some questions and report back on what the film is like.
Other 'talent' at the day will be Stephen Fry, John Hurt and Joel Silver... nice.
Colour me 'excited' - she's a babe and a half!!



"tastefully done... this is going to be a great film!!"

Darkmatters: H O M E

Birthday Bonus... BBC Newsbeat link to B'day Post

"look closely (click this image to see a bigger version) - that's me - the 4th link down..."

Almost fame at last... Much love to the Radio One team!!

Matt's Birthday 35

Darkmatters: H O M E

Matt's Birthday Number 35

"relationship marketing to the max... cheers for the B'day video email from my 'friends' at Guinness!"

So - turned 35 today. Am grateful to the God and the cool people in my life - friends, family, random new contacts and fans who have got in touch via this blog!? - You make it all worth while...

Oh, got some great gifts too...

DVDs including: Lost - series one, Desperate Housewives - series one, R-Point, The Corpse Bride, Intacto and erm, Ninja Terminator

Books: Richard Morgan's Market Forces and Woken Furies, The Pornographer's Diaries etc

Other cool things like CDs, Rioja, Chocolate and Sci-Fi toys... You're never that old I guess...

Birthday film was a Lucky Number Slevin / Sympathy for Lady Vengeance double bill (both excellent - reviews up soon). Wife made me great cooked breakfast, is taking me out for dinner later and lets just say that watching Desperate Housewives whilst recieving special attention from her was something else!?

Anyway - last year I posted links to my 5 favourite recent blog posts and so in order to maintain the tradition here are this year's pick:

Leighton Meester - SURFACE

Altered Carbon

Meeting Ziyi Zhang

Return of Carter USM

My Movie picks for 2006

...

Last Year's B'day Post

Darkmatters: H O M E

Game Review: BLACK PS2

"Go in - all guns blazing... it's brilliant fun!!"

BLACK (rated M / 16+)

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

Described as 'Gun Porn'... EA's new PS2 shooter BLACK pretty much lives up to that moniker.
Your mission: hunt down and kill (by any means necessary - although that mostly means shooting them with an impressive array of guns) the AI scumbags who have turned Veblensk City into a war zone...

So after some hours of play (couldn't resist making this an early Birthday present to myself) I can report these things:
BLACK is better than Halo and Killzone (my previous 'top 2' FPS games) in just about every area of the single player game but unlike those two, there is no multliplayer fun to be had here...

The level of scenery destruction is immensly satisfying - and can be used tactically, you can't hide behind a car for long as if it's being turned into Swiss cheese!!

Graphically, BLACK is possibly the best game yet released on the trusty PS2 (and the Xbox version is identical).

The scenarios are wonderful recreations that draw obvious inspiration from the very best gunbattles ever delivered on the big screen...

If you've ever even thought that you might enjoy shooting stuff for fun, you need this game... sign up today: www.black.ea.com

Initial Darkmatt Rating: ööööö (challenging and explosive... BLACK is a nitrous fuelled adrenaline rush of pure gun action)

"If BLACK was a girl... it might be the rather tasty Christina Ricci (who ironically looks very good in black herself)..."


"see how I blow the very floor out from under you scumbags!!"

Darkmatters: H O M E

The Bible on the PSP... righteous!!

"it's the Good Book... and it does make a nice break from GTA: Liberty City Stories"

The righteous types over a PSP Updates have posted a link to a download of the Bible for use on the PSP!! This is handy for religious types like myself who sometimes stray from the true path - having a quick reference copy of the Bible to hand may well help prevent that!?

Download: [Bible In Basic English for PSP]

Post about the Bible Game on the PS2

Darkmatters: H O M E

Film Review: Aeon Flux

Aeon Flux (15)
Dir. Karyn Kusama

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

It’s been said that “stupid is as stupid does…” and unfortunately Aeon Flux is stupid over and above the call of duty.
But does that necessarily mean it isn’t a decent film? Yes, yes it really does.
Director Karyn ‘Girlfight’ Kusama has taken the cool unsettling, future shock MTV Television animated series of the same name and given it a live action lobotomy. The weird plot, which worked in cartoon form, really doesn’t translate at all well and what we end up with is an hour and a half with nothing better to do than stare at Charlize Theron in various figure-hugging spandex outfits. Erm, which of course isn’t the worst way to spend an hour and a half but even after such red hot eye candy you’ll still come out wondering how an action adventure could be so dull.
Set 400 years in the future, it seems that a disease has wiped out the majority of the earth's population and those who are left are holed up in a walled city called Bregna. But something isn’t right in Bregna (and I mean apart from the fact that some of the people have had a new pair of hands grafted onto the bottom of their legs to replace their feet!?). The ruling elite are corrupt and it’s up to special underground agents like Aeon Flux to take the fight to those in power. It seems that everything on offer here has been done in some form before and better somewhere else, it’s like having a major attack of déjà vu. British talent like Jonny Lee Miller’s smirking baddie pop up from time to time but even Pete Postlethwaite’s amusing cameo can’t save this film from its preposterously pretentious set up. Theron does at least try to take it all seriously but the script only calls for little more than her showing off her perfect figure in various gymnastic poses – and occasionally blowing away bad guys.
I guess that if you like watching fine looking ladies in skin-tight cat suits and have the ability to turn off the rational thought areas of your brain, then Aeon Flux might be one of the best films you’re ever likely to see… For the majority of the film going public though, it won’t ever be much more than Theron’s ‘Catwoman’ and anyone who saw Catwoman knows how damning that statement is…

Poster Quote: "the future might be retarded but it sure looks good... "

Darkmatt Rating: ööö (three stars for Miss Theron's outfits only!!)

"Now... where did I put my costume?"

Darkmatters: H O M E

Book Review: Flashman

Flashman (The Flashman Papers Vol. 1, 1839-1842)
By George MacDonald Fraser

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

Now I'm not the world's biggest fan of historical warfare novels but when my friend and neighbour Dave suggested that I give this a read I thought 'yeah maybe'.
Then the bugger (no offence Dave) comes round and lends me it so I have no excuse... and torture me in most unpleasant ways if this wasn't a darn good read...

What's is all about? Well - here's the promo blurb which itself is a fun introduction:

"The Flashman papers, which had apparently lain untouched for fifty years, in a tea chest, until they were found in the Ashby saleroom, were carefully wrapped in oilskin covers. From correspondence found in the first packet, it is evident that their original discovery by [Flashman's] relatives in 1915 after the great soldier's death caused considerable consternation; they seem to have been unanimously against publication of their kinsman's autobiography - one can readily understand why - and the only wonder is that the manuscript was not destroyed."

So this is the first instalment of the Flashman Papers and it sees the “fag-roasting rotter” from Tom Brown's Schooldays commence his military career as a reluctant secret agent in Afghanistan. Expelled from Rugby for drunkenness, and none too welcome at home after seducing his father's mistress, the young Flashman embarks on a military career with Lord Cardigan's Hussars. En route to Afghanistan, our hero hones his skills as a soldier, duellist, imposter, coward and amorist (mastering all 97 ways of Hindu love-making during a brief sojourn in Calcutta), before being pressed into reluctant service as a secret agent. His Afghan adventures culminate in a starring role in that great historic disaster, the Retreat from Kabul. He puts so much effort into being the lazy cad that you can't help but feel some sort of affinity for his predicaments…All in all this was a LOT more fun than I expected it to be!

Darkmatt Rating: ööö ("Flash-man, Ahhh Ha, he'll save everyone of us...")


"a random saucy shot of Kate Beckinsale? in a review of a amorous cad? whatever next?"

Film Review: March of the Penguins

March of the Penguins (u)
Dir. Luc Jacquet

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

In the harshest place on Earth, love finds a way – yes even in Hitchin there was mucho smoocho this St Valentines Day, and my lovely wife even rustled up some mouth watering Strawberry Soufflés… delicious!!
But even as I pause to consider just what a lucky guy I am, my thoughts go out to the thousands of Emperor Penguins (especially the males) and I smile as I take another bite of penguin pie… Mmmm
Actually no penguins were eaten or harmed in the writing of this review… It’s been a long long time but Luton cinema finally got hold of Luc Jacquet's ‘March Of The Penguins’ which has astoundingly become something like the second most successful documentary ever made…
The plot concerns the love-life cycle of the little waddling critters and we follow them as they emerge from their ocean playground and trudge across 70 miles of ice floe to their breeding grounds.
Seems like a bit of a track just for a shag… but hey, it makes great relaxing cinema. I was hoping to see the ‘first-person narration from the perspective of the penguins’ version but we got the ‘third-person narration by Morgan Freeman’ US edition – which is probably nowhere near as avant garde or strange as the original French cut… But damn they are cute.
It’s soppy but it’s sweet and it even has some brief violence as predatory beasts of one sort or another make off with the occasional chick. Nicely done but not really worth all the fuss.

Poster Quote: "so I walk 70 miles and she says she's got a headache!? "

Darkmatt Rating: ööö (chilly willies but warm hearts)

Darkmatters: H O M E

Film Review: Final Destination 3

Final Destination 3 (15)
Dir. James Wong

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

Just when you thought it was safe to ride a roller coaster… And I don’t mean the one in your local park run by pikeys who wouldn’t know the words ‘safety check’ if they were to be spelt out in burning dead bodies across the rest of their ‘travelling fair’…

Yes, Final Destination 3 continues the effective slick, sick, ‘how will the next one die?’ voyeurism of parts 1 & 2. You know the score – babe (Mary Elizabeth Winstead in this case) has a vision of going off the rails and finding out first hand if there is an afterlife via a nasty roller coaster crash… Which I swear might make you think twice before going on one for a while… She gets off and some of her friends do too – then it crashes and death stalks the survivors in gleefully grim ways. Will any of them escape? Will death be back for part 4? Writer / Director James Wong certainly returns to the franchise (he also directed the first Final Destination) and he hasn’t lost his knack for delivering scenes that made members of the audience I saw this with shout things at the screen like “Oh my God that had to hurt!” and “Eewweeuuu – that’s the sickest thing I’ve ever seen” – maybe I shouldn’t have taken my elderly mum with me but I guess you live and learn…

The BBC describes Final Destination 3 as "AN ORGY OF CHEERFUL CARNAGE" but they don’t seem to like it… I guess these films are kind of litmus tests that can help you find out ‘are you sick in the head?’ – Oops looks like I’ve failed this one because I’ve really enjoyed all 3 Final Destinations so far and would certainly go see a part 4 (although it would be scraping the barrel to have the exact same plot again, with just a different accident at the start, again). I had the not too great a pleasure of seeing Urban Legends 3: Bloody Mary on DVD just a couple of days before seeing this and can say for certain that the Final Destination films are far superior to the Urban Legend series. Case in point here is that both part 3’s have a ‘death by sunbed’ scene – and whilst the UL one is slightly unpleasant, the FD is viciously over the top to the point that you can’t quite believe it… and it sweetly jumps from the twin tanning beds to the coffins in a nice bit of scene changing.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that you should go and watch hapless good looking teens dying in bizarre ways for your entertainment – but if you have the hankering for it… Final Destination 3 delivers.

Poster Quote: "Death wants to see you outside"

Darkmatt Rating: ööö (nailguns are not playthings...)


"don't look now but you know I think there might be someone behind us..."

Darkmatters: H O M E

Sienna Miller - talks Casanova

"Mmmm it's Miller time"

Sienna Miller… Casanova Promo Material

It is, says Sienna Miller with a huge smile, a dream job. Working for one of her cinematic heroes on Casanova in Venice and playing a character, Francesca, who is “just fantastic.”

The delightful Miss Miller is unabashed in her enthusiasm. And why not? At 23 she is clearly enjoying herself and proving too, that’s she’s got the talent to match the belief that has been shown in her by some top filmmakers including Lasse Hallstrom on Casanova who says, quite simply: “She’s a film star, make no mistake. And a pleasure to work with.”

So far, Miller has played a small but undoubtedly eye catching role in the British crime movie Layer Cake, opposite Daniel Craig, and won acclaim for her performance as a needy, insecure young American woman who falls prey to the predatory Alfie (Jude Law) in Charles Shyer’s remake of the sixties classic. And if that wasn’t enough, she has also recently made her West End stage debut in As You Like It at the Wyndham Theatre.

But playing the feisty Francesca opposite Heath Ledger in the title role of Casanova has proved to be one of the most vivid experiences of her career so far.

Q: Casanova is a great role. How did you get the part?

A: It’s kind of one of those things. They look everywhere - London and New York and LA and your agent, if they are good, puts you up and you read the script. And it’s the same process for me at the moment where if I read something and I love it, I start begging (laughs).

Q: Are you going to be typecast as the girl who can tame the men?

A: Francesca in Casanova is highly intelligent and keeps her corset tightly shut, which is good for all those people who are saying I have a talent for taking my kit off. (laughs).

Q: What about all the tabloid attention that you have been getting, particularly back in the UK?

A: Don’t get me on to that! (laughs). You have to accept it and you have to be gracious about it but of course I would certainly rather it wasn’t there – be it good or bad. And I know I could have had it a lot worse than I have had it.

Q; What’s it like being on location in Venice?

A: Well, you’re in Venice which is like Disneyland for adults. And you’ve got hordes of people coming in and out. I mean, I would think logistically if you are a producer it has to be your nightmare working here, I think it’s impossible to recreate the light anywhere else.


Darkmatters: H O M E