Film Review:The Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy

"so long and thanks for all the fish"

The Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy (PG)
Dir. Garth Jennings

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

“Attention, people of Earth. I regret to inform you that in order to make way for the new hyperspace express route, your planet has been scheduled for demolition. Have a nice day.”

Don’t Panic! – you still have about 12 minutes left… more than enough time to down a couple pints, say goodbye to friends (at least one of whom might turn out to be an alien) and then stick out your intergalactic ‘thumb’ and hitch a ride on a passing spaceship just before the earth is disintegrated!!
Of course from then you’ll need luck, bravery and preferably a copy of The Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy if you’re going to survive. The ‘Guide’ in this first big screen outing for the late great Douglas Adams’ classic comedy sci fi, is a sort of super PDA – imagine the lovechild of a Sony PSP and IBM’s Deep Blue supercomputer – voiced by Steven Fry. It details just about everything you might want to know about in the universe and is slightly cheaper than the Encyclopaedia Galactica.

Arthur Dent (the perfectly cast ‘everyman’ Martin Freeman or ‘Tim from The Office’ as he’s best known) is the unlikely hero who gets to travel the galaxy in his pyjamas, face down hideous aliens (and their unspeakably bad poetry) and try to win the heart of Trillion (Zooey Deschanel an unemployed Earth astrophysicist / certified sci fi geek’s pin up after this). The Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy or H2G2 as it’s sometimes called blazes a trail for British sci fi – showing that Dr Who is not alone in this pretty empty area of the entertainment universe. It might not have the budget, the special effects or the action of certain other sci fi films coming out this year, cough *Star Wars* cough, but by-Jove, H2G2 is going to whip the others when it comes to being the funniest!!

That’s right – poster quote time:

“Hitchhiker’s is going beat the living crap

out of Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith

and War of the Worlds combined”

- if assessed on which film is the funniest…

Fans of the books, radio and TV series’ may be divided as to how they feel about the new Marvin the paranoid android (still paranoid, still has brain the size of a planet – but now a head almost a big to match). Or Zaphod Beeblebrox (a spot on, hyper annoying turn from Sam Rockwell), as the ex-hippie, thrill seeking, double headed President of the Galaxy who’s many claims to fame include inventing the Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster – a drink that feels like having you brains smashed out by a gold brick wrapped in lemons – and being voted the Worst Dressed Sentient Being in the Known Universe for a record seventh time!
Other highlights include a nicely sinister John Malkovich as new character Humma Kavula and the wonderful Bill Nighy as Slartibartfast – planetary construction engineer par excellence…

Hitchhiker's is a marvellous film, Jennings has done a great job of fusing the off the wall elements and I think that Adams would have been proud of what has been achieved with his creation. Yes it has a slow pace and some of it is highly indulgent - but it's almost impossible not to get caught up in the infectious madness that shimmies across the screen. You might not find action but you will find the answer to life, the universe and everything – which is a fair trade I think!! The online site for H2G2 (http://hitchhikers.movies.go.com/ ) is a thing of beauty too, where you can even ask the ultimate computer - Deep Thought - a question although you may not be surprised by the answer… So, all things considered, I’d advise you to bring meaning to your existence by going to see The Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy at your earliest convenience – just make sure you know where your towel is!

Of course alternatively, you could just lie down on the floor with a paper bag on your head and wait out your last 12mins of existence instead - but it won’t help…

Darkmatt Rating: öö42öö (essential viewing)

Matt Adcock Meets and Interviews the Hitchhiker's Cast

Other film reviews by Matt Adcock

Matt Adcock meets Chucky!?

"here's chucky"

No I didn't 'meet' Chucky but I did get this fun Q&A from the cool Momentum Pictures PR guys -
who sent me this, which may be funnier than the film!

Matt Adcock meets Chucky...

Q: So, Chucky, after a hard day's slashing, how do you unwind?

C: I like video games – ‘Grand Theft Auto’ -- anything with a body count. It's very relaxing. But I'm a responsible parent: I don't let my kid play. He might break 'em.

Q: In 'Seed of Chucky' you and Tiffany are reunited on the set of a film chronicling your bloody past. If there was a real movie about your life, who would you want to be Chucky? And who would you have play Tiffany?

C: Let's see...Tom Cruise is too short...Keanu Reeves is too wooden to play a doll...I'd have to go with Prince Charles. He has the right combination of harmless exterior hiding an evil core. And Camilla Parker Bowles, of course, was born to be my bride.

Q: Redman, a leading figure in hip-hop and the UK's Hannah Spearitt from the pop super group S Club 7, co-starred with you in 'Seed of Chucky'. After being around so much musical talent, can we expect an album from you in the near future?

C: You call them "talented?" Those hacks? I had to waste 'em just to shut 'em up!

Q: You're a fairly small guy who's gone a long way in Hollywood. I imagine Verne Troyer (aka Mini-Me), the Olsen twins and Frankie Muniz owe a lot to you. How does it feel to be an icon for the, ahem, little person?

C: It's like I always say -- It ain't the size that counts, it's what you do with it.

Q: In 'Seed of Chucky' you're responsible for the death of Britney Spears. If you had the chance, what other celebrity would you 'take care of?'

C: Well, Simon Cowell's at the top of my hit list right now. I'd like to wipe that smirk off his smug face. And Sean Penn. What a whiner he's turned into! (Sigh.) So many a**holes, so little time.

Q: Scottish actor Billy Boyd worked with you on 'Seed of Chucky.' After the incredible success of Lord of the Rings how did he behave on set?

C: Let me tell you, that little hobbit's a total prima donna. I wanted to cut him down to size, but there'd be nothing left. And that accent! Is he, Scottish? I couldn't understand a goddamn word he said!

Q: What's your favourite horror movie?

C: "Bridget Jones." That fat chick scares the s**t out of me.

Q: Now that you are a family man, have you considered making a romantic comedy?

C: No way. I ain't going soft. In fact, I'm up to replace Brosnan in the "James Bond" franchise. And I'm working with a voice coach to get the accent right. I think my chances are pretty good...but if anything should happen to Clive Owen or Daniel Craig in the next few months, don't blame me.

SEED OF CHUCKY is rated 15
and is released across the UK on Friday 13 May 2005

Film Review: The Interpreter

"the truth needs no translation..."

The Interpreter (12a)
Dir. Sydney Pollack

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

Should I ever find myself the power crazed dictator of some small African nation, I’ll certainly be really glad that I saw The Interpreter. This film is packed full of tips about how to secure your power base (simply stage an assassination attempt at the UN), try and escape war crime trials at the International Criminal Court in The Hague (you should stage an assassination attempt at the UN at your earliest convenience) or even show the world that mass murder can be a ‘pre-emptive strike against terrorism’ by, yes, staging an assassination attempt at the UN. I’ll also be on the lookout for foxy blonde minxes who might just overhear something they shouldn’t whilst working late at the UN, you just can’t be too careful when planning political assassinations…

So here’s The Interpreter, an absorbing old school thriller by master director Sydney ‘Out of Africa’ Pollack that sets up a decent premise and plays it out with a “AAA” cast and a few key action scenes. Nicole Kidman is the interpreter of the title and she does indeed hear a whispered threat to kill a despot genocidal African dictator when he visits the UN. Unfortunately, the would be assassins see her and so must take her out before she can spoil their plan. It’s all rather suspenseful and the excellent Sean Penn is appointed by the US secret service to keep her safe. Yes – a classy, sexy, single interpreter teaming up with rugged handsome protector (who’s conveniently just lost his wife), bet you have absolutely no idea where this plot might go… But The Interpreter doesn’t serve up the expected well worn love story – rather, thanks in no small part to the quality of the lead actors, we get a tangled situation that engages the mind as well as the heart. This is no wham bam – brain in neutral - action movie, you will need to pay attention and it will really help if you can get your head round the concepts that patience and forgiveness can be just as effective as bloody vengeance.

Kidman is a beguiling mixture of driven determination balanced with attractive fragility, while Penn adds to his impressive list of portraying likeably intense men with issues.

In true thriller style, there is much more going on underneath the surface than meets the eye – who can be trusted, what are their motivations and can Penn save the day?

There’s only one way to find out…

Darkmatt Rating: ööö (efficient issue based tension)

Other film reviews by Matt Adcock

a self-facilitating media node

"Gone, but totally Nathan trashbat foolishly Mexico..."

Am missing my weekly fix of the foolish one...

As Barley himself said: "A taxi home with a bird who's been hitting on you like some kind of industrial hammer, stroking her tits, tending the garden, giving the taxi driver a hard-on. Now back home, fingers roam, phat reggae on the decks, and you feelin' the foam.

Trashbat says "Nice and gently, easy as you park the Bentley!" Bring it down. Trashbat is two people leaping from the twin towers and f*cking on the way down!"

Trashbat Messiah

Film Review: Haute Tension / Switchblade Romance

"careful love - those blades look nasty"

Haute Tension / Switchblade Romance
Dir. Alexandre Aja

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

“High Tension” by name (unless of course you live in the UK where it’s Switchblade Romance) and hardcore off the scale tension by nature…

This film is a relentless, demented, blood soaked roller coaster ride that will shred your nerves and decimate your finger nails – and it’s French.

I’d heard that this film didn’t hold back on the gore and was brutal in the extreme but I was still amazed by the images presented – there are some things that you just can’t “un-see”. Coming on like a French update of Funny Games – this begins as a home invasion massacre and then drops into a cat and mouse chase thriller (with plenty of inventive violence courtesy of axes, crowbars and a portable circular saw that would give any chainsaw a run for its money).

It is incredibly grim – but then it’s meant to be – this is a blood lust overdose, stylishly handled and a “cut” above any horror film I’ve seen for years... The killer (Philippe Nahon) is an iconic piece of redneck callousness – the very last person you’ll ever want to meet… Cécile De France is superb as the girl who has to take the fight to the monster and try to save her friend (Maïwenn Le Besco). Plus there’s the twist(ed) ending… This is a film to make you doubt your friends and not answer the door after dark!!

Aja is certainly a director to watch.

Darkmatt Rating: öööö (gruesome excitement for sickos everywhere)

Lovin the PSP... literally?

"the new PSP lick control system seemed to work..."

It’s no secret that I love my PSP…

But this article made me smile when it popped up on the game related news boards:

CLICK THIS LINK - to read the piece from Game Girl

And here is the PSP licker in her own words:

"Lets just get right to the point: I'm the chick who shamelessly licked her PSP. And you know something? I loved it, and I would do it again! I love my PSP. It's slick, long, shiny and new and panders to my every whim. Besides the fact that it is just straight up kick ass! ( Who wouldn't want to put their mouth on that thing!?!)"

This is the column that the licker writes

Ref:

Keira Knightley - DOMINO will rock

"Mmmmmm miss Knightley looking very good!"

Have you ever stumbled upon a trailer for a film which you're quite excited about and after watching it have been blown away by the sheer potential coolness of the film in question? Click this paragraph and prepare to be!!

I‘ve just seen the Domino trailer and can confirm that it looks very very tasty… Tony Scott being one of my favourite directors – Keira Knightley being one of my favourite (looking) actresses.

Written by the genius bloke who made Donnie Darko and based (sort of) on the true life story of Domino Harvey – model turned bounty hunter…

This is pretty near the top of my ‘must see films 05’ Click Now!!

For my previous thoughts about Domino (and another great photo of Knightley) CLICK HERE

Jennifer Garner: Makes Me Happy

"cute women - another reason to be cheerful"

"All men seek happiness," says Blaise Pascal. "This is without exception. Whatever different means they employ, they all tend to this end. The cause of some going to war, and of others avoiding it, is the same desire in both, attended with different views. The will never takes the least step but to this object. This is the motive of every action of every man..."

I believe Pascal is right. And, I came across a blog which was merrily proclaiming the lifestyle of "Christian Hedonism" - the believe that God purposefully designed us to pursue happiness...

But surely seeking your own happiness isn't sound biblical doctrine? Aren't Christians supposed to seek God, not their own pleasure? Apparently this isn't so far removed as might be thought... Pleasure-seeking (hedonism): basically means that we value most what we delight in most. Pleasure is not then God's competitor if we accredit Him with having created whatever it is that we're enjoying...

I mean - if a friend tells you, "I really enjoy being with you," you wouldn't accuse him of being self-centered. Why? Because your friend's delight in you is the evidence that you have great value in his / her heart.

Might not the same be true of God? So whilst marvelling at the physically pleasant attributes of Jennifer Garner may not be everybody's idea of a religious expression of worship - but taking pleasure in God's creation is actually exactly what He'd like us to be doing!

Sign me up as a devout Christian Hedonist...

Worship with me by click these links to other Darkmatters posts about Jennifer Garner:

She is Great Looking

Elektra Is "Awful" Admits Garner

Film Review: Elektra

Film Review: Below

"an express elevator to hell"

Below
Dir. David Twohy

Reviewed by Matt Acock


“Try not to fraternize with the men. They can be a little... strange.”
“Strange, as in superstitious?”
“As in ‘strange’."

Welcome to a cool, nerve jangling submarine thriller in which there is more than just the threat of mines, depth charges and torpedoes at stake – this sub has got a malign presence which is making things go ‘bump in the night’ – but where can you hide when you’re six hundred feet beneath the waves?

I was drawn to this film for many reasons – not least of which is that it was in part written by Darren Aronofsky – he of the magnificent ‘Pi’ and ‘Requiem for a Dream’… Directed by David Twohy after his cult smash ‘Pitch Black’ and before his dumb but fun ‘Chronicles of Riddick’ follow up…

There is a lot to enjoy here – just about every WW2 cliché gets a good going over with some additional dangers thrown in for good measure. The tense atmosphere on board the sub is really well handled and the frights are of the ‘music announces them a mile away’ type but still effective. Some excellent shots of the sub itself and a good eye for framing the scenes for maximum impact puts lifts this B movie up with the best sub films - Crimson Tide, Hunt for Red October etc...

Dexter Fletcher pops up as a Brit survivor along with London born Olivia Williams. The yank crew are standard off the shelf characters but they do get some cool dialogue – at one point they ponder whether they’re all actually dead which is fun.

Dive dive dive for some spooky submarine thrills!

Darkmatt Rating: öööö (direct hit)

Tiger Woods PSP

"I'm Tiger Woods"

Along with an extremely exciting Masters 2005, I've been enjoying a weekend of mini golf... against Tiger Woods himself... and my father in law too...
Yes, much to the bemusement of my lovely wife, I've become addicted to Tiger Woods PGA Tour on the PSP. The graphics and game play are pretty much up to the delicious PS2 standards, the fact that you can take your round of golf with you wherever you go – that’s a thing of beauty!!

Tiger Woods on the PSP is a just great game…

As they say at McDonald's “I’m lovin it!”

Film Review: Sahara

"ooh - check our matching trousers"

Sahara (12a)
Dir. Breck Eisner

Reviewed by Matt Adcock


Adventure has a new name… Unfortunately it’s just not quite as good as the old one it had and for my money - Indiana Jones would kick Dirk Pitt’s butt any day of the week!! Sahara you see suffers from a bad case of “trying to keep up with the Jones’” but if it’s a mind numbing blast of daring do and swashbuckling adventure you’re looking for – then you could probably do worse than take in some of this sandy action. Based ever so loosely on one of Clive Cussler’s popular novels (of which there are many more just waiting their turn to be sequels should this one make enough cash), Sahara tries really hard to entertain and occasionally succeeds.

Matthew McConaughey is the Dirk in question and he struts his manly stuff as one of the most preposterous action hero wannabe’s for some time. Fortunately he’s not alone as he has trusty sidekick Steve ‘National Security’ Zahn on hand to deliver the necessary funnies and take the pratt falls. Penélope Cruz tries and fails to do anything other than look cute and completely unbelievable as the World Health Organisation representative on the trail of a deadly plague. The plot throws the principle characters together in Africa where Dirk is searching for lost treasure aboard a fabled lost ‘ship of death’ which may or may not have something to do with the growing number of people going down with the plague. The baddies of the piece are Lambert ‘Merovingian from the Matrix’ Wilson and Lennie ‘Snatch’ James as an unscrupulous businessman and a paranoid African warlord. Neither is nasty enough to warrant too much attention and there is very little doubt at any point that good will win the day…

McConaughey of course doesn’t waste any opportunity to take his shirt off and pull some ‘ooh look at my muscles’ poses – which I guess will please those who like muscular chaps with unnervingly white teeth.
For me though Sahara was a near miss, not as much fun as Pirates of the Caribbean and not packing enough of a punch to come near to the Indy films. This is an action adventure for those who don’t want to be troubled by too much action or adventure.
So, watch it at your peril, you’ll be picking the sand out of your under garments for weeks to come…

Darkmatt Rating: ö ö (undemanding)

Serenity Film - Also a comic !?

I’m getting very excited about the fact that Joss Whedon, of Buffy the Vampire Slayer fame, is making his big-screen debut as writer/director with Serenity - follow-up to his wonderful cult-hit TV show Firefly… And today I heard that there will be a three issue comic miniseries based on the film…

The plot goes like this - the crew of Serenity once again find themselves broke and on the wrong side of a number of very large firearms, making the first issue a case study in how to mix intense, Whedon-style character interaction with cinematic action and violence. Artist Will Conrad and colourist Laura Martin paint a rough and wild world of adventure across a strange and dangerous universe…

Each issue is going to have three cover choices, one for each member of the Serenity crew, drawn by the biggest names in comics. Issue #1 features Mal by John Cassaday, Inara by J. G. Jones, and Jayne by Bryan Hitch.

Read what I thought of the TV series: Firefly

GHOST IN THE SHELL: STAND ALONE COMPLEX (VOL 1)

"tasteful shot of female heroine... anime style"

GHOST IN THE SHELL: STAND ALONE COMPLEX (VOL 1)

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

Step this way for a cool dose of cyberpunk, anime crime fighting, existentialism and a heroine who thanks to having a 'cyber' body is pretty uninhibited when it comes to dressing sensibly...

The plot of this TV series assumes that the events of Ghost In The Shell (1995) never happened, and is thus an alternate timeline. It has some lovely quirky bits like the text that appears around a "Laughing Man" icon shown quite often in the show; "I thought what I'd do was, I'd pretend I was one of those deaf-mutes." which is a line from J.D. Salinger's "A Catcher in the Rye." etc - so it's not perhaps the low brow blatantly sexist cartoon that you might have been expecting...


"bigger the better seems to be the weaponry order of the day"

I loved both the Ghost In The Shell films and apparently there are 26 episodes of this - so having just watched the first 4 on my PSP, I think I'm hooked for the duration.

This is a great intro for people who may have never tried anime... and despite having a few annoying bits (what are those child voiced robot tanks about eh?) - the artwork is of a high standard, the plots interesting and the female is um, well, she reminds me of my wife!!

Darkmatt Rating: ö ö ö ö (cool)

Read my review of Ghost In The Shell 2: Innocence

Which bunny are you?

Congratulations. You are the kiss my ass happy bunny.

which happy bunny are you?

Man, picked this up off Rachel W's blog - don't normally go in for this kind of thing but upon seeing my results I thought I'd share them with you. How do you know when your ass is happy though?

Film Review: Dead Man's Shoes

"be sure your sins will find you out..."


Dead Man’s Shoes

Dir. Shane Meadows

Reviewed by Matt Adcock (@cleric20)

“God will forgive them. He'll forgive them, & allow them into Heaven. I can't live with that.”

Dead Man’s Shoes is a highly accomplished film, a bold, stark, utterly gripping, unsettling & powerful drama, which mixes humour and horror with strong characters and an emotive ‘revenge’ theme. And if that were not cause for celebration enough – it’s a British film!!

Caution though, watch this and you will not easily forget it, so if you’re of nervous or sensitive disposition you might want to think twice...

The story is of two close brothers who return to the northern English hometown they left years before. Richard (an unbelievable performance by Paddy Considine) is strong and purposeful, a man on a mission, an angel of death with a heart of darkness… But all of his cold, hard anger and homicidal hatred comes from the fact that he loves his younger brother Anthony (powerfully portrayed with real feeling by Toby Kebbell). Younger and slightly retarded, hesitant but with a ‘true heart’, he worships everything Richard does…

Vengeance is the order of the day, revenge on a bunch of loser scum drug dealers at whose hands Anthony has suffered whilst Richard has been away in the army. Led by the wannabe hard man Sonny (Gary Stretch who also starred in Alexandra with Kebbell) this lot have it coming and we get to watch as they are terrorised, freaked out, humiliated and murdered one by one…

It’s strong stuff but Dead Man’s Shoes works on many levels and it is shot in such a matter of fact way that it will get under your skin.

As the cool Ducks over at Duck Mafia point out – the film has several strong religious aspects:

“Dead Man’s Shoes is no less about Christ than Mel Gibson’s The Passion. It opens with Richard’s sombre statement of intent, “God will forgive them…” etc and ends with a God-like point of view shot from the clouds accompanied by the sounds of a Church choir. Richard takes on the role of a vengeful God while his mentally challenged brother Anthony assumes the role of Christ.
The most striking connection between Anthony and Christ is made in a late scene in which Sonny’s gang mercilessly tortures Anthony near an abandoned farmhouse. Bringing to mind the suffering of Christ, the scene emphasises the belief that Christ chose, and was not forced, to die for the sins of humanity. There is even a Pontius Pilate figure, who has the power to stop the ordeal but does not.
Another similarity becomes apparent with a key revelation in the film. Although Anthony exhibits an appealing type of simplicity and grace from the beginning, Meadows grants him actual transcendence by the story’s conclusion. The many shots of Richard and Anthony walking through field and forest achieve a level of spirituality.”

And whilst that’s quite a stretch, it is interesting stuff… and the tagline that ‘he’s in all of us’ only reinforces the ‘what would you do?’ question that you can’t help but ask when watching it…


It also made me appreciate just how strong a bond between brothers can be (as an only child I enjoy watching my sons interact and wonder what it would have been like to have brother) – so all in all this is a thinking person’s thriller and I recommend it heartily!!

Out of a potential 5 you have to go with a Darkmatters:


ööööö
(powerful and compelling)

Imagine a world where the earth is becoming hell?

Click below to find out about my  dark sci-fi novel...

Film Review: The Ring Two

"boredom comes full circle"

The Ring Two
Dir. Hideo Nakata

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

Somewhere out there is a haunted individual… He or she is having terrible nightmares, visions of ghastly things and they can’t shake the feeling that a lot of people wish them ill…
That person is the one who said “Hey, let’s follow up the successful nail biting, freaky and truly disturbing original US The Ring remake with The Ring 2 – it’ll be great!!” Unfortunately they deserve all the negativity because they have unleashed a truly mind numbing dud on the world…

I enjoyed The Ring, it was nicely freaky and built up no small amount of tension. The Ring 2 isn’t and doesn’t. How did they get it so wrong this time? The original Japanese Ring 2 was much more gripping and effective, the US version is just limp and whilst it is mildly unsettling – I found it hard work to muster any enthusiasm for it. Even the delicious Naomi ‘soon to be in King Kong’ Watts can’t save this – but that hasn’t stopped it topping the charts in both the US and here in the UK…

Of course, they don't dream, you know. The dead don't dream, and the dead never sleep. They wait, they watch for a way to get back – and the dead are unlikely to happy if they get to see how duff The Ring Two is…

The scariest thing about this is how terrifyingly dull it is…

Darkmatt Rating: ö (dull)

Film Review: Be Cool

"are we cool?"

Be Cool (12a)
Dir. F. Gary Gray

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

Now… this should be the coolest film on the planet - John Travolta is back his super cool gangster ‘Chili Palmer’ in this sequel to the “cool” comedy smash Get Shorty. And it’s absolutely choc full of cool stars – Harvey Keitel, Uma Thurman, James Woods, The Rock, Vince Vaughan and it even has a Steven ‘lead singer of Aerosmith’ Tyler cameo as himself… Based on a cool novel by Elmore Leonard and directed by the bloke who remade the Italian Job – how could it fail to be the coolest film of the year?

Be Cool is fun, brash and in patches very cool, but it’s also absolutely disposable entertainment and doesn’t really deliver on its significant promise …
But don’t worry about that too much. Look, Mmmmm, so many stars, so many “humorous” situations… Come on let’s just gorge ourselves on this quality Hollywood junk food – it might make you feel a bit sick afterwards but man it’s hot spicy and satisfying while it lasts…

Travolta’s Chili Palmer really is a cool character – and here he gets mixed up with all sorts of bother when he moves from the film industry of Get Shorty to try his hand in the music business. Understandably he hooks up with Edie Athens (Uma Thurman) who owns two things of note: 1. a record company with serious debts and 2. one of the tiniest bikinis ever to grace the screen. There are of course plenty of sharks in the music industry and the power struggle that ensues over ‘hot’ new property Linda Moon (Christina Milian) involves the Russian mafia, some gangster rappers and unscrupulous music boss Nick Carr (Harvey Keitel). Also caught up in the many-layered plot are a sleazy music manager named Raji (Vince Vaughn) who thinks he’s black, and his gay bodyguard Elliot (The Rock showing that he really can do comedy) who thinks he’s an actor.

It all cracks along in an fairly enjoyable fashion, with many a nod and a wink to the audience including the very dangerous line “I hate sequels” when discussing lame follow ups to good movies. Travolta and Thurman get to do another dance floor number, the Rock steals the show with his camp antics and Steven Tyler tries to straight face the line “I'm not one of those singers who appears in movies!”
I guess everyone is looking for their next big hit, I just don’t think Be Cool is necessarily it…

Darkmatt Rating: öö (coolish)

Random Travolta Homage

"ah, ah, ah, ah, - staying alive, staying alive etc"

In response to meeting the great JT himself (see interview Matt Adcock Meets John Travolta) I had to post the above pic - for some strange reason I was one of the few people who actually quite enjoyed 'Staying Alive' - especially the end dance spectacular 'Satan's Alley' or whatever it was called...

So in a probably vain attempt to gage the readership of Darkmatters Blog - feel free to post your top JT movies in the comments section and we can compare notes:

My Top 5 are:

1. Pulp Fiction
2. Get Shorty
3. Grease
4. Carrie
5. Staying Alive

Matt Adcock Meets John Travolta

"altogether now... he's behind you"

Everybody Be Cool this is an interview…

Matt Adcock Meets John Travolta

Cool, calm and collected – looking very good for his 51 years, in walks John Travolta and I feel slightly awed. Here he is in the flesh, the iconic dancer from Saturday Night Fever, the Grease ‘lightning’ superstar, the Pulp Fiction hitman and um, the dodgy looking alien from Battlefield Earth… Okay, apart from that last one, this guy is the last word in cool but for me his ‘coolest’ role is as Chili Palmer in Get Shorty and now back in Be Cool…

How do you see Chili Palmer?

“Chili’s a gangster, but he has an image of himself as much cooler gangster, more along the lines of James Bond. And one of my favourite screen idols was Sean Connery, in particular as Bond, so I just took that as inspiration for my own take on Chili Palmer. When Get Shorty first came out I actually got a call from Sean who said: ‘I just saw the film and I loved it.’
So, Chili is fearless and never loses his cool, he's dapper, elegant, fun, and romantic. Chili embodies all the things the Bond character does. But America has no character like Bond so I figured, why not make him the American answer to that – a kind of ‘street James Bond’?”

Chili Palmer is definitely cool but are you cool in real life?

“At home it’s hard to be ‘cool’ when my 4 year-old daughter is quick to tell me: "Oh Dad, stop it!" I wish I could be more like Chili in real life.”

I can relate, with a 4 year old at home too but what would you say is ‘cool’ for you?

“Want to know what’s cool? My planes are cool. They're in the backyard. A few days ago I kissed the kids goodbye in the pool, walked 20 steps, got in the plane and flew to London. That's cool.”

Can’t argue with that, so what was your favourite line in Be Cool?

“One of my favourite lines in the film is Cedric’s (Cedric the Entertainer who plays a rap-artist producer), he’s about to shoot somebody and he says, ‘and don’t tell me to be cool. I am cool.’ Isn’t that everything this movie is?”

How was getting down on the dance floor again with Uma Thurman?

“With this movie being set in the music industry, we couldn’t resist it. The Black Eyed Peas had done a brilliant rap version of a Joabim song called ‘Sexy’ and it was exactly what I wanted to dance to. The dance scene was always going to happen in this film, getting to dance with Uma again was a bonus!”

What about working with The Rock (who plays Elliot – a camp bodyguard / wannabe actor)?

“After listening to Elliot do his audition monologue – I can relate to how Chili reacts. I think I'm very kind to people who aren't particularly good. I feel I would have probably responded exactly like he does, being very calm and non-reactive and giving some gentle words of advice. I like the idea that Chili would sooner kick his ass than insult his talent.”

Finally – is there any chance of you doing a Grease sequel (I have to ask as my wife is a huge Grease fan)?

“Let's not go there… Grease must be left alone.”

Darkmatters Fiction - CLERIC artwork

CLERIC...

This is cool, as my novel Darkmatters creeps ever nearer completion (still aiming for this Summer!!) I have commissioned a very talented fantasy artist 'Keith Thompson' to come up with some initial visuals of the characters.

Below I'd like to introduce you to the "Hero" of Darkmatters - Cleric.

It's an absolute head rush to see something that as existed only in my head and in words on page suddenly take form... click the picture to see it in more detail...

"a friend of mine..."

Cleric’s memories of his past loves were vivid – imperfect yet comforting unless picked at for any length of time, a lot like scar tissue – almost as good as before but never quite the original. At least he could still differentiate between his memories and reality – which was more than his 'friend' Sxboy (SB) could. SB was wired, living in a half trance never more than a nanosecond away from his hardwired lustjoints. To say ‘addicted’ was not to fully acknowledge just how fully he had been taken over by his obsession. His mind boiled with a million images of scantly clad females – always almost but never quite naked – and his libido burned white hot, every second of every hour. Yet ironically it had been a long long time since he had actually been intimate with a woman. Having been one of the first to be fitted with a Scon8 chip, he was forever lost in his own make believe fantasy world – all in the comfort of his own mind – and due to this rendering most of his social skills obsolete, it really disadvantaged him when trying to impress the fairer sex.The institute for populace deviance owned and monitored the data stream from his Scon8 chip and had found a way to fund their work by broadcasting the highlights on one of the multitude of ‘arousal’ channels…

OK - so Cleric has a dodgy taste in friends but he still just might get the girl, kill the baddies and save the entire planet - you'll have chance to find out if the ultimate confrontation between good and evil ends in tears when Darkmatters hits the shelves...

read sneak peeks here:

A Brief History Of Darkmatter

Cleric Shows Up

Fear Of Death

Film Scene - gun battle

Test Subject #30022

Cleric Gets Mugged

PSP - the reason we have thumbs?

"Matt's commute to work"

PSP - it's out in the USA now, out in Japan... but nobody knows for sure when it will come out over here in the UK... Still, I'm happily playing my Japanese import model (perfect, no dead pixels, 1Gb mem stick) and pretty much everyone who has a play with it (WipEout Pure is a great intro game) walks away slack jawed and vowing to get one - it kind of sells itself.

Anyway - I heard today that the latest South Park episode was written about the PSP - Kenny got one, Cartman wanted it etc... and then I stumbled over the wicked cartoon above at www.penny-arcade.com/ which is a site well worth a look... seems the PSP is seeping into the universal conciousness of society nicely...

So, think I'm gonna go bag some Metal Gear Acid plus maybe a Tiger Woods Golf?

Film Review: Stander

"You're Scheming On A Thing; That's Sabotage"

Stander
Dir. Bronwen Hughes

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

Good cop – great criminal!!

Stander is cool crime caper based on the true story of André Stander, a South African homicide/robbery police captain who became one of the most notorious bank robbers in the country.

Thomas ‘The Punisher’ Jane plays the lead and obviously has a lot of fun as the cop who decides to defy the system and goes on an audacious crime spree; robbing banks during his lunch hour then returning to the scene of the crime to lead the investigation.

He gets taken down by his cop colleagues and jailed – and it is his speech in front of the court which highlights his dismay at being part of the oppressive system which sees him having to shoot and kill a black protester: “I'm tried for robbing banks. But, I have killed unarmed people.” To which the Judge replies “That is not the business of the court.”

It doesn’t end there – in jail Stander gets to know Allan Heyl (David O'Hara) and Lee McCall (a great turn by Dexter Fletcher). After a daring jailbreak, the 'Stander Gang' – looking for all the world like the Beastie Boys in their Sabotage video - go on a top robbery rampage. Their crimes get increasingly bold – even returning to a bank to rob it again when they hear the manager boasting that he had a second safe hidden…

So, loved by the public, their blatant disregard for authority makes them folk heroes and enemy no. 1 of the State.

Stander is a great film – it shows the issues of the time in a powerful way and ramps up enough robbery action to satisfy crime fans. It has a fun vibe too, some of the most wicked moustaches you’ll ever see and characters that you can’t help being sucked in by. A classy soundtrack helps nail this as a film really worth checking out when it opens at the end of May in the UK.

Darkmatt Rating: öööö (top drawer)

Film Review: The Punisher

"your punishment - watch the DVD"

The Punisher
Dir. Jonathan Hensleigh

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

“God's going to sit this one out” says Frank Castle aka The Punisher and to be honest I don’t blame God for doing that… The Punisher is a kick ass Marvel comic book hero who has been unlucky twice now in his cinematic turns. First there was the Dolph Lundgren (last seen in 2004’s ‘Fat Slags’ - the movie, as a gym instructor) version back in 1989. That film’s claim to fame was that 91 people got killed individually on screen, not including those who died en masse in explosions, etc… I’m not sure if any of those were reflections of audience members but safe to say that it was no classic (although now I have a strange desire to watch it again after seeing this new version).

As Frank himself says: “Those who do evil to others - the killers, the rapists, psychos, sadists - you will come to know me well…”– I guess they’re the type of people who will get this on DVD?
Still, The Punisher isn’t the worst action film I’ve ever seen but the tone jumps about horribly so that you can never be entirely sure whether to laugh or cry. Just for the record, The Punisher's arsenal includes: two modified Colt M1911 pistols, a Glock 18 with extended magazine and folding buttstock, a Colt Commando with attached M203 Grenade Launcher, a Colt Python revolver, a spring-loaded knife and a Claymore anti-personnel mine – but somehow it still doesn’t feel like he’s mean enough…

Stand out scenes were, um, damn there must have been some but all I can remember is some fat blonde Russian hitman having a slapstick slapdown (whilst looking a little bit like a blimped out Dolph Lundgren), the character called 'Spacker Dave' was played by Ben 'was cool in Hostage' Foster, oh and John Travolta who did his patented ‘arch villain’ bit. More about John Travolta soon as I got to meet him the other week at the UK Press Launch of Be Cool so check back for that.

Alas Frank Castle really is dead.

Call me The Punisher and please give me a better plot in the sequel…

Darkmatt Rating: öö (punishment for the viewer)

Film Review: Valiant

"pigeons - not just flying rats but war heroes!!"

Valiant (U)

Dir. Gary Chapman

Reviewed by Matt Adcock


Is it a bird?
Is it a plane?
No it’s, Super…oh hang on I’m pretty sure that IS a bird – but not just any bird… That’s Valiant – heroic CGI wood pigeon, bravest of the brave, one patriotic little Brit who will stand up to the might of the Nazi hawks and try and save the day.

If you’re hankering for something a bit different, something to amuse the kids, make you smile and tickle your ‘proud to be British’ buttons then look no further. You don’t even have to like pigeons very much, but thanks to the excellent voice talents of Ewan McGregor, Ricky Gervais, Tim Curry, John Cleese and Rik Mayall – to name but a few – you could well find a small place in your heart for them anyway.

Bizarre as it might sound, this is a thoroughly ‘old fashioned’ digitally animated comedy telling the story of a little pigeon named Valiant (McGregor). Valiant is a Nemo like runt-of-the-litter who overcomes his small size to help the Allies war effort by flying vital messages across the English Channel, whilst trying to avoid being eaten by the enemy's falcon brigade.

Based on the ‘real life’ Royal Homing Pigeon Service whose birds won more than 30 medals during WW2!? Valiant might be choc full of patriotism, clichés and bodily function gags (care of Gervais’ Bugsy) – but it also serves as a salute to the role that homing pigeons actually played in the war.

Try as it might, Valiant probably isn’t going to trouble the likes of the mighty Pixar or out gross the latest flash CGI film - Robots (which also has a character voiced by McGregor). But Vanguard productions have put a lot of heart into their film and it’s hard not to be swept up in the ‘bunch of unlikely misfits get entrusted with the big mission’ excitement.

Tim Curry is great as Von Talon, the lead pigeon menacing Nazi falcon, and Gervais pretty much steals the show as reluctant hero Bugsy who provides most of the comic relief. As the Brentmeister himself explains: “I have always wanted to be a big mouthy bird!” and that’s exactly what Bugsy is…

So the first 3D CGI film to be produced in the UK, turns out to be a hit, it’s a feel good, family friendly treat that deserves to be seen.

Darkmatt Rating: ööö (Tally Ho!!)

Read my interview with one of the 'Valiant' stars: Matt Adcock Meets Ricky Gervais

PSP WipEout Pure = Heaven on Earth

"Sony PSP wipes the smile off competitors faces with WipEout Pure"

WipEout Pure - US version

The PSP really is an amazing little piece of hardware - and now that the US launch has taken place the US games are finding their way over to the UK,

which is s w e e t !!!

I picked up WipEout Pure and have not been able to put it down since. This game captures the perfect vibe that Wipeout games have always been associated with - insane speed, multi vehicle combat, gorgeous graphics and serious playability...

Put it this way, if you like videogames even a tiny bit, WipEout Pure will blow your socks off and put a mile wide grin on your face.

"come on then...

temporary shields can lead to brash comments in multiplayer wireless mode"

Doctor Who Will See You... On Saturday!!

"artwork by insane creative genius and school-time friend who introduced me to the joys of CARTER USM...

Mister Lee Davies - remember that name he's gonna be big!!"

Who? is back...

The Doctor, a renegade Time Lord, an eccentric, highly-intelligent scientist from a distant planet...
Travelling through time and space in the TARDIS (which looks like an old Police telephone box and is larger on the inside than on the outside). The destroyer of Daleks, crusher of Cybermen and nemesis of The Master. He saves planets for a living - well more of a hobby actually, but he's quite good at it. He's saved us from alien menaces and evil from before time began - but just who is he?

Well, this time he's played by Christopher Eccleston and has a new sidekick Rose Tyler (Billie Piper)...

And we of the Adcock household are very excited about the new series (hopefully it will get that balance between being scary enough and fun enough to be embraced by my cool kids Luke and James -who don't even know who Dr Who? is... yet).

Bush captured 'thinking up some foreign policy'

"the most powerful man on the planet... on the toilet"

I have a friend named Lee Davies, he's gifted, he can conjure up superb visual artworks like the one above. Man I'd love to be able to draw like that but my thing is writing (which is far less cool to look at).

Click the title of this post to see some more of Lee's artwork!!

Or click here to see Lee's visual of the new Dr Who? Doctor Who

Matt Adcock Meets Ricky Gervais

"Ricky (left) with Ewan McGregor (right) at the Valiant Premier"

Matt Adcock meets Ricky Gervais

I caught up with Ricky after the Premier of the new British animation film Valiant (having battled through a crowd of celebs including Ewan McGregor, Gail Porter, Kenzie from Blazin Squad, Justin from The Darkness etc etc). Valiant is a great 'old fashioned family film' which is brought to life with cutting edge CGI animation and Gervais voices one of the main pigeon heroes 'Bugsy'.


So do you like pigeons?

I like all animals. I saw a mad posh bloke hit one once with a stick and I wanted to take the stick and hit him.


Tell me about recording the voice of Bugsy?

I did four four hour sessions, the first time I just went and read the script and I was rubbish. I’d never done it before and I’m still mildly embarrassed being an actor, which is a terrible restriction and so I had to really warm up. They were like: “do it louder”, “do it like this”, “do it more cockney” and I said look I think you should have got Bob Hoskins and I saw them all look at each other and think – ‘he’s right!’ But then they let me ad lib a bit more and do my own thing and I made him more of that cowardly, wise cracking wide boy like Bob Hope or Woody Allen, because he is sort of a reluctant hero and there’s lots of “well I’d love to but I can’t”! All that sort of fear and by the end I wanted to start again! The director must have been very patient.

With something like this, you get the impression it’s very much you as the character…

Do you mean I’m a very, very limited actor?

[laughs]

Well I am!
I like to make things natural and it’s difficult in films when you don’t get the chance. I like to get a bit of naturalism because I just think people connect more with something they recognise as opposed to being force fed TV speak. I always try to give a bit of me…even to a pigeon!

You said you were ‘mildly embarrassed about being an actor’ why’s that?

Loads of reasons really, the association, most celebrities I don’t want to be associated with because they’re fools! Plus you get paid too much. You get paid more than nurses and you don’t really do anything so all I try and do is do my best and do a few things as well as I can because it’s not a thing to be proud of, it’s not like coming home from a war or saving a life, it’s mucking around. Which is what I would be doing anyway, so I just try and muck around as well as I can.

What do you enjoy about being famous?

I’ve worked out the only upside of fame is that people, even some of my heroes, like what I do. That’s the biggest perk, when I find out that Ben Stiller’s a fan or David Bowie or Matt Groening’s a fan. As long as you keep it in context it’s fine.

Bugsy is very much a closet hero. Is there anything you’re secretly very, very good at that no-one knows about and we’d be surprised to hear about?

No, I’ve given everything; I’ve got no hidden talents. Some would say no outward talents but no…
I suppose I’m quite a good shark hunter… no, that’s not actually true.


"From Jedi to pigeon and back to Jedi..."

Darkmatters Fiction: A Brief History of Dark Matter

Darkmatters

by Matt Adcock

"A brief history of Dark Matter"

Human, the top of the evolutionary chain, here we are then on what turned out to be just a tiny planet in very huge cosmos. A planet that we humans have managed for the most part to completely wreck. From here we searched and scanned and mapped and planned further and further into the unknown, all the while committing ourselves to being a smaller and less significant fraction of the ever expanding universe.

Then to make matters worse we discovered that our best scientific technology was so limited that we could not even detect 99% of what is actually out there. That 99% we term Dark Matter and once we knew it was there - it was an invitation to us to crack its secrets. So here we are indeed riding on a tiny tiny spec in only 1% of everything that we could fathom. Step up to the L2 Dark Matter Collaboration and one of their official GOV briefings… “So, to restate our assumptions and initial findings: Dark matter is believed to comprise over 90% of the Milky Way and perhaps up to 99% of the Universe as a whole. A great deal of this matter could be in the form of cool stars, planets and black holes formed from collapsed stars. Origin track-backs however put serious limits on the levels of ‘conventional matter’ that this can be composed of and so we surmise that other candidates are heavy slow-moving particles known as WIMPS (Weakly Interacting Massive Particles) that have been drifting through space since the Universe began…”

Commissioned to spend unlimited funding over an unending timescale (as long as it took) - it wasn’t a complete surprise when the L2DMC finally made a break-through. The limited number of people allowed access to the knowledge welcomed it with various levels of enthusiasm.
“About fucking time” was the first high-level official GOV reaction - having already poured over 300 billion standard dollars into the project. Arch Prime Minister Carter allowed himself a moment of reflection before issuing his commands. Safe to say that the hush hush pre-brief regarding the preliminary findings didn’t go down well.

Findings such as these come along only once in history… and were of such significance that they changed absolutely everything. The government’s panic first manifests itself when the group assigned to pre-brief them are eliminated immediately after delivering their report.

“This is seriously need to know stuff we have here” quipped A*FUL the GOV ‘Bastard Level’ assassin bot reviewing the illegal copy it had made into its hard data storage area before expertly dispatching the scientists with its built in large calibre weaponry.

As soon as the preliminary findings briefing finishes, aware that the public will not know how to take the news (and that the media won’t hesitate to use the data in the most sensational way), Carter orders that everyone from the L2DMC be liquidated.

A*FUL reports to Commander Riichardson, the GOV’s head of robotic armed forces (a human who actually preferred the company of his metallic soldiers to that of other people). “The scientists have got to go – shall I dispatch them Sir?”

“No I’ve got it covered”, you can stand down.” Commander Riichardson had anyway long been expecting something of the sort and had taken the liberty of rigging the entire L2DMC labs with micro thermo nuclear charges – so he fired up his access chip, logged into the denotation sequence and then paused... “A*FUL did you catch any of the briefing?”
“Sorry Sir, I would be admitting to something highly irregular and completely illegal if that were the case.”
“So… How much do you have?”

I'm guessing at this point that you too might be curious as to what are these damn preliminary findings are?

Well, blinking away miles below the surface of L2 the L2DMC lab screens are displaying the first mapped segment of Dark Matter. Think about that for a minute - this is what we’ve never been able to see before; this is humanity’s first peek through a very large looking glass. And the sensational thing that warranted the immediate and brutal death of the experts who cracked this breakthrough?

There is something staring back at us from the other side.

Other extracts from Darkmatters the novel by Matt Adcock:

Cleric Gets Mugged
Film Gunfight
Fear of Death
Cleric Shows Up
Test Subject #30022

Film Review: Constantine

Constantine (15)
Dir. Francis Lawrence

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

What if I told you that God and the devil made a wager, a kind of standing bet for the souls of all mankind? Or that Heaven and hell are right here, behind every wall, every window, the world behind the world. And we're smack in the middle?
No, wait, come back… this is Constantine a full on, effects heavy adaptation of the comic book ‘Hellblazer’ – if you can imagine the unholy love child of the Matrix and the Exorcist then you’ll have some idea of what to expect.

“Whoa dude…” Keanu Reeves plays John Constantine, a chain-smoking ‘freelance exorcist’ – originally a blonde scouser based on Sting - who goes around kicking the butts of evil demons (equipped with a ‘holy shotgun’ and an annoying expendable sidekick). Alas, Constantine’s is not a happy lot, doomed to an eternity in hell because of a botched suicide attempt – love that Catholic dogma - he has taken on his demon busting duties in a bid to win back some favour with God.

Anyway, things get a little bit complicated when his path crosses with Angela Dodson (the gorgeous Rachel Weisz) who is trying to find out why her twin sister committed suicide. He also meets the Angel Gabriel (Tilda Swinton) who tells him in no uncertain terms that he’s a goner – it’s most unnerving to see the Christmas messenger swearing like a trooper and doing dodgy deals with demons. In fact Constantine plays so fast and lose with the entire biblical theology that it carves itself an interesting niche in the ‘battle between heaven and hell’ depictions. Oh and there’s another subplot about the fabled ‘Spear of Destiny’ which leads to some more crunching special effects, plus of course Satan himself (Peter Stormare) pops in for a scene stealing face off towards the end.

It’s all a bit grim – sweaty exorcisms, electrocution, drowning, wrist-slashing and much demon melting / blasting / banishing. It’s by no means a classic, but Keanu and Weisz go about it all with conviction, so if you’re after something dark, different and stylish then Constantine certainly delivers a diverting couple of hours.

Darkmatt Rating: ööö (existential action)

For a much nicer, ‘family friendly’ trip to the cinema – you could always try the cool new British animation Valiant (full review next week). As Ricky Gervais, who voices one of the main characters, told me at the Premier in London, “it’s basically a film about courage, bravery and friendship but with pigeons.”

"you might find yourself 'constantly' checking

how good Rachel W looks in a wet white vest"

Every Prophet in his house - Carnivàle

"superbness - now available on DVD"

Carnivàle

Into each generation is born a creature of light and a creature of darkness.

So it is in 1934, the ‘last great age of magic’, in the American dustbowl, a fugitive named Ben Hawkins takes up with a traveling Carnivàle. The Carnivàle is owned by the mysterious and unseen “Management”, who has designs on the young Hawkins, for the boy has an untapped gift: he can heal the lame and raise the dead – but it comes at a price. Ben also finds himself disturbed by cryptic and prophetic dreams, which he shares with a Methodist preacher in California, Brother Justin Crowe. Brother Justin, convinced he is following God's will, has begun to practice his own extraordinary talents, although the preacher's plans increasingly lead to disturbing and tragic consequences. In this "last great age of magic," Ben Hawkins and Justin Crowe are moving toward a great conflict between Good and Evil, although it not yet clear on which sides these men will stand.

Can I just say that I LOVE this series, it satisfies the ‘itch’ I’ve had ever since Twin Peaks for a quality and mysterious TV show. Carnivàle has exactly the right amount of freakiness and some of the best characters ever to grace the screen – how can you not love Brother Crowe when his sermons go like this:

The clock is ticking, brothers and sisters,
counting down to Armageddon.

The worm reveals himself in many guises across this once great land; from the intellectual elite cruelly indoctrinating our children with the savage blasphemy of Darwin, to the craven Hollywood pagans, corrupting them in the darkness of the local bijou, from the false prophets cowering behind our nation's pulpits to the vile parasites in our banks and boardrooms and the godless politicians, growing fat on the misery of their constituents.

The signs of the end times are all around us, etched in blood and fire by the left hand of god. You have but to open your eyes, brothers and sisters. The truth is that the
Devil is here.

The Anti-Christ, the Child of Lies, the Son of Darkness walks among us cloaked in the flesh of a man.

Does the Lord not weep at this degradation? Does He not tremble with righteous fury?

And shall he not seek retribution?

Ah that ‘old time religion’ eh?

All I can do is urge you to watch it –TV may never get this good again.

I leave you with the words of Samson (manager of the Carnivàle – played by the 'Man from Another Place' i.e. the dwarf from Twin Peaks):

On the heels of the skirmish man foolishly called The War to End All Wars, the dark one sought to elude his destiny, and live as a mortal. So he fled across the ocean to the empire called America.

But by his mere presence, a cancer corrupted the spirit of the land.
People were rendered mute by fools who spoke many words but said
nothing... for whom oppression and cowardice were virtues... and freedom, an obscenity.

And into this dark heartland, a prophet stalked his enemy. Until,
diminished by his wounds, he turned to the next in the ancient line of
light. And so it was that the fate of mankind came to rest on the trembling shoulders of the most reluctant of saviors...

Valiant Premiere

"roger hawk commander - flipping the bird"

Have been invited to go to the UK Premiere of Valiant - new Brit animated comedy thing with pigeons... (which will be attended by Ewan McGregor, Jim Broadbent, Olivia Williams and Ricky Gervais) and then the press conference with Ricky afterwards.

The cool thing is that I can take my eldest son Luke and he get's a Valiant party... whatever that is after the film - he's hoping there's lots of cool freebies and that we get to sit next to Obi Wan!?

Bruce Willis Q&A

"Don't shoot Matt"

ENTERTAINMENT FILM DISTRIBUTORS

BRUCE WILLIS Q&A

HOSTAGE

Release date: 11th March 2005

What was it about the book that struck you because you must get sent lots of stuff?

Actually I wasn’t sent it, I read the book on my own. I bought the book and it sat on my shelf for about a month and I picked it up and got caught up in it, read it overnight and called and asked about the rights and fortunately they were available, that was about four years ago.

So, what is it that got you excited?

It’s a really complicated novel, really complicated story and in turning the novel into a film it was a good opportunity for me to make a movie that had some action, that was a psychological thriller that wasn’t “a Bruce Willis movie”. Because of the success of a couple of films that I’ve done; The Die Hard series, Armageddon, films like that, I’ve saved the world I think 6 or 7 times now and I think that audiences have started expecting if I’m in a film that I’ll save the day and this story was about a guy who didn’t look like he was going to win, it looked like he was going to lose.

The Director, Florent Siri, and I worked very hard at constructing a story that had multiple obstacles in it; emotional, psychological and physical obstacles, and right up to the very end it does look like I’m not going to succeed.

You’ve got a birthday coming up and it’s been reported you’re going to do another movie as the world’s best known cop: John McClane?

Yup! Die Hard 4.0!

You’re meant to start slowing down when you hit 50. Why not you? What have you done to beat that barrier?

I don’t know, I have worked out off and on. I hate working out. Because I work out for films now solely I come to associate it with work. I did ‘Hostage’ then I did a Robert Rodriguez film called ‘Sin City’ where again I had to be completely naked, (it was shot tastefully so the good parts won’t be seen) [laughter] but I was literally hung by the neck, with my hands tied behind my back, so I had to stay in shape for that but as soon as that scene was shot I stopped working out, that was about a year ago.

I just did five days of work on a film called ‘Alpha Dog’ directed by Nick Cassavetes and I had to do what ten, fifteen, twenty years ago was a really simple stunt, I had to run and get away from the feds and in one move climb over a six and a half foot concrete wall and pop down on the other side and land on the side walk. It was the first time I ever thought “what if I fall on my ankle, go over on my ankle or break a bone…” and I took pause, then to make matters worse the character I’m playing in Alpha Dog is a real life guy who was there and Nick said “Jack, show Bruce how to go over the wall!” and he hops up over the wall jumps down. No pressure on me now! It was the first time I actually had to stop and think am I going to get through this and not embarrass myself, not go to hospital, not get a cast on my leg! The jumping off the roof of Nakatomi towers – those days are gone.

Will you be having a big party for your 50th, any particular plans and what would be your ideal 50th birthday present?

I hope so! I was meant to have a big bash but I think there’s going to be, I’m told it’s a surprise, not the party but the musical guests are going to be a surprise. I had my wish list of bands and singers I’d like so we’ll see who shows up.

You know 50 is the new 40 anyway, so!

Bearing in mind the huge variety of roles you’ve taken on in the last five years, what do you think the public perception of Bruce Willis is?

I’ve never really paid much attention to it. I suppose I should have. I’m from South Jersey, I don’t know if you know anyone from there. I never really have lost my blue collar background. I never really got caught up in the bullshit of Hollywood. I never became an actor because I wanted to be famous it kind of happened and I was as surprised as everyone else was.

I’ll tell you my little theory on the perception of Bruce Willis. If I meet fifty new people a year – that would be a lot. Actually meet someone and become friends with them. Everyone else I don’t meet that year, around the world has an idea of who they think I am based on films I do, interviews I do, tabloid stuff they read, TV shows, gossip, whatever people hear. But what that really is is like a holograph of me. It’s not who I am as a man and it’s not who I am as a father. Because who I am as a man and who I am as a father is far more important to me than any perception in the public of whether my work is good or bad. The audience I work for is my peers and there is a network of colleagues and actors who see each other and that’s the audience I look for now. The rest of it… as long as I keep being invited back that’s good…