Darkmatters Review: Shark Night 3D

Shark Night 3D (15)

Dir. David R. Ellis

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

Just when you thought is was safe to go back in the cool clear blu(ray) water… along comes a trashy Jaws rip-off which apes the success of the fun horror chomp-em-up Piranha 3D…

"ready for my close up!"

So first things first – Shark Night 3D might have sharks and be in 3D - as long as you’ve got a 3D TV, but most of it isn’t at night. But then I guess Shark mild afternoon doesn’t really have the same ring to it.

Directed David Ellis who has form for nastily offing teens from both Final Destination 2 and The Final Destination gives it a fair go bringing in not just big toothy sharks but also monsters of the human kind who are in league with them!?

"it's behind you!?"

The shark bait is an obligatory selection of hot looking college kids led by the foxy blonde bikini wearer Sara Palski (Sara Paxton) and her entourage including horny dudes, like repressed Nick (Dustin Milligan) and eye candy girls like Beth (Katherine McPhee). You can play horror bingo all the way through – stupid decisions, gratuitous posing and general dimness ‘I’ll take this mortally wounded pal across shark-infested waters on a waterski – what could possibly go wrong?’

The Louisiana setting works well and gives the film a slightly gothic edge – one that is helped no end by the film's human villains, a gruesome twosome of dodgy but cute Dennis (Chris Carmack) and his oddball hillbilly pal Carl (Jimmy Lee Jr.), who packs a set of sharpened teeth which could rival the sharks!?

"the girls - only picked for their brains"

The CGI shark are actually pretty cool, backed up with some nice robot efforts too but they are criminally under used. They do get some fun moments such as jumping out of the water to munch on passing teens and smashing through protective cages etc. but there was scope for more fish action...

Out of a potential 5 you have to go with a Darkmatters:

ööö

3 (pure trash schlock of the fun kind)

"miss Paxton minus the sharks"

UNDERWORLD: AWAKENING DAY

Underworld: Awakening hits the UK

Matt Adcock

Yep it's the potential movie event of 2012!?

"remember Selene from Underworld?"

Underworld: Awakening brings a stunning new dimension to the epic battle between Vampires and Lycans, as the first film in the franchise to shoot in 3D. Kate Beckinsale, star of the first two films, returns in her lead role as the vampire warrior-ess Selene, who escapes imprisonment to find herself in a world where humans have discovered the existence of both Vampire and Lycan clans, and are conducting an all-out war to eradicate both immortal species.

"still shooting by the looks of things"

Can it really be 9 years since the first film? And more importantly - can the 4th entry in the series be any good?

Here's a snippet of an early review:

 "As a fan of the franchise, Underworld: Awakening feels like the movie I've been waiting for ever since the first one was released in 2003. Beckinsale has never been better, the story and action finally blends together a bit more smoothly, and incorporating humans into the Vampire/Lycan war breathes a new life into the series." thehorrorchick (read the full review here: Dread Central).

"say goodbye"

Full Darkmatters review this weekend...

Link to: Kate Beckinsale in a 'who has the best cinematic catsuit' stand off!?

Link to Darkmatters review of  UNDERWORLD: EVOLUTION

Adele - bigger than Call of Duty (in 2011)

"headshot"

Darkmatters marvels at just how large Adele is... 

With 2 entries in the annual 'best selling' list and the overall number 1 position - Adele can be crowned as 'queen of sales 2011'... Nothing could compete with her, even the mighty Modern Warfare 3 met its match!?

Here's the official entertainment chart for 2011

2011 ENTERTAINMENT - TOP 10

 1 - 21 - Adele - 3,924,985 - Album
 2 - Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3 - 2,814,609 - Game
 3 - Harry Potter &The Deathly Hallows – Part 1 - 2,532,551 - Video
 4 - FIFA 12 - 2,193,302 - Game
 5 - Harry Potter & The Deathly Hallows – Part 2 - 2,147,606 - Video
 6 - The Inbetweeners Movie - 2,074,652 - Video
 7 - The King’s Speech - 1,882,175 - Video
 8 - Christmas - Michael Buble - 1,349,195 - Album
 9 - Doo-Wops & Hooligans - Bruno Mars - 1,264,763 - Album
 10 - 19 - Adele - 1,264,273 - Album

Full top 40 chart can be found HERE

"next year look out for the Adele being a playable character in COD Black Ops 2"

Darkmatters Review: War Horse

War Horse (12a)

Dir. Steven Spielberg

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

Hello horse fans, you join us for the first marathon World War One big screen steeplechase - the going is good to firm but bogged down with far too many soggy areas…

Soft-hearted billionaire director Spielberg turns this children’s novel / hit play into a long-winded film and leisurely crafts a lavish but oddly pedestrian ode to possibly the bravest equine beastie ever.

Spielberg's film are mostly viewed as cinematic phenomena but War Horse is a bit of a hard sell after it has been worked up with plenty of sentimentality by the likes of Richard ‘Four Weddings’ Curtis. Yes the cinematography is gorgeous and there are a couple of exciting scenes including a stunning Calvary charge thanks to the WWI setting but my son (who’d read the book and was keen to see the film) actually fell asleep about half way through!?

"let slip the erm, horses of war?"

So why is War Horse slightly lame rather than the epic thoroughbred it could (should?) have been? It’s certainly not the fault of the lead horse ‘Joey’ – you’d be hard pressed to find a nobler looking or engaging horse – if they gave Oscars to animals he’s be a dead cert to bag it... Nor really can the blame for the dramatic flatness be totally shouldered by the competent cast. What is missing here is the ability of the film to actually connect and make you care more than mildly about anything you’re witnessing.

Joey’s odyssey from humble farm beginnings through to messianic wartime icon certainly had the potential to send shivers down the viewers spines and grab their imaginations, so it’s hard to explain quite why the overall reaction isn’t better. I found the best scene to be the no-man's-land sequence where a British and a German soldier work together to free Joey from his barbed wire / near death predicament. It really stands out because it feels less ‘forced’ than the most of the other scenes. Eventually the clunky plot limps along to the very Hollywood conclusion, which leaves those audience members who are still awake with a lump in their throats and probably a newfound desire to buy a pony.

This War Horse should have been a cinematic thoroughbred but it falls short in a blub of sentimentality. Overall it’s decent enough but not a classic, maybe Spielberg’s forthcoming Robopocalypse will deliver more?

Out of a potential 5 you have to go with a Darkmatters:

ööö

3 (lovely looking horsey droppings)

Awesomeness ööö – Cavalry charge is the definition of awesome
Laughs öö – Not very funny
Horror öö – Moments of grimness but mostly bland
Babes ö – Horsey women aren't my cup of tea
Spiritual Enlightenment öö - A boy, a horse, an implausible plotline... Ahhh...

"nowhere is safe from foot sniffing horses"

Darkmatters Review: Colombiana

Colombiana (15)

Dir. Olivier Megaton

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

There’s something undeniably cool about having a smokin hot female assassin be an unstoppable killing machine – and Zoe Saldana delivers a great performance in the lead role of Cataleya, a female with a killer body and vengeance on her mind. We meet Cataleya back when she’s just nine, bad men come to her house and kill her parents – she flees and manages to get to the U.S. Embassy where she is given a passport in exchange for a memory card that which holds the data which the baddies want.

The action then jumps from Colombia to Chicago when Cataleya has grown up and honed her skills to become a walking death dealer. approaches Her ‘hits’ are very nicely staged – from getting herself locked up in the same cellblock as a target through to literally sending a baddie to ‘sleep with the fishes’ – this girl rocks some slick assassin moves and leaves a lipstick drawn picture of an Amazonian orchid (also called Cataleya) on the target’s chests.

"how to make an entrance!?"

Of course it isn’t long before her under cover operations draw unwanted attention and she has to move to the end game of finally getting revenge for her parents deaths. Cue corrupt CIA and dogged policeman tracking her down for different reasons plus mob cartel heavies coming and wiping out even her extended family – just we’re fully on her side when she dispatches them in the climactic assault on the big bosses lair.

Oliver Megaton (love his surname) brings the requisite frantic pace and jump cut style of filming, taking every chance to show off Saldana’s perfect butt in HD. This is a trashy, flashy movie that won’t change your world but will entertain greatly.

Colombiana delivers a good time of high-octane thrills and spills. It’s not quite up there with Leon in terms of Besson’s efforts but is a lot of violent escapist fun.

Out of a potential 5 you have to go with a Darkmatters:

ööö1/2 

3.5 - sexy and deadly (great combination)

"Zoe Saldana... window dressing!?"

Darkmatters Review: The Iron Lady

The Iron Lady (12)

Dir. Phyllida Lloyd

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

This isn’t actually an ambitious sequel to animated sci-fi flick The Iron Giant, no this is an equally far fetched tale of how a female life form somehow assimilated the position of utmost political power in the UK.

Yes, whatever your political alliance, the name ‘Margaret Thatcher’ will undoubtedly resonate deep feelings within anyone who lived through her reign of terror from 4 May 1979 – 28 November 1990. Played incredibly here by Meryl Streep – who must surely by up for serious award nominations for this role – the film depicts the titular ‘Iron Lady’ in her confused and unstable elderly years. As she struggles to come to terms with the loss of her husband Denis (Jim Broadbent), with whom she still talks and interacts even though he’s no more than a figment of her imagination. This gives the filmmakers the plot device to run through a highlight reel of Thatcher’s ‘greatest hits’ – jumping between the high profile elements of her time in power including the miners strike, the Falklands war and the poll tax riots.

The most interesting areas are the quick dip into the early years of how young Margaret managed to blast her way through the many barriers of gender and class to make her way into the male-dominated world. The film is also touching in the love story of her and Denis and the price she had to pay for her single minded pursuit of power.

"We are the champions..."

Unfortunately, the overall film is lumpy, schmaltzy and liable to test your viewing endurance even with Streep’s powerhouse performance. Yes Thatcher is and was an extraordinary and complex woman but The Iron Lady leads viewers very firmly (and mostly overly sympathetically) through her career.

Supporting cast such as Olivia Colman, who plays Maggie’s daughter Carol do well with their limited screen time and the special effects that bring about the aging process as scarily effective (possibly overly so as there are not many people who want to spend cash to stare at strange wrinkled synthetic elderly make up effects for almost two hours).

The Iron Lady really might be Streep’s finest-ever performance, but it unfortunately just isn’t enough to make up for the pedestrian filmmaking and propaganda-ish spoon-feeding of very selected highlights.

Tory boys and their ladies may lap up the blue rinse flashbacks with a “rah rah” and a wave of their ‘I heart Maggie’ flags. Fans of quality films however are likely to be unconvinced and unimpressed by this docile effort – Streep’s performance deserves to be in a much better film!

Out of a potential 5 you have to go with a Darkmatters:

öö1/2

2.5 – weak overall but merit for Streep's Iron grip!

Awesomeness öö – nothing a but a good time for the Tory Right

Laughs öö – not meant to be funny but sometimes it is

Horror öö – if wrinkles freak you out then be afraid

Babes ö – not happening

Spiritual Enlightenment öö – blues for the soul

Trailer:

Second Opinion:

http://www.guardian.co.uk/film/2012/jan/08/the-iron-lady-review

PS VITA - Sumioni: Demon Arts

Kick Some Demon Butt / Stop To Admire The Beautiful Artwork 

Matt Adcock

"unleash the ink god!"

It's not every day that you come across a side-scrolling action videogame that looks like an interactive work of art...

But thanks to Sumioni: Demon Arts on the PS VITA, developed by Acquire in Japan and XSeed Games outside - this piece of digital 'art' looks ass kicking fun... where ink is your weapon!?

I love the touch screen battle commands - displayed in the videos below, this will be one I'll be picking up as soon as it launches!!

The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo

"No boobies were harmed in the making of this poster"

The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo (18)

Dir. David Fincher

Reviewed for Darkmatters by Matt Adcock

“Rape, torture, fire, animals, religion. Am I missing anything?” Mikael Blomkvist

Welcome to the dark, lurid world of Stieg Larson’s multi-million selling novel – wonderfully reworked here in English by master director David ‘Social Network’ Fincher. Sure it’s only been a few years since the original Swedish language film brought the iconic titular ‘Girl’ to the big screen but this new riff on the material is something rather awesome, something that reaches into your soul and squeezes it so tightly that time flies past in a whirl of deception and intrigue.

The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo packs in the nastiness - serial killing, Nazis, incest, rape and violent retribution, yes it’s trashy and base but Fincher manages to elevate the overall experience to one that leaves you breathless and highly engaged. The second the cool opening credits roll – to the disturbing strains of Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross's soundtrack – through to the semi cliff-hanging finish (there are two more books / films in this series), this is a cinematic experience unlike any other.

Daniel Craig is excellent in the central role of disgraced hotshot journalist, Mikael Blomkvist, who gets more than he bargained for when hired to investigate the unsolved disappearance of a girl from her home on an odd little family owned Swedish island. Could the case be linked to the work of a serial ritualistic murderer whose sadistic killing spree has spanned generations?

"Fee, fi, fo, fum, I smell the blood of a Nazi scum!?"

By far the star of the show though is Lisbeth Salander (an incredible performance by Rooney ‘The Social Network’ Mara), a socially challenged twenty-something super hacker and ward of the state. She who wears the dragon tattoo is the pivotal character who undergoes extreme sexual abuse, humiliation and degradation at the hands of her perverted legal guardian. Her subsequent revenge is eye-wateringly savage but completely understandable – and is designed to empower females everywhere.

The build up of the investigation is more clearly laid out in this version too although the list of suspects from the Vanger family on the island is short and it’s not a major surprise when source of the evil is found.

The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo is meticulously shot film and creates a truly dynamic chilly atmosphere which veritably leaks from the screen into your subconscious.

Highly recommended for those who like their mysteries shot through with pitch-black undercurrents. Come on Sony, get parts 2 and 3 made soon!


Out of a potential 5 you have to go with a Darkmatters:

öööö1/2

4.5 – breath in those smouldering lurid thrills

Awesomeness öööö – kicks in hard in places (that other films cannot reach)

Laughs öö – dark mirth in places

Horror öööö – oohh that's nasty in places

Babes ööö – stars the only Rooney I fancy (see below)

Spiritual Enlightenment öö – not so much unless you want to investigate the theology of revenge?


Trailer:


Second opinion: Tom Wade's Review on CultureSlap

"Rooney shoots and scores (looking more normal here)"

Darkmatters - Billion Dollar Films

"$2.7 billion - that's a lot of love for the blue people..."

Top 10 Films Ever (box office)

Matt Adcock

2011 saw 3 new entries into the Top Ten Biggest Grossing Films of ALL TIME...

That means that now 10 movies have pulled in over a billion dollars at box office - here's the list:

1. Avatar (2009) $2,781,505,847
Darkmatters Review

2. Titanic (1997) $1,835,300,000
Review

3. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2 (2011) $1,327,655,619
Darkmatters Review

4. The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (2003) $1,119,102,868
Review

5. Transformers: Dark of the Moon (2011) $1,114,558,779
Darkmatters Review

6. Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest (2006) $1,065,896,541
Darkmatters Review

7. Toy Story 3 (2010) $1,062,984,497
Darkmatters Review

8. Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides (2011) $1,041,963,875
Darkmatters Review

9. Alice in Wonderland (2010) $1,023,285,206
Darkmatters Review

10. The Dark Knight (2008) $1,001,921,825
Darkmatters Review

Not exactly what we at Darkmatters would call the 'best films of all time' except maybe Dark Knight (and in Tom Wade's case Transformers 3)... but amazing that Titanic from 1997 hasn't been bettered by anything other than Avatar - will Hobbit, Avengers or Dark Knight Rises (new Catwoman below) crash this party?

Darkmatters Game Picks for 2012

2012 - Looking Good for Games!!

Matt Adcock picks his top Games for 2012

Yes Grand Theft Auto V is the game that I'm (and most of the gaming world) most looking forward to this year... but I'm also very excited to play Bioshock Infinite, Mass Effect 3 and the obligatory upgrades of Fifa and Call of Duty (especially on PS Vita).

But here are some videos that might help you get in the mood for some gorgeous looking gaming experiences in 2012...

Uncharted: Golden Abyss

wipEout 2048

Dust 514

Escape Plan

StarHawk

Twisted Metal

The Last Guardian

The Last of Us

Darkmatters Films of the Year 2011

2011 - The Darkmatters Films of the Year

by Matt Adcock

It's that time of year - to reflect on the movies that have been the highlights...

So without further ado - here are the ones that delivered over and above the rest - for sheer entertainment, thrills, spills and cinematic excellence!?

10. Attack The Block

Hard edged sci-fi action mixed with street level laughs delivers a quality British feel good time. Credible, scary and fun...

Review

9. NEDS

Meet young John McGill a really smart, lovely, ambitious kid. Journey with him as he falls into the underworld of becoming a NED (Non-Educated Deliquente) it's tragic and heartbreaking but also shot through with great humour and grim violence.

Review

8. Limitless

The average movie goer only uses 20% of their brain when experiencing a film.

‘Limitless’ however brings experimental drug NZT to the table - a drug that allows people to use the full 100 percent of their mind for films or absolutely anything. Recorded side effects however include scorching of the pleasure receptors as a result of witnessing such a delirious action thriller head-trip.

Review

7. HUGO

Chloë Grace Moretz dazzles in this homage to every early film and the whole art of film making. The year's best 3D too (well up there with Drive Angry?!).

Review

6. Warrior

Warrior is a crunching plot punch to the forehead, followed up with a emotional knee to the abs and finally a satisfying slam take-down. Tom Hardy FTW!

Review

5. Black Swan

A phantasmagorical case study of someone breaking down but it is utterly watchable thanks to having a director with such artistic verve, empowered by an incredible cast.

Review

4. Super 8

Think Goonies mixed with Close Encounters of the Third Kind and, throw in some great references to films from across the genres and you’ve got the winning recipe for a new breed of classic.

Review

3. The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo

Evil will with evil be expelled. Fincher’s remake is a turbo charged black hearted beast powered by Mara’s transformative performance.

Review

2. The Tree of Life

“Where were you when I laid the earth's foundation? ...while the morning stars sang together and all the angels shouted for joy?” (Job 38)

Challenge yourself - see The TREE of LIFE and reflect on life, the universe and everything!

Review

1. Drive

I'd like you to meet ‘Driver’ (Ryan ‘Half Nelson’ Gosling) a man with no name but an uncanny way with cars. Drive is a uber powerful, heartbreaking romance shot through with heavy-duty violence and awesome crime-drama-action.

Review


Also highy recommended and in need of mention for various merit:

Sucker Punch - visually exquisite babetastic kick ass action (Review)

Drive Angry - devilish overload of OTT sexually charged violence (Review)

True Grit - updated western classic that rocks on many levels (Review)

Never Let Me Go - heartbreaking cloning / life drama (Review)

The Fighter - crunching gurning masterclass of hope (Review)

Take Shelter - mind twisting gut punch of apocalyptic doom (Review)

(quad poster not available - Katrina Bowden who stars pictured instead)

Tucker and Dale vs Evil - wonderful woods based red neck horror comedy (Review)

The Kings Speech - lovely royal-em-up life affirming tale (Review)

Source Code - excellent time jumping thrill ride (Review)

Kill List - brutal heart of darkness writ large on the screen in style (Review)

Super - The 'wrongest' super hero film ever, but so right if you can dig it!? (Review)

Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy - Classy spy slow burn steeped in quality (Review)

Happy Christmas!!

To all Darkmatters readers!!

'classic Christmas artwork'

Christmas cheer for the new year - which might be the year that Indiana Evans makes it big in the movies...

she certainly has the looks - but can she make the jump from TV?